Thursday, September 21, 2006

Rainy Day Randoms

Charlie Sheen Wants To Finish Career As A Cleveland Indian

Man Bites Panda in Beijing Zoo as Retribution
BEIJING - A drunken Chinese migrant worker jumped into a panda enclosure at the Beijing Zoo, was bitten by the bear and retaliated by chomping down on the animal’s back, state media said Wednesday. Zhang Xinyan, from the central province of Henan, drank four jugs of beer at a restaurant near the zoo before visiting Gu Gu the panda on Tuesday, the Beijing Morning Post said.

“He felt a sudden urge to touch the panda with his hand,” and jumped into the enclosure, the newspaper said. The panda, who was asleep, was startled and bit Zhang, 35, on the right leg, it said. Zhang got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued, the paper said.

The’s 5 Cartoon Character Pick-Up Lines

5> Porky Pig -- "L-L-Let's go back to my place and f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fu-f-f-fu... hump."

4> Popeye -- "I'm strong to the finish 'cause I takes Viagra!"

3> Pinocchio -- "Hey, I *am* a woody!"

2> Underdog -- "My heart is for you, my Polly, dear; You are pure and true, can I sniff your rear?"

1> Tweety Bird -- "I wuuuv to eat putty!"

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
You used to think of yourself as your own harshest critic; sadly, it's becoming increasingly clear that you're fucking pathetic at that, too.

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