Life on Tour

Yesterday after work Richard and I visited the 4th daycare center in our World Wind Tour of Baby Centers 2007.

I ‘heard’ that we should start looking early here because most daycares have waiting lists for newborns. So last week we started the daunting task of touring, questioning, drilling, interviewing, smelling and signing up at daycares. The center last night (#3 which we really liked) said they’ve had parents wait up to a year before to get a newborn in! Oh my….

Center #1 We liked. Kind of. To me it seemed a bit dirty but it might have been because it was a little older and their equipment seemed dated a bit. However, they did give us a grand tour and were very open with information and their policies and procedures. I did like how they have a daily checklist of what occurs with baby and each day they send it home so you are aware of what they ate, how much they slept and how many potties and poopies they did. We got on the list.

Center #2 GAG A MAGGOT. First of all, I hated the parking lot. If we go there, i’ll suffer from parking lot rage and be in counseling for the next 12 years trying to recover. Secondly, little Director Lady walked us in the infant room and said ‘here’s our infant room’. That’s it. No big grand tour, no explanation of daily activities or curriculum. Nothing. She offered nothing… we had to quiz her for information. Plus the place was small.. it seemed congested. Clean, but really congested. Plus they charged quite a bit more than center #1 and offered less. PLUS i didn’t like their parking lot. PLUS you had to pay $60 to even sit on their waiting list. I dont think so. They aren’t that special. I still don’t like their parking lot.

Center #3 we loved! Its actually the same daycare company as Center #1, but at a different location. It was very clean and spacious and Daycare Director Lady was very helpful and informative. They charge a truckload more for a newborn (up to 12 months), but they seemed very organized and clean and all the employees seemed clean and nice and clean. The setup was the same as Center #1 except the Infant to Teacher ratio was better. 4:1 here as compared to 6:1 at Center #1. Clean is important.

Center #4 we saw last night. It's a bit of a drive from our house - compared to the other centers, but we thought we'd check it out because if it's 'the one' then we'll drive the distance. Before we even entered the building... something was stenchy. It was either poop or vomit, or a combination of the two. I couldn't quite put my finger on it.... and Richard seemed to think it also had a bleachy smell. So they were cleaning up something. BLAH. The center seemed nice and the girl giving us the tour was really informative and helpful. However, (how do i put this nicely) the employees seemed... a little rough around the edges. Nice enough? It just wasn't my top pick. However, they had been picked by our school district to have a Pre-K program and so we knew from that, it had passed all kinds of inspections and hadn't been in any kind of trouble. I think the jury is still out on this one. It would work if we need it to, but we still prefer #3.

My very favorite childcare person is in Chickasha… I can’t drive that far… so maybe I could get her to move here!??! Can ya, Jackie!? Please!?!? Can ya, can ya.. huh!??! huh!??!!? *beggin*

Cops 'n Cooters

Yesterday during the half hour drive home I observed not one but two vehicles in the act of being pulled over by the boyz in blue for what I’m assuming were speeding violations. Just as I left the college, a van heading the other way was stopped by a town cop who whipped around and flashed his lights. Further down the highway, I observed the little white car right behind me obediently pull over to the side when the hypo trailing him demanded obeisance. *cue foreshadowing music* Today I took extra measures with my morning toilette as I have my annual cooter checkup (oh joy) today and as a result, I was running behind schedule. As I flew down the highway I relived vivid flashbacks of an uncomfortable incident in the lounge yesterday morning when I stood waiting for the microwave to finish heating my water. A fellow worker bee walked in, sunglasses on, bag in tow, obviously very late for work. (Yes, it’s tough to make it here at 7am but by god missy, it was 7:30!) With exquisite timing Grand Exalted Poobah picked that precise moment to get a cup of joe and it was obvious he knew darn well she had just arrived by that telltale look of displeasure on his face. Not wanting a repeat of that tardiness episode, I put the pedal to the metal as I raced to work. As luck would have it, there laying in wait to ambush the unwary was MrTownCopFromYesterday sneakily ready to pounce on the unsuspecting Mz Circe as she zipped down the home stretch! I waffled between laughing and crying but went with my ‘honestly is the best policy’ feeling and told him exactly why I was in such a hurry, sparing no detail. My refreshing truthfulness was rewarded as he let me go scott free. And I barely escaped getting caught by GEP. Just barely. Whew!

"Kentucky DMV Introduces Game of Chicken to Driver's Test"

LOUISVILLE, KY— The Kentucky Department of Motor Vehicles announced yesterday that the game of chicken will be added to the state's driver's-license road test, testing prospective motorists' ability to drive directly towards one another at an accelerating speed.

"We want to make sure new drivers can handle everyday Kentucky driving scenarios," said DMV spokesman Marty Kerta

The state's test is already one of the most challenging in the nation, requiring Kentuckians to drive through stop signs, hurtle into police roadblocks, achieve at least two seconds of airborne status, and do donuts.

"If we have drivers on the road lacking these vital chicken skills, something terrible could happen—like, for instance, someone swerving away at the last second like a giant pussy," Kerta said.

Of course that news item was a complete fabrication (I think) unlike this very real Okiedokieville one boldly proclaimed in my town’s paper last week:

Stolen Legs Are Recovered

OC deputies conducting a search warrant Thursday night stumbled upon a pair of stolen prosthetic legs at a residence in the 9500 block of --- Road.

C.C., OC Sheriff's Department Investigator, said 23-year-old --- is facing charges of knowingly concealing stolen property and drug charges.

The legs and two video games were reported stolen from 19-year-old --- in April.

C. said that the legs are in the custody of the OC Sheriff's Department.

Just your basic, humdrum, run-of-the-mill thievery going on here gang!

People are SO Stupid!

You have got to be flippin' kidding me!!!!?!?!!

Rosie is in the running for the new host of The Price is Right!?

What are these people thinking? Did they NOT just watch the whole fiasco on The View this past year? Do they have their heads in the sand (or up their butts)?!?!? She is now slamming Barbara Walters on her precious blog.... after Barbara has defended her foul mouth all these months! Rosie is a wench! I will never watch The Price is Right again!

I never watched it anyways....

And... to make matters worse...

Chili's - Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie
(1,600 calories, 78g fat, 950mg sodium, 215g carbs, 6g fiber, 19g protein)

We're not gonna lie: This buttery, sweet, multi-layered bar topped with vanilla ice cream and more tastes insanely good. But even if you split it with a pal, you're still gonna be inhaling 800 calories and nearly 40 grams of fat! Yikes! If you've gotta have a sweet fix while chillin' at Chili's, order a side of their gooey and dessert-y Cinnamon Apples (210 calories, 8g fat). Just a fun little tip from HG... Wheeee!

Paradise Pie is my alltime favorite!!!

BFF Bites!

Many of us loathe this overused term and with good reason. It is an exceptional few that experience the joys of keeping a long-running friendship alive and well as the road is often lined with perils and pitfalls. Thanks to imperfect human nature, cracks and fissures eventually develop between ourselves and those with whom we share considerable time and emotional closeness resulting in a shifting of balance. Unfortunately, this alteration rarely happens at precisely the same time for those involved and someone (read: you) gets badly hurt. My three personal pitf.., I mean ‘special friendships’ of yesteryear were with Annie, Cathy and my sister-in-law, Susan and started at the auspicious age of 4.

Annie was also 4 and lived on my street and though specifics are lost to misty memory, I do recall many happy hours playing with dolls together in my back yard. At any rate, we became best friends. *cue sappy music* Her BFF status came to a screeching halt when her family decided to locate elsewhere. (It’s darn near impossible for 4-year-olds to stay in touch). I still remember the day she brought by her autograph book for me to put pen (or crayon) to paper and express my unending devotion when I happened to glance at adjacent pages. Imagine my shock and dismay when I spied the moniker under the heading “Best Friend.” Yes, dear gang, it was not your humble servant but rather the devious little minx, Joanne, who succeeded in stealing my closest companion AND my starter boyfriend!!! My little heart was ripped to shreds in my undeveloped chest after discovering this callous betrayal. Years passed and though my locale changed, my luck in the "bestest buds" department remained dismally consistent.

In my early 20s I met cute, vibrant, sassy, fun-loving Cathy through her sister-in-law and we hit it off big-time. All went swimmingly for several years until she met Mr Wonderful who arbitrarily decided I lacked the lofty scruples and high caliber moral fiber needed to continue a female alliance with his newly wedded bride. As I was now deemed an unsuitable companion, she swiftly cut all ties and I was left to drift away in the passing current as they waved in unison from the marital shore. The happy, attached-at-the-hip couple eventually moved away and though I still occasionally see her when she visits relatives, we limit our chats to brief, meaningless pleasantries.

Time passed and with amnesia clouding my spotty memory, I tripped headfirst into the BFF lair of TBC’s younger sister, Susan. We whiled away many pleasant hours at the swimming beach, downing brews, soaking up the sun and showing off our svelte bodies. Invariably, we took turns one-upping each other in the saucy retort department. She also moved away (I’m detecting a pattern here) and six months later married a guy in her apt. complex. This time the addition of a spouse had few repercussions as our congenial friendship continued unabated albeit distantly. Being related didn’t hurt either. Several times I drove up to visit and we laughed, relaxed and caught up on news. Our unforeseen parting of ways occurred in a most unusual manner. One weekend she was down visiting and TBC and I included her in a trip to see my sis who was then living in a neighboring town. I offhandedly made a remark about an article I had read in a popular magazine when she haughtily and disdainfully informed all present that she never read that offensive publication. Excuse me? This 180 degree turn must have been of recent origin as she was far from a paragon of virtue and was well acquainted with said journal. Icy silence engulfed the return trip home. Apparently this minor disagreement was just the tip of the proverbial iceberg as a massive cataclysmic upheaval in relations resulted. She returned home to MIL and let volley a barrage of invectives cataloging endless real and imagined grievances against yours truly which then snowballed into an even larger firestorm of epic proportions with MIL! The excessive fallout was irreparable with both and though things were partially patched up by the time MIL died, things never returned to the easygoing camaraderie we once enjoyed. Long divorced from her spouse, Susan still resides in her adopted city, rarely darkening Okieland’s door. The few times we have spoken in the intervening years, the tenacious chip remains solidly affixed to her stubborn shoulder. And it all started over a silly magazine that even I quit reading eons ago. Amazing. Needless to say, I have staunchly sworn off BFFs for good and with understandable reason. I do hope your experiences have proved far less toxic than mine but promise me you will periodically check your vulnerable back for those telltale stab marks because truly, being forewarned is forearmed, right? Live and learn.

Let There Be Light!

I'm getting new kitchen lights today! The electrician (and his little helper guy) is here putting in 6 new lights - so I can finally see over the sink and around all the counters! yipppeeee!

They make me nervous though... I sat and listened to them "get on the same page" as to where the lights go and how they were going to "go about this". I was so praying they wouldnt accidentally cut a hole where they really didn't want one. So far, so good. I went in to supervise once... and they told me they had it under control. Translation: go back to what you were doing lady. hahaha

I hear some little clanks and clatters - what sounds like lights going in. I'm scared to check.

Hostile Work Environment

The morning got off to a bumpy start with a power outage shortly after arriving at work. For approximately one hour the city worked through their ‘energy issues’ as we worker drones sat tight and pondered our next move. Snacks came out of hiding as in the spirit of camaraderie we shared our goodies. "Sunshine” and I decided to take advantage of our lack of productivity by enjoying a short, brisk walk outside. After the power blipped back on and the computers and phones revived, we were good to go until lunchtime. Just now as I sat hunched over my desk feverishly worki.., er, um, gazing off into space quietly contemplating the long summer afternoon, I heard horrendous, headache-inducing drilling just outside my door. Quickly closed to prevent further acute hearing loss I now ponder the efficacy of throwing ear protectors into my overstuffed tote tomorrow. My vacation days aren’t going to arrive soon enough. :)

Birthday Bash

Saturday, Richard and I headed north to my hometown where we were meeting up with a group of our friends to have a little suprise birthday dinner for another one of our friends. Laura had called me on Monday of last week and wanted to get everyone together in the city so we could all go out... but Kelly and I had already made plans to surprise Laura this weekend with everyone getting together for her birthday. So.... I had to come up with some story as to why it wouldnt be good for us to get together last week... and "maybe this next week will work better"... so that her birthday surprise would be so much more meaningful and fun! it all worked out.

Richard and I got to the pub early with her balloon bouquet and Princess party hat.
I tried the hat on while we waited....

Laura was in complete shock when she walked in. Kelly told her they were going out to eat... but just those two. Laura was sooo excited! I think you can tell by the picture.

Everyone eating, drinking and swapping crazy stories!

One happy threesome. Richard, me and Brad.

We had the waitress take a group picture before we left. We dont get together as much anymore... so we wanted this keepsake!