Friday, August 24, 2007

Puddle Jumper

It’s just been a pleasure coming to work this week. *heavy on sarcasm* Thankfully it’s finally Friday (though our ‘think tank’ is on the fritz yet again) and between the firm talk I had with myself regarding the necessity of continued and steady employment, and the promise that a pain pill would be promptly swallowed to induce don’tgivearatsassitis should the need arise, I am present and accounted for. Not that negotiating a trail to my building has been a cakewalk. For months now, two entrances have been walled off thanks to our continued renovations but the last few weeks have found yet a third opening a veritable obstacle course as we totter our way across the lawn vainly striving to avoid globs of mud and puddles on the sidewalk along with the acorns and dirt mounds on the grass thanks to the men and bobcats digging trenches and laying pipe in this area. And I'm wearing my stone-hued slacks today that now feature several suspicious symmetrical stains at the bottom. This leaves the fourth entryway that this morning featured a lovely cascading waterfall dripping down on unsuspecting visitors. Though aesthetically pleasing, I’m guessing they were less than thrilled that we require an additional hygienic shower before tending to their school-related needs. After all, cleanliness is next to godliness, ya know. I had hoped this would cut down on all the nagging whiners streaming into my office all week, but this tenacious bunch have shown fortitude and dogged determination and unfortunately have not been deterred by these varied obstructions blocking their path. And it’s raining this afternoon so those puddles will be muddy lakes by 5 pm. Though I long for a much needed respite this weekend, I've got a relatives wedding to attend Saturday and your faithful reporter plans to relate all the gory details next week. What a bumpy start to the insane fall semester!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Playing in Playa

While we were in Mexico, we hopped on the ferry and rode the short little jaunt to Playa Del Carmen. I've mentioned some of this before (we rented the squirrel cage and went to Tulum, etc). Anyways, after Tulum and various other activities... food became important. We decided to hit Senor Frogs on the beach and pig out on chips and salsa and all kinds of mexican food and drinks!

In Mexico, they grown grasshoppers the size of combines (I mean the ones we use here in Oklahoma to cut wheat!). Sheri was eating when she felt something on her back. She reached back to knock it off, and flung this grasshopper on the ground. She jumped up screaming. Just look at it! It's huge! The thing even drew blood on her finger! It kept moving around us, so we grabbed our cameras. It was an attack g'hopper too!

It (we) got the attention of the staff and the grasshopper became center of attention. It made its way to another customer... and the waiters took turn trying to pry the darn thing off the guys shirt.

They had the coolest bar stools. Here's Sheri and I in our stools. lol

Chick Magnet

I have heard from good authority that our favorite Food Mooch has kicked off his widow(er) weeds, having made a speedy recovery from the recent passing of his last spouse and is prowling for fresh blood, actively seeking a female replacement. It is at times like this that I value the wedding ring upon my finger as at one time he proclaimed to his esteemed colleagues in maintenance that I was the “prettiest gal at the college.” *retches* My buddy “J” and I practically placed bets on how long it would take him to jump headfirst into the proverbial dating pool and it seems we were eerily close to the mark. According to this reliable source, he’s already found and is pursuing a new honey and to this guy’s utter astonishment, she’s not completely repugnant looking. Both he and another coworker decided to do lunch at her place of employment and reported watching slack-jawed at the considerable hand-holding and hugging display. Her lack of hideousness had them both admitting a serious consideration of her date material possibilities should either be free. (Though I don’t think this is a substantial "bar raise" for them.) Whether she becomes the fourth Mrs. Food Mooch is anyone’s guess but the sheer fact he’s managed to find any female who doesn’t recoil in horror upon meeting his Royal Nastiness just boggles the mind. As has been discussed before, this is the kind of guy that makes people scratch their head in puzzlement as to how he has managed to snag spouse after spouse with alarming regularity. I know they say there is someone for everyone but how has he finagled three someones to bed and wed him? Why are susceptible women drawn like flies to this fly-drawing excuse for a man? It’s not his money as he’s dirt poor. It’s not his looks because he’s repulsive. And he has a rotten temper. I’ve witnessed van door slamming, noisy arguments and loud bellyaching to invisible protagonists much to the consternation of onlookers. And let me enumerate a few more obvious flaws lest we forget:

He’s fat and smelly. He’s retarded. He’s cross-eyed. He picks his nose (and scratches his gigantic ass for all I know) before digging into whatever foodstuffs he can find. (Remember the frosting licking and pecan scarfing incidents?) And he’s been known to pick "delectable" morsels out of the garbage can. He’s not picky about what gender wants to pleasure him. He’s ill-mannered and uncouth.

After much speculation and debate, the only possible explanation any of us can come up with is that he possesses a massive schlong and is dynamite in bed. What else could it possibly be? Of course, that raises the dilemma of how anyone gets past the stench to discover this elusive diamond in the rough. All I know is if he were the last male on earth, I’d turn lesbian before I’d get within a country mile of Mr. Suave and Debonair. Yikes!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I Might Need Two Diet Cokes Today

I had several blog topics on my mind this morning, and I sit down to start typing.... and I can't remember any of them!

I hate it when that happens!

I guess my mind is in overload. I've got too much going on, too many responsibilities and too much to prepare for.

Each morning I check MSN to see what the hot items of the day are and I noticed a link that said "are you depressed?" So of course, I clicked it and took the test. I scored waaaaaaaaay to the right. Deeply Depressed.

I immediately messaged my friend JJ and told him I scored majorly depressed... he said he does too. Every time he takes the test. However, we feel fine. Or, we think we do! We decided that we're fine... it's everyone else that's messed up. While I was at Chaos College he and I took those tests weekly and periodically we'd score so high that we needed to be institutionalized.

Sometimes, I think that wouldnt be a bad thing because then someone would cook and clean for me! I could just stare out my window and think about.... about all the crap I wasn't getting done because I was in depresso detox. Now, that's depressing too.

Maybe my other blog ideas will come back to me...

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Toxic Teddybears

Did any of you stay up for the Perseidiuses (yep, I made that word up) performance recently? Every year I vow I will drag myself out of bed and head for the great outdoors only to experience a last minute change of heart and snuggle back under the cozy covers, but this time good intentions prevailed. Not having the excuse of chilly weather or cloud cover, which has been the case in times past, at 4:30 am I sleepily shuffled back and forth between a patio chair and the hard concrete as I spotted approximately 20 fireballs flashing through the sky in their dazzling glory. Conditions were so favorable this year what with clear nights, no moon, and balmy temps that it was well worth the effort. Heck, I may even try for the November Leonids show!

Our Fantasy Football private league is fired up and raring to go. Our creative names run the gamut from sharks to fireballs (a fellow stargazer perhaps?) and ladybugs to marshmallows. If you recall from past years, my mediocre teams have been cursed with the designations Weasels of Destruction and Marauding Meercats but now that I’m over my rodent fixation, I’ve decided to try the Toxic Teddybears. Yeah, I’m sure that will spur them on to greater victory. Our private auction is Sept 1 and I’ve prepared by printing off the Sports Illustrated picks so here’s hoping I make a decent showing this year as I lead my guys to victory. Go Teddybears!

Once again a slithery serpent thought it wise and prudent to snuggle up to our sliding glass door and gaze longingly inside but thankfully he was unable to make his way in and TBC sent him on his merry way. Enough with the snakes already!!!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Rain Rain Go Away...

I didn't think I'd be saying this this summer.... but I'm so happy it rained yesterday and last night! It's stormed here most of the night and given us some much needed rain - even though we had 40 days and 40 nights of Monsoon season in June. Our weather also has been very in tune with what's happening down south. Hurricane Dean. That hurricane will most likely cause us quite a weather change as it's projected to hit Texas with quite a force and when that happens... we get some kickback from it.

Not only am I intrigued with the storm because of what will happen here in Okieland... but we just returned from Cozumel and it's supposed to hit Cozumel/Cancun at a category 4 or 5. It's so sad because the island looked so nice while we were there! They'd gotten it built back up from the huge hurricane years ago and now they are facing it again. I pray the hurricane turns and spares them... or at least lessens in intensity so the damage isn't so severe!

Those thoughts lead me to post a few pics of the beautiful beaches and sunset we saw while in Mexico. It's hard to believe that out of that beautiful sky.... comes a mean-@#$ storm!

We found a remote beach on the southern tip of Cozumel. It was beautiful! White sand, big waves and a little restaurant with a few little shops and a bar. People would be traveling and stop for a few minutes to take a swim and grab a drink...

My sis and I heading to the water...