Sunday, October 28, 2007

The Great Quizitation

I’ve found my ginormous baby belly to be an attractor of less that desireable people. It’s like it’s a big neon sign for total strangers… and those which you’d rather not touch you… to feel compelled to spark up a conversation with you and ask all kinds of personal questions. Throughout this little pregnancy all kinds of total strangers have stopped me and asked all kinds of questions. When is your baby due? Do you know what you’re having? What are you going to name it? Is this your first? Are you going to breast or bottle feed? Are you going back to work? Are the kids excited? and the list goes on and on and on….

What prompts me to write this is the latest quizzer. The Wal-Mart greeter lady.

I walked in the door this weekend and was greeted by an unusually friendly greeter with her usualy “welcome to Walmart”… I smiled and grabbed a basket and proceeded on my way. She walked swiftly towards me and said “ohhhhhh… when’s it due?” (thinking IT is Lil November and I do not want to discuss this yet again! and especially with you!) I told her in a couple of weeks and tried to keep walking. She was smiling her gnarly toothed grin and kept right on going with the usual list of questions. Is this your first?! NO! Is it a girl or boy? Girl. And I keep going…. and she keeps following me! So, I stopped and turned to face her in hopes to shut her up so I can get on my way (I really hate Wal-Mart) and I’ll be darned if she didnt head straight for me with hands stretched out like she really was going to start rubbing my tum! There was no way in the world that Wal-Mart greeter lady was going to touch me! I grabbed my basket and darted away from her and she kept talking and asking questions. Are you excited? Yes! (you’d think with my one word answers and the fact i’m walking AWAY from her might let her know that maybe I dont want to make any sort of conversation with her… but she’s so excited she’s glowing). She finally tossed out another question and I just smiled and literally ran to the nearest bathroom to lock myself in a stall.

This close attack follows on the heels of another quizzing experience while exiting the baby doctor office building a week ago. Some strange (emphasis on strange) lady (minus about 4 front teeth) proceeded to quiz Richard and I. She started in with the same darn questions and even though we kept walking away from her she kept screaming out question after question and grinning from ear to ear with excitement like she was going to be a grandma or something. I'm not sure what she was doing... maybe a janitor that worked there or something, and was waiting for a ride.

Why do people think they can ask all these questions and don’t they realize that some of them are rather personal!?!? I know little babies are exciting and all.... but dang! Its nine (well, not actually because if you're lucky you can hide the baby bump for quite a while thus delaying the quizzitation experiences) months of constant questioning and its the same thing over and over. I should just have a pamphlet printed up with all the questions and my answers.. and just pass it out as i'm attacked by baby loving strangers.


egan said...

The "are you excited?" one was clearly my favorite one. It leaves you with no good options for a response. Sam Walton would be very upset with this greeter's behavior. Thanks for posting your answers here, now I don't have to ask them. Two weeks, yeah!

Kerry said...

You're welcome. I've also been asked.... How much weight have you gained!? Can you believe that!???? I make up answers for that one ;)

TC said...

Wow... OK, it's one thing to ask the questions, but to stalk you around Wally World??? Clearly that greeter belonged in a padded white walled room!

egan said...

The weight comment is when I would accidentally trip that person.

Bone said...

This is why I don't normally talk to people.

You could wear earphones so you couldn't hear. That's what I do when I'm running.