Saturday, October 13, 2007

Cold as Ice


It's almost the middle of October and it's finally cooling off at our soccer games. This fall season has been unusually warm. By this time, almost every year, we're wearing jeans and jackets and/or hauling blankets around to games, but so far we've been all decked out in shorts and flip-flops. Until this morning. It was a bit nippley outside!

I really hope that by Trick-or-Treat time gets here, its cool... well actually more than cool, but not freezing cold! I love it when its brisk and crispy cold outside for halloween!

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Luna Sea

My Avon (that I didn’t want to order in the first place) came in last week (ok, it is a very cute handbag but still…) and Flower Child called to inform me of this. I was indisposed at the time of her call so TBC had a nice, long chat with her regarding the current well-being of her hub/his cuz/Nutjob City. My last post left off with his four-day hospital stay (preceded by The Slammer), but he was then released back into the wild. Things had been fairly quiet—until that conversation proved otherwise. From the one-sided dialogue I overheard, peace has not reigned supreme by a long shot. Among several things discussed, I learned that he would like either TBC or TBC’s bro to purchase a handgun for him. Now that would be a stellar idea considering he’s crazier than a loon and a deadly weapon would be a nice addition to his (so far) unsupported, mostly verbal threats to society. I would think the innocents he terrorized might not appreciate his taking ownership of such an injurious weapon. Or the male bystander he got into a fight with and had in a headlock before his arrest. Or the inmate who had the gall to eyeball him upon his incarceration provoking yet another round of fisticuffs. And much to my utter disbelief, he’s planning on suing the jail for inhumane treatment suffered at their callous, controlling hands. Can you believe it? I guess it was fine and dandy for him to scare the living daylights (s**t) out of employees and patrons of the two establishments he frequented. I mean, he did threaten to kill people in the smoke shop and burn down the Quik Trip hence his banishment from both places, but it’s just not fair that he wasn’t handled with kid gloves as he was hauled off to the cooler or during his stay there. And by golly when he’s the proud owner of a Saturday Night Special, he’ll be darn sure no one serves him a heaping helping of whoopass without swift and possibly deadly consequences. Oh, and did you know his driver’s license shows he’s had “mental problems?” Mmm, yeah. Guess that explains his need to have an intermediary do the dirty work of purchasing a heater. Not that anyone is going to. I hate to sound harsh, but I think someone needs to spend time in a professional facility qualified to readjust mental balance. Either that or take their meds and return to a modicum of normalcy.

Today is my Friday as tomorrow I’ll be gone to our annual Staff Development Conference in the city. If you recall, last year (remember the clown noses we all sported?) we took several cars rather than all bunching up in one vehicle. This year the Exalted Poobah’s new assistant has offered to drive the maxi-van and promised us it will be an “adventure.” (!!!) Maybe she’ll drive us straight to a lively bar for drinks when it ends and we’ll be snockered subordinates mooning startled drivers all the way home. Hopefully, I’ll survive and have pics to post on Monday.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Nancy Drew

It seems like forever since i've written! This week has been so busy. Between work and tons of meetings, soccer, being homeroom mom of the year and studying for yet another test, i've barely had time to come up for air!

However, tonight while cooking dinner and whipping out chocolate chip cookies I was thinking about something. Always and forever I've had this gift... the gift of "knowing". I don't know how to explain it, but I can always sense when something is amiss or just not right. I get eerie feelings when something 'just isnt right' or when I need to make a quick exit. I've been able to sense when things are wrong with someone ... ok, well you get the idea.

Anyways... I've also been pretty good at detective work. I have to give credit to Chaos College for helping me perfect my deviousness because that place allowed me hours upon hours to perfect such an art form. Heck, there were times when the job even required me to do sly detective work!

I've caught vendors having nasty affairs, i've sniffed out friends (and some not-so-friends) in dating sights and online in various clubs or groups trying to recruite (oh lordy... I cant even list some of them) 'partners'. Somewhere down the line I've learned to think like that person and "go" to that place where they might be. Weird, huh!? It's fun finding someone... and knowing a little sumpin sumpin about them and watching them act totally innocent. Thinking you have noooo idea...

My next mission requires Night Vision Goggles as I will be performing this little task in person... I'm excited! Just gotta find the goggles....
However, I have a few other assignments up my sleeve. It also helps to have friends and techs in low places... hehe Connections, baby!

When I grow up I want to be a detective. I love this work!

Space Invader

We’ve recently had some staff changes and are the proud owners of two new warm bodies joining our ever-changing IT circle. The new guy who shall now be christened “Nep” (short for nepotism as his mommy is a friend of Grand Poobah’s and you cannot tell me that didn’t influence the decision-making process) just started this Monday. He may turn out to be a sheer pleasure and delight or possibly a trouble-making, rat bastard, but at this point, who knows.

Our other new hire is “T,” aka "Cowgirl." I found her somewhat annoying the very day she came to interview but I realize not everyone makes a great first impression. After all, she’s a fellow Northerner (Michigan), albeit a rural farm gal with an inordinate love of the equine set. In the last few weeks we’ve gotten better acquainted and though the jury is still out, I’m slowly warming up, or I was until last Friday when I got pretty hacked off. My goal each week is to get in a minimum of three hours of walk time and as my treadmill hasn’t worked in ages, I make good use of the work machines at noon during lunch. It's how I roll. Well, last Friday she asked directions to the feed store in this town (yeah, like I’ve ever set foot in one *eye rolling*) and where the post office (more up my alley) was located. No problem. Then she suggests the ludicrous notion of me taking her there. In MY car. And she wasn’t just scoping out the sites as she also needed to buy feed! Quite frankly I have no freekin clue how big a bag(s) we’re talking about but my willingness to help immediately fled the premises. For starters, I’m currently driving The Beast, (fodder for another day) and once I am parked I do not move this vehicle. Period. This four-wheeled machomobile takes a full minute to warm up, guzzles gas like nobody’s business, and as parking spots are currently at a premium, I’m not about to relinquish mine for any reason whatsoever. Plus, I would have squandered my entire lunch hour squiring the newbie about town and been minus a much-needed workout. She plans to join me in the gym in the very near future and this is fine and dandy but da 'etched in stone' rulz are:

  • I leave the office straight up noon.
  • I walk over to the gym and will continue to: a. while the weather holds out b. until I change cars.
  • I spend the full hour there; no leaving to grab a bite to eat.
  • My workout days vary wildly so there is no set day I go.

So, she is welcome to join me. Or not. Yesterday she tried to get on my good side by bribing me with yummy Sundried Tomato and Basil Wheat Thins but then this morning she negated all her progress by making the grave mistake of invading my space! This is an absolute no-no and will not be tolerated. Office personnel are well aware of this unwritten rule that one does not come around the desk to stand next to the assistant unless one is invited to do so. Damn rule breaker…

Monday, October 08, 2007


Well Oktobertfest has come and gone and the fall season is now official. The crowds were bigger than usual and though it was quite humid and we got sprinkled on a few times, the rain held off nicely. I wore sensible (read: non-slip) footgear which aided in keeping my ever-precarious balance and a much-desired low profile. I stuck to my guns and no feathered boas or powdery funnel cakes were purchased. It probably helped that they ran out of funnel cakes early on and no girly boas were to be found, but still... Wildly veering off the ethnic German theme, I munched on nachos rather than bratwurst. While they did serve Pumpkin beer, it was not very pumpkiny nor was it particularly alcoholicy. I bought the large plastic mug rather than the commemorative glass one but never really got a buzz going on. And it wasn’t just the pumpkin choice that lacked ooomph, as a bitterly complaining bro-in-law sampled most of them with the same weak results. I saw a few people I knew and a lot I didn’t. Flower Child showed up in all her boobtastic glory and joined our laid-back group reclining on the mound. The costumed polka band did more talking than playing and when they finally got down to brass tacks, the strains of the despised Chicken Dance were interspersed with the Pennsylvania Polka and Elvis tunes. (wtf?) Nevertheless, I wouldn’t miss this annual event for all the tea in China. Happy Gourds!

My shoes

My mug

View from the infamous mound

Her father's pleasant disposition