Saturday, January 13, 2007
We probably should have been staying inside and avoiding the dangerously slick roads, but I had a hankerin'...
The Topfive.com’s 20 Bad Suspense Novel Metaphors or Similes
20> Worn down at the edges like a
Times Squarehooker, the
caretaker's last tooth lay on the floor like a yellow Chiclet.
19> When she stepped out of her dress, she had the body of a
90-year-old nun, if the nun looked as young, attractive,
and sexy as the dame standing in front of me.
18> The situation had become topsy-turvy -- like Christmas in the
summer, if you're in
17> The information imbedded on the stolen computer chip was like
an explosive so explosive it could explode, creating a massive
16> As I watched through the slatted shades, her bosom bounce like
her suspicious husband's first check.
15> The killer was a misplaced comma in the jaunty, happy sentence
that made up the party crowd.
14> His face looked like an ice sculpture. Not one of those
pretty ones in the middle of a cruise ship buffet, but the
kind they do in a contest with a chainsaw -- and it had been
out in the heat too long.
13> Like any family, this house had its secrets, secrets it grimly
refused to reveal, and would continue to refuse to reveal even
if it could speak, which unlike a family, or at least most
members of most families, it couldn't.
12> The air of danger perversely made Nina's nipples harden,
like that Magic Shell stuff on a bowl of ice cream.
11> From his vantage point in the balcony, the would-be assassin
looked down on the debating candidates like a webhead looking
down on an AOL user.
10> The sudden darkness made the Countess tense, like Bobby Jerome
that time with the bicycle in 7th grade, remember?
9> There was something funny about the kidnapping crime scene
that Special Agent Frievald couldn't quite place, and the
thought stuck with him throughout the rest of the day,
like those tiny little bits of the circumferent skin from
the bologna slices on a foot-long Subway Cold Cut Trio that
get stuck in between the last two molars on the upper left,
on the tongue side where you can't possibly reach them with
a toothpick, your fingernails, or even a systematically
straightened paper clip, they just sit there and make every-
thing you eat at your next meal taste vaguely like vinegar
and mayonnaise, and then somehow -- quietly but miraculously
-- they disappear by themselves in the middle of the night
while you're asleep, just like the visiting Countess appeared
to have done.
8> Her parting words lingered heavily inside me like last night's
7> The bullet burned Gilmore's gut like the first piss after a
long night in a
6> A single drop of sweat slowly inched down
's brow -- Chad
a tiny, glistening Times Square New Year's Eve Ball of
5> His .38 barked fire, like John Goodman's butt after a chili
4> Her blazing eyes dance like Astaire and Rogers, but since they
were crossed, it was an ocular tango, and my eyes had to
foxtrot just to maintain eye contact.
3> She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled, and
the gun she was holding gave me a bad case of barrel envy.
2> The neon sign reflected off his gun, like the moonlight
reflects off my brother-in-law's bald head after a night
of beer drinking and cow-tipping.
1> Unable to contain his rage, he burst like a pimple of emotion,
the pus of his fury streaking the mirror of calm in the
bathroom of his life.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Tonite, C and I headed right around the corner to grab a sandwich... walked in the door and immediately this chubby girl (green shirt) said 'we're closed'. No Hello, i'm sorry but we're closed, kiss my foot or nothing! I stopped dead in my tracks and repeated 'you're closed!?' YES! she says. C and I headed back out the front door... I turned and double checked the hours because I knew it couldn't be that late. I just left the gym and it was roughly 8pm. Closing time was clearly posted as 10pm! I noticed the Open sign was off.
We hopped in the MM and sat there discussing our next move. It made no sense that they were closed. There was a guy inside paying for his purchase and it's 8:15pm. A little car zips up next to me and a guy hops out and runs inside. I said 'watch this!' to C and we sat there... watching and waiting. He was all spiffied up like maybe he was the owner or maybe he was an insurance agent. lol Sure as shiat! He walked up and ordered!
Now, my blood is boiling. Chubby girl in green shirt walks over and turns the Open sign on! I turned off the MM and told C 'get out! we're going in!' I waltzed in the front door and very clearly and loudly said 'SO! Are you open or are you closed!?' Chubby girl in red shirt said 'we're open... blah blah blah blah' some explanation about how they had an emergency and she wasnt supposed to be there because she's injured but she's working and someone didnt show or some crap. Basically they were having employee problems and they were just going to close the place down and go home.
C ordered his sandwich and told red shirt girl what he wanted... turkey, cheese, lettuce and tomato... Green shirt girl (very snippy I might add) said 'we don't have any tomatoes'. Red shirt girl (who is somewhat trying to smooth things over) silently went to the back of the store and brought out a whole hand full of sliced tomatoes! I just glared and chubby, irritating, green shirt girl. We paid for our sandwich and two drinks (actually, she gave us one of the drinks free because of the trouble we went through) and headed out the front door. As I jumped in the MM, chubby green shirt girl walked over to the Open sign and turned it off again.!!!
That is the third time I've been in that Subway... and each time something catastrophic has happened with the employees. Its a shame too.. its a brand new Subway, great location, very clean... awesome potential! They are ruining it....
A complete 180 from what it's supposed to be like late tomorrow. Our weather guy (you choose... whichever one you watch) has been warning us of rain, then ice, then snow beginning late tomorrow afternoon. The temperature will be in the 20's by 6pm tomorrow!!! So... guess that means I'll be house bound (somewhat) this weekend. Besides a basketball game, I guess I'll work on some insurance stuff, maybe work on taxes, watch a movie, clean on my house and hopefully get some time to update the links on our site. I think some of our little blogger friends have just given up and taken a permanent vacation!
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Last week when five workdays were compressed into three and everything was building up to the grand climax we here at
Today marks our 9 month anniversary! I've always been told that the first year or two is the hardest... and it's been nothing of the sort! We've laughed and had the best time whether it be alone, with family or with friends... even with total strangers! You are a fantastic husband, an outstanding dad, and my very best friend. I thank God that the events in our lives and the highways that we chose to venture down, brought us together. I wouldn't trade any of it!
I love you...
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Well, to kick start our new semester which began yesterday, we have one of our dwindling IT people missing after having his jaw broke in a bar fight this past weekend. Yes, dear GFR managed to anger some guy in a local dive resulting in a sucker punch to the face and an unplanned emergency trip to the hospital. He had surgery yesterday and won’t be gracing our hallowed halls this week and possibly not the next. I left work yesterday with a tremendous headache and though I know the drill for the first insane week, I am already having to psyche myself up just to arrive here. To add to the fun, our think tank, (aka quiet place to get away from it all and hide), er, upstairs ladies potty is out of order and we are forced to make the extended trek downstairs to use the general public bathroom. I found myself sharing cramped space with Psycho and Water Buffalo this morning. Yikes! Also, we went to portals on our website and the students have no clue that the hyperlink to get their demographics is now at the bottom of the page as opposed to the top. This has created an untenable situation and generated frantic calls and mass confusion. *sigh* I would love to give you the longer version of my day but the natives are restless and work and everyone else under god’s freekin' creation is calling me. Ciao for now. :)
Monday, January 08, 2007
Richard finally dressed and ready to go... I fixed his crooked bow tie after the picture ;)
The wedding party. Her dress was white with black stitching and the accent color was red. The entire thing had a 20's feel to it.
One of the kiddos took this picture of us at the reception.
When the bride and groom leave for their honeymoon, most (or they used to) have rice thrown, Dale and Judy had bottles of bubbles. The only thing is, by the time they got ready to leave... everyone else had already left. It was Richard and I and about 4 other kids (and a couple of adults stuck inside) that got about 100 bottles of bubbles to play with. The big kids had the most fun.... as you can see. :)