Saturday, October 07, 2006

Multimedia message

Multimedia message

Mango's

If you ever head to South Beach, Florida check out Mango's. Its an awesome restaurant/club that has tons of entertainment. The party gets started about 11pm and runs to 4am... it's open waaaaay before 11pm, but thats when it starts getting really good :) The waitresses and bartenders sing and dance on the bars and we even caught a trio of muscular hottie men dancing and stripping pieces of clothing off - our bartender was one of them! Of course, the ladies take their turn. I wish we'd taken more pictures there.... but we didn't. We did get a few video clips though.... i'll see about getting them up for viewing.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Last(ing) Luv


Finishing off our weekly special of "showin' love" are these two exquisite gems.
Call me crazy but I think she's showing more bare Ass than heartfelt Love but I could be mistaken....

Haunting Fun Times

The Bricktown Haunted Warehouse is having a sneak preview tonite, saturday and sunday. It opens for the haunting season on Friday the 13th.

Extra Attraction:
The Bricktown Haunted Warehouse has expanded with a whole new haunted attraction called “The Haunted Dungeon NOW !!!! in 3D”. A 3D haunted dark ride that is a terrifying journey through the basement depths of the warehouse with many horrifying scenes to gruesome to describe. All in the third dimension.

Do I dare try it this year!?!?

"Do I make you a little horny?"

The Topfive.com’s Ten Signs You're About to Be Dumped

10> "I think we should start seeing other people. And by 'we,' I mean 'I.' And by 'should,' I mean 'have been.' And by 'other people,' I mean 'your best friend.' I'll let you figure out what 'seeing' means."

9> On his return visit to the show, your beau jumps up and down on Oprah herself.

8> You ask your Magic 8 Ball if she's going to dump you and it says, "Signs point to a prolonged period of masturbation, Loser McDumpy."

7> You're pretty sure "Adios, bitch!" wasn't really the answer to every question on last night's "Jeopardy!"

6> She's removed you from her friends list on MySpace and her buddy list on AIM, and is currently attacking her tattoo with a cheese grater.

5> Your girlfriend changes her screen name from Suzie1981 to SuzieLez1981.

4> She keeps having strange men come in to try out your butt-groove on the couch.

3> She calls out another guy's name while making love.
To that other guy.
In your car.
While you're driving them to the airport.

2> She sits you down and starts the classic "It's not you, it's me" speech with, "It's YOU, asshole!!! All you, you, you, you, you! Oh, my God, it is soooooooo YOU!!"

1> "Hi, this is Dan at the suicide hotline. Just checking in. Feel free to call back anytime."

Aries March 21 - April 19
A whirlwind office romance will bloom today between you and that stunning spreadsheet that tracks all funded programs, their revenue sources, and the deductible services they provide.

I hope to mo-blog from Oktoberfest tomorrow and next week I will showcase ‘SEXY blinky crap’ for your eyeball-searing enjoyment. (You are wetting your ruffly panties in anticipation, I can tell…)
Have a terrific fall weekend...
Ciao darings! ;)

I Shaved my Legs for THIS?

First thing this morning by boss caught me with 'I need to speak to you'. Even though I knew nothing could possibly be wrong I still got this knot in the pit of my stomach and headed off to his office with him. He proceeded to ask me about the opening I have in my department and how the application process is going. Then, he hands me a piece of paper... I had been selected for a random breath alcohol test.

I hate those things! It's the biggest pain in the butt and I know I'm going to pass so I just don't know why they won't take my word for it. I also express all this to him... to which he laughs. haha

After our impromptu meeting I took off for the medical clinic and thinking since it's first thing in the morning and only 15 minutes after they have opened, this won't take long. Wrong. I signed in and took a seat next to a mechanic looking guy. This clinic is in the heart of Skanksville America where its probably possible to contract cooties simply by parking in the parking lot, however it's the clinic that works with the company's insurance... so here we are. Anyways, the seat by the mechanic guy looked the cleanest and the least threatening.

He coughed and girggled, I tried to watch a little bit of tv (but it hurt my neck too bad to crank it so far to the right) but found it more comforting to play with my cell phone. I logged into Yahoo! chatter and yacked away with a friend from Chaos College, text messaged my sweetie while he slaved away at work, and made a few phone calls to vendors and to the techs back at the office. This whole time mechanic guy is watching over my shoulder and I could sense him wanting to talk to me.

Sure enough he chimes in with this wait is taking forever. I certainly have a response to that, so I spark a little conversation with him. We chat a bit and I learn all about his two Harley's and two Honda's and the poker runs when he gets called to the back (lucky dog). Shortly afterwards, secretary girl deeply in need of a haircut, color job and use of much less mousse, calls my name. I have to leave a copy of my license and sign a few papers saying something... I turn to take my seat and some fat @#^%@#%@*% has taken it! The only and I mean the only place to sit is smack dab in the middle of two huge, dirty, nasty meanass looking gargantuan men!

I took a deep breath and nestled my tiny butt on about 1/2 inch of chair... being very careful not to scoot back so I didn't feel so squished amongst them. I prayed silently for God to please call my name... please send little nurse lady or short dark guy to call my name! I want to do this drug test NOW!

I peeled the label off my water bottle, picked at my finger nails, text messaged, tinkered with my shoes... anything to lean forward and stay busy!

Finally, little nurse lady called my name and with zero hesitation I was up and thru that door. Gleefully (too much for my irritated taste this morning) lead me thru all the hallways to her office where I would perform an alcohol BJ. On the wall was a sign about the BJ's they perform. Do you seriously think they dont get what that says?!?!? or am I the only dirty minded one? I blew and passed. I knew I would.

She asked if I had to wait long. My opportunity, and I took it. I told her how it had been over 2 hours and its a nasty mess out there. Of course the answer is always 'we're working short handed'... as was her answer. They had scheduled 12 to work and only 7 showed. That is too dang long to wait to do a breathilizer. After waiting in that room... its a wonder I didnt blow something... fumes, body oder, foot fungus, something of some sort.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Thurs Edition


I almost forgot to post my Thursday edition of makes-my-head hurt luvin'. Enjoy! :)

Meme—Grant Style

I was rummaging around my brain trying to think of an excellent post for today and stumbled across our favorite all-around nice guy *EG* Grant's contribution which in turn caused a dazzling lightbulb to twinkle above my head! Or possibly it was retarded blinky crap from Myspace… At any rate, here goes:

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Water Buffalo
(see former post)

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Fergie. I detest My Humps or Lumps or whatever the hell she’s caterwauling about, and I swear she is saying ‘latte’ not ‘London’ in her latest lame venture.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Water Buffalo for her oozing touchy-feelyness AND Fergie for her sucky lyrics.

4. What is your favorite cheese?

Brie I suppose.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?

I love BLTs. Chicken salad sandwiches would be next choice.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

Jon Stewart, or Conan O’Brien. Don’t know if they are any good in bed but they would keep me laughing, preferably not during the act itself.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?

Eminem. (LMAO)

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

I’ll make a doctor appointment to make sure I haven’t picked up any STDs.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you going to go?

Australia

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you going to do?

Use it to buy a few souvenirs.

11. A demon rises out of Hell and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...?

Demon (thanks, baby!) sure is generous. I’ll take wine--reds, whites, dry, sweet, sparkling. Definitely a goodly supply of Viva Bacco White from Ferrigno Winery in St. James, Missouri.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

Rufus???
I would like to visit the 1940s and wear the clothes and listen to big bands. Having said that I suppose I will find the nearest nightclub and listen to them live instead of on the vintage radio over the mantel.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

“Obey all rules.” Oh wait, that’s what Barney said on the Andy Griffith show.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?

"Circe Makeovers"

Each week I will take some poor, disheveled female slob in dire need of my skillful application of makeup, savvy eye for attractive hairstyles, and impeccable taste in clothing and Circefy her. :)

15. What is your favorite curse word?

Does ‘fucktard’ count?

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

After a deafening scream, I will turn over in bed in the soothing realization I was just experiencing a bad dream.

17. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the item?

Definitely my computer(s). I’ll have the desktop under one arm and the laptop under the other. Priorities, people.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?

Make love, preferably with an attractive, willing partner. (Any takers?)

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?

I’m going to stay forever young and beautiful while watching the rest of you turn into decrepit seahags.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?


I want to see my parents again.

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Getting married. Or getting cancer. It’s a toss-up.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool stuff... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?

Canada. (I have my reasons)

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?

I don’t go to bars so I’m not overly broken-hearted if they all ban me. I will just lounge here by the pool sipping my chilled alcoholic beverage of choice. (thankfully I chose wisely for Question 11!)

24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out... I can FLOAT!"?


Wouldn’t you like to know…. ;-)

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

Don Knotts. No one can replace reliable Barney Fife.

26. The Gates of Hell have opened, and Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My wonderful, terribly missed dad.

27. What's your theme song?

SOS by Rihanna.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Sweet Thing

While we were on South Beach, Richard was taking different pictures and messing with his camera... he asked me to pose. He kept tootling around and so I just sat down in the sand and waited on him. I didn't know he was snapping some pictures of me. This is my favorite....

Wednesday Wickedness


And here for your Wed viewing 'fiesta for the eyes' is moi showin' you some L O V E! (Blogger detests this one sooooo much, it bans its blinky glory even when image is clicked!)
*saucy grin*

TomKat's Dark Side

All I ever see Tom and Katie in anymore is black. If it's not black, its dark... and might as well be black. Black/dark clothes and big black sunglasses. Am I wrong that its not right to wear brown books with black clothes... that are black from head to toe?

I'm wondering about them... you know he was in those vampire movies... hmmm...

and.... It appears as if he has man boobies!?

Blah Blah Blah


Well this has just been quite the week so far. I have suffered from alternating allergy/sinus crap with today being a nice even split featuring glazed, watery eyes and sneezing this morning and dizziness and pressure this afternoon. And to add to my woes, I was labeled a Dizzy Blonde! *arches brow at F* Yesterday I careened my way down our private hallway in search of the water cooler, trying desperately to avoid bonking into the walls as I veered pinball-like back and forth in my effort to remain upright. When attempts were made to specify on our bulletin board my expected location first thing this am (eye doc to pick up a contact lense), I could actually feel the pressure in my ears changing. Prescription meds keep me up all night with their powerful decongestant and the over-the-counter Claritin didn’t faze my symptoms one iota so I gave up and took plain aspirin. Sure wish it would cool off, rain or both. As I’ve mentioned before, hot, dry, and windy conditions simply wreck Ms Circe’s physical well-being let alone cheery disposition.

Remind me not to deposit my laden plate anywhere near Water Buffalo’s vicinity when attending employee functions in the cafeteria area. To put it mildly, she suffers from an acute case of what my dear dad termed ‘diarrhea of the mouth.’ While the rest of my little group quietly ate their delectable choices from the buffet table, our ears were relentlessly assaulted by loud, annoying verbiage issuing forth from Mz Chatty Cathy. We all politely listened to her endless blather about nothing and at the first opportune moment I jumped up, excused myself, and fled the room. I was also afraid a certain VP in attendance known for his long-winded speeches might take advantage of the hapless, cornered attendees and regale us with whimsical tales unrelated to the purposeful reason we were gathered together—a favored colleague’s retirement.

It was bound to happen. TBC was presented his very own cell phone four weeks ago and yesterday managed to forget he had one, leaving it on the pickup truck thereby sending it hurtling off upon engagement of said vehicle. Can we say ‘oops’? After retracing his tracks, he discovering the poor darling shaking and crying by the side of the godforsaken road and immediately snatched it up and recovered it. I imagine a sordid tale of neglect and ill-treatment would pour from its metal mouth if it could speak. I examined the patient last night and found it none the worse for wear, though it bears some deep, embedded scars on its shiny backside. TBC needs to shower his poor child with some TLC. ;)

Rosie Cheeks

Again this morning I heard something interesting on the radio.

Something about Rosie and her co-host Elisabeth. I only heard enough to know there was trouble in paradise - which there really hasn't ever been paradise because ever since the announcement that Rose O'Donnell was joining the crew, there has been conflict.

But this little bit of info made me Google... and I found:

As TMZ told you recently, Rosie's having a tough time blending in at "The View" – and today,
reports suggest that Elisabeth Hasselbeck can't quite hack her outspoken co-host
either, and it's making her cry "every day." According to an inside source cited
by Rush & Molloy, Hasselbeck "gets so upset all the time" and "can't contain her feelings,"
thus leading to the daily river of tears, especially because "no one can control
Rosie." It seems that Ro's staunch (and strongly expressed) lefty political views are
just too much for the right-winged Elisabeth; indeed, "View" watchers have been waiting anxiously for the pair to really push each
others' buttons on such topics as gay marriage and the war in Iraq.

Tension between the two has certainly simmered on-camera, but Rosie's rep
maintains, as she did to TMZ, that everything is cool, and says that Elisabeth
"was at Rosie's house this weekend. They might not agree on politics but that's
what makes the show great." Oh, and there this: "The View's" ratings are up 59%
from the pre-Rosie era.

They aren't up because of her sparkling personality or that she has such a huge following. They are up because no one wants to miss the cat fight. It will happen. So everyone tunes in every morning and they sit and wait.... patiently... for the moment when all hell breaks loose and someone has had enough of Rosie's mouth and they lay her out all over the studio floor. Elisabeth just might be the one!

I wish what's her face hadn't replaced Katie on the Today Show and I certainly wonder 'what the #$#% were you thinking!?' when they put Rosie on The View!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Tuesday Lovin


To get the full nauseating special effect, please click on the image. ;)

Political Horndog

This morning on the way to work I was listening to my usual radio station and the topic of today was.... who says the word horny?

Apparently there is some sort of political figure that just recently got caught and is in the hot seat for sending sexual text messages to young messenger boys. In one of the messages he said 'do I make you horny?'

The group on the radio (of course in all the giggles) were saying that reading and/or hearing what he was saying to the kids made them feel 'dirty', but also.... who the hell uses horny? No one says horny anymore.

The only person I can think of that says horny, is Austin Powers.

Do I make ya horny, baby.... do I?

Let's Get Physical


Yesterday in the gym, I was entertained by two guys going through their workout routine together. The weight lifting portion was somewhat boring and lackluster but watching the leg exercises incorporated into their sprints around the indoor track was hilarious. Besides doing what can only be described as synchronized tango moves down the length of the green mat, they followed up with exaggerated skipping on the next lap. I could hardly stay on the treadmill I was chuckling so hard! :)

This reminded me of my own special workout partner (apr├Ęs darling Rick back at the multinational conglomerate prior to employment at Chaos College. I was originally slated to meet my dear buddy “"J" in the gleaming-surfaced facility, but she rudely stood me up for a male lunch date. As I gazed around the room debating my next move, "K1" sidled up to me and asked if I wanted to join him in exercising. I had recently started working in his section and really hadn’t gotten to know him well and this proved to be the perfect catalyst for our newfound Circe/K connection. Workout partners tend to become emotionally close and our relationship was no different. For the following year, no matter where on the complex I worked, we met outside the locker room after having changed into suitable attire, and weighed in together. Clad in my sexiest cleavage-prone black leotard, I spotted "K1" and he reciprocated in return. Though I doubted my ‘help’ in this particular area, he seemed to enjoy being the only male with a lithe, female companion in a room filled with serious weightlifters. I still remember how perturbed he was at me when I failed to show for our daily gruntfest the day after an overindulged Fourth of July. While our biceps bulged, our intimacy and closeness grew and I couldn’t imagine going 24 hours without seeing his GQ image or hearing his familiar voice. I know we occasionally talked on the phone outside of work but I turned down his persistent requests to fill the position of mistress. By the time I left for greener pastures, our time together had grown sporadic as he was sent out of town and even overseas occasionally. We didn’t keep in touch after my resignation and his transfer, but I heard he eventually quit the company and moved back to his home state of Kansas. I faithfully continued my trek to the gym but I never did replace him in terms of a workout partner. "K1" will forever remain in the unique position of having been the guy who prodded me, cajoled me, and made me sweat.

Monday, October 02, 2006

'Showin Sum Luv' Week


To kick off October, ‘Retarded Blinking Shit From Moronic Myspace Pages’ features the ever popular ShowinSumLove crap:

Monday Monday

2005’s BEST [fake] HEADLINES:

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

[No-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-so!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace

[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas In Spacecraft

[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Rumination of the Day


The puppies I brought home for my kids were cute at first, but now that they keep loosing their teeth and spending all their time trying to fight or hump each other, they're just plain annoying. I guess it's my fault for adopting Jerry Springer Spaniels in the first place.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Tales from Sunny Isles




Florida wouldnt be Florida without a daily downpour of rain. The first pic was taken from our balcony overlooking the city. The next day, as normally would be expected, rain struck about 1:30 in the afternoon and it just so happened that we were across the street eating lunch. We had no choice but to hit the pavement - without an umbrella- and get back to the hotel. Here are pics of us as drowned monkey's.... and another photo taken from our balcony overlooking the rainy city.