Friday, September 22, 2006

Moments in the Sand

I wish i was still on the beach..

I hope to get more pictures up this weekend. It has been a really busy couple days at work and even busier when I get home, so maybe this weekend I can get some of our Miami pictures up. I think Richard will be putting all of them in our Album on our momma site.

Erotic Lustfulness

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

New liquor warning labels:

The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
over again that you love them.
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked

(thanks Patrick!)

Have a fabulous fall weekend!
circe ;)

Thursday, September 21, 2006

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Heading your way Tulsa

Rainy Day Randoms

Charlie Sheen Wants To Finish Career As A Cleveland Indian

Man Bites Panda in Beijing Zoo as Retribution
BEIJING - A drunken Chinese migrant worker jumped into a panda enclosure at the Beijing Zoo, was bitten by the bear and retaliated by chomping down on the animal’s back, state media said Wednesday. Zhang Xinyan, from the central province of Henan, drank four jugs of beer at a restaurant near the zoo before visiting Gu Gu the panda on Tuesday, the Beijing Morning Post said.

“He felt a sudden urge to touch the panda with his hand,” and jumped into the enclosure, the newspaper said. The panda, who was asleep, was startled and bit Zhang, 35, on the right leg, it said. Zhang got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued, the paper said.

The’s 5 Cartoon Character Pick-Up Lines

5> Porky Pig -- "L-L-Let's go back to my place and f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fu-f-f-fu... hump."

4> Popeye -- "I'm strong to the finish 'cause I takes Viagra!"

3> Pinocchio -- "Hey, I *am* a woody!"

2> Underdog -- "My heart is for you, my Polly, dear; You are pure and true, can I sniff your rear?"

1> Tweety Bird -- "I wuuuv to eat putty!"

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
You used to think of yourself as your own harshest critic; sadly, it's becoming increasingly clear that you're fucking pathetic at that, too.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Dear Barbie,

Yesterday, we once again shared a noontime workout at the gym. Your preferred equipment seems to be the elliptical trainer and stationary bike, thereby lessening the chance of any unwanted eye contact. I am pretty sure you don’t know who I am but I do have the skinny on the notorious Ms Barbie as it can be difficult to avoid Podunkville’s gossip mill. I can understand your concern with getting your hourglass figure whipped back into shape what with having a baby and all. Sure, you’re still very young and there is no doubt your skin retains an abundance of collagen and elasticity enabling it to snap right back into place with minimal effort, but bearing a child can do a real number on a woman’s body. You probably can’t afford to let things start down that slippery slope to Saggyville thus giving him any reason to let his eyes wander—again. I mean, we both know what happened before. For whatever reason, she failed to hold his interest, but why put the brakes on your torrid affair? After all, it’s not like you held a gun (oh the irony) to his head and physically forced him to desert her. And you certainly deserved some flirtatious male attention after your ugly duckling phase of previous years. I’ve seen old unattractive pictures of you cuddling a sheep or pig or whatever at the county fair as you clawed your way through 4H ranks to blue ribbon bliss. But you moved past that and gloriously bloomed by college, snagging a coveted cheerleader slot and thus basking in sought after praise and hard won attention.

How you tenaciously hooked up with him is unknown to me but the solid fact is you did. Suffice to say he left her and took up with you--a younger, prettier, sexier female who triggered bragging rights, made a terrific arm ornament, and won the title of trophy wife. Today you are the proud mother of his new baby, facing adult responsibilities and the joys and sorrows that accompany that privilege. You have what she formerly had, filling the slot she vacated. But a strange thing happens when vivacious, exciting girlfriends morph into boring, sexless, vacuous wives. The permeating smell of spit up and baby poo along with the daily stress and tedium of living together wreaks havoc with romance. Screaming infants abruptly squelch romantic, candlelit dinners and cold, harsh reality seeps into every crevice of life. But at least you had a legitimate, open courtship to see you through the inevitable rough patches that accompany matrimony. Oh wait. You don’t have that to fall back on, do you? Though he left his spouse once, surely that aberration will never occur again. I mean, it’s not like it’s a pattern with him or anything, right? He’s with you, his soulmate, his dream girl, a changed man, deliriously happy and totally satisfied with the way things turned out.

Still, it wouldn’t hurt to firm up those jiggly thighs and work those flabby gluts. I mean, taking precautions with respect to ones looks is just showing caution, wisdom and foresight. No use giving him any excuse to notice a younger, newer model who would jump at the chance to take him for a test drive. You’re the one who wears his revered wedding ring and bears his honored name. No worries, right?

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He's doin nappy pooh on the beach.

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This is where we are today!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Sugar Sugar

On days when there isn’t one sweet morsel in the entire house, I have been known to head straight for the sugar bowl, or in my case, the Tupperware canister. Isn’t that weird? But I figure, what the heck, why not go right to the saccharine source and assuage this ‘sugar jones.’ Besides, it’s not like I just scoop out handfuls with my greedy fingers (I use a dainty spoon :) )

“Love’s a Bitch, Duck.”

Even though I’ve seen it numerous times and recently purchased it at discount on DVD, I am hopelessly devoted to “Pretty in Pink.” I pretty much love any John Hughes teen angst flick but I think this is my all time fav.

“Young Andie is one of the not-so-popular girls in high school. She usually hangs out with her friends Iona (Annie Potts) or Duckie (Jon Cryer). Duckie has always had a crush on her, but now she has met a new guy from school, Blane (Andrew McCarthy). He's one of the rich and popular guys but can the two worlds meet?”

The original ending to this film depicted Duckie getting the girl, however the test audiences said they would have preferred to see Blane win Andie's heart and so he does. Jon Cryer plays a funny, cute nerdy guy who upon getting shoved into the girl’s bathroom and spying a dispenser of unknown origin, loudly complains that the boys room doesn’t possess a candy machine. But as deep as Duckie’s devotion is, it’s easy to see how Andie could get the hots for vulnerable, sweet-smiling Andrew McCarthy, the ‘richy’ who tools around in a BMW. Blane’s best bud is Stef (James Spader), who Andie sees right through and treats him accordingly. On a tragic note, Alexa Kenin, who played her buddy Jena, was murdered in New York City just after making this movie (filmed in 1985), and the flick is dedicated to her memory.

Much like high school IRL, things come to a crucial climax at the prom when Andie goes solo while proudly wearing this hideously cobbled together creation she euphemistically refers to as a ‘dress.’ Nothing says sexy like a shapeless Pepto Bismo-hued burlap sack monstrosity replete with puffy sleeves and a matching cloth choker. Yikes! Blane states a painful truth to Stef when he says: “You couldn't buy her, though, that's what's killing you, isn't it? Stef? That's it, Stef. She thinks you're shit, and deep down, you know she's right.” Soon thereafter, Blane leans in and coos to Andie: “I love you. Always.” He exits the dance and Andie rushes out, flinging herself into his waiting arms as they passionately kiss in the dark, rain-slicked parking lot under the streetlamp's approving glow.

If you want to relive those teenage triangles of days gone by, run out and rent (or promptly place in your Netflix queue) this nostalgic salute to the 80s.

Rain Rain Go Away

It wouldn't be like Florida to not rain a bit every day. I've been to the sunny state many many times and yesterday was the first day that i've ever experienced an entire day with no rain. Today, was back to normal. Richard and I headed across the street for lunch in the nice hot sunshine (clouds way over there) and as we sat eating, rain started dumping. We thought we would wait for the downpour to let up, however it proved to be too time consuming as he had a meeting he had to get to. So.... we had to brave it. We had 6 lanes of traffic to cross, which means we stood and waited quite some time to get 'clearance' to paddle across (another game of Frogger).

We laughed so hard though... it would have topped it off if someone had driven by and splattered us with sheets of puddle water.

Richard hasnt made it one day without getting something on his clothes. Sunday, while on the plane, he spilled his coke on his jeans and also on the girl next to him who was napping and clueless as to what happened to her white skirt. It looked like he pee'd his pants. Monday, he got chocolate on his pants... looked like he poo'd. *giggle* Last night, he got steak sauce on his shirt - right smack dab in the middle where his belly button is. Today, he gets bar-b-q ribs for lunch and all dressed in white. I knew for sure he'd come out wearing the stuff and he almost had a mishap, but managed to save himself. He gets out of the restaurant spot free then has to hike across the street in pouring rain. He made it clear to me that this didnt count... he didnt do it. HAHAHAH

Monday, September 18, 2006

Sun Worshipping Monday

I hit the pool today. My intentions were to study for a test i'm fixing to take... however I spent the majority of my time chit chatting with other pool goers. I met a couple from New Jersey that were friendly and informative. Larry gave me some good tips on where to get the best steaks and seafood as well as wine. Tomorrow night they are headed down to South Beach to a Cuban restaurant and have invited Richard and I to join them. I'm not sure if we will... might, but I dont know. Sounds fun though!

Still Life

This weekend was the civilized art festival and though somewhat windy, the weather proved pleasant and cooperative. Our locality and surrounding area has some gifted talent and a suitable picture was purchased to hang over the bistro table. Another local artist crafts the most gorgeous pieces and often shows her skilled handiwork at Chaos College. Several years ago I bought a lovely vase she had for sale and was thrilled to see more of her excellent designs at the event. Sure enough, exquisite urns called to me from their burnished shelf and I selected a lovely piece to add to my collection. Other earthenware products I have long yearned to possess are handmade goblets. Several artists displayed them but I narrowed down my favorites and proudly purchased two medieval-looking drinking utensils. Possessions in hand, we bid farewell to this year’s fete and headed for the vehicle. Several live pics were posted Saturday afternoon to give one and all a taste of this enjoyable occasion.

Friday night we visited sis and bro-in-law and “J” decided this might be an opportune time to rummage through my petite yet overstuffed handbag to ascertain just what sisser feels compelled to lug around on a daily basis. He took great pleasure in pulling items out and remarking on them, taking particular pleasure in questioning what ‘drugs’ were contained in ambiguous cylinders. He also commented on the excessive amount of lip and eyeliners, the necessity of transporting cinnamon breath strips (I'll never tell), and just what that soft, fluffy white object was nestled in the corner? (It’s called a kleenex, J) Fortunately, all items passed this rigid inspection and nothing of a dubious, controversial nature was detected. Do I look stupid enough to carry around contraband? :) LOL

A solemn, semi-annual observance occurred this weekend as I participated in the traditional “Changing O the Box.” With mixed feelings I rummage through the unwieldy cardboard container and replace summer garments with winter attire and vice versa. Though still conformed to, the scale has been somewhat reduced thanks to the increased amount of clothing now slung across plastic hangers plus the additional use of another closet. Nevertheless, this remains a time-honored marking of the seasons in Circeville.

Today I’m on the receiving end of merciless harassment thanks to my team once again getting its butt kicked this past Sunday. To add insult to injury, my FFB team lost also. No place to go but up, eh?

Pisces February 19 - March 20

Even after having spent 25 years as a geologist, you still freeze up every time you meet someone at a party and they ask you which is your favorite stratum of the earth's crust.

Some Sites

Last night we headed to South Beach to check out the happenings - and oh my, there were happenings. Its wild and crazy. Clothing is optional and size doesnt matter. While having drinks and grabbing a bite to eat at Wet Willie's some crap started going down across the street and people came out of nowhere to watch, the police showed up and it was the craziest scene. Some girl laid into a guy... fight right there on the sidewalk and people gathered like it was free entertainment. About an hour later (one street over) we were walking along and whammo! Screams and hollaring and lots of violent language like "Danny! You F'd it up! You always F it up!" the situation was quickly approaching us so we darted across the street to avoid whatever altercation was fixing to take place. It's wild there... people everywhere and apparently last night wasn't even a busy night. A girl downstairs told us 'wait til thursday, friday and saturday!' The beach is so nice though. Headed to the pool... more later!

Miami Vice

We made it to Miami... no one speaks English here. Actually, I'm pretty sure we're not even in the United States anymore. They obviously don't require driver's license's or offer driving classes... you are just on your own. Pick it up and go, I guess. I met a couple in the elevator today and I walked down the street with them for lunch. They are from L.A. and come to Miami every year for work and they own some property here. They just dart out in the traffic like a game of Frogger. Mr L.A. said 'you arent used to this are you!?' Did the look on my face when they just jumped out in front of cars make it that obvious that i'm not a local!?

I also met a couple at the pool from New Jersey. I chatted with them most of the afternoon yesterday and they have invited us to join them at a Cuban restaurant in South Beach.

I also met a guy in the elevator that had just returned from a run and we got to chatting about the air, and how it's different in other parts of the country. Well, anyways... that not important. What is important is the fact that while i'm talking to him he reaches up and wipes sweat from his cheek and sucks it off his finger. *vomit in my throat* then he reaches up and gets more from his forehead and eats/drinks (whatever!) that too! *grabbing trashcan to blow chunks while I type this*. I coudnt look at him anymore. That is the grossest thing i've ever seen.... I have successfully avoided him since.

Sunday, September 17, 2006