Meme—Grant Style

I was rummaging around my brain trying to think of an excellent post for today and stumbled across our favorite all-around nice guy *EG* Grant's contribution which in turn caused a dazzling lightbulb to twinkle above my head! Or possibly it was retarded blinky crap from Myspace… At any rate, here goes:

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Water Buffalo (see former post)

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Fergie. I detest My Humps or Lumps or whatever the hell she’s caterwauling about, and I swear she is saying ‘latte’ not ‘London’ in her latest lame venture.

3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Water Buffalo for her oozing touchy-feelyness AND Fergie for her sucky lyrics.

4. What is your favorite cheese?

Brie I suppose.

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?

I love BLTs. Chicken salad sandwiches would be next choice.

6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?

Jon Stewart, or Conan O’Brien. Don’t know if they are any good in bed but they would keep me laughing, preferably not during the act itself.

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?

Eminem. (LMAO)

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?

I’ll make a doctor appointment to make sure I haven’t picked up any STDs.

9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you going to go?

Australia

10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Now that you are in the new location, what are you going to do?

Use it to buy a few souvenirs.

11. A demon rises out of Hell and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...?

Demon (thanks, baby!) sure is generous. I’ll take wine--reds, whites, dry, sweet, sparkling. Definitely a goodly supply of Viva Bacco White from Ferrigno Winery in St. James, Missouri.

12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

Rufus???
I would like to visit the 1940s and wear the clothes and listen to big bands. Having said that I suppose I will find the nearest nightclub and listen to them live instead of on the vintage radio over the mantel.

13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

“Obey all rules.” Oh wait, that’s what Barney said on the Andy Griffith show.

14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?

"Circe Makeovers"

Each week I will take some poor, disheveled female slob in dire need of my skillful application of makeup, savvy eye for attractive hairstyles, and impeccable taste in clothing and Circefy her. :)

15. What is your favorite curse word?

Does ‘fucktard’ count?

16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

After a deafening scream, I will turn over in bed in the soothing realization I was just experiencing a bad dream.

17. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the item?

Definitely my computer(s). I’ll have the desktop under one arm and the laptop under the other. Priorities, people.

18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?

Make love, preferably with an attractive, willing partner. (Any takers?)

19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?

I’m going to stay forever young and beautiful while watching the rest of you turn into decrepit seahags.

20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

I want to see my parents again.

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Getting married. Or getting cancer. It’s a toss-up.

22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool stuff... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?

Canada. (I have my reasons)

23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?

I don’t go to bars so I’m not overly broken-hearted if they all ban me. I will just lounge here by the pool sipping my chilled alcoholic beverage of choice. (thankfully I chose wisely for Question 11!)

24. Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out... I can FLOAT!"?

Wouldn’t you like to know…. ;-)

25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

Don Knotts. No one can replace reliable Barney Fife.

26. The Gates of Hell have opened, and Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My wonderful, terribly missed dad.

27. What's your theme song?

SOS by Rihanna.