Saturday, August 19, 2006

Friday, August 18, 2006

Talledega Nights

We're at the very loud races!

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Oh yeah!

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Live from S in the Park

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A male model kindly took a moment to display his flipside for me. Thanx B-Boy! ; )

Welcome Mat

First a hearty “Welcome Freshmen”!!! Woo hoo! Today unearthed lumbering hordes of wandering newbies with zombie looks and thumbs inserted significantly up their clueless arses traversing our lovely campus as they obtained schedules, investigated college clubs, checked out nearby vendors and enjoyed a juicy hot dog complete with all the trimmings. They can’t miss faculty and staff as we flaunt our clonelike t-shirts that boldly proclaim today FRESHMAN ORIENTATION ’06. (Can I get an amen?) The phones are ringing off the wall and at this point I don’t think I could recite my name, but nothing beats the countdown to a brand spanking new fresh fall semester! Forgive the short posts but utter pandemonium has reigned this entire week and it gets worse next week when classes commence. To make up for my lack of eloquent posting, I plan to mo-blog at a cultured function I will attend this evening. I have packed my folding chair and nippy bottle along with some dry Blackberry and Spiced Wine lovingly produced at Wyldewood Cellars Winery in Mulvane, Kansas, so come along with me as I share my delicious vino and fill you in on exciting and interesting tidbits here at Ground Zero. :)

I love Barbie so I’m finishing off the workweek with this…

The’s 5 Uses for 4,000 Barbie Dolls

5> Enough pins for 400 lanes of bimbo bowling!

4> Just in case Lindsay Lohan's case goes to trial, we'll have a jury pool of her peers ready.

3> Biggest audience ever for the talk show you co-host with your cat, Mr. Fluffles.

2> "Allah be praised! The 72 virgins are falling from heaven to us!"

1> Emergency airdrops to areas where young girls are woefully confident in their own body shapes.

TGIF darlings,

Insurance... Day Four

Her Majesty, The Most Unpleasant Sarah, called me back concerning my refund from my homeowners insurance policy. I called and left her a message yesterday with the whole long story of how i'm getting screwed.

Her message stated: We stopped payment on your $6 refund check because you stopped payment on your June 27 auto draft. There has been a new refund issued to you in the amount of $17 and the records show you should be receiving that shortly. I dont see where you should be owed another $97 in refund, so I'm not sure where you are getting that. I believe we've refunded all you are entitled to. If you have further questions you can reach me at blah blah blah.

Yeah, I stopped payment on that June draft... why the heck wouldnt I!? They even tried to draft my bank account again at the end of July! I'm surprised that I got the payment stopped in time. I just called my bank to see if the deposit had been made back to my account and sure enough, it was deposited back. Hallelujia! The reason why I was owed that money was because I thought they'd received the payment... nowhere has anyone tried to tell me any different.

AND if they are sending me a $17 refund.... guess I was right again. They did owe me more than $6.

I'd love to reach thru that phone and biatch slap some people.

I'm all happy now... and its Friday!!!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Our Goal

We exchanged the incomplete basketball goal stuff for a more complete package today and right after dinner Richard and C headed outside to start putting it together. They'd been out an awfully long time, so I decided to check on them (grabbed my camera too because you just never know when there might be a kodak moment and I sensed one was happening).

I was right. C was 'supervising' the work. Plopped in a lounge chair. Not only has it gotten dark on them, its hot and muggy and the instructions in the manual aren't right. On one page it tells you to do one thing, on the next it reverses it.

Lots of frustration... so I nabbed a few pics and ran back in the house just like a good wifey would do :)

Nothing but Rim

I just thought...

Last night we went to Academy to purchase a basketball goal for our house. We all like to go outside and play Pig or a little one-on-one and this is the one thing we've really missed from our old house. We make the purchase and load the goods up in the MM and take off across town to our house.

We unload the box and start pulling the pieces out. We have the backboard, the net and rim, the base, some hardware of some sort... but something seems odd. No poles. Well @#$%! We get to wondering if maybe they were an extra item. We pull the instructions out and start digging around for the parts list. Sure enough.... right there it says 'includes poles'. DAGNABIT!

We threw it all back in the box - as good as we could. At this point in time, it was too late to call or go back to the store. This morning I call them to see if there maybe is another box we failed to pick up... nope. It all comes in the same box. SO we have to load the dang thing back up and take it back to the store to get another basketball goal - hopefully complete with all hardware.

I say all that because I was sitting here fuming about the insurance deal and I got to chuckling because that happened to us last night and then I realized that i'd worn a shirt that said "Lick it up, Life is good" or something like that. It had popsicles on it.

I've got a jacked up basketball goal and an insurance company that has no record of ever having a policy on me (yes, i just got off the phone and they have zero record of me. Ever).

Getting a diet coke....

Insurance ... Day 3

Today is the third day i've tried to call my insurance agent and speak to him about this refund disaster. He's out of the office. Imagine that. He's either been 'out of the office' or 'on another line' every time I've called. He doesn't respond to emails either.

So, Ms I-have-no-idea Secretary answers today and I tell her, again, that I want to talk to him. I get the whole 'not in' story and I explain to her that this is Day Three and i'm not calling him anymore. So I ask for the home office phone number. She fumbles around for a bit (I can hear her Oakridge Boys music) and comes back to the phone and with a slight 'i'm gonna giggle a bit and hope that what i'm fixing to tell her doesnt make her go ballistic on me' laugh, says... "you aren't going to believe this! Your insurance company is the only one that I don't have any information on!"

Imagine that.

Well, while little Ms was off tootling around her day old donuts and old coffee cups I was googling that company and had already found the email address to Human Resources. I told her "no problem, i've already found HR and i'm writing them an email right now. You tell him that i've called for three days and he really needs to call me back - i'm contacting human resources right now."


Then she says "oh. oookkay." I'm wondering if she's even given him the messages!

ok... well he just called. She gave him that message.

I've got phone numbers now :)

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Music to My Ears

I got my Mountaineer back!

Early this morning I was working away at another location when I got a call... 'Kerry, your Mountaineer is ready for you to pick up'. The voice on the other end was the most angelic sounding male voice. I was so excited I almost pee'd myself. Two weeks in this great-grandma car, as C and P put it, has been trying. I was used to riding high on the road, then i went to a no power, hollowed-out bucket seat with limited lumbar support, silver, beggars can't be choosers, Ford Taurus.

I'm so excited to be back in my ride! It drives better than I remember. Its tight - you guys would love it. *snicker* Or maybe that Taurus was just loose in steering and heaven forbid I was getting used to it, but this sure drives better than I remember. I think i'm just so excited about getting it back... its probably worse or just as good and i'm blinded by the thrill of it all!

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Serving table

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Too much flesh flapping in the breeze

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Live from the ice cream social in cafeteria!

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Baby girl got her MM back!

West World

Most mornings after I groggily stumble out of bed, hit the shower, and down my coffee and yogurt while relaxing on the sofa, my drowsy peepers are treated to U.S. Marshals, united half-brothers, nefarious bad guys, Hollywood’s version of authentic cowboy attire, and rustic scenery. Why you ask? Because rather than gritty, informative news greeting my sleepy eyeballs, I am forced to view shoot‘em ups and rowdy bar fights as two full hours of intensive cowboy viewing rules the airwaves. Not a workday goes by that TBC doesn’t have his favorite category of show switched on. When I was rousing at 5:30 am, I was greeted by Marshal Dillon, Festus and a slew of ne’er-do-wells but now that Chaos College has returned to its regularly scheduled hours, I am catching Bonanza featuring the family that sticks together like stink on an unwashed vagrant.

Growing up found my considerably outnumbered dad forced to view Chick TV as the fussy females much preferred sitcoms and funny movies. All that changed when testosterone-fueled TBC started introducing me to TV, western-style. At any rate, I’m too sleepy to fight the tide so I meekly watch his morning choice and hold my tactful tongue. ;)


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How I am spending my morning

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Richard - Washing down Outback

The Haunting of Houses Past

Although we've sold the other house - signed, sealed and delivered. It's still haunting me. The day we closed on the other house, I called and cancelled the homeowner's insurance. They mailed me a paper to sign, I received it a few days later and I signed it and tossed it in the mail. Done deal.... right? Apparently, wrong.

That was the first of June.

The end of June I notice another auto withdrawal from my bank account for my house insurance. I immediately called my agent and asked him 'whatsup with that?' and he said that my parents had to run down and sign a paper for me because I never got him the one he mailed (BS i say) and that the withdrawal was taken out before he got the signed papers. BUT I should be getting a partial refund from the first overpayment and I should be getting this accidental withdrawal back too. He tells me it just takes a little while for the paperwork to go through.Within a few days a receive a partial refund of $6. I cashed the check and called my bank to put a stop payment on any future auto drafts that might come from that company (cover my arse just in case 'the paperwork' hasn't gone through yet again). I sit and wait... wait ... wait... for my full refund from the June accident.

I wait patiently all through July.

It is now August. Last night I saw a withdrawal in my account for $6. I called the bank today to see what in the heck that could be. They at first tried to tell me I must have made a $6 withdrawal at an ATM. Like heck, I say! So, they pushed on... then found that 'It looks like an insurance company stopped payment on a check and since you'd already cashed it, we had to get it back so we took the amount out of your account'. *I am boiling mad*I sweetly told her thank you... its not their fault.

I immediately called for my insurance agent and as luck would have it - he is NOT there. I got ahold of his secretary, who doesn't know shit from shinola, and left a message. This is ridiculous!!! Please forgive any mispellings or grammar errors. I am not rereading or spellchecking. I'm boiling over this deal.

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My new addition

Perfect Present

A dear faculty buddy surprised me today with an unexpected decorative lamp picture of a lovely shining beacon. If you took a glimpse in my office/IT reception area you would see it is plastered with exquisite miniature lighthouses, so this fits in perfectly with the d├ęcor I’ve got going on.

Though our gym is technically off limits this week, it hasn’t stopped determined gym rats as we defy orders and utilize the facilities at noon. Today found four perky blondes strolling around the indoor track under the watchful eye of iron-pumping, snaggletooth guy.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19
You will struggle to live down a particularly embarrassing incident this week after you're caught in public with the rest of your small, backwards town.

The’s 5 International Ways to Leave Your Lover

5> Lock her in the john, Juan.

4> Ditch her at the Kabuki, Teruyuki.

3> Knock up another chick, Mick.

2> Tell her you're gay, Jose.

1> Just show her that sore, Thor.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Big Droplets

It's raining!!!

I'd totally forgotten what water falling from the sky felt like. Tonite while I was at the gym, the sky got dark and scarey and lightning started sparking, the winds picked up and the dust storm started blowing... then came the rains.
Hallelujia! Hallelujia! Weeeee got R A I N!

Pressure Cooker

The lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer are quickly receding in the real view mirror of life as Chaos College ramps up the insanity in preparation for the giant fall semester which begins the 21st.

Division chairs are back today and the entire faculty arrives tomorrow but today I noticed several plain ole faculty cruising our hallowed corridors. One in particular always has his substantial family in tow. It reminds me of a ‘people train’ considering the number of humans closely following right behind him. Holding the youngest and leading this multi-sized and gendered crew, he is immediately followed by his heavy-set spouse who is in turn followed by the kiddos. Can this guy not make a move without the whole gang trailing right behind? I’ve heard of henpecked but this is ridiculous!

My state is what???

Whole Lotta Shakin' Going on in Ohio
MENTOR, Ohio (AP) -- A corner of suburban Cleveland has become the earthquake capital of Ohio, shaking on average every two weeks since New Year's Day and making people wonder: What's next?

The’s 5 Web Acronyms We'd Like to See (Part II)

5> IAARWIDLWMP: In an alternate reality where I don't live with my parents.

4> YSHICWTM: You're so hot I came without touching myself.

3> ADHD: I'm sorry, what were you saying?

2> TTYNPMRFBTP: Thanks to your nudie pix, my right forearm's bigger than Popeye's.

1> GGTBCOMFD: Gotta go -- the baby's choking on my flash drive.

Nascar Driver in Training

Yesterday, my friend Becky called and asked us to meet her and her son at Wal-Mart to check out the Nascar simulator. After standing in line for an hour and watching all the kids try it (including Richard who finished the game in first place) she harped on me... they all did... about hopping on and playing.

I didn't want to because a) I had a dress on and b) I forgot to put underwear on and c) they stress me out. After many minutes of pressure, I finally gave in. The little guy working the unit didn't want to put the harness on me because of the skirt but I made him to it anyways because that thing turns and tilts with the 'road' and you can fall out.

I didn't realize Becky was taking pictures. I was totally engulfed in the game... sweating bullets and white knuckles.

This morning, I get to work and a mass email was sent out with this message:

So, I was in Walmart yesterday, doing a little shopping and Blake said, “Hey mom, the Coke Nascar simulator is here – but there’s some crazy lady who won’t let anyone else have a turn!” See attachment…

She had attached this picture to the email.

Calm as a Cucumber

On my way to work this morning I called mom to inquire about her arrival at my house today to pick up my weekend houseguest. C's little buddy from way off spent the weekend with us and my parents are going to take him home. There was lots of conversation... blah blah blah... but what she says in the end is what got me.

Richard and I stayed with my parents friday night because we had scheduled a really late night with a big group of my friends and driving home at 3am just didn't sound too inviting. So anyways Saturday morning we hung around and chatted with mom and dad for a bit before heading back to the city. Mom says ' your dad and I were talking about this after you guys left on Saturday. We've never seen you so relaxed and easygoing. You guys look so happy!' Well, I am. This past year with Richard has been fantastic! Its amazing how the person in your life affects you (good and bad) and Richard is definately a plus. For the first time ever in my life I feel relaxed and happy with, well everything.

We go well together. Like bread and butter, chocolate and peanut butter, chocolate and strawberries, chocolate and.... ohhh a diet coke!