Go Guard

Back when I worked at the multinational conglomerate, I got acquainted with several security guards on the premises. One was “K” who was head of a reinforcement team brought in for extra protection. K was quite handsome and darn flirty. My friend Janet, a gorgeous, witty blonde, and I would saunter over from our building and meet him in the snack bar on breaks. Well-liked, outgoing and gregarious with mesmerizing blue eyes, K was putty in my unwitting hands. I discovered a noteworthy development through an ordinary conversation when he recounted a typical morning at ‘Security Central.’ Apparently each guy in their group had selected one particular gal who they considered their special female. From their distinctive mirrored window, Ms. Wonderful would be carefully observed as she made her way from the parking lot into her respective building and woe to wandering eyes of any other guy who had the audacity to make flirtatious, playful comments about his woman! (talk about jealously territorial...) Totally surprised to learn of this arrangement, I asked who liked Janet and he gave me the name of a guy I didn’t know. I then asked who his sweetie was and much to my surprise learned it was me! *shy smile*

Another cutie I got to know was “M” from the regular security dept. M was really young and strictly eye candy as search though I might, I found no substance behind the pretty face. I moved over to Chaos College and lost track of my uniformed men. I had heard through the grapevine that K had joined the police force and then later moved back to his home state of Louisiana. Occasionally I would see M’s name in the local rag in reference to some minor run-in with the police. Once I even read of some medical issue occurring at the fast food restaurant he was employed at but again, I hadn’t kept up with where life’s current had transported him. Until this past Sunday. I opened the thick edition of our paper to find his smiling face gazing up at me—from the obit page. His current town of residence (out-of-state), background, and listing of relatives were laced throughout the column but no mention was made of the cause of death. What had happened? Car accident? Disease? Jealous lover? I guess I will never know. Carefully I clipped the article. Farewell, security guy. Rest in peace... :(

Hollyweird

I used to be a huge fan of Tom Cruise... I loved him, I really did. However here lately he's just been turning into this freak and especially since meeting Katie Holmes... and then when that baby thing happened. He just went off the deep end! They are weird!!! Well it appears as if the weirdness is bothering not only me, but the Top Guns at Paramount.... check it out!

On one side is the chairman of Viacom, Inc., which owns Paramount Pictures. On the other is the industry’s biggest and most bankable star, whose last seven films have each generated over $100 million.

Redstone said Tuesday that Paramount would sever its long and profitable relationship with Cruise/Wagner Productions, Cruise’s company with producing partner Paula Wagner. Redstone told the Wall Street Journal that Cruise’s
“recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount.”

Before the Butt Crack of Dawn

I got a front row parking space today. Usually i'm dragging in at the last possible moment and I get stuck parking in BFE, but today i'm leaving really early, so I headed into the office really early... and i'm up front! It will shock everyone. In fact, when I can in Jay asked 'what is going on!?!?' I should probably write this down... doesn't happen very often.

It rolls off the tongue

Golly Wally! It's been a busy day!

I mean... week! I havent had a chance to even think about the site in the past two days. I had a meeting this morning with my area. I stayed up last night and typed up my list and made notes with each item. I had it all arranged in the order I wanted to address each item and when I finally got everyone in the conference room they all jabbered like a bunch of school girls until I finally got them settled down to listen. Its just me and ten men... *giggle*

We got thru each of my points of interest without incident and had conversation about each topic that was really productive. They put their two cents worth in... and I made notes... and we made it allllll the way to the end... then things went bad. In a good way though... but it was bad.

Someone made a comment about someone else's butt. The commentor didn't realize what he'd said... innocently. However, the rest of the room caught it, busted up laughing and the jokes rolled from there. For 15 minutes it was one Chris Rock/Eddie Murphy comment to another. Tears were rolling and bellies aching from laughter. We were cracking ourselves up... and just praying that HR couldnt hear a word we said.

I think the meeting ended on a good note. I ended it with 'remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'... and that applies to the conference room too!

Pandemonium Part Deux

Greetings Gang! Let’s see what can foul up, fall through or explode today, shall we? My pencils have wandered off to parts unknown, I have a blister on my foot from wearing cute but uncomfortable ruby sandals to last week’s orientation and I’ve never copied, faxed, or Fedexed so much in my life. As we edged closer to the start of the semester, the amount of useless, annoying spam increased proportionately and the spelling has gotten more inspired and resourceful so as to wiggle through the formidable guardian rules and filters. Here is an example I received yesterday with extra bonus points for creativity of this common spam term: ejacculatte. It looks attractive when typed and sounds like a frothy, new coffee concoction, doesn’t it? ;)

The Topfive.com’s 5 Updated "Peanuts" Specials

5. You're Just One Red-Haired Girl Rejection Away From Shooting up the School, Charlie Brown!

4. Your Beagle Is Roadkill, Charlie Brown!

3. Woodstock Meets the Window of Doom

2. Sue That Football-Yankin' Bitch, Charlie Brown!

1. It's the Great Satan, Saddam Brown!

Keys Run Amok

Chaos reigns supreme in Circeland as one might expect. Adding to the hectic first day turmoil was losing my GP key. After frantic requests for assistance, it was found cowering in some dusty, remote corner of the neighboring structure undergoing renovation. I hate it when devices run amok and try to escape!

Much more has happened, I’m experiencing the mother of all headaches and I have no time to expand on this precarious predicament but tomorrow is another day and I’ll try to play catch-up manana.

kisses,
circe

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My new tshirt addition. Mickey is so cute!

The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

We saw that movie and its a hoot. Go here, and you can race!

This past friday night we met my friend Becky at the State Fair Speedway to watch the Pro Stocks, Factory Stocks, Super Sprints and Champ Sprint cars. We sat for over four hours. It was hot. No, wait... it was flippin hot with NO breeze whatsoever and even though we were protected from the sun (races start at 7:30pm), it made no difference because the humidity was thick enough you could cut it with a knife. I wore as little clothing as possible and still that was too much. We all just sat there watching the cars go round and round... all without much movement because each time we shifted in our seats that caused our body temperatures to rise thus creating more heat around us. We did happen to sit, conveniently enough, to the liquid refreshment stand :)

The track was dirt track which is sprayed with water before the races begin, but towards the end of the racing the dirt has dried out and is flung up in the air by the cars... creating a nice dust storm for the spectators. The rubber from the tires had created some sort of slickness on the track too... it looked like that 'black ice' that we experience during the winter months from water being on the road and it freezes into that dangerously slick stuff. As the night wears on, i'm not sure if the drivers get tired and are anxious for the races to end, or if the driving conditions progressively get worse with each lap, but they increasingly wreck and stall out. The last race, which should have taken about ten minutes, took about 40 I think. One of the collisions took about 10 mintues to clean up... the cars couldnt be unhooked from one another so they had to drag the whole mess off the track in one giant piece. They started the race again and within minutes... a yellow light and someone else had a mishap. I love to go watch the races but it certainly get tiring when you're trying to watch and it really never gets anywhere because of all the stopping due to wrecks or other little issues.

Anyways... made me think of Ricky Bobby. hahaha

I'm getting pale......

Talledega Nights

We're at the very loud races!

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Oh yeah!

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Live from S in the Park

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A male model kindly took a moment to display his flipside for me. Thanx B-Boy! ; )

Welcome Mat

First a hearty “Welcome Freshmen”!!! Woo hoo! Today unearthed lumbering hordes of wandering newbies with zombie looks and thumbs inserted significantly up their clueless arses traversing our lovely campus as they obtained schedules, investigated college clubs, checked out nearby vendors and enjoyed a juicy hot dog complete with all the trimmings. They can’t miss faculty and staff as we flaunt our clonelike t-shirts that boldly proclaim today FRESHMAN ORIENTATION ’06. (Can I get an amen?) The phones are ringing off the wall and at this point I don’t think I could recite my name, but nothing beats the countdown to a brand spanking new fresh fall semester! Forgive the short posts but utter pandemonium has reigned this entire week and it gets worse next week when classes commence. To make up for my lack of eloquent posting, I plan to mo-blog at a cultured function I will attend this evening. I have packed my folding chair and nippy bottle along with some dry Blackberry and Spiced Wine lovingly produced at Wyldewood Cellars Winery in Mulvane, Kansas, so come along with me as I share my delicious vino and fill you in on exciting and interesting tidbits here at Ground Zero. :)

I love Barbie so I’m finishing off the workweek with this…

The Topfive.com’s 5 Uses for 4,000 Barbie Dolls

5> Enough pins for 400 lanes of bimbo bowling!

4> Just in case Lindsay Lohan's case goes to trial, we'll have a jury pool of her peers ready.

3> Biggest audience ever for the talk show you co-host with your cat, Mr. Fluffles.

2> "Allah be praised! The 72 virgins are falling from heaven to us!"

1> Emergency airdrops to areas where young girls are woefully confident in their own body shapes.

TGIF darlings,
circe

Insurance... Day Four

Her Majesty, The Most Unpleasant Sarah, called me back concerning my refund from my homeowners insurance policy. I called and left her a message yesterday with the whole long story of how i'm getting screwed.

Her message stated: We stopped payment on your $6 refund check because you stopped payment on your June 27 auto draft. There has been a new refund issued to you in the amount of $17 and the records show you should be receiving that shortly. I dont see where you should be owed another $97 in refund, so I'm not sure where you are getting that. I believe we've refunded all you are entitled to. If you have further questions you can reach me at blah blah blah.

Yeah, I stopped payment on that June draft... why the heck wouldnt I!? They even tried to draft my bank account again at the end of July! I'm surprised that I got the payment stopped in time. I just called my bank to see if the deposit had been made back to my account and sure enough, it was deposited back. Hallelujia! The reason why I was owed that money was because I thought they'd received the payment... nowhere has anyone tried to tell me any different.

AND if they are sending me a $17 refund.... guess I was right again. They did owe me more than $6.

I'd love to reach thru that phone and biatch slap some people.

I'm all happy now... and its Friday!!!

Our Goal

We exchanged the incomplete basketball goal stuff for a more complete package today and right after dinner Richard and C headed outside to start putting it together. They'd been out an awfully long time, so I decided to check on them (grabbed my camera too because you just never know when there might be a kodak moment and I sensed one was happening).

I was right. C was 'supervising' the work. Plopped in a lounge chair. Not only has it gotten dark on them, its hot and muggy and the instructions in the manual aren't right. On one page it tells you to do one thing, on the next it reverses it.

Lots of frustration... so I nabbed a few pics and ran back in the house just like a good wifey would do :)

Nothing but Rim

I just thought...

Last night we went to Academy to purchase a basketball goal for our house. We all like to go outside and play Pig or a little one-on-one and this is the one thing we've really missed from our old house. We make the purchase and load the goods up in the MM and take off across town to our house.

We unload the box and start pulling the pieces out. We have the backboard, the net and rim, the base, some hardware of some sort... but something seems odd. No poles. Well @#$%! We get to wondering if maybe they were an extra item. We pull the instructions out and start digging around for the parts list. Sure enough.... right there it says 'includes poles'. DAGNABIT!

We threw it all back in the box - as good as we could. At this point in time, it was too late to call or go back to the store. This morning I call them to see if there maybe is another box we failed to pick up... nope. It all comes in the same box. SO we have to load the dang thing back up and take it back to the store to get another basketball goal - hopefully complete with all hardware.

I say all that because I was sitting here fuming about the insurance deal and I got to chuckling because that happened to us last night and then I realized that i'd worn a shirt that said "Lick it up, Life is good" or something like that. It had popsicles on it.

I've got a jacked up basketball goal and an insurance company that has no record of ever having a policy on me (yes, i just got off the phone and they have zero record of me. Ever).

Getting a diet coke....

Insurance ... Day 3

Today is the third day i've tried to call my insurance agent and speak to him about this refund disaster. He's out of the office. Imagine that. He's either been 'out of the office' or 'on another line' every time I've called. He doesn't respond to emails either.

So, Ms I-have-no-idea Secretary answers today and I tell her, again, that I want to talk to him. I get the whole 'not in' story and I explain to her that this is Day Three and i'm not calling him anymore. So I ask for the home office phone number. She fumbles around for a bit (I can hear her Oakridge Boys music) and comes back to the phone and with a slight 'i'm gonna giggle a bit and hope that what i'm fixing to tell her doesnt make her go ballistic on me' laugh, says... "you aren't going to believe this! Your insurance company is the only one that I don't have any information on!"

Imagine that.

Well, while little Ms was off tootling around her day old donuts and old coffee cups I was googling that company and had already found the email address to Human Resources. I told her "no problem, i've already found HR and i'm writing them an email right now. You tell him that i've called for three days and he really needs to call me back - i'm contacting human resources right now."

Silence....

Then she says "oh. oookkay." I'm wondering if she's even given him the messages!

ok... well he just called. She gave him that message.

I've got phone numbers now :)

Music to My Ears

I got my Mountaineer back!

Early this morning I was working away at another location when I got a call... 'Kerry, your Mountaineer is ready for you to pick up'. The voice on the other end was the most angelic sounding male voice. I was so excited I almost pee'd myself. Two weeks in this great-grandma car, as C and P put it, has been trying. I was used to riding high on the road, then i went to a no power, hollowed-out bucket seat with limited lumbar support, silver, beggars can't be choosers, Ford Taurus.

I'm so excited to be back in my ride! It drives better than I remember. Its tight - you guys would love it. *snicker* Or maybe that Taurus was just loose in steering and heaven forbid I was getting used to it, but this sure drives better than I remember. I think i'm just so excited about getting it back... its probably worse or just as good and i'm blinded by the thrill of it all!

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Serving table

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Too much flesh flapping in the breeze

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Live from the ice cream social in cafeteria!

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Baby girl got her MM back!

West World

Most mornings after I groggily stumble out of bed, hit the shower, and down my coffee and yogurt while relaxing on the sofa, my drowsy peepers are treated to U.S. Marshals, united half-brothers, nefarious bad guys, Hollywood’s version of authentic cowboy attire, and rustic scenery. Why you ask? Because rather than gritty, informative news greeting my sleepy eyeballs, I am forced to view shoot‘em ups and rowdy bar fights as two full hours of intensive cowboy viewing rules the airwaves. Not a workday goes by that TBC doesn’t have his favorite category of show switched on. When I was rousing at 5:30 am, I was greeted by Marshal Dillon, Festus and a slew of ne’er-do-wells but now that Chaos College has returned to its regularly scheduled hours, I am catching Bonanza featuring the family that sticks together like stink on an unwashed vagrant.

Growing up found my considerably outnumbered dad forced to view Chick TV as the fussy females much preferred sitcoms and funny movies. All that changed when testosterone-fueled TBC started introducing me to TV, western-style. At any rate, I’m too sleepy to fight the tide so I meekly watch his morning choice and hold my tactful tongue. ;)

congenially,
Circe

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How I am spending my morning

Richard - Washing down Outback

The Haunting of Houses Past

Although we've sold the other house - signed, sealed and delivered. It's still haunting me. The day we closed on the other house, I called and cancelled the homeowner's insurance. They mailed me a paper to sign, I received it a few days later and I signed it and tossed it in the mail. Done deal.... right? Apparently, wrong.

That was the first of June.

The end of June I notice another auto withdrawal from my bank account for my house insurance. I immediately called my agent and asked him 'whatsup with that?' and he said that my parents had to run down and sign a paper for me because I never got him the one he mailed (BS i say) and that the withdrawal was taken out before he got the signed papers. BUT I should be getting a partial refund from the first overpayment and I should be getting this accidental withdrawal back too. He tells me it just takes a little while for the paperwork to go through.Within a few days a receive a partial refund of $6. I cashed the check and called my bank to put a stop payment on any future auto drafts that might come from that company (cover my arse just in case 'the paperwork' hasn't gone through yet again). I sit and wait... wait ... wait... for my full refund from the June accident.

I wait patiently all through July.

It is now August. Last night I saw a withdrawal in my account for $6. I called the bank today to see what in the heck that could be. They at first tried to tell me I must have made a $6 withdrawal at an ATM. Like heck, I say! So, they pushed on... then found that 'It looks like an insurance company stopped payment on a check and since you'd already cashed it, we had to get it back so we took the amount out of your account'. *I am boiling mad*I sweetly told her thank you... its not their fault.

I immediately called for my insurance agent and as luck would have it - he is NOT there. I got ahold of his secretary, who doesn't know shit from shinola, and left a message. This is ridiculous!!! Please forgive any mispellings or grammar errors. I am not rereading or spellchecking. I'm boiling over this deal.

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My new addition

Perfect Present

A dear faculty buddy surprised me today with an unexpected decorative lamp picture of a lovely shining beacon. If you took a glimpse in my office/IT reception area you would see it is plastered with exquisite miniature lighthouses, so this fits in perfectly with the décor I’ve got going on.

Though our gym is technically off limits this week, it hasn’t stopped determined gym rats as we defy orders and utilize the facilities at noon. Today found four perky blondes strolling around the indoor track under the watchful eye of iron-pumping, snaggletooth guy.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19
You will struggle to live down a particularly embarrassing incident this week after you're caught in public with the rest of your small, backwards town.

The Topfive.com’s 5 International Ways to Leave Your Lover

5> Lock her in the john, Juan.

4> Ditch her at the Kabuki, Teruyuki.

3> Knock up another chick, Mick.

2> Tell her you're gay, Jose.

1> Just show her that sore, Thor.

Big Droplets

It's raining!!!

I'd totally forgotten what water falling from the sky felt like. Tonite while I was at the gym, the sky got dark and scarey and lightning started sparking, the winds picked up and the dust storm started blowing... then came the rains.
Hallelujia! Hallelujia! Weeeee got R A I N!

Pressure Cooker

The lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer are quickly receding in the real view mirror of life as Chaos College ramps up the insanity in preparation for the giant fall semester which begins the 21st.

Division chairs are back today and the entire faculty arrives tomorrow but today I noticed several plain ole faculty cruising our hallowed corridors. One in particular always has his substantial family in tow. It reminds me of a ‘people train’ considering the number of humans closely following right behind him. Holding the youngest and leading this multi-sized and gendered crew, he is immediately followed by his heavy-set spouse who is in turn followed by the kiddos. Can this guy not make a move without the whole gang trailing right behind? I’ve heard of henpecked but this is ridiculous!

My state is what???

Whole Lotta Shakin' Going on in Ohio
MENTOR, Ohio (AP) -- A corner of suburban Cleveland has become the earthquake capital of Ohio, shaking on average every two weeks since New Year's Day and making people wonder: What's next?

The Topfive.com’s 5 Web Acronyms We'd Like to See (Part II)

5> IAARWIDLWMP: In an alternate reality where I don't live with my parents.

4> YSHICWTM: You're so hot I came without touching myself.

3> ADHD: I'm sorry, what were you saying?

2> TTYNPMRFBTP: Thanks to your nudie pix, my right forearm's bigger than Popeye's.

1> GGTBCOMFD: Gotta go -- the baby's choking on my flash drive.

Nascar Driver in Training

Yesterday, my friend Becky called and asked us to meet her and her son at Wal-Mart to check out the Nascar simulator. After standing in line for an hour and watching all the kids try it (including Richard who finished the game in first place) she harped on me... they all did... about hopping on and playing.

I didn't want to because a) I had a dress on and b) I forgot to put underwear on and c) they stress me out. After many minutes of pressure, I finally gave in. The little guy working the unit didn't want to put the harness on me because of the skirt but I made him to it anyways because that thing turns and tilts with the 'road' and you can fall out.

I didn't realize Becky was taking pictures. I was totally engulfed in the game... sweating bullets and white knuckles.

This morning, I get to work and a mass email was sent out with this message:

So, I was in Walmart yesterday, doing a little shopping and Blake said, “Hey mom, the Coke Nascar simulator is here – but there’s some crazy lady who won’t let anyone else have a turn!” See attachment…

She had attached this picture to the email.

Calm as a Cucumber

On my way to work this morning I called mom to inquire about her arrival at my house today to pick up my weekend houseguest. C's little buddy from way off spent the weekend with us and my parents are going to take him home. There was lots of conversation... blah blah blah... but what she says in the end is what got me.

Richard and I stayed with my parents friday night because we had scheduled a really late night with a big group of my friends and driving home at 3am just didn't sound too inviting. So anyways Saturday morning we hung around and chatted with mom and dad for a bit before heading back to the city. Mom says ' your dad and I were talking about this after you guys left on Saturday. We've never seen you so relaxed and easygoing. You guys look so happy!' Well, I am. This past year with Richard has been fantastic! Its amazing how the person in your life affects you (good and bad) and Richard is definately a plus. For the first time ever in my life I feel relaxed and happy with, well everything.

We go well together. Like bread and butter, chocolate and peanut butter, chocolate and strawberries, chocolate and.... ohhh a diet coke!

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Pee of sumyoung guy

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Roger playin pool. Tryin to win us the table.

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My buddy wendy

Introductions

This is my friend from waaaaaaay back. Michelle. We had a common interest.... her brother. Even though that deal didnt work out - thru all these years we've maintained a buddy-ship. Today she sends me an email with this picture attached. She explains in the email that they had a power outage and it had gotten pretty hot and in this picture she is looking all gnarly (along with the cat). She's always been a beauty queen... so I couldnt imagine her looking bad. So, I open the picture and here she sits looking as good as ever!

So, here's Michelle looking like her bad self. ;)

Snaggletooth

My usual cohorts were MIA at noon today leaving me and the new guy/student to stick it out in the grueling gym. He’s not bad looking but when he smiled and spoke to me I fought back the urge to gasp in horror. There is something drastically wrong when you are that young and missing several front teeth. Oh my!

Cancer June 22 - July 22
Remember: While volunteering to remove your shoes before entering a friend's apartment is indeed polite, volunteering to remove your shirt, pants, and undergarments is anything but.

The Topfive.com’s Web Acronyms We'd Like to See

5> SIYW: Surprise! I'm your *WIFE*!

4> GGMHWTV: Gotta go, Mom's here with the vacuum.

3> LOTSMKPFGM: Logging off to sell my kid's plasma for gas money.

2> AIIOMGSTV: "American Idol" is on -- must go shoot television.

1> MDSYMSCAMANHH2YHWALS: My dad saw your MySpace comment about me and now he's headed to your house with a loaded shotgun. (hahahha! Myspace…RME)

Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Frustrations will boil over and lead to unexpected aggression,when, for the third straight night, your 6-year-old son—the rude little bastard—falls asleep right in the middle of your bedtime story.

Don’t you just hate when the wee ones pull this boorish stunt? ;)

Ciao darlings!

Rain, Rain.... come back

I can't believe not one drop of rain fell on us last night. The clouds have skirted all around us... teasing us with the hint that maybe it might start raining at any moment. It was even cooler than usual this morning when I headed out for work. But as of right now.... lunch time.... it still hasn't rained.

I talked to Aaron this morning and he said it rained on him all the way from Tulsa to Okmulgee. We didn't get any of it...

We had a brown-out though. If that counts for anything.

Our History is back!

Our previous site, Metalfly, went belly up on our Blogiversary in July due to some ^@#^&!@%#!*% excuse made by the hosting site... but after much work, we've got the data back and with a new domain name.

You can see the old Metalfly at http://www.offthetop.us/

We're still tweeking.

Thanks for getting the goods back, Richard... you rock!

Punch This

My sis and I went to a kickboxing class tonite. Its not the same one I went to a month or so ago. This is a new one. I showed up to class on time and they had already started. I walked in and the room is full of people running about. One half is running from wall to wall... the other is doing jumping jacks. I spy sis and she (very breathy) whispers... run! I just stood there... what? She repeats... run!!! I threw my stuff on the floor and I hear, from some faint voice up front, join us in the front. I turn and the leader chick of this class is the cute little oriental/white chick! Again, Grant would love to be in my shoes. She's built like a shit brickhouse with the cutest little sparkling personality. She isnt a tiny little 'oh my gosh i might break her' girl... she's got some meat/muscle on her. Looks totally awesome.

I ran up front and started in on my jumping jacks... then she screams 'switch!' We all rotate and I find myself running those laps. This was just the warmup.

We kicked and punched and kicked to front, side and back, punched some more. I had sweat dripping in my eyes and sweaty nasty hair flinging about. She then instructs us to put our boxing gloves on and position ourselves with our punching bags. I noticed this faint smell of... ass. I wasnt sure if someone farted or if someone had on moldy clothes or what... but I didnt want to make a scene 'oh my gawd! what is that rank smell!' So I followed suit and began punching and kicking the bag. I pictured different people I'd like to be standing in front of me as I punched... I looked over at my sis and just smiled and said "you remember that time when we were young and you put your jolly rancher on my alarm clock?!"... then i punched. HARD. That was a great workout!

Off with the gloves... then I could smell ass even more! I lifted my hands and took a sniff. ASS! Its all over my hands! I stuck my hands in ass-gloves! My stomach churned. I leaned over to sis and asked her if her hands smell. Certainly... I bet we all did. It was like I had put nasty sweaty athletic shoes on my hands. I had Athletes Hands! Smelly, nasty, sweaty, ass hands. As soon as this class was over I made a bee-line for the bathroom and coated them in the industrial strength antibacterial soap.

That is nasty! It was like someone had taken a poo and I wiped their ass with my hand. Using NO toilet paper! ugh! There has got to be a better plan for that... I guess I might need to invest in my own boxing gloves.

Grant: Another one I'll try to get her picture, website, phone number... something for you. She's really sweet...

Foxy Roxi

Being a supportive Browns backer finds me on the receiving end of their peppy email newsletter. In a recent issue was a photo of a gal in a southern state receiving some Browns-related commemorative coin. What caught my eye and caused further speculation was not the innocuous picture staring back at me but the somewhat unusual hyphenated surname. Oh. My. God! I gazed intently at the image. Surely there couldn’t be two Roxanne’s with this specific maiden name who just happened to be enthusiastic fans? I squinted harder to enhance visualizing the sixth grade girl I knew who had morphed into this adult stranger, if indeed it was her.

Roxanne was a natural-born leader with a talent for jump-starting anything fresh or innovative in our studious class of sixth grade overachievers. Not only was she bright and intelligent, she also flashed a winning smile and bubbled over with perky, contagious enthusiasm. "Miss Cutting Edge" was the first girl in our class to wear a bra, which caused a panicked stampede to the department store for hasty purchases of training bras (whether we needed them or not) from all her devoted followers. Besides beginning the hooter(less) holder craze, she was also famous for her intimate boy/girl parties in the low-lit confines of her sheltered basement. Slow dancing with nervous males would come in handy later when practicing coed interpersonal relationships, but at that innocent time it was a matter of enjoying the swaying nearness of Andy or Cole as we moved in tandem to the lilting music. Occasionally a cozy couple would glide to a darkened corner to collect stolen kisses in the unobtrusive shadows.

Our close friendship ended with the close of our last primary school year. We moved in different circles with the advent of the next higher step in the educational process. I suppose we blindly passed each other in the halls but the camaraderie we shared in elementary school was long forgotten. After my email discovery, I dug out my dusty yearbook to remember the brown-eyed, freckled cutie of my Buckeye past. A coveted (not by me I assure you) leadership office allowed her, along with adorable Andy, clever Cole, and two other gals whose names escape me, to grace the cover as their smiling visages welcome all to our slice of junior high heaven. Her Cleveland reign abruptly ends with that institution as she disappeared off the radar by the beginning of high school. I assume she moved. Though a yawning gulf separates us by years and geography, Roxi and I unite in spirit as we cheer on our beloved home team. :)


This is the kind of headline a person just dreads seeing:
"4 Penguins Perish in Freak Texas Truck Accident"

Is there no justice in this world??? Just look at this sweet wittle face…
Just saying. ;)

Word of the Day

I think the German word for pregnant is bedeutungsvoll

Someone told me it was schwanger.....

I dont think so.

Ohhh, Drummer Boy!

To help explain my multimedia message from last night...

Richard and I headed up to Baker Street Pub & Grill for Battle of the Bands. The place was packed as everyone prepared for the bands to battle it out. The winner of this battle gets to go on to Arlington for the finals (I think... kind of got lost in all the announcements).

Drummers are H O T!

The first band took stage (the picture I sent to blogger) and I noted that the drummer was hot (informed Richard.... who curled his eyebrow at me and took a drink). I also watched the lead singer... he reminded me of someone but I couldnt place it. But then it came to me - he reminded me of a 'Vladimir'. I again informed Richard of the guys new name, Vladimir, and that the drummer was hot. I think at this time I received a roll of the eyes and some comment.

At the break, we talked about getting a set of drums and C taking lessons and how drummers are H O T!

The second band takes the stage (Luma I believe was the band name)... and they were rocking! The drummer... not so striking... but the lead singer reminded me of someone. I thought and thought... and at one moment, while he was making out with the microphone, I got it! Bono! U2! That's who he reminded me of. I (of course) have to let Richard know of my findings.... drummer dude not as H O T as the first one, but the lead singer now has a name too! I think there was conversation exchanged between us, but I'm not sure as I was having to read lips - music was too loud. For all I know, he was making comments about the hot waitress... whatever it was I was smiling and agreeing. hahahaha... (she was a cutie patootie).

During Luma's performance I turned and sang It's gettin Hot in Herrre, lets take off all our clothes... haha not really, but I should have. It was hot in the room... it was asses to elbows at that point and very late. So, we tabbed and headed out. We totally missed the third band, so i'm not sure who won and is moving on... but good luck to whoever!

Note: I love you, Richard... you are my best friend. I'm so happy to have you as my husband and my run around buddy that I can share everything with... even down to my 'H O T' comments. *kisses*

Insomniac

Greetings gang and welcome to Wishful Wednesday. I don’t know how many of you are like me but I suffer from a degree of chronic insomnia and have for as long as I can remember. Lately it’s gotten worse. Ever since carefree childhood, that selective sandman has eluded me for 30 minutes minimum and more often than not, a prolonged, interminable hour. Many are the nights I toss and turn for lengthier increments as I vainly try to locate the 'off switch' to my busy brain. Yes, I’m an avid and relentless deliberator and have frequently been informed I ‘think too much’ (and you know who you are :P). Unfortunately, bedtime is usually my first chance to review/mull/ruminate over the current day/future plans/thorny problems and my mind starts furiously clicking away at the most inopportune moments. Boring reading occasionally proves helpful and I have found Jane Austen’s collection of works to be the most snooze-friendly (sorry Jane). But the more usual method resorted to is medicating myself, reluctantly traveling that precarious pill route. Guess one has to do what one has to do…

Our favorite unkempt, scraggly-haired electrician is on campus today in preparation for a city-wide power outage arranged for tonight. He popped his head around the corner and proceeded to regale Grand Poobah and me with totally inappropriate humorous answers to a factual questionnaire. He is a total mess but we like him. When Esteemed Colleague was employed here, Mr. GQ had quite the crush on her and would vainly entice her to his dating lair. She stubbornly resisted those unsolicited attempts much to his chagrin. Ah well, a better man was in store for our lovely KerrBear. :)

And finally, klutzy Circe managed to send her full cup of wakeup juice flying across her peripheral computer desk thus giving various objects an early morning invigorating shower. It could have been much worse as the keyboard and preshus pricey cellphone were spared the caffeine drenching. GFR then proceeded to imitate your humble IT frontwoman in a show of empathetic solidarity. Thanks babe!

The Topfive.com’s 15 "Star Wars" Euphemisms for Masturbation

15> Shooting Womprats in Beggar's Canyon

14> Grooming the Wookie

13> Making the Kessel Run

12> Polishing Vader's Helmet

11> Evacuating Tatooine

10> Unsheathing the Meatsaber

9> Releasing the Special Edition

8> Jumping to Delight Speed

7> Communicating with Red Leader One

6> Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo

5> Tinkering With the R2 Unit

4> Manually Targeting the Rebel Base

3> Performing the Jedi Hand Trick

2> Scratching Yoda Behind the Ears

1> Test Firing the Death Star

Multimedia message

One of the bands at Bakers

Gas Prices

That ain't no shiznit!

One last thing

oh.... and another thing! I want all of our pictures back! We'd posted tons of pics to share... and we need those albums back.

*hint hint* I know he has a backup....

No, Chang You

One thing I do miss about us being on Metalfly was that Richard had just set us up so we could do reviews. Movie reviews, restaurant reviews, wine reviews... whatever we desired and the entry would show with a little ditty to make it unique. Was kind of fun. Here... it's plain vanilla until we get some time to tweek it a little.

I just drove by P.F. Chang's a few minutes ago... every time I drive by I think "blah". It's not that great... not very good... nothing to write home about. The atmosphere reminded us of The Elephant Bar (really good food and great mixed drinks with a ton of beers on tap) which is loud and dark. I'd much rather get chinese food in the food court at the mall. I really don't understand why the parking lot is full all the time.... I think people are parking there and walking to the other restaurants in the area. The one cool thing was the booths... oversized and really comfy if you are with a large party. Otherwise... No, Thank You! I'll grab a sandwich.

Perspiration Station

Though coming to work at 8 am was a welcome blessing, discovering the AC outage suffered by another building now includes our distinguished hallways was not the way to initiate the work week. This will result in a bitchy, perspiring staff before a heating and air specialist arrives this sweltering afternoon to alleviate the problem. I would wear a long-sleeved suit ensemble today. *sigh* I just heard student workers in the hallway loudly protesting this untenable state of affairs so this should prove to be one noteworthy Monday. I noticed one of our 'distinguished' faculty is helping in registrars today and is sporting a yellow sticky note nametag with his name scrawled on it. We are nothing if not professional. :)

Restaurant Revue
This past Saturday evening found TBC, me, sis, and brother-in-law sampling the gastronomic delights of a newly opened/renovated restaurant. This establishment was formerly a rowdy club with a somewhat morally tarnished reputation (and a snide alternate moniker). It was darn near impossible to keep the flashbacks at bay as I gazed around the section once housing the throbbing, gyrating dance floor. Though my immaculate reputation remained unsullied, I do vividly recall the night I pounced upon unsuspecting guys as they emerged from the lavatory requesting a spot on their dance card (never received a reply in the negative). One evening I went on a ‘country’ night and received dance lessons from some gracious, polite, accommodating cowboys. Oh the memories… ;)

TBC made for a lively dinner companion having tied one on prior to our dining experience and regaled us and nearby diners with loudly related, wince-inducing tales of all kinds of crap. Though a serviceable nightclub, I cannot recommend this locale as an eatery. Basically, the service was slow, the food cold or undercooked, and the prices too high for the quality and aggravation suffered. Next!

My sis-in-law was in town recently for a high school reunion leaving this a fitting finale:

The Topfive.com’s 5 Signs Your High School Reunion Is Going Badly

5. Although it sounds loftier, "Food Service Boiler Operations Chief" is just Wendy's-speak for "French Fry Guy."

4. The bar is run by the lunch ladies and the only drinks are Salisbury-steak coladas, sloppy Joe-tinis, and fish-stick sours.

3. Your toupee falls off while dancing to Foghat.

2. Your wife finds out from your former FFA buddies that your "little problem playing the ponies" didn't have anything to do with gambling after all.

1. All the guys keep hitting you up for lap dances--on your night off!

Friends From all Over

Yesterday afternoon, Richard and I joined a group of friends at Toby Keith's I love This Bar & Grill to listen to and support a fellow mate who was performing on the patio. Facing the blistering sun and heat, we sipped on drinks, jabbered and sang along to his version of today's, and yesterday's, famous tunes. Did I mention it was flippin' hot!? Good grief it was sweltering. He played and sang for three hours... and with each ticking minute, the sun bared down on him more and more. The patio became less 'covered' as the sun shone in the side. Gradually everyone began migrating to the other end of the patio to try to capture a few minutes of shade before the sun found them again. Sun shades. All I gotta say... they make them for patios ya know!

When the tunes ended, we skipped off to join Sunny and Teresa at Maker's for more refreshments and music... in the cool refreshing air conditioner. We chilled there for a few hours before I received a phone call from Tiff... she was in town for a Bachelorette party and wanted us to join! whoohoo!

We all tabbed out and headed for CityWalks. Because Richard and I didn't really dress for clubbing we were convinced we wouldn't get past the door. However, it just so happened that I dressed in my cute little tight t-shirt that says 'Constant Supervision Required' and the shortest little white shorts... which showed my neverending tan legs at their sexiest best! When confronted by the bouncer - requesting our ID's - he immediately noticed my, ummm, shirt. Then he turned to make a comment to the other bouncer... about my shirt. So we stood and giggled and chatted about the phrase... and how much 'trouble' I can get into. They paid no attention to our attire, but just turned to Richard and said 'very nice!' and waved us on in. haha

Once in the club, we had to find Tiff. Its a club with 7 different clubs under one roof... so she could be anywhere. Thanks to cell phone technology... text messaging I mean... we were able to locate the blonde bombshell in minutes. Just like old times, Tiff and I danced our booties off... and managed to attract several men to join us ;) Good Times! Oh yeah.... and really good times in that dark little room located just off the dance floor.... i'd love to see the pictures someone has on their digital camera that we all took. *snicker*

Paris.... Paris.... tell us another funny...

"I'm not having sex for a year. ... I'll kiss, but nothing else," says Hilton, who told the magazine she has had sex with only two men during her lifetime.

WHATEVER! She's full of doo-doo!

Multimedia message

At makers

Baby News

Congratulations to my friends back home!

At 9am yesterday morning they, along with big brother Noah, welcomed baby Reagan at 9am.

That little baby girl was right on schedule. I wonder if thats an indication of how her little personality is going to be. Punctual.

Dig Those Rims

This morning I pulled into the parking lot at work and parked in the first available parking hole I could find on the last row of parking. I usually try to park far away from everyone else anyway to help minimize door dings and crap like that. Anyways, as I was gathering my things I looked out the window and caught a glimpse of the car next to me. It had a bashed front in too. I cracked up... chuckling to myself. Injury Row. Every vehicle that has been banged up parks on the last parking row... probably still trying to prevent door dings. lol Now, if I wasnt trying to be so careful and I drove like a maniac and parked within two inches of the next vehicle (yes, that has happened to me and pisses me right off!) I'd probably never be involved in an accident or have one little scratch. Funny how it works like that.

But now, my sweet MM has been admitted to the vehicle hospital and i've been reassigned a rental car. Its hard to get used to driving 'down low' in a car when i've been used to 'riding high' for years. I like being up high so I can see everyone. I also am going to miss the radio controls on the steering wheel.... I have to actually reach over and push a button to change the station. While driving the car from the rental place to work, I kept pushing the button (which isnt there now) to change the station. I wonder how long I will do that before I get it - that its not there! lol... I'll probably get it the day before I return the car and get my MM back.

Just thankful I have something to drive... dats all. ;)

Temptation Eyes

My fellow staff colleagues and I greet today with varied and mixed feelings as the final misty moments click down from our summer hour schedule. The good news is we will not have to sleepdrive our way here at the buttcrack of dawn or stare forlornly waiting for the pokey minutes to tick away heading toward that glorious SIX. Of course the downside is not having Fridays free to indulge in three-day weekends replete with sleeping in, taking a mini-vacation, running errands, or indulging in many outdoor, pleasure-laden activities. A brief Sat/Sun weekend just doesn’t seem extended enough to ‘get the party started.’

Yesterday found our organization enjoying yet another Mexican Pile-On for lunch. I don’t think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out what screwball department was first in the queue. But even more galling were the pushy crew of unknown male high school summer help heading that line with their voracious appetites and piled high plates. And exactly which ingredient had each contributed to this mutual group endeavor? Nada!

Lustful hesitation. Despair and desire. Entangled enchantment. Physical attraction. Fighting off nerves. Irrational fears. Dissimilar levels. Uneven playing fields. Quivering mouth, wet lips, earth-shaking fantasies. The right Mr. Wrong. A thousand flashing red lights, a million unspoken questions and yet………
I want to. I long to. Chilled liquid courage. Smiles holding future promise. Dare I? ;)

Can you remember remember my name
As I flow through your life
A thousand oceans I have flown
And cold spirits of ice
All my life
I am the echo of your past
A strand of silver hanging through the
sky
Touching more than you see

Hear this, Grant!

It's no secret that Grant likes Asian girls. I guess I shouldn't say girls. Women would be a better choice of words... at least over the age of 18. Every day this week i've gone to my physical therapy session and every day I am greeted by a different woman (they have all been between the ages of 25 and 35). Today's session was with the cutest little asian woman. As I laid on the table with suction cup electric pulsing things all over my back and her massaging the rest of my back with a vibrating electric pulsing thing, I thought of Grant and how he'd love to me right about now (minus the car accident of course). She was cute cute cute and had a sparkling personality to boot with clean teeth! (I always check out the teeth... cant stand dirty teeth! eewww)

We chatted about the accident and about how other drivers can be complete idiots. She shared some of her accident stories and we laughed at the little quirky things we do after an accident because you're a little sheepish for a while. I'm hoping that I get her again so I can ask if she has a website. An Asian Girl website... yes, Grant would like that ;)

Hang Ten

Continuing my dating adventures brings us to the wacky redhead from Virginia, Steve. While not exactly the cutest(ok, he wasn't THIS bad!), he was probably the funniest of the bunch with the most endearing personality. This time a tangle of red hair flopped down over blue (or hazel--drawing a blank on precise color) lighthearted, playful eyes. I met him and his buddy Vos on the beach surfing and things kicked into high gear. Quite the wave rider, he thought it was totally awesome where I resided and I felt the same about his area (Hampton). One weekend we decided to go hang out in his neck of the woods so we took off in his orange VW Beetle. I failed to tell the fam of this spur of the moment travel decision resulting in the police being notified, but I digress. That night we pulled over into a school parking lot on the Virginia side and grabbed some shut eye. Early that morning we were rudely awakened by a Virginia law enforcement officer resolutely demanding that we vacant the premises. Both of us were really broke so we mostly chilled at his family’s gorgeous house overlooking Chesapeake Bay as we scrounged for food. We even engaged in a little panhandling at the mall. Later that night we headed for Vos’ domicile and cranked up the tunes in his attic hideaway, vainly scouring the place for some smoking pleasure. He was completely out or this would have been my initial introduction to demon weed. *gasp* I think we must have scored some brewskies at some point as I distinctly recall tumbling into a concealed ditch by the side of the darkened road thus muddying my attractive orange shorts ensemble. (Note: Ditch-diving—a repetitive occurrence in my impetuous youth). The following morning we decided to head back to NC and aborted our ‘Hampton Roads Excellent Adventure.’ Our courtship pretty much ended at this point though we did occasionally talk on the phone. I’m sure wave wanderlust lured him back down to my eighty miles of kitty litter vicinity in search of the perfect curl but we never again locked lips or eyeballs. Steve, if you are out there, Circe hopes and prays you are still “hanging ten.” ;)

Bumper Update

Yesterday I got all checked out and x-rayed at the Accident Clinic (has some other long name but can't remember it right now, which by the way is caused by this accident - short term memory loss). During my initial assessment, they asked me if i had suffered any memory loss. I said "I cant remember". lol... Really I think I had because all weekend Sheri kept commenting that I couldnt remember squat. But I just think it was because I had alot on my mind. Either way.... i'm fine.

They determined that I needed a week of muscle therapy and then they'd reassess me. Today was day two of therapy and I feel soooo good! That, coupled with painkillers and muscle relaxers... I am sailing right along! I get to lay on this table with my face in a hole and they put sticky prickly suction cup things all over my back and little shocks of electricity flow thru them. At the same time, the little lady is running some massager thing all over my back and neck. Then i'm covered with hot molten lava - not really, but it feels like it. Its hot compresses of some sort. It feels so good!

Since the wreck i've had the hardest time sleeping. Every time i'd move i'd wake up due to back/neck pain. This morning I started out of bed and fully expected to crawl to the bathroon like I had been, but I sat up and there was no pain, no aches, no crackling of the back and neck. Whooohoo! I'm hoping this whole injury thing is short lived and i'm back to 100% quickly.

Things look good on the vehicle/insurance front too! Its all working out *saying thank you prayer*

Tote Tales

A few weeks ago GFR spied my turquoise tote sprawled on the carpet beneath my computer desk and inquired as to its origin. I was only too happy to recount that memorable tale of its acquisition. April Fools Day proved to be unforgettable in more ways than one. a) Daylight Savings Time commenced, b) We were flying back to the USA where nasty tornadic supercells gleefully awaited our Totoland arrival, and c) I was tearfully leaving my beloved “S” in the DR.

It all began with the ride to Santa Domingo’s airport with “S” at my side. The closer we got to the complex, the faster the glistening teardrops rolled down my cheeks, causing constant swipes at the roll of toilet paper perched on the console of the van. By the time we entered the crowded airport, I was having a full-blown, head-turning cryfest with all present staring at the blubbering American sobbing uncontrollably. (yeah, Drama Queen Circe) Hence, it was with watery, swollen eyes that I stumbled my way through the ticket line and DR customs and dejectedly settled down in the chair at the gate. Well, the first gate as we switched gates THREE times before the ‘chicken of decision’ finally pecked out a permanent one we might use to fly out from. With an hour delay ahead of us, I forlornly surveyed my surroundings and fresh anguish washed over me as the crying jag kicked in afresh. As I had made my way through the gauntlet of shops lining either side of the hallway, I managed to take a sideways glance at a particular one selling purses, accessories and delightful totebags. In a concerted effort to appease his heartbroken flying companion, TBC gamely agreed to my returning to this place of business and purchasing a lovely turquoise tote. Though the tears had briefly abated, upon returning to the chairs my misery welled up anew and I realized drastic measures must be taken immediately to overcome my tidal wave of grief. New carrier in hand, I determinedly marched to the ladies loo where I locked myself in a stall and guzzled down a small emergency bottle of Chardonnay discreetly tucked into my bulging carry-on. The soothingly amber liquid worked its appropriate magic as my jumbled emotions settled down and inner calm prevailed. In short order the sun peeked out from behind the storm clouds, my smiling countenance basked all in its benevolent light, and witty banter was exchanged with my fellow travelers. Though a day fraught with emotion and stress, for the remainder of the arduous trip, peace reigned in Circeland.


The Topfive.com’s 5 Signs Your Car Needs Washing

5. The kids seem really freaked-out by those blood stains in the Bronco.

4. Visits to the farm always result in pigs humping your tires.

3. Kids write "PLOW ME!" on your trunk.

2. When you blow the horn, prairie dogs pop up from the hood.

1. That rank smell coming from under all those McDonald's bags? The missing baby!!!

Party Pics

Even Piper got lei'd. haha.. I will get into so much trouble for saying that. (sorry Sheri...hehe)
The paper flowers... this one was my favorite.

The crazy party kids...

Hot Lifeguard reporting to duty.

Kerry helping Skip with his weiners.

The boys' leis

Mark made the fruit bowl out of a watermelon and my sis played barmaid.

Hau`oli la hanau!

All of our hard work paid off this past weekend.
Our luau rocked! My sis and I have planned this huge party for C and the next door neighbor girl, Allie. Way back in May, during a fluke conversation, we learned that their birthday's were on the exact same day. We immediately thought 'we've got to have a luau! A boy/girl party would be so fun!!!' For weeks we planned and got crafty and shopped... and it all went without a hitch. The kids had a blast... but I think the adults had just as much fun.

We made flowers out of tissue paper - like we did in grade school - and put them all over the yard and around the pool to give it the colorful/flowery effect of Hawaii. Tiki torches surrounded the pool and outlined the walkways. We made kabillions of little flowers (construction paper) and covered them in glitter and then placed one on each light that outlined the deck. At night they glistened. We had a bar in our 'hut' that served drinks complete with little umbrella's. Our sweetness, Richard, made us a CD full of music. Everything from Don Ho to the Beach Boys and then later we got some Rap, Hip-Hop... you name it.

The boys got lei'd with shells and the girls with flowers. We served strawberry daiquiris to everyone (virgin to the kiddos and hits of rum for the adults). We completely underestimated the pool. We thought for sure they would get bored with the swimming but four hours into it... they were still going strong. We'd purchased hula hoops and a limbo game... and never broke them out.

At first the girls sat along side the pool... we thought so they wouldnt mess up their hair and/or makeup, but I guess they were waiting until the boys were done playing a game of Tittie Twister. haha When it got dark, the girls had a great time teasing the boys and being 'tortured' by their roughness. We watched as they purposely stepped in the line of fire to get 'hurt' or thrown in the pool so they could scream. They learn the games at such an early age *snicker*

Happy Birthday you two! Aunt Sheri and I have decided that we rule at party throwing and this may very well by our calling in life! Next year we're going to do a Girls-gone-Wild or Mardi Gras party!

Wait... If Victoria really enjoyed this party... what in the world would she do at a Mardi Gras party!!? ;)

The Floor Show

The brick building adjacent to mine has been undergoing extensive renovation this summer. Naturally, this job falls to scruffy, hirsute construction workers and with the arrival of construction workers comes intense girl-watching. A tiny energizing spark to their otherwise humdrum existence has been gathering together in a cluster around the bed of a beat-up dark blue pickup truck with smokes in one hand and cups of coffee in the other as they synchronize watches in anticipation of the ‘amusing antics performed by arriving trained seals.’ Yes folks, we female office workers as a whole have proved to be an entertaining bunch, holding male gawkers transfixed as they focus their rapt attention on our hasty, early morning entrance to work. One can feel those ogling eyes glued to curvy forms sporting cleavage-baring tops, short clingy skirts, and leg-enhancing strappy sandals as we wiggle and jiggle our way into the building. One recent morning as I wobbled my way toward the hallowed doors I lost my precarious footing as I climbed the steps and came perilously close to doing a header right into the brick wall. My that was graceful! Fortunately for me, my dignity remained untarnished and intact as I was thankfully out of view and replaced by other incoming nubile forms currently holding center stage. Though avoiding a bleeding head wound and probable concussion, I did not escape unscathed. During our dreaded daily meetingathon, I happened to glance down at my ladylike crossed legs to discover ripped pantyhose on both toes and one bleeding tootsie! Furtively stealing a glance at my male coworkers to check their degree of observation, I froze my legs in that position so as not to draw unwanted attention. It wasn’t until much later that I learned the tech who had walked beside me into work had noticed but wisely decided not to add to my mortification. Good man.

These are the tantalizing choices currently offered on our former website instead of mindless verbiage the tipsy trio eschews. I believe our beloved Bone mournfully confessed to breaking down and purchasing vast quantities of aluminum extrusions. Whatever they are...

Metal
Titanium
Aluminum Extrusions
Aluminum Casting
Alloy
Aluminum Extrusion
Aluminum Sheet
Aluminum Tubing
Steel
Scrap Metal
Sheet Metal

Leo July 23 - August 22
With the help of a Native American tracker and a reasonably fresh trail, you will hunt down just where in Michigan those elegant, pointed-toe heels are sold.