Friday, February 22, 2008

Jamaican Me Crazy

Just thought I would share a few random closing thoughts on Jamaica. (Aka “The DR But in English with Left-Sided Driving.”)

  • I learned that nocturnal lizards come out at night and indulge in reptilian revelry all their own. Our balcony morphed into Lizard City when the sun went down.
  • This time around I made sure to pack duplicate makeup so that if I lost any, I was covered. Literally. (Remember my emotional meltdown in the DR when I misplaced my coverstick and the hapless Dominicans were forced to view my undereye circles?) Oh the horror.
  • TBC took ogling duty to new heights as he kept eagle eye tabs on the topless, suntanning European women flaunting their upper assets while lazing on the lounge chairs. He was constantly on patrol, walking from one end of the property to the other as he scrutinized the female persuasion for exposed nippage. I now refer to our vacation as BoobWatch ‘08.
  • Americans were a small minority (Minn., Wyoming, Illinois, NY, Iowa, and of course Okieland) here at the RDCC. The breakdown seemed to be Brits, Germans, Canuckians, followed by Americans. One evening as the nightly show started, the imbibing mix was asked where they were from and when the USA voiced representation, a few in the audience booed. I was too far in the back to see who. While I was not overly surprised, I felt it extremely rude and uncalled for. And I was pretty pissed. And that said...
  • Iowan males are obnoxious, complaining loudmouths. Not all American males, and certainly not all Iowans but this fact unfortunately held true in the case of those guilty few staying at our resort. (Though I'm certain this had no relationship to the boo factor.) Nevertheless. Tsk!
  • Once again, grinding poverty contrasted wildly between the ‘haves’ enjoying resort amenities while sequestered inside the sheltering resort and the ‘have-nots’ outside the security-guarded walls. Such glaring disparity. Very sad.

And finally, after enduring tornadoes, fog, snow, torrential downpours, and pestilence on our homebound trek, I wearily stumbled into my bathroom at 2:30 am Sunday to find the wastebasket overturned, the rug a rumpled mess, and a hardened, kitten-sized dump awaiting discovery in the bathtub. I suppose it was Cami’s way of saying: “Welcome home, Mommy!”

Thursday, February 21, 2008

End to the Madness

It brings me great joy, and at the same time a tear to my eye, to announce that next week is my final week of bootcamp. Unless I sign up again.

I've almost successfully completed my month of buttkickin' bootcamp and although Orientation sucked ARSE big time and I wanted to vomit and quit... I've really enjoyed going to class and making new friends. I also have more energy and have pushed myself to levels that haven't been challenged since the days of Coach Pain at Chaos College.

Drill Sgt Dave announced last night as Bring a Friend night. I took two. Well, one was my sister. Does that count as a friend!? I had an extra to spare just in case someone was missing their friend. He had some other chick - who I'd never met a day in my life - teach the class. I should mention that I really don't care to ever see her again either. She was a Biatch and bossy and in your face and loud and rough. I was sick of listening to her scream. Drill Sgt Dave is loud and bossy and in your face and blowing that damn whistle.... but he's motivating and fun and smiles while he does it. I missed him! She wasnt a very good person to put out front while we had visitors. My visitors wanted to barf. Most of the visitors looked pale actually... and the guy that was opposite me on most of the circuit training would stop dead in his tracks and be just white as a ghost and seconds away from passing out smooth on the sweat dribbled floor.

Afterwards, my friends said they liked it and would like to try it. HOWEVER only if it started slower and gradually advances. It does... and they got brought in on week 3 and that's where we're kicking out 300 jumping jacks in a minute. It's terribly fast. I asked the dude (opposite me) if he was going to join next month.... "OH HEALLLL NO!" lol

Next week will be sad. I hate to see it end, but i'm ready to take a break.

Just Like Living in Paradise

This must be just
Like living in paradise
Just like paradise
And I don`t want to go home.

--Just Like Paradise, David Lee Roth

Rather than spouting endless superlatives along the lines of “gorgeous,” “breathtaking,” and “magnificent,” I think I will mostly let the pictures speak for themselves. (But Jamaica was indeed beautiful!)

Our Resort--The RDCC

Our Building

Our Fav Waiter, Winston (what a cutie)

Our Fav Security Guard, Kevin

View from a table at the buffet

Massage Huts (yes, we both had one!)

One of the coves at sunset

Looking toward the individual huts at sunset

View from our balcony

Lush and tropical

The Caribbean from our balcony

Life-size chess board

The Swing Bar--Our favorite!

Yours truly

As you can see, it was hard to leave this lovely place. Wrap-up tomorrow..... :)

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Re: Earthgirls

Love amongst the stars is every 'valley' girls dream and for Valerie (Geena Davis) it's a dream come true when love literally crash lands into her life in the form of intergalactic hardware plunging into her pool. For the three amorous aliens at the helm (Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey and Damon Wayans), the sight of an 'earth girl' in the shapely form of Valerie had proved too arousing, letting controls get out of hand.

One evening after a day of relaxing sun and fun, we happened to catch this enjoyable romp from 1988 on the screen. My viewing delight, however, was tinged with sadness knowing that Charles Rocket had committed suicide in 2005. Is it me or is/was Jeff Goldblum a serious hottie contender? Those eyes, those lips, that smoking bod. Rwwrrrr!

Jamaica pics paired with a brief synopsis should be on tap by Friday but today I will leave you with this profound quote:

Waste your brain; wax your board; pray for waves.

--From Woody in Earth Girls Are Easy

Monday, February 18, 2008

I's Returneth

Hello my darlings! Hugs and kisses to all. *smoochy smooch* Did ya miss me? (Please lie through your blogger teeth and give me a big ole "hell ya!") I'm playing catch up on the comp today and getting through a billion emails. Woot! You wouldn't think being gone for just a week would be that bad, but it is. Jamaica was wonderful and it was hard to leave, but I guess one cannot stay in paradise indefinitely. (with the exception of Trouble.) Such is life.

I had a fantastic time in Jamaica and came back with a lovely tan. I made sure to slather on the sunscreen so this lily white skin would not suffer unduly. Yes, I do look kinda red in this pic but the camera is deceiving though god knows my hair looks like crap here. It may take awhile for all the fruity rum cocktails (and wine) I downed to dissipate but it sure was fun while it lasted. I can’t seem to get the reggae tunes that blared from the loudspeaker at the jetty bar out of my head either. Anyway, I do know I’m not sorry I missed all the accreditation crapioca stress and now things shall return to the usual, normal chaos.

I could so get used to 80 to 85 degrees every day. At least there wasn't snow on the ground when we got back in Saturday night, but we had to deal with severe storms in Houston and the planes all got delayed resulting in a midnight Tulsa return and a very soggy drive home. It was 2:30 am by the time we pulled into the carport and even later when I got to bed. I was dead tired yesterday but feeling pretty good today. Pictures will be posted later this week. Ya mon!

This is the Life

Due to downsizing, i'm staying at home now! HIP HIP.... HOORAY!!! Actually I think it was more that Fat Bastard worked his weenie ways and convinced the powers that be, that he should be in charge of the techs. So... they offered me a programming position (website, online apps, etc), but I turned it down. That's not my thing. I can't stand to be stuck behind a computer all day - unless its for email and chatting! lol My personality needs to be up running around. I'm a mover and a shaker, baby!!!

I'm happy as a lark being home. I sign my severance package tomorrow!