Friday, February 22, 2008

Jamaican Me Crazy

Just thought I would share a few random closing thoughts on Jamaica. (Aka “The DR But in English with Left-Sided Driving.”)

  • I learned that nocturnal lizards come out at night and indulge in reptilian revelry all their own. Our balcony morphed into Lizard City when the sun went down.
  • This time around I made sure to pack duplicate makeup so that if I lost any, I was covered. Literally. (Remember my emotional meltdown in the DR when I misplaced my coverstick and the hapless Dominicans were forced to view my undereye circles?) Oh the horror.
  • TBC took ogling duty to new heights as he kept eagle eye tabs on the topless, suntanning European women flaunting their upper assets while lazing on the lounge chairs. He was constantly on patrol, walking from one end of the property to the other as he scrutinized the female persuasion for exposed nippage. I now refer to our vacation as BoobWatch ‘08.
  • Americans were a small minority (Minn., Wyoming, Illinois, NY, Iowa, and of course Okieland) here at the RDCC. The breakdown seemed to be Brits, Germans, Canuckians, followed by Americans. One evening as the nightly show started, the imbibing mix was asked where they were from and when the USA voiced representation, a few in the audience booed. I was too far in the back to see who. While I was not overly surprised, I felt it extremely rude and uncalled for. And I was pretty pissed. And that said...
  • Iowan males are obnoxious, complaining loudmouths. Not all American males, and certainly not all Iowans but this fact unfortunately held true in the case of those guilty few staying at our resort. (Though I'm certain this had no relationship to the boo factor.) Nevertheless. Tsk!
  • Once again, grinding poverty contrasted wildly between the ‘haves’ enjoying resort amenities while sequestered inside the sheltering resort and the ‘have-nots’ outside the security-guarded walls. Such glaring disparity. Very sad.

And finally, after enduring tornadoes, fog, snow, torrential downpours, and pestilence on our homebound trek, I wearily stumbled into my bathroom at 2:30 am Sunday to find the wastebasket overturned, the rug a rumpled mess, and a hardened, kitten-sized dump awaiting discovery in the bathtub. I suppose it was Cami’s way of saying: “Welcome home, Mommy!”


グラント said...

Americans are often viewed as loud and boorish, but for a real lack of manners see: the rest of the world. Somehow people from every other country seem to see no conflict between claiming they have more manners than us AND publicly criticizing us when they discover our country of origin. You should have shouted back "You're just jealous of our freedom!" :p

weatherchazer said...

Didn't you just feel the love from Cami? :)

TC said...

Lovely welcome home present :)

Being from Wisconsin, I could have told you a long time ago what people from Iowa were like O:)

Circe said...

Grant--I know, I know. I made sure I was gracious and pleasant as I try to do no matter where I visit. I'm hoping my jumping up and flouncing off sent some kind of (that I'm a quick-tempered beotch?) unspoken message. I don't think we need, or deserve that kind of reaction.

Weather--I did! I did! She's also the only kitten we've had that manages to completely miss the litter box when peeing!!!

TC--I'm going to be on the lookout for that state's residents from now on. And I'll start handing them warning tickets for unacceptable behavior. :)

Eileen Dover said...

Welcome back, and such BEAUTIFUL pictures! I was completely envious by, oh, the third picture.

And seriously, as an expat in the US, it pisses me off when people overseas are down on the US. I just think they're jealous.

Welcome back, I'll keep my poop to myself.

Kerry said...

That was pretty crappy of them to boooo! I'm surprised our Circe was able to keep her mouth shut and not jump back at them! It ticks me off when people slam the US. I agree.... i think they are jealous. We have a good thing here.

Bone said...

Hapless Dominicans. You crack me up, as always, Mz. Circe.

Circe said...

ED--I really should have been prepared for it but my face just registered total shock.

Ker--It was all I could do to keep from "starting an incident." I really had to calm myself down!

Bone--I may have been emotionally livid but at least my complexion looked flawless this time! :)