Monday, December 31, 2007


Happy New Year!!!

Enjoy and be safe.

We're spending our night safe and sound at home... with baby Z and my sister. We're going to party hard on Benadryl, Childrens Tylenol and diet coke. Richard and baby Z both have colds or something....

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Dr Evil Strikes

Eating a big bowl of Mac & cheese late at night isn't a good idea. It blows up in your stomach and it hurts! The big glass of water probably didn't help matters either. That pasta just absorbs the water and gets bigger.

Eating a big bowl of Mac & Cheese isnt a good idea period. Regardless of the time of day. I think I should mark it off my list of foods I can eat.

It's hecka late at night and I sit here thinking about the next few weeks and how my whole world could change completely. Well, as far as employment goes. I can't say too much because I know that Snoopy McSnooperson and Fatty McFatterson back at work have snooped in my email and checked out websites that I visit... and this blog is one of them. So I know they read it periodically (that's why sometimes i'm very vague). I do like to drop little bombs for them on here... and lead them astray. It's so fun to play with little minds.

Anywhoo... Say a little prayer for me... that things go my way! If they do... then it's very possible that the situation with Fatty at work will be over! OVER I say! O V E R !!!! muaaaahahahahhahahahahahh! *very evil laugh*

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Quick Pics

Since Baby Z wasn't really into Christmas this year, everyone had a good time just being goofy with her gifts. My mom found it comical to get her a new outfit... see picture below.

Her daddy secretly slid a little sumpin' sumpin' into her stocking... tattoo's!!!

Her first tat was on her ankle. A pacifier! lol

Grandma had a fit when she saw that we had "tattoo'd up that baby!" We told her it was a toss up between getting her ears pierced or getting her a tattoo. She's against both. lol

Tuesday, December 25, 2007


Merry Christmas!

How many 5 year olds can you take on in a fight? I can take 14...


Looking for payday loans?

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Slippery When Wet

Today we got our predicted inch of snow and some rain... which froze almost immediately because the high today was only in the 30's. That makes for a nasty night because it dropped below freezing and everything that even started to melt (roads and parking lots) has now frozen into sheets of ice.

Richard went to the grocery store for me and came home to announce how "bad" it was outside and how slow he had to drive, etc. Of course, now I decided I "need" to go to the mall. I talked C into going with me (there was a coat I wanted and I had to get it today. Tomorrow might be too late!!!) and we skated out to the MM and headed off down the road. Sure enough... it's slicker than snot outside!!!

It is solid sheets of ice. Perfect shopping weather!!! The mall was quiet and only those who are dare devils... risk takers... brave and strong... dared to make their way to the mall! Not only did we run into the mall, but we made our way across the street to Old Navy, then we even ventured so far as to get a coke at Wendy's! oh my! When the weather gets nasty and everyone stays in... that's when I go out because you can actually get in and out of places quicker. You don't have to battle the people!

Hope y'all have your shopping done!!!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Home Cookin'

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What my sis told me just minutes ago... is true!

If it's printed in OK magazine. It's true!

and if Perez says, it's true!

Jamie Lynn Spears is knocked up! She's only 16!!! I really thought she was the one with it 'all together'. Apparently not.

Come Smell the Roses

I ventured to the mall again today... WITH baby in tow. I'm getting gutsy!
I don't mean by taking baby Z out... I mean by going to the mall!

Z is an awesome shopping partner. She seems to love to ride along in her stroller and most likely will nap while I'm pushing her around. She just curls up to the side of her little seat and catches up on her ZZZ's. Today was a bit different.

She napped like usual, but while in Macy's she started stirring. I watched her... trying to anticipate the fit that is building. Is it going to be a blood curdling scream? Will it be just a little yelp? Will she put herself back to sleep? I leaned in to watch her and holy cow.

I smelled the smell.

She'd been working on a little Christmas present of her own!

I knew that she'd probably not put herself back to sleep because this diaper was loaded! I brought her home and to my surprise not only had she left me a gift, but she blew it out the side and coated her cute little pink and white onsie with it!
How does a child pooh out the side? or out the back!?!? I've never figured that out. How can something so precious and tiny do so much damage out the backend. And the smell! How do they produce such odor!!! She's keeping up with the boys!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Sandman Cometh

Are you exhausted and weary? Can’t quite seem to catch enough of those forty winks in the comfort of your own home on your off hours? Then why don’t you just relax, stretch out, and catch a few much-needed zzzs whenever and wherever that drowsy mood strikes!

Now I realize people are worn-out and stressed around this time of year but I’m not sure even that qualifies for a valid excuse for this unprofessional behavior at 3 pm. In the main lobby by the Information Desk. In our Admin building. In front of gawking collegians, startled faculty, dismayed staff, wide-eyed prospective students and crafty employees with cell phone picture capabilities. Like me. ;)

I can't tell if he has the butt-crack thing going on or not in this pic but I believe this was just his light shirt peeking through his dark jacket. And I love how his busy-beaver colleague just keeps plugging away oblivious to the possibility of loud snoring wafting his way...

Then he got up and fell asleep on the counter next to the lobby desk. This must have been awkward for the switchboard gals.

Good thing Grand Exalted Poobah was gone yesterday. Tsk! Several others were snapping away with their own cameras so I have a feeling someone will be called on the carpet (so to speak) today. Yes, I do realize this could be the result of narcolepsy but this is simply not the wisest place to let it get the better of you.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Found a Peanut

I know a lot of fellow Okies are having a rough time of it with the beautiful but very destructive ice storm they recently endured. My neck of the woods managed to dodge that sparkly bullet but the winter is just firing up so there’s no telling what wave of nasty stuff will have our name on it. It’s a toss-up as to whether the white flakes they are predicting will blow in Friday (Weatherbug) or Saturday (Weather Channel) but odds are in our favor will be blessed with a lovely wintry mix as we head into the weekend. I, of course, am heartily employing my ever-popular Snow Dance, sporting my snowflake earrings, and shaking my booty, er, Snow Globe Snowman for all he’s worth hoping for copious amounts of frozen manna from heaven. Yes, I adore snow. :)

Last night as I was happily munching on pistachios that I planned to save for next week (such resolve), I thought of that old song I used to sing with my comrades while we were zipping down the road heading for some educational fieldtrip. I wonder if kiddos still repeat that old chestnut? At any rate, I did find the lyrics online and sure enough, it was unearthed on a website called The only difference I found was that my fellow scholars inserted the “went to heaven” line instead of being reincarnated, but other than that, it’s exactly the same.

Found a peanut
Found a peanut
Found a peanut just now
Just now I found a peanut
Found a peanut just now.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Ice Storm Images

I didn't realize our ice storm was so damaging, but today on the news they said about one million people were without power right now... and most had been without power for several days. One of the providers said it will be about 7 days before they can get their customers back on! That's 1/4 of the people in the state without electricity. I'm so glad i'm not one of them. I've been there done that... and its no fun! Last night I was trying to post a few pictures and our power went out twice... but snapped right back on. It was a scarey brief moment! Needless to say, I didnt get my pictures posted... until now.

The raining ice has turned into rain. Thunderstorms actually. So tonight that ought to make for lots of fun on the roads!

These are just the little plants in my yard. All over the city there are huge trees split in half and downed powerlines. Its a sad sight.

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Bah Humbug!

*repeating to myself*

I will not leave the house on the weekends.
I will not leave the house on the weekends.
I will not leave the house on the weekends.

I left my house today. Twice. Terrible mistake.

First of all, I didnt get to bed until 5 o'clock this morning and I bailed out of bed about 9:30am so I could get to our soccer game at noon. However, I had to drop cookies off at our church by 8am (obviously i'm very late)so I had to get everyone around and leave the house earlier to allow me time to make the drop. Plus I needed to go by Sonic.

Richard took off for his haircut a little before 11am, and I was running like a madwoman to get our soccer gear together and everyone dressed and out the door without crying, screaming and hollering (mostly me). It was cold and drizzly... but we made it! C, P, Z and I loaded up and headed out. The traffic is bad around our house anyways but add the fact that every major road surrounding us is being widened or resurfaced... well, the traffic is just hellacious!

The Sonic stop helped though... and I made it.

This afternoon I fed baby Z and was just going to "run to Wal-Mart and Target real quick" to return a few items and pick up some other stuff. Just 'real quick'. By the time I got home my blood pressure was on boiling and I had nothing nice to say about the human race at all. Every parking lot is packed. No one knows how to drive or park and I'm so sick of idiots trying to make the next light... AND CAN'T and wind up blocking intersections so the cross traffic can't go and miss THEIR light!

Plus idiots doing their shopping and can't count (10 items or less and they have an easy 50 items) and of course not enough checkers working on a Saturday makes it even worse. I've decided I will do no shopping on the weekends and I will do as much as I can after midnight and before 7am. I think its safer then... I'm less likely to blow a gasket.

Course... there's only a few weeks til Christmas anyways.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Assholes Fly

Remember way back like a few weeks ago probably when I posted about the jerk at work?!

Well... he strikes again. WHILE I'M OFF ON FMLA! I'm just waiting... he's making very lethal moves and i'm documenting (all smiles on my part). He thinks he's slick. WRONG! I've got way too much experience with assholes. Remember... I worked at Chaos College and got all kinds of training! hahahaha

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Thumbs Up

It’s been a busy week as the semester wheezes out its last gasping breaths here at Chaos Central. I can’t remember ever Fedexing this much in my life. (Good thing the Fedex guy is easy on the eyes.) I arrived at work on Monday exhausted from hosting company the entire weekend. They were there when I got home Friday and still blissfully in the arms of Morpheus when I departed for work on Monday. Much as I love them, it gets old not having a nanosecond to yourself and listening to your dear SIL’s incessant yammering. Adding to my cranky Monday irritability was yet another department meeting, several paper cuts from the Fedex envelopes, splitting my thumbnail way past the quick when my hand slipped off the soap dispenser and plowed into something hard and metallic causing excruciating pain and a determined quest for the ever elusive bandaids. Then Cowgirl decided to sell homemade peanut brittle from my reception area (without my permission) to aid some cause. Does this place resemble a lemonade stand or something? No way was I going to babysit her edibles and if anyone had walked off with the whole unattended bag, I wouldn’t have shed a tear. She finally clued in that she would have more sales if sold from a different location and moved them to another dept. where she did brisk business. Monday didn’t end soon enough for me. Today settled down considerably but I have yet to wander over to the gym and shake off this lethargy. Too many tempting delicacies are starting to make their way to various offices and my resolve to refrain from partaking is getting weaker. I must be strong! Anywho, that’s matters as they stand and much like Kerbear, I'll be hitting the gym tomorrow fer sure.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Most firearm accidents occur in the home. Avoid the chance of serious injury by getting shot repeatedly at work this week.

Leo July 23 - August 22

Your meticulous attention to detail will once again ruin an otherwise fun and pleasureable pasttime.

Virgo August 23 - September 22

Fears of dying alone will soon be allayed when more than 2,000 fire ants keep you company during those last terrifying minutes.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

The stars indicate that love is in your future. They also indicate your latitude and longitude, if you have a sextant and a basic knowledge of geometry.

Pisces February 19 - March 20

What may at first appear to be an insurmountable obstacle will in time be seen for what it really is: an impenetrable barrier.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Pain in my Tum

I have waited for this day... for months!

Today, I got to go upstairs at the gym.

Why is that such a big deal you ask!?!? WELL... upstairs is where all the ab work takes place! I can once again join the crunchers and side-benders! yeah!!! I crunched this morning until my stomach muscles ached. It's such a good feeling!!!

Saturday, December 01, 2007

The Third Time is a Charm

It seems like forever since i've been able to sit down and type up a little ditty for this blog. In the few days i've been busy trying to work out a little schedule with baby Z (and losing sense of time/day), I hear that Britney Spears is preggers again!?!?

What is up with that girl!?

Thanks for all the well wishes. :)

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Private Parts

Chaos College has finally completed building a brand spanking new structure to house a communication center as well as our nursing facilities and today was the preliminary open house for faculty and staff. The actual opening is this Friday with many influential dignitaries, including the honored governor, heading for tiny Podunkville to kick off the formal dedication. Anyway, my buddy “J” and I first chowed down at the come and go lunch before heading over for the grand tour. The buffet consisted of ham, seafood or chicken salad on croissants, chicken gumbo, potato, or broccoli & cheese soup, a house salad, pecan, pumpkin, or apple pie, and iced tea or water to wash it all down. (FYI: I selected the seafood salad, the broccoli & cheese soup, and the apple pie.)

As we hit the sidewalk right outside the bookstore heading for the new edifice, we were accosted by an obnoxious man surrounded by what looked to be sycophant students hanging on his every syllable. His frantically urged us to sign some petition but we never broke stride as “J” mulled the very unlikely possibility of his receiving permission to be soliciting on campus. After an enlightening tour of the nursing wing in which we were privileged to view rubbery vaginas in various stages of dilation and a lifelike manikin going through simulated labor (thought of you, Ker), we headed back to our respective offices. (Oh, to equalize the viewing, “J” insisted on ogling some penises so our compliant instructor whipped off the covers of a male dummy lying helpless in a bed. I could have sworn he looked embarrassed at this unexpected unveiling.) Spotting the dean and a VP standing in the man’s former location, we felt pretty sure it was no coincidence and that the loudmouth had been turned in. After a short, informative discussion, we learned that the petition was indeed a sham as it was just an effort to get quick signatures for who knows what dubious intent and purpose. Apparently the group was not comprised of our students but rather warm bodies who all jumped out of a commercial van with out-of-state tags left running by its female getaway driver ready to beat a hasty retreat at the first sign of trouble. And flee they did once confronted. That pretty much wraps up my wonderful Wednesday. How is yours going?

Monday, November 26, 2007

Baby News

She's here!!! Baby Z made her debute early saturday morning!

Friday night Richard and I headed to Old Navy to just hang out and waste some time. Walk off some turkey. We found a few pairs of pants that looked pretty awesome for him, so we headed to the dressing room for him to try them on. I planted my very pretty butt on the bench inside his room and he proceeded to try on the obviously too small jeans. I got to laughing so hard at him and Richard made it worse by doing some little dance and trying to cram himself into these horribly tight pants. I said "stop making me laugh! I'll have this baby!"

With that being said... I stood up to leave and WHOOOSH. My water broke. In the dressing room!! We dropped everything we had with us and headed for the house to pack a few bags and off to the hospital.

Within a few hours we had Baby Z at a good healthy 8lbs! Here we are right before being dismissed.... it's good to be home!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

BTW... I love that pic below, Circe. haha

I thought for sure I'd be spending today in the hospital having a new little baby... not so far, no such luck. So many people have told me "it will be the 21st!" so I thought that it just had to be! So many have said it! PLUS its turned cold today. Freezing cold. From 80 degrees yesterday to 40 something today plus the blistery wind. Of course I'd go into labor on a cold day and have to 'weather' the storm! Yep... nope, not me! I'm hanging tough! I also thought it would be today because I didn't want to spend Thanksgiving in the hospital. Sure fire way of getting tossed in the bed to have a baby. Nope. Still nothing.

So, I guess I'll get to eat 20 little Thanksgiving snacks on Thanksgiving instead of a big dinner. I dont have room for all that food!

I wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving and keep warm!!!

Jackhammers & Strobe Lights

On our last day of this abbreviated work week and at one week shy of five months, I am once again driving my repaired GP. I was curious as to how I’d feel about that but it actually felt extremely good and very comfortable and I was pleased to be back in the dark gray leather saddle. Sometimes it takes driving a bare-bones, no-frills kinda car to appreciate the additional bells and whistles that exist in newer models. It was so nice to know what speed I was traveling at for a change and to not have to go through the extra effort of lowering my eyeballs to view just how fast I was going. I didn’t have to throw the flopping seat belt back into the interior every single time I exited and it was lovely to check my makeup in the lighted mirror on the visor. Ah, it’s good to be spoiled again. :)

Usually our Grand Exalted Poobah waits until today to graciously bestow on we unworthy peons a shorter workday. It won't be happening this year and I partly blame myself. *sad face* Our new Grand Exalted Poobah's assistant was unaware of the need for tactful silence as questioning His Highness in regards to this ticklish matter has only ever led to a firm "no." Therefore the deed was done with the expected outcome. I should have warned her but I didn't think of it in time and I am deeply regretful of my lack of appropriate action.

It's cold in here. And the light in the hallway keeps wildly flickering. I'd call maintenance but why? Like they are going to come over here and do any actual work on this blustery day before the holiday. HA! And this morning as I was trying to explain something to our courier, there was a noisy jackhammer going in the background making communication impossible. Jackhammers and strobe lights. And no early leaving. Yeah, welcome to Chaos College.

For all my fellow Americans, I’d like to wish you a safe and happy Thanksgiving and for our international crowd, have a terrific weekend! See you back here on Monday...

Monday, November 19, 2007

OK Corral

This past weekend we hosted a party at the bowling alley for P's birthday and to help me wrestle all the boys in the hood, I recruited help from Richard and my sis.

Here's them 'helping'.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Isn't That What Your Hand Is For?

Sometimes, I like to catch up on the celebrity gossip. Ok, daily I try to catch up. lol But dang! THIS!!! How weird can this be!?!?

A man caught having sex with his bicycle!?!?!? lmao!

Wouldn't that hurt!?!?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Raucous Reminder

Thankfully, the visit with Dr Drill is over and the molar feels much better. I had minimal discomfort for the remainder of the day though the Grand Poobah did inform me I was as white as a ghost. I shall attempt chewing on it later. (Don’t want to rush it, mind you.)

This morning kicked off with a rare, unannounced fire drill. I thought I was back in elementary school as we all herded out in a timely manner and shivered in the morning chill (30 degrees) to the sound of the persistent, shrieking alarm. While I remembered my purse, my cell phone was inadvertently abandoned in the unexpected flight. More importantly, I totally forgot to flush out “M” and “Cowgirl” ensconced in the cobwebbed corners of our back offices thus leaving them to die a fiery death. Ooops! They really need to postpone these drills until I’ve had my second cup of coffee at which point my fuzzy brain is fully engaged. I profusely apologized to their charred 'corpses' upon my return. The 'corpses' retorted that in retaliation, they pushed the Beast out of its parking spot and into the road. I promised to remember them next time. :)

After this dental dip in my abbreviated work week, today’s outlook is bright and promising for several reasons. A. I have my regular hair appointment to get the ole locks trimmed up and shipshape. B. The boss is blissfully gone. And C. It feels like a Friday for Chaos College as tomorrow is Okieville’s one hundredth birthday and state employees are set free to friskily frolic amongst the fallen leaves and enjoy a three-day weekend. Woo hoo! I smugly inquired if Mz Federal Employee (sis) had the day off and received a negative reply. Ha! For once, State beat Federal in having a holiday off. Go State!

The’s Signs You've Become Too Involved with an Appliance

  • You keep the microwave's clock set to the exact hour and minute you first spotted it in the Best Buy Scratch 'n' Dent section.
  • Ninety percent of your body is covered with *perfectly* round hickeys.
  • Your refrigerator is wearing a tiger-print thong and assless chaps.
  • Every time you walk by your fax machine, it spits out another copy of the restraining order telling you to stay 500 feet away.
  • You saved a lock of its first carpet lint in a scrapbook.
  • The Radio Shack guys start stacking up the boxes of D-cells as soon as you pull up outside.
  • "Do you, Frank, take serial #57-44521RV, to have and to hold..."

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Work Sucks

So much happened today I can't possibly write about all of it. However, there is just one thing I'd love to say...

I hate working with liars and people who are untrustworthy and only out for themselves and ready to throw you under the bus and not bat an eye. Especially when they are in your same department!

ALL of us see the little game he's playing and the little plan he has... why can't everyone understand what's going on!? It's so obvious!

Oh well... it will come out in the wash. Oh yes, it will! One way or another we will take this man out!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Drill Master

“It just goes to show you, it’s always something.” Remember that memorable quote from Roseanne Roseannadanna, the character Gilda Radner played so well on the old SNL? Lately for me it’s been tooth trouble and more specifically a pesky molar that has decided to hook up with the dark side. Basically, my gums in this particular spot receded causing decay to get up under the crown and cause problems. Adding to the turmoil is my switching of dentists in midstream. A temporary crown was inserted last week but as I still cannot chew on this tooth, the obvious solution is the terror-inducing root canal which is what I’ll be facing tomorrow morning. *sigh* Oh well. At least “drill masters” aren’t the horrendous Mr. Hyde’s they were in years past and modern dentistry has come a long way in reducing pain. While I cannot say I’m happy about this turn of events, I’m not really dreading it and will be ecstatic to be viewing it from the rear view mirror.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18

If you want your fortune so bad, maybe you should consult those tea leaves again—the way you did last week. You didn't think the stars knew about that, did you?

Scorpio October 24 - November 21

When life gives you lemons, why not blame them on your troubled upbringing and consequent inability to show affection? It sure beats making lemonade.

Monday, November 12, 2007

I'm Really a Smuggler

Being preggers can be a trial sometimes. When I'm not comfortable (no one is comfortable) or when I can't sleep (no one gets to sleep) or when I have cravings (we all have to give into the craving) or you get the picture. Through this whole time, Richard has busted his hump to make me comfortable and happy and ... well you understand where i'm going with that too.

The hardest thing is getting bigger. Not fitting into any clothes and here in the last few weeks it seems like it just keeps growing and growing... and it does! Babies put on alot of weight right before they are born. This weekend while we were grocery shopping, I was looking at my profile every time we passed one of the freezer doors at the store... and making comments. About 3 or 4 doors into it, Richard finally stepped in between me and the door so I couldnt see myself and gently explained (again) that it's not fat. It's baby!

Here's us with our babies at 37 weeks.

The guys think I look like i'm smuggling a basketball, so Richard put his basketball in to look like me! haha

Friday, November 09, 2007

Lady Lumps

I think it's great that JLo is finally in the preggers way. I guess she's tried for some time to have kids and she's finally fessed up that she's preggers. However.... can she wear anything else besides a dang moo-moo! I mean dayum! That is all we see her in and it makes her look like a f'ing barn!

She used to dress so snazzy. Now she wears tents in all colors and they are long long long! Why try to hide the bump!?!?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007


I must possess one of the most well-behaved cell numbers in phone history. The same cannot be said for TBC or sis. Several times now, sis has received texts from guys that want to hook up with her and refuse to believe she’s not the gal they are trying to reach. In September she was in OKC spending the night before taking Jellybean to the airport to catch her early morning flight. Sleep was at a premium but Mr Hot & Horney was bound and determined to score with his elusive consort and kept up the mobile pressure. As a last resort, sis insisted he call her to prove she was not his playful amante and he finally ceased and desisted after the truth trickled its way through his thick skull.

As you all know TBC’s piss-poor luck with mobile numbers continued unabated. Last month, I called Ma Bell and switched his number and was given the solemn promise they were brand spanking new digits that had never been fondled by human hands. Wrong! If you recall, that very night he received a misdialed number at the ungodly hour of 2 am. True, the party wanted (Renee to Erica) had changed, but wrong calls/texts continued on an alarmingly regular basis. Admittedly, the desperate pleas to be bailed out of jail desisted, but still. The most surprising recent text was the proud announcement from what I can only assume was a female proclaiming her upcoming motherhood. Obviously very bored, TBC played along by asking her if it was his. She said yes! (He’s fixed). After several back and forth texts, she called and was told she had the wrong number prompting the immediate missive “a man answered.” Finally TBC broke down and told her it was him all along and she had dialed a wrong number. Yet again I reached out and touched AT&T to secure a third number for him. This last customer rep, Wesley, swore on a stack of well-thumbed Bibles that this indeed was a virgin number. Third time's the charm, right?…

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Show Me Your Pearly Whites

I get a newsletter from my dentist every so often, and tonights info was very interesting....

Smiles are an interesting feature of everyone’s life. Everyone has one, but everyone feels differently about their own. Consider a few interesting facts about smiles:.

• 62 - Number of times a day the average woman smiles.
• 8 - Number of times a day the average man smiles.
• 63% - Percentage of people who say they look best in photos when they are showing their teeth.
• 99.7% - Percentage of adults who say an attractive smile is an important personal asset.
• 74% - Percentage of people who say that an unattractive smile can hurt a person's chances for business or career success.
• 23% - Percentage of people who say they look the best with their mouth closed.

Mark Twain once wrote, "Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been!" The act of smiling is a very uncomplicated and important human activity. It really isn't important that your smile be perfect- but that you feel good about it and you give it away! If your stingy with your smile because it’s something less than what you want it to be, we can help - Smiles are what we do best.

Guys never smile!!! I am always smiling. Unless, of course, i'm not. I know I at least do it 62 times a day. Tomorrow i'm going to count. Well, actually this might not be a fair time to test that theory... bein's how i'm having a hard time sleeping at night and I can't breath very easily. Maybe it's best to save the test for another time.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Another Baby Day

Our sunday school class held a little baby shower for us this weekend. Check out that cake! It was so cute that I didnt want to cut it! It was too perfect and looked... well, not real! It was beautiful! Angela finally talked me into letting them disassemble it and dig in.

Lil November got her first Christmas stocking and a stocking hat to match.

She also got a fun (noisy) Noah's Ark toy to play with... complete with lights, sound and action. It follows her Noah's Ark nursery theme.

After the shower, my mom, sis and I treated ourselves to pedicure's at the spa. My little lady, who was the sweetest little Asian girl, asked me if I wanted something on my toe. I'd told mom's girl to put a flower on hers (giggle) but then they asked me something about mine. I had no idea what she was saying, so I just smiled and nodded. Scared to death of what I might get... she put rhinestones on me! I got bling!!!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Ghosts and Goblins

I just realized that neither of us did a Happy Halloween entry!

Welp, Happy Belated Halloween!

I hope everyone had fun... I did! I ate too much candy though, so i'm on a cleansing diet today.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Engine Envy

TBC and I seem to possess a fleet of vehicles and are therefore never without transportation should the unexpected (car accident) occur. Basically, we have double the vehicles to people ratio. Therefore, for the majority of October and some of September, I’ve been driving The Beast. *reverential moment as we bask in its awesome glory* The Beast was and still is a very popular muscle car that inspires lust and envy in every red-blooded American male gearhead within a fifty or possibly even hundred mile radius. I watch the heads swivel around and jaws drop in wonderment when I whiz by, and it’s with mixed emotions that I realize it’s not Mz Circe’s contours that are causing all the fuss and commotion. I realize there are a few minor accessories that no longer work such as the horn, the clock, the radio, and most recently, the speedometer, but it still looks and sounds magnificent.

Monday afternoon, one of the construction guys stops at my door and inquires if I’m the proud owner of The Beast. So we chatted for awhile about what a terrific car I own and I cheerfully rattle off its stats and background. A little later he pops his head in again and declares that it was almost backed into by their trailer. And laughs. At which point I solemnly proclaim that if even one drop of its primer paint is harmed, I will cheerfully and single-handedly throttle him within an inch of his careless life. By God, that’s a classic car, people! I’ve since changed my parking spot to avoid possible mishaps and believe me, he noticed and asked me about it. Duh! You almost plowed into my baby, ya dolt, of course I’m going to change spaces! Anyway, I guess we are good buddies now as every time he saunters down our hallway, which is often, (just when does that boy do any physical labor anyway?) he tosses remarks and money offers for it my way or stops and chats. For some reason he thought I was a Packers fan and said something about that team winning the game Monday night. My puzzled look caused him to question my football loyalties by which I then pointed to my Browns mousepad. This saucy pup retorted that if I was a Packers fan and owned The Beast, he would give TBC a run for his money. *snorts coffee out nostrils* I warned him to enjoy the view while he can as my preshus GP should be out of the shop soon and it’ll be goodbye Beast. :)

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Power User

I have just been awarded the Yahoo! Power user reward.

I'm a Yahoo! Power Mailer!

Power Users are the heaviest and most frequent users of Yahoo! Mail and were selected by Yahoo! to participate in this pilot program. These users spend an incredible amount of time using Yahoo! Mail, so the Power User program is our way of thanking them.

That is awesome.

Bruiser Bears

(love these costumes...)

In other news: I finally won my first FFB matchup. After eight
l o o o o n g weeks. And I beat the No. 1 team in the league. And I had the highest score of anyone. Ah, victory is sweet... *sigh* :) Go Teddybears!!!
(and the Browns won last Sunday)

The Top God Billboards We'd Like to See
  • You're going to hell! Ask me how.
  • Stop that fighting or I'll turn this planet around right now!
  • My son has no middle name, let alone initial. If you're gonna blaspheme, get it right.
  • Actually, on the seventh day I went to Wal-Mart.
  • Change your ways. Or don't you consider telemarketers a pestilence?
  • I made you in my image -- so pull up those pants, you little punks!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Sharpies in All Colors

This weekend I got my hair colored and I'm going this weekend for a pedicure. I'm getting all prettied up to have lil November :) haha... as if it all makes a difference. But at least I'll know my toes look good and my hair is a new color!

Here's me at 35 weeks and a new shade of hair!

Another shot of the new do...

Can you guess what this is!?!?

Did I fail to mention that my sister did my hair... and afterwards we got a little bored and she came up with the brilliant idea of drawing on my tummy. She guaranteed me that the sharpies would have NO affect on Lil November (as it does us... sniff sniff). If you look closely, you can see my scar right about my belly button, where my belly button ring used to be. Looks funny... ahhaha

With This Ring

It can be tricky trying to dress for a funeral and wedding but I felt I pulled it off with a certain grace and aplomb. I opted for a fancy dark plum blouse with a black skirt and low black heels. After the funeral rites, TBC and I hopped in the car and sped toward the structurally pleasing backdrop of the cowboy-themed, chilly, outdoor October nuptials. Knowing this family well, I expected one glorious affair and was far from disappointed. The blushing bride was resplendent in a gorgeous, strapless ivory confection complete with a dazzling tiara atop her golden curls and cascading veil. Groomsmen sported cowboy hats along with semi-formal attire and I suppose it was anxious nerves that kept those bridesmaids from breaking out in a massive epidemic of goosebumps while wearing their chocolate-hued, bare-shouldered creations. After the ceremony, we headed inside to enjoy the tasteful elegance of the meticulously decorated site. Always a hit, I gobbled down many a gooey, drenched strawberry baptized in the chocolate fountain holding court on the groaning appetizer table. From there we entered the dining room where boxes of fancy chocolates awaited each seated guest. Catered by a local BBQ restaurant, we supped on brisket, twice-baked potatoes, green beans, and rolls washed down by either water, pop, or a nice selection of mixed drinks and beer. I chose the Heineken. :) There was dancing and laughter as the jovial crowd kicked up their spit-shined, polished boots and a good time was had by all. I do love a good wedding!

Beautiful centerpieces

Pink-hued H20 fountain

Yummy wedding cake

Grooms cake depicting the groom’s vehicle. Why does it always resemble turds?

Sunday, October 28, 2007

The Great Quizitation

I’ve found my ginormous baby belly to be an attractor of less that desireable people. It’s like it’s a big neon sign for total strangers… and those which you’d rather not touch you… to feel compelled to spark up a conversation with you and ask all kinds of personal questions. Throughout this little pregnancy all kinds of total strangers have stopped me and asked all kinds of questions. When is your baby due? Do you know what you’re having? What are you going to name it? Is this your first? Are you going to breast or bottle feed? Are you going back to work? Are the kids excited? and the list goes on and on and on….

What prompts me to write this is the latest quizzer. The Wal-Mart greeter lady.

I walked in the door this weekend and was greeted by an unusually friendly greeter with her usualy “welcome to Walmart”… I smiled and grabbed a basket and proceeded on my way. She walked swiftly towards me and said “ohhhhhh… when’s it due?” (thinking IT is Lil November and I do not want to discuss this yet again! and especially with you!) I told her in a couple of weeks and tried to keep walking. She was smiling her gnarly toothed grin and kept right on going with the usual list of questions. Is this your first?! NO! Is it a girl or boy? Girl. And I keep going…. and she keeps following me! So, I stopped and turned to face her in hopes to shut her up so I can get on my way (I really hate Wal-Mart) and I’ll be darned if she didnt head straight for me with hands stretched out like she really was going to start rubbing my tum! There was no way in the world that Wal-Mart greeter lady was going to touch me! I grabbed my basket and darted away from her and she kept talking and asking questions. Are you excited? Yes! (you’d think with my one word answers and the fact i’m walking AWAY from her might let her know that maybe I dont want to make any sort of conversation with her… but she’s so excited she’s glowing). She finally tossed out another question and I just smiled and literally ran to the nearest bathroom to lock myself in a stall.

This close attack follows on the heels of another quizzing experience while exiting the baby doctor office building a week ago. Some strange (emphasis on strange) lady (minus about 4 front teeth) proceeded to quiz Richard and I. She started in with the same darn questions and even though we kept walking away from her she kept screaming out question after question and grinning from ear to ear with excitement like she was going to be a grandma or something. I'm not sure what she was doing... maybe a janitor that worked there or something, and was waiting for a ride.

Why do people think they can ask all these questions and don’t they realize that some of them are rather personal!?!? I know little babies are exciting and all.... but dang! Its nine (well, not actually because if you're lucky you can hide the baby bump for quite a while thus delaying the quizzitation experiences) months of constant questioning and its the same thing over and over. I should just have a pamphlet printed up with all the questions and my answers.. and just pass it out as i'm attacked by baby loving strangers.

Saturday, October 27, 2007


I'm having a jewelry party today! It stresses me out (somewhat) to have a house full of people ... mostly those I dont know... and to host a party. My friend Tanya and I went to a Premier Jewelry party a couple of months ago and we decided we'd host a party of our own. Today is the big day....

PLUS last night Richard and I went to a Ribbon cutting ceremony for a friends new business downtown and I invited tons of people and told them to bring their mom and sisters, aunts and friends. So who knows who might show up!

I have plenty of tea and lemonade though. Richard helped me clean, and Tanya is bringing cookies. OH and the bathrooms are clean. Thats always important at a party. haha

Friday, October 26, 2007

Hello Goodbye

Originally, one wedding and one funeral were on tap for tomorrow. Until our neighbor died Wednesday and his widow also arranged for yet another Saturday burial. As this is pushing an already severely nudged envelope, we are sticking with our original plan of attending the first two, but we did pay a visit to his wife last evening and shared a meal with her and several sets of former next door neighbors that we hadn’t seen in ages. Though it’s sad to reunite under these poignant circumstances, the evening was upbeat and pleasant without ever veering toward the maudlin.

Much like most schools across the country, this entire week at Chaos College was devoted to Red Ribbon awareness and yes, I’m wearing my red rubber wrist band. *holds up arm* Various activities were held on campus, but yesterday they had the circle blocked off so as to demonstrate vision impairment. To quote:

A student will wear vision impairment goggles while driving a go-cart to simulate driving under the influence. Other activities during that time will include a simulated jail experience (Kerbear had one of those to raise money for something when she worked here) and other events to increase awareness of the possible consequences of drunk driving.

Anyway, as I was trudging across campus heading for the gym, I observed the go-cart in action and though I thought of it too late to get any really decent pics of the festivities, here are a few I did snag. This is just like reliving the college experience, isn't it? :)

This is actually a pic of the makeshift jail though you couldn't prove it by me. (Cops and kiddos are blocking the view.)

And to conclude our funky Friday...

Things That Can Get a Guy Banned From the Men's Union

  • You catch yourself thinking, "You know, what this bed needs is a few more pillows."
  • "What do you think: a Zima or a white zinfandel?"
  • You rhapsodize about taking that chick with the great rack home from the bar for a long night of sweet cuddling and General Foods International Coffee.
  • You not only know the difference between a puff pastry and a cream puff, but your choux paste swan took first place at the county fair.
  • “Ewww, gross! Two women kissing!"
  • "You know, take away the steroids and over-the-top sideshow atmosphere from pro wrestling and it's just like ballet!"

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Take out the Trash!

Richard has mentioned decorating my stomach for Halloween and he'd thought about a pumpkin.

Today, one of the guys I work with sent me a picture of a couple in costume and SHE was obviously very preggers and she'd been dressed like a fat slob, drunken trailer house trash good-for-nothing boyfriend/husband complete with wife beater shirt and jeans too big with the belt undone, hat, unshaven, and cigarette. They had either drawn on, or glued on some black fuzz for chest hair and belly hair. HAHA

HE was dressed as a blonde bimbo trailer house trash complete with big boobs, nasty makeup, beer and cigarette.

What a funny idea! I'm not real sure our church would think that's too funny if we were to go parading through there during their Halloween night festivities. But gosh, its funny!

W & S Tour--Day 2

After a comfy, if somewhat odiferous, night’s rest and a continental breakfast consisting of waffles and biscuits and gravy, we hopped on the road again heading for the Talimena (Talihina, OK to Mena, AR) Scenic Drive. Be forewarned, there are a lot of motorcycles vrooming down this particular highway. A lot. Scads. Buttloads. It’s just about mandatory to cruise this stretch of asphalt from the seat of a massive Hog. After snapping a great deal of pictures and vainly looking for leaves that had turned an expected shade of yellow, orange or red, we entered Mena and headed south to DeQueen. From there, we crossed back into Okrahoma and stopped in Broken Bow.

One would think the middle of October would be an ideal time to view the annual Changing O da Leaf Colors, but you would be wrong, wrong, wrong no matter what this website tells you. I did spot a bunch of Goldenrod though. *aachoo!*

“The Talimena Scenic Drive is probably best known for its Autumn colors, and rightly so!

Because of our unique geology and geography our fall color season is unusually long. From early October into late November you'll see a variety of trees and bushes changing colors, either deep in the sheltered valleys or along our mountain top.”

Anywho, just north of Broken Bow is the wildly popular winery with the marvelous designation—Girls Gone Wine. This fabulous location has only been open a few years (I think) but what it lacks in stuffy credentials, it more than makes up for in enthusiasm and passion. Rhonda herself was manning the front desk when we arrived and welcomed us warmly. A cute, bouncy Malaysian gal was our perky pourer and she was a total blast. I did have to restrain myself from asking what she thought of the movie, Zoolander. *snicker* Not only did we load up with a case of assorted wines and a commemorative wineglass, but I also purchased an adorable black top with the caption “Wine Diva.”

After snagging dinner at the local Sonic, we bedded down in the “luxurious” Charles Wesley Motor Lodge. I hereby refer to this decrepit, dilapidated hole in the wall as The Palace. While the outside sign drew our attention to newly renovated rooms, they were most definitely not referring to ours with its astonishing pink sheets, dingy brown drapes, broken locks, fluorescent lights, and lack of essential hair dryer and coffeemaker. At least I didn’t glimpse any resident bugs and the sink and tub did look sanitary.

Not quite as lovely as they make it out to be. *arches brow*

Their version of the room

Our actual room

Their version of a cushy chair

Our actual utilitarian chair put to good use

And really, it could have been much worse. This place looked even shabbier, and with a somewhat depressing name and a very disheartening pic...

Early Saturday morning, we fled the premises and before daybreak, headed west toward the Indian Nations Turnpike where we then headed north and home. While the landscapes were uplifting and revitalizing, and we most definitely dropped some serious cash (ok, Visa) purchasing vino, I’d be lying through my teeth if I said we also enjoyed gastronomic delights. After thoughtful deliberation I realized we had chowed down at Sonic, Taco Bell, Subway, and Mickey D’s, with Best Western’s nearby restaurant the only fast food exception. Nevertheless, it was great to get out of town and you’re all invited to Casa de Circe to experience the fruits of Okieland’s labors. ;)

Monday, October 22, 2007

Wine & Sex Tour '07

I’m back at work today after taking an extended four-day weekend hitting the southeast trails and celebrating an abbreviated Wine & Sex Tour 2007. Fall break at Chaos College started last Thursday and this year I took off both days to make up for losing my July vacation time thanks to the ill-fated car accident. After a stormy, water-logged Wednesday in which I managed be driving both to and from work when the angry, tempestuous fronts came through, conditions turned warm and sunny making for beautiful traveling weather. So let’s get started, shall we?

Day 1

Our first stop was Stable Ridge Vineyards on historic Route 66 in Stroud, Oklahoma. This lovely building was once a former Catholic Church and in its quaint and cozy tasting room, TBC and I sampled all the bounteous liquid offerings presented to us. I particularly enjoyed sampling Wine Thang.

Wild Thang – "It Makes Your Heart Sing." This is a fun wine for spring and summer. Slightly sweet blend of four distinct wines. Really good with spicy (Tex Mex) foods.

I also loved Jeremiah’s Red, a lovely crimson thirst quencher that tastes simply divine with dark chocolate.

Jeremiah’s Red - One of our most popular wines. It is wonderful blend of full-bodied red wines and Blackberry. It is a perfect dessert wine or for any occasion. It can be enjoyed alone or paired with rich dark chocolate or cheese cake.

After Stable Ridge, we headed down the road to Sparks Vineyard & Winery in charming downtown Stroud. They have a lovely banquet room right off the tasting area that features paintings done by Oklahoma artists. I couldn’t resist snapping a pic of a lovely wooden door that would have fit right in as a banquet room for King Arthur.

Our new tasting room is located at The Wine Village, downtown Stroud on Route 66. It is only a 15-minute drive away from the winery. The Wine Village tasting room is the result of renovating a near 100-year old building on the north side of Route 66 in the heart of Stroud.

By now I was feeling kinda tipsy and downright sentimental as we made our way toward our third and final stop for the day, the Grape Ranch. For a brief, passing moment, we traversed I-40 and much to my and TBC’s astonishment, I felt my eyes welling up with huge crocodile tears. When TBC turned to look at me and asked what was wrong, I loudly sobbed “I want to go home!” He knew precisely what was meant as I-40 East holds a very special place in my heart. It’s how we head for North Carolina’s Outer Banks and we haven’t made my favorite pilgrimage since the late ‘90s. (But we did fly there in ’02.)

The building housing the tasting room was nothing to write home about but the surrounding grounds were so picturesque and serene with grapevines, a trickling stream, and lovely back deck overlooking a pastoral orchard. Here I am basking in the bright sunshine, enjoying a delicious glass of vino. Wish I could remember which wine I’m happily imbibing but, what the heck.

Thursday night we stayed in McAlester at the Best Western. I had no idea McAlester was such a beehive of bustling activity (though there is Big Mac), but we were barely able to secure room lodging as the place was packed with people. The only room still available was a smoking suite, and though lovely, made for some unpleasant breathing.

Next up: Wine & Sex Tour—Day 2...