Friday, September 01, 2006

False Faces

I so much wanted to end our last summery Friday before Labor Day weekend on a cheery, chipper note but this, alas, was not to be.

Who is really behind the mask? Friend or foe? People let us down. We expect that, but preparation is utterly impossible when caught with our pants around our ankles, free-falling through the rushing, hissing atmosphere upon discovery of ruthless, cold-hearted betrayal. Usually when we think of identity theft and all the misery, hassle and frustration it entails, we picture a lurking greedy, heartless stranger craftily sifting through our trashcan. We rarely envision this callous, lying, conniving snake to be a trusted, cherished friend. For one woman, her best friend.

The last few days have found several of my close relatives flabbergasted, stunned and outraged to discover the enormous tangled web of trickery, sham and deceit surreptitiously inflicted upon them for over a year by one solitary woman who smiled in their face while stabbing them in the back. Their pain and despair have deeply affected me who feels helpless and powerless to right this morally reprehensible wrong. But we all reap what we sow, and eventually the guilty trip themselves up, make mistakes, and blow their carefully concealed cover as the precariously stacked house of cards swiftly tumbles to the ground. And so it happened. Though she high-tailed out of here like a frightened rabbit, she will never outrun the evitable paying of the piper, or the long arm of the law. Details are accumulating and evidence piling up. Why would someone destroy the good name and excellent credit of their friends and family? Some addiction such as shopping? gambling? drugs? For the time being the ‘why’ remains shrouded in mystery. As I watch people I love attempt to glue together the wreckage of their shattered lives, my most fervent hope is that justice prevails.

Breathtaking High Heels

New shoes

Not for the bashful

I have been so busy this week traveling from one side of the state to the other... doing work in little towns here and there. Jay and I jabbered about everything from work, the weather, politics to birthing babies. We compared notes about favorite vacation spots and different clubs we'd been at and who to take where... we educated one another.

Today is an 'in the office' day. Thank God.... now I can catch up on some paperwork and check some sites!

This morning was the usual routine of me standing stark neekid in my closet staring at racks and racks of clothes and thinking I dont have anything to wear. I found a skirt but I couldnt throw anything with it. I had clothing block - kind of like brain block. However, I spied my new shoes that Richard had picked out for me a few weeks ago and I havent had a chance to wear them and it just so happened that they went perfectly with the skirt I was holding. So, I grabbed the shoes and built an outfit from there. It all went rather smoothly and I do look smashing....

I got to work this morning and sashayed down the hall and I got stopped by two men admiring my shoes... and how they make my legs look muscular. (they are muscular... even without the shoes!) We made small talk... giggled... and then I headed off to my office and got stopped again. Um, nice... uh... how are you this morning? I knew what he was getting at. I said 'you like my new shoes? Richard picked them out.. they are my stripper shoes!' He said 'exactly what i was thinking! Lets find you a pole!'

I think my shoes are a hit with all the guys... *giggle*

Thank you baby for buying me the shoes. ;)

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Over The Top Angel Goo

Last night while at the grocery store, I bought the best looking bunch of strawberries with intentions of making my crew angel food cake and strawberries. Tonite I got home from the gym and Richard had mowed the yard, loaded the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen and had C and P finished with their homework. They made their requests for dinner and I started cooking and while their tortilla soup was cooking I mixed up the angel food cake mix and then began my hunt for the cake pan. After digging for what seemed forever (probably only couple of seconds because that's about as long as my attention span is when digging for cooking accessories) I found the bundt cake pan and thought oh this will do.

Wrong o'! It won't do. After the cake had been cooking for a while I got to smelling this burned smell... i stirred the soup because I thought I was burning it, but it didn't act burned. It took about - no time at all - to think about the cake. The thought had crossed my mind that maybe it wouldnt fit in that pan because the regular pan i use for those kinds of cakes is alot bigger... but I thought for sure we could make due with this one. The other one is probably still boxed up - somewhere. I opened the oven door to see this (above). The biggest dump of mess... and the worst burnt smell. I threw a cookie sheet underneath it to catch what was left to overflow and left it to cook.

The final product (not the extra crunchies on the oven door, racks and bottom) turned out pretty good. The cake is great with the strawberries....

This weekend will be my first experience with Easy Off oven cleaner. I hope the stuff works... or i'll either a) have to call mom to come over to help or b) buy a new oven :)

All Choked Up

With crystal clarity I have come to acknowledge the foolishness of embellishing one’s condition as irony will soon follow on the red stiletto heels of extreme exaggeration. And indeed it has. Much like a house of cards, things quickly headed downhill this morning when I attempted (and that is the key word here) to alleviate my wretched symptoms by swallowing cold medicine in pill form swiped from Student Services. While I am aware of my skittishness in downing jumbo cylinders, I have rarely experienced a problem will regular-sized ones. After getting the first one down I proceeded to completely choke on the second rascal sending a spewing fountain of drenching water splashing in all directions. Loud, gasping, animal-like noises launched the paramedics (aka my dept) who raced to my rescue and lined up in hasty formation in preparation for beginning the Heimlech maneuver. My airway was not completely obstructed and though partially stuck, I waved assistance away as I struggled to aid in the pill’s treacherous journey down my unwilling esophagus. I tried drinking more water but was only able to take tiny sips as this tablet was in no hurry to reach its proper destination. After several minutes, it reluctantly crossed the finish line, leaving me shaking and distraught. Though concluding with a happy ending, I later discovered I had also sprayed my keyboard with an ominous stream. Rather than focusing on a rarely used, extraneous key like the 'tilde' or something, it headed straight for the spacebar. So besides scaring my fellow workers half to death and having my keyboard replaced, I now have an extremely sore throat which wasn’t helped by eating the thick, sticky peanut butter sandwich I brought for lunch.

When explaining my distressful dilemma to an empathetic comrade who missed the commotion, he showed great caring, concern and support, and suggestively demonstrated amusing and innovative measures that would assist me in overcoming this constricted throat problem. Thanks darlin, I just may take you up on it when you least expect it. ;)

And in conclusion, I prepared an important FedEx letter only to realize I had forgotten to add the cover page. Jumping up from my seat, I scurried to the lobby desk, grabbed the parcel and ripped it open to discover to my horror it was not my document but one originating from the finance office. Under the gun, I quickly made two new ship requests and while dear Ray impatiently waited on Ms Circe, I again attempted processing…only to be given a date error by the obstinate machine. Trying not to panic, I redid the current date, dispensation was completed, and the crucial bundles placed in Mr. FedEx’s competent hands. I shudder to think what trials still await me before day’s end. I need a drink!

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Jessica to keep Quiet!

On my way to work this morning I heard a little blip about how Jessica Simpson is ordered to not talk about her new album... then the radio siren said 'its not what you think', but I didn't get to hear what it was because I was at work and as normal... I was pushing the clock and needed to get inside.

I found it... she's lost her voice. That's it!!? I thought it was something - but its nothing.

Yesterday, on the same morning show, they had Nick Lachey call in and do an interview. That guy is so sweet and seems half way smart and he's done so much better without Ms Botox Simpson. Sending her packing has done him a world of good... then the thought crossed my mind: Jessica Simpson would be a good match for ol Kevin Federline. *giggle giggle*

Rhinestone Alcoholism

First I wanted to let you know I was at the tippy top of death’s doorstep this past weekend. Er, ok fine, actually I’ve been experiencing a nasty cold. This is my first and hopefully last snifflefest for the season. Though far from fatal, its symptoms certainly make for a miserable existence until the dreary course is run and the victim left to pick up the shattered pieces of their miserable existence. (Circe = Drama Queen)

Thanks to my untold suffering, I was unable to go boating or attend the Wichita Flight Festival this past weekend. Much as I would have loved to have gone, the real drawing card wasn’t present so I stoically dealt with the hand life gave me. Maybe next year…

I read where my No. 1 Snooky Wookums will be heading to Buckeye country in his quest for unfettered truth and the American way. We shall have to stay tuned.

The’s 5 Sequels to "Snakes on a Plane"

5> "Pee Wee's Big Snake Adventure": Pee Wee Herman Saves the day when a spitting cobra rears its ugly head in a theater.

4> "Must Love Snakes": A thinly disguised soft porn flick about a pizza delivery/escort service/pet store operation run by handsome gigolos. Ron Jeremy portrays all of the snakes.

3> "Snakes in a Skank on a Plane": Britney Spears stars as a young woman with a unique plan for smuggling rare reptiles.

2> "Asp Good as It Gets": Cantankerous Jack Nicholson's back, this time grousing about having to keep an eye on his gay neighbor's pink serpent -- *and* his pet snake!

1> "Snails on a Train": There's this train, see, in France....

I finally utilized my Cingular Rebate card while filling the cavernous, yawning jaws of my darling GP at noon. Normally I like to quickly slip my card through the slot and hurry on my merry way but this time I went inside to ensure the smooth operation of this unusual transaction. All went well and I even had a guy in line graciously offer to pay for the filling of my tank! I politely declined as I felt certain something else might be wanted in 'trade' had I naively acquiesced. ;)

Once again the spammers who enjoy filling my work email have resourcefully resorted to some startling subject lines in their hope to lure the unwary into blindly tripping headfirst into their malevolent, baited traps. “Rhinestone alcoholism” was probably the most fascinating followed by “petrificate your manhood.” I wonder if that’s anything like petrify? In any case, I don’t have a 'manhood' to try that on and even if I did, it sounds positively painful!

Have a trippin Tuesday,

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Mexican Bar B Q

This past saturday was my sister and brother-n-law's annual Mexican Bar-B-Q... which for the first time in EVER that it was threatened by rain! It hasn't rained all summer - except for the little bit of rain we've gotten here in the past week - until friday night and saturday, and it clouded up and decided to rain and throw some lightning spears around. It actually was really nice... because had it not rained, it would have been sweltering hot so we were happy with the droplets of water. Mark grilled for hours and finally about 10:30pm we had slabs of ribs, grilled chicken and beef to make fajitas and all kinds of extra fixin's. Not to mention the countless drink concoctions going on in the kitchen. I kept everyone's glasses full of margaritas, strawberry and peach daiquiri's and Mark had wine taste testing. Someone brought smoked Halibut dip which was a favorite of yours truly!