Showing posts with label intimate appliances. Show all posts
Showing posts with label intimate appliances. Show all posts

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Raucous Reminder

Thankfully, the visit with Dr Drill is over and the molar feels much better. I had minimal discomfort for the remainder of the day though the Grand Poobah did inform me I was as white as a ghost. I shall attempt chewing on it later. (Don’t want to rush it, mind you.)


This morning kicked off with a rare, unannounced fire drill. I thought I was back in elementary school as we all herded out in a timely manner and shivered in the morning chill (30 degrees) to the sound of the persistent, shrieking alarm. While I remembered my purse, my cell phone was inadvertently abandoned in the unexpected flight. More importantly, I totally forgot to flush out “M” and “Cowgirl” ensconced in the cobwebbed corners of our back offices thus leaving them to die a fiery death. Ooops! They really need to postpone these drills until I’ve had my second cup of coffee at which point my fuzzy brain is fully engaged. I profusely apologized to their charred 'corpses' upon my return. The 'corpses' retorted that in retaliation, they pushed the Beast out of its parking spot and into the road. I promised to remember them next time. :)


After this dental dip in my abbreviated work week, today’s outlook is bright and promising for several reasons. A. I have my regular hair appointment to get the ole locks trimmed up and shipshape. B. The boss is blissfully gone. And C. It feels like a Friday for Chaos College as tomorrow is Okieville’s one hundredth birthday and state employees are set free to friskily frolic amongst the fallen leaves and enjoy a three-day weekend. Woo hoo! I smugly inquired if Mz Federal Employee (sis) had the day off and received a negative reply. Ha! For once, State beat Federal in having a holiday off. Go State!


The Topfive.com’s Signs You've Become Too Involved with an Appliance

  • You keep the microwave's clock set to the exact hour and minute you first spotted it in the Best Buy Scratch 'n' Dent section.
  • Ninety percent of your body is covered with *perfectly* round hickeys.
  • Your refrigerator is wearing a tiger-print thong and assless chaps.
  • Every time you walk by your fax machine, it spits out another copy of the restraining order telling you to stay 500 feet away.
  • You saved a lock of its first carpet lint in a scrapbook.
  • The Radio Shack guys start stacking up the boxes of D-cells as soon as you pull up outside.
  • "Do you, Frank, take serial #57-44521RV, to have and to hold..."