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Pee of sumyoung guy

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Roger playin pool. Tryin to win us the table.

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My buddy wendy

Introductions

This is my friend from waaaaaaay back. Michelle. We had a common interest.... her brother. Even though that deal didnt work out - thru all these years we've maintained a buddy-ship. Today she sends me an email with this picture attached. She explains in the email that they had a power outage and it had gotten pretty hot and in this picture she is looking all gnarly (along with the cat). She's always been a beauty queen... so I couldnt imagine her looking bad. So, I open the picture and here she sits looking as good as ever!

So, here's Michelle looking like her bad self. ;)

Snaggletooth

My usual cohorts were MIA at noon today leaving me and the new guy/student to stick it out in the grueling gym. He’s not bad looking but when he smiled and spoke to me I fought back the urge to gasp in horror. There is something drastically wrong when you are that young and missing several front teeth. Oh my!

Cancer June 22 - July 22
Remember: While volunteering to remove your shoes before entering a friend's apartment is indeed polite, volunteering to remove your shirt, pants, and undergarments is anything but.

The Topfive.com’s Web Acronyms We'd Like to See

5> SIYW: Surprise! I'm your *WIFE*!

4> GGMHWTV: Gotta go, Mom's here with the vacuum.

3> LOTSMKPFGM: Logging off to sell my kid's plasma for gas money.

2> AIIOMGSTV: "American Idol" is on -- must go shoot television.

1> MDSYMSCAMANHH2YHWALS: My dad saw your MySpace comment about me and now he's headed to your house with a loaded shotgun. (hahahha! Myspace…RME)

Aquarius January 20 - February 18
Frustrations will boil over and lead to unexpected aggression,when, for the third straight night, your 6-year-old son—the rude little bastard—falls asleep right in the middle of your bedtime story.

Don’t you just hate when the wee ones pull this boorish stunt? ;)

Ciao darlings!

Rain, Rain.... come back

I can't believe not one drop of rain fell on us last night. The clouds have skirted all around us... teasing us with the hint that maybe it might start raining at any moment. It was even cooler than usual this morning when I headed out for work. But as of right now.... lunch time.... it still hasn't rained.

I talked to Aaron this morning and he said it rained on him all the way from Tulsa to Okmulgee. We didn't get any of it...

We had a brown-out though. If that counts for anything.

Our History is back!

Our previous site, Metalfly, went belly up on our Blogiversary in July due to some ^@#^&!@%#!*% excuse made by the hosting site... but after much work, we've got the data back and with a new domain name.

You can see the old Metalfly at http://www.offthetop.us/

We're still tweeking.

Thanks for getting the goods back, Richard... you rock!

Punch This

My sis and I went to a kickboxing class tonite. Its not the same one I went to a month or so ago. This is a new one. I showed up to class on time and they had already started. I walked in and the room is full of people running about. One half is running from wall to wall... the other is doing jumping jacks. I spy sis and she (very breathy) whispers... run! I just stood there... what? She repeats... run!!! I threw my stuff on the floor and I hear, from some faint voice up front, join us in the front. I turn and the leader chick of this class is the cute little oriental/white chick! Again, Grant would love to be in my shoes. She's built like a shit brickhouse with the cutest little sparkling personality. She isnt a tiny little 'oh my gosh i might break her' girl... she's got some meat/muscle on her. Looks totally awesome.

I ran up front and started in on my jumping jacks... then she screams 'switch!' We all rotate and I find myself running those laps. This was just the warmup.

We kicked and punched and kicked to front, side and back, punched some more. I had sweat dripping in my eyes and sweaty nasty hair flinging about. She then instructs us to put our boxing gloves on and position ourselves with our punching bags. I noticed this faint smell of... ass. I wasnt sure if someone farted or if someone had on moldy clothes or what... but I didnt want to make a scene 'oh my gawd! what is that rank smell!' So I followed suit and began punching and kicking the bag. I pictured different people I'd like to be standing in front of me as I punched... I looked over at my sis and just smiled and said "you remember that time when we were young and you put your jolly rancher on my alarm clock?!"... then i punched. HARD. That was a great workout!

Off with the gloves... then I could smell ass even more! I lifted my hands and took a sniff. ASS! Its all over my hands! I stuck my hands in ass-gloves! My stomach churned. I leaned over to sis and asked her if her hands smell. Certainly... I bet we all did. It was like I had put nasty sweaty athletic shoes on my hands. I had Athletes Hands! Smelly, nasty, sweaty, ass hands. As soon as this class was over I made a bee-line for the bathroom and coated them in the industrial strength antibacterial soap.

That is nasty! It was like someone had taken a poo and I wiped their ass with my hand. Using NO toilet paper! ugh! There has got to be a better plan for that... I guess I might need to invest in my own boxing gloves.

Grant: Another one I'll try to get her picture, website, phone number... something for you. She's really sweet...

Foxy Roxi

Being a supportive Browns backer finds me on the receiving end of their peppy email newsletter. In a recent issue was a photo of a gal in a southern state receiving some Browns-related commemorative coin. What caught my eye and caused further speculation was not the innocuous picture staring back at me but the somewhat unusual hyphenated surname. Oh. My. God! I gazed intently at the image. Surely there couldn’t be two Roxanne’s with this specific maiden name who just happened to be enthusiastic fans? I squinted harder to enhance visualizing the sixth grade girl I knew who had morphed into this adult stranger, if indeed it was her.

Roxanne was a natural-born leader with a talent for jump-starting anything fresh or innovative in our studious class of sixth grade overachievers. Not only was she bright and intelligent, she also flashed a winning smile and bubbled over with perky, contagious enthusiasm. "Miss Cutting Edge" was the first girl in our class to wear a bra, which caused a panicked stampede to the department store for hasty purchases of training bras (whether we needed them or not) from all her devoted followers. Besides beginning the hooter(less) holder craze, she was also famous for her intimate boy/girl parties in the low-lit confines of her sheltered basement. Slow dancing with nervous males would come in handy later when practicing coed interpersonal relationships, but at that innocent time it was a matter of enjoying the swaying nearness of Andy or Cole as we moved in tandem to the lilting music. Occasionally a cozy couple would glide to a darkened corner to collect stolen kisses in the unobtrusive shadows.

Our close friendship ended with the close of our last primary school year. We moved in different circles with the advent of the next higher step in the educational process. I suppose we blindly passed each other in the halls but the camaraderie we shared in elementary school was long forgotten. After my email discovery, I dug out my dusty yearbook to remember the brown-eyed, freckled cutie of my Buckeye past. A coveted (not by me I assure you) leadership office allowed her, along with adorable Andy, clever Cole, and two other gals whose names escape me, to grace the cover as their smiling visages welcome all to our slice of junior high heaven. Her Cleveland reign abruptly ends with that institution as she disappeared off the radar by the beginning of high school. I assume she moved. Though a yawning gulf separates us by years and geography, Roxi and I unite in spirit as we cheer on our beloved home team. :)


This is the kind of headline a person just dreads seeing:
"4 Penguins Perish in Freak Texas Truck Accident"

Is there no justice in this world??? Just look at this sweet wittle face…
Just saying. ;)

Word of the Day

I think the German word for pregnant is bedeutungsvoll

Someone told me it was schwanger.....

I dont think so.

Ohhh, Drummer Boy!

To help explain my multimedia message from last night...

Richard and I headed up to Baker Street Pub & Grill for Battle of the Bands. The place was packed as everyone prepared for the bands to battle it out. The winner of this battle gets to go on to Arlington for the finals (I think... kind of got lost in all the announcements).

Drummers are H O T!

The first band took stage (the picture I sent to blogger) and I noted that the drummer was hot (informed Richard.... who curled his eyebrow at me and took a drink). I also watched the lead singer... he reminded me of someone but I couldnt place it. But then it came to me - he reminded me of a 'Vladimir'. I again informed Richard of the guys new name, Vladimir, and that the drummer was hot. I think at this time I received a roll of the eyes and some comment.

At the break, we talked about getting a set of drums and C taking lessons and how drummers are H O T!

The second band takes the stage (Luma I believe was the band name)... and they were rocking! The drummer... not so striking... but the lead singer reminded me of someone. I thought and thought... and at one moment, while he was making out with the microphone, I got it! Bono! U2! That's who he reminded me of. I (of course) have to let Richard know of my findings.... drummer dude not as H O T as the first one, but the lead singer now has a name too! I think there was conversation exchanged between us, but I'm not sure as I was having to read lips - music was too loud. For all I know, he was making comments about the hot waitress... whatever it was I was smiling and agreeing. hahahaha... (she was a cutie patootie).

During Luma's performance I turned and sang It's gettin Hot in Herrre, lets take off all our clothes... haha not really, but I should have. It was hot in the room... it was asses to elbows at that point and very late. So, we tabbed and headed out. We totally missed the third band, so i'm not sure who won and is moving on... but good luck to whoever!

Note: I love you, Richard... you are my best friend. I'm so happy to have you as my husband and my run around buddy that I can share everything with... even down to my 'H O T' comments. *kisses*

Insomniac

Greetings gang and welcome to Wishful Wednesday. I don’t know how many of you are like me but I suffer from a degree of chronic insomnia and have for as long as I can remember. Lately it’s gotten worse. Ever since carefree childhood, that selective sandman has eluded me for 30 minutes minimum and more often than not, a prolonged, interminable hour. Many are the nights I toss and turn for lengthier increments as I vainly try to locate the 'off switch' to my busy brain. Yes, I’m an avid and relentless deliberator and have frequently been informed I ‘think too much’ (and you know who you are :P). Unfortunately, bedtime is usually my first chance to review/mull/ruminate over the current day/future plans/thorny problems and my mind starts furiously clicking away at the most inopportune moments. Boring reading occasionally proves helpful and I have found Jane Austen’s collection of works to be the most snooze-friendly (sorry Jane). But the more usual method resorted to is medicating myself, reluctantly traveling that precarious pill route. Guess one has to do what one has to do…

Our favorite unkempt, scraggly-haired electrician is on campus today in preparation for a city-wide power outage arranged for tonight. He popped his head around the corner and proceeded to regale Grand Poobah and me with totally inappropriate humorous answers to a factual questionnaire. He is a total mess but we like him. When Esteemed Colleague was employed here, Mr. GQ had quite the crush on her and would vainly entice her to his dating lair. She stubbornly resisted those unsolicited attempts much to his chagrin. Ah well, a better man was in store for our lovely KerrBear. :)

And finally, klutzy Circe managed to send her full cup of wakeup juice flying across her peripheral computer desk thus giving various objects an early morning invigorating shower. It could have been much worse as the keyboard and preshus pricey cellphone were spared the caffeine drenching. GFR then proceeded to imitate your humble IT frontwoman in a show of empathetic solidarity. Thanks babe!

The Topfive.com’s 15 "Star Wars" Euphemisms for Masturbation

15> Shooting Womprats in Beggar's Canyon

14> Grooming the Wookie

13> Making the Kessel Run

12> Polishing Vader's Helmet

11> Evacuating Tatooine

10> Unsheathing the Meatsaber

9> Releasing the Special Edition

8> Jumping to Delight Speed

7> Communicating with Red Leader One

6> Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo

5> Tinkering With the R2 Unit

4> Manually Targeting the Rebel Base

3> Performing the Jedi Hand Trick

2> Scratching Yoda Behind the Ears

1> Test Firing the Death Star

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One of the bands at Bakers

Gas Prices

That ain't no shiznit!

One last thing

oh.... and another thing! I want all of our pictures back! We'd posted tons of pics to share... and we need those albums back.

*hint hint* I know he has a backup....

No, Chang You

One thing I do miss about us being on Metalfly was that Richard had just set us up so we could do reviews. Movie reviews, restaurant reviews, wine reviews... whatever we desired and the entry would show with a little ditty to make it unique. Was kind of fun. Here... it's plain vanilla until we get some time to tweek it a little.

I just drove by P.F. Chang's a few minutes ago... every time I drive by I think "blah". It's not that great... not very good... nothing to write home about. The atmosphere reminded us of The Elephant Bar (really good food and great mixed drinks with a ton of beers on tap) which is loud and dark. I'd much rather get chinese food in the food court at the mall. I really don't understand why the parking lot is full all the time.... I think people are parking there and walking to the other restaurants in the area. The one cool thing was the booths... oversized and really comfy if you are with a large party. Otherwise... No, Thank You! I'll grab a sandwich.

Perspiration Station

Though coming to work at 8 am was a welcome blessing, discovering the AC outage suffered by another building now includes our distinguished hallways was not the way to initiate the work week. This will result in a bitchy, perspiring staff before a heating and air specialist arrives this sweltering afternoon to alleviate the problem. I would wear a long-sleeved suit ensemble today. *sigh* I just heard student workers in the hallway loudly protesting this untenable state of affairs so this should prove to be one noteworthy Monday. I noticed one of our 'distinguished' faculty is helping in registrars today and is sporting a yellow sticky note nametag with his name scrawled on it. We are nothing if not professional. :)

Restaurant Revue
This past Saturday evening found TBC, me, sis, and brother-in-law sampling the gastronomic delights of a newly opened/renovated restaurant. This establishment was formerly a rowdy club with a somewhat morally tarnished reputation (and a snide alternate moniker). It was darn near impossible to keep the flashbacks at bay as I gazed around the section once housing the throbbing, gyrating dance floor. Though my immaculate reputation remained unsullied, I do vividly recall the night I pounced upon unsuspecting guys as they emerged from the lavatory requesting a spot on their dance card (never received a reply in the negative). One evening I went on a ‘country’ night and received dance lessons from some gracious, polite, accommodating cowboys. Oh the memories… ;)

TBC made for a lively dinner companion having tied one on prior to our dining experience and regaled us and nearby diners with loudly related, wince-inducing tales of all kinds of crap. Though a serviceable nightclub, I cannot recommend this locale as an eatery. Basically, the service was slow, the food cold or undercooked, and the prices too high for the quality and aggravation suffered. Next!

My sis-in-law was in town recently for a high school reunion leaving this a fitting finale:

The Topfive.com’s 5 Signs Your High School Reunion Is Going Badly

5. Although it sounds loftier, "Food Service Boiler Operations Chief" is just Wendy's-speak for "French Fry Guy."

4. The bar is run by the lunch ladies and the only drinks are Salisbury-steak coladas, sloppy Joe-tinis, and fish-stick sours.

3. Your toupee falls off while dancing to Foghat.

2. Your wife finds out from your former FFA buddies that your "little problem playing the ponies" didn't have anything to do with gambling after all.

1. All the guys keep hitting you up for lap dances--on your night off!

Friends From all Over

Yesterday afternoon, Richard and I joined a group of friends at Toby Keith's I love This Bar & Grill to listen to and support a fellow mate who was performing on the patio. Facing the blistering sun and heat, we sipped on drinks, jabbered and sang along to his version of today's, and yesterday's, famous tunes. Did I mention it was flippin' hot!? Good grief it was sweltering. He played and sang for three hours... and with each ticking minute, the sun bared down on him more and more. The patio became less 'covered' as the sun shone in the side. Gradually everyone began migrating to the other end of the patio to try to capture a few minutes of shade before the sun found them again. Sun shades. All I gotta say... they make them for patios ya know!

When the tunes ended, we skipped off to join Sunny and Teresa at Maker's for more refreshments and music... in the cool refreshing air conditioner. We chilled there for a few hours before I received a phone call from Tiff... she was in town for a Bachelorette party and wanted us to join! whoohoo!

We all tabbed out and headed for CityWalks. Because Richard and I didn't really dress for clubbing we were convinced we wouldn't get past the door. However, it just so happened that I dressed in my cute little tight t-shirt that says 'Constant Supervision Required' and the shortest little white shorts... which showed my neverending tan legs at their sexiest best! When confronted by the bouncer - requesting our ID's - he immediately noticed my, ummm, shirt. Then he turned to make a comment to the other bouncer... about my shirt. So we stood and giggled and chatted about the phrase... and how much 'trouble' I can get into. They paid no attention to our attire, but just turned to Richard and said 'very nice!' and waved us on in. haha

Once in the club, we had to find Tiff. Its a club with 7 different clubs under one roof... so she could be anywhere. Thanks to cell phone technology... text messaging I mean... we were able to locate the blonde bombshell in minutes. Just like old times, Tiff and I danced our booties off... and managed to attract several men to join us ;) Good Times! Oh yeah.... and really good times in that dark little room located just off the dance floor.... i'd love to see the pictures someone has on their digital camera that we all took. *snicker*

Paris.... Paris.... tell us another funny...

"I'm not having sex for a year. ... I'll kiss, but nothing else," says Hilton, who told the magazine she has had sex with only two men during her lifetime.

WHATEVER! She's full of doo-doo!