— The Kentucky Department of Motor Vehicles announced yesterday that the game of chicken will be added to the state's driver's-license road test, testing prospective motorists' ability to drive directly towards one another at an accelerating speed. LOUISVILLE, KY
"We want to make sure new drivers can handle everyday
driving scenarios," said DMV spokesman Marty Kerta Kentucky
The state's test is already one of the most challenging in the nation, requiring Kentuckians to drive through stop signs, hurtle into police roadblocks, achieve at least two seconds of airborne status, and do donuts.
"If we have drivers on the road lacking these vital chicken skills, something terrible could happen—like, for instance, someone swerving away at the last second like a giant pussy," Kerta said.
Of course that news item was a complete fabrication (I think) unlike this very real Okiedokieville one boldly proclaimed in my town’s paper last week:
Stolen Legs Are Recovered
OC deputies conducting a search warrant Thursday night stumbled upon a pair of stolen prosthetic legs at a residence in the 9500 block of --- Road.
C.C., OC Sheriff's Department Investigator, said 23-year-old --- is facing charges of knowingly concealing stolen property and drug charges.
The legs and two video games were reported stolen from 19-year-old --- in April.C. said that the legs are in the custody of the OC Sheriff's Department.
Just your basic, humdrum, run-of-the-mill thievery going on here gang!