Cat Scratch Fever

Last night TBC decided it was high time to give wittle Frankie a dose of hairball drugs. Um yeah. Much like the time he dispensed worm meds, I got stuck holding the new guy’s elusive appendages down as TBC shoved the liquid down his rebellious throat. I am now the proud owner of three fairly deep hand scratches to go along with all the previous Fedex envelope cuts. *sigh*

Today starts another week of sharing working quarters with the switchboard gals as office partners. I do adore the sweeties so I’m not really miffed, but I truly prefer my own space. The cacophony in our building is deafening even with my door closed as construction guys scurry around drilling, pounding and generally making a dusty, ungodly mess. “A” and I were even treated to plumber’s squat this morning right outside “our door” but fortunately he was not wearing his low riders nor sporting a massive belly. We dodged a bullet on that one.

Electricity was out at some point this weekend so not all phones were working when we came in and everyone’s work email was down. Yeah, it’s so a Monday. On the bright side, my secret pal left me chocolaty goodness in my mailbox. I’m so stoked! Also, “S” is coming to take me away to go eat lunch with her and dispense some much-needed stress relief. :)

Why Cant I Think of a Title?

Last week was Z's first week at daycare. She seemed to like it and did just fine. I hated dropping her off every morning and I dashed in the door each afternoon... so excited to see her and see how her day went! She never cried when I left her and was a happy little camper when I picked her up. Every day she'd hop right in her car seat and ride along with me... wide-eyed all the way home! We'd play and chit chat about our day.

Monday was the hardest day for me... well, makes sense since it was the first day. Tuesday we walked in and posted smack dab on the infant door was a note that read "Parents: Two babies have been sent home with RSV".

UGH. I hate daycare.

The two that were home sick hadn't been there with baby Z, and they were bleaching the nursery, so hopefully all is well.

Thursday yet another note that read "Parents: a third baby has been sent home with RSV".

Dammit! I hate daycare.

The room was drenched in clorox bleach. They were cleaning frantically. Regardless, I only left Z there just briefly. I had a dentist appointment that I needed to keep. I'd had the appointment for 6 months and to reschedule was such a pain.

Today, we found ourselves at the Urgent Care Clinic with a runny nose, nasty cough and congestion. Our first thought was "that damn daycare!" Hopefully it wouldnt be RSV!!! Z has an upper respiratory infection and is RSV free.

I still hate daycare. They have cooties.

Sticky Fingers

Here is a glimpse of our sweet, innocent new additions. Cami is the mostly black female with a sincere and abiding love of people food who will stop at nothing to obtain said goodies and Frankie (Ole Blue Eyes) is the striking, standoffish male with the more timid demeanor.

One incident I’ve been meaning to mention is a “little” problem the Circe domicile had last month with a certain ethnic family restaurant. Ok, yes it was a Mexican restaurant. (In Podunkville, the choice of eateries beyond fast food pretty much narrows down to Mexican or Chinese.) Now while it’s true TBC was the intended patsy/chump/sap/dupe and I was not physically present, the lack of any remorse whatsoever when confronted greatly concerned me and I decided the BBB needed to be aware of this establishment’s sticky-fingered workers. Therefore, I filed a complaint. With a few minor changes, here is a close facsimile of the transcript I submitted:

A few weeks ago, in the middle of December, TBC and a relative went to the buffet at this establishment to eat lunch. He has always left a generous cash tip, whether eating from the buffet or ordering from the menu. On this day, the buffet bill came to $15.15 and he paid with his check card. The following week he checked his bank statement via his phone and discovered a $20.00 withdrawal from this establishment. Knowing this was incorrect, he drove to our bank and reported the error only to discover an additional $4.85 added as an unauthorized tip to his bill. Yes, they stole $4.85 by applying it as a tip in addition to the cash tip he had left which would make the tip approximately 50% of the actual bill. He returned to “insert name of guilty eatery” upon learning of this outright theft and after asking to speak to the manager, was told he "had just left." He then informed the waitstaff of the problem at which point the lady spoke in Spanish to the boy who opened the cash register and gave my husband back his money. No apologies, no explanation, no nothing. TBC told his regular waitress that he always left a tip in cash and she replied, "I know you do." I carefully went through our past bank statements to see if this had occurred before and it had not. However, I am concerned that other patrons most likely were ripped off that day and the thievery has been an ongoing unreported problem. I am not sure that the manager is aware of this stealing from what I can only assume originates from his relatives running the cash register. A heartfelt apology would be appreciated…We will no longer be patronizing this local business. Thank you for looking into this matter, etc, etc.

Under “Desired Resolution”, I wrote in part: "A heartfelt apology…was the $4.85 worth losing good customer relations and personal integrity?"

These thieves have not yet responded as this is the message at the bottom of my complaint:

*** We are waiting for the business to respond. They have until January 21, 2008 to respond to this complaint.

I’m not holding my breath for their reply but at least I feel I attempted to right a wrong and warn others because there is no way he was the only goober they tried or succeeded in putting the screws to.

Oh my gosh! I'm scared!!! I got the confirmation email today for Boot Camp. It reads:

LOG BOOK:
You will recieve a log book on the first day of the program...you will be required to fill out this log daily and brig it to class for it to be checked. I am including a half book in this email so you my read the intro to our program, please take the time and read it thourghly, if you have time before the program begin to adjust to this new schedule. ...see attached doc.

Are you kidding!? I have to admit that I sneak chocolate chip cookies!?!?

FREQUENCY:
Our program will be running all 5 days a week (Mon - Fri). if you have opted for the 3-day version you are welcome to pick any 3 days that fit your busy schedule....
Winter Schedule:
This means we will be doing 3 days Inside and 2 days outside. Please remember we have a 40 degree rule...if the temp is under 40 we will be inside.

We will discuss the eating program in detail plus do a sample workout. I suggest to begin doing some physical activity if you do not do some already. The first weeks of the program you are usually quite stiff and sore. I reccommend to start drinking plenty of water. (1/2 your body weight in ounces a day, Example: 160 lbs = 80ounces of water a day)

I pray my already very frequent and intense workouts... are good enough to get me in the starter program!

Things to bring:

Cross training shoes
Water
towel

We expect you to dress approiately...this means no short shorts or tube tops. We are professional and expect the same from students. Please wear spandex shorts under your regular shorts. When we are outside, dress for the weather, wear layers, gloves or whatever you may need to stay warm.

I also have to sign a waiver! I havent read it yet, but i'm sure it gives them the right to yell and scream and hurt us and make us use muscles we didn't know existed. yeah!!! What fun this will be! *kinda sceeered*

Drop and Give Me 10

Kids! Momma's going to Bootcamp!

*cheerleader jump*

I'm so excited! For the month of February I'll be joining a group of temporarily insane fitness fanatics and going to bootcamp hell. I can't wait to be screamed at and degraded and belittled by my leader! Our leader has trained in Martial Arts for over 20 years and holds a 5th dan black belt in Tae Kwon Do and a 4th dan black belt in Kito Ryu Jujitsu.

He was the Hand-to-Hand combatives guest instructor for the 101st airborn in Fort Campbel Kentucky, 2nd batalion, was inducted into the United States Martial Arts Hall of Fame as most Outstanding Martial Artist and he produced 5 world champions in the Native American World Games.

Sounds fun, doesnt it!??! My sweetie pie Richard bought it for me! Thanks babe!!!

Tricep Tuesday

It’s about time I checked in on the blogosphere so here I be. I thought it might be an auspicious time for the semester gym update. For starters, a female student had beat me to the punch in securing my fav machine but you’ll be proud to know I restrained myself from knocking her block off and reclaiming my rightful place as Queen of the Expensive Treadmill. Instead, I resignedly headed for the alternate fav which is its exact twin but squeakier. No biggie. Tuesday/Thursdays at noon make for entertaining people-watching as a phys ed class is held at that time and a motley bunch of students walk/run on the indoor track for a solid thirty minutes. And since it’s a brand spanking new semester, there are a lot more students frequenting the gym which aids in whiling away the endless hours (ok, minutes) on said machine.

Cast of Characters:

Napoleon Dynamite is a former Wellness Center student worker who bears an uncanny resemblance to that character and I've written about him in a previous post. He’s always at the front of the pack leading the suffering minions and actually, he’s a very nice guy. Just thought I’d mention him again.

Next came the Giggle Twins. This duo consisted of one petite adorable Asian gal and her taller American friend. Her pal must have be quite the comedienne as her little buddy burst into fits of annoying laughter during every lap. The giggle is actually more like a jarring gasp as if she was struggling for breath in a most irritating manner. (Yes, she’s jogging so therefore she very likely is gasping for breath, but I really don’t think that totally explains the racket). Like maybe her buddy reaches over and tries to strangle her every time she made that aggravating noise. I've been mulling this over for some time and I think I'd like turn Asian for a change and display a lovely exotic exterior. “S” swears I cannot pull this feat off but maybe if I dropped a few pounds and got brown contacts and a dark wig it just might work. No?

Then there’s Shelf Ass Gal. Now I don’t mean to sound cruel but just how does one get so grossly out of proportion? I mean, she’s not that large but her butt is massive. I would think the only solution to that perplexing problem would be lipo. Also, the poor dear truly needs to invest in a sports bra as a tremendous amount of boob floppage was going on. Just sayin’.

Another older gal who simply must weigh close to 300 lbs plodded around the perimeter. I heartily applaud her as I know heavier gals have a hard time even showing up at the gym for fear of ridicule, but by golly she enrolled in this class and is making an effort to change her passive habits. Baby steps, ya know? It all begins with baby steps.

And last but far from least, though they were not part of this class, were the Three Amigos strutting around the free weight area like badass Banty roosters. I swear they must have called each other up to coordinate their workout gear as they each sported snug black muscle shirts and humongous black and white athletic shorts that could have held at least one extra guy apiece. Now that is not a lense-searing image I really want to cultivate but it's true. I did a lot of covert eye-rolling watching those three but they must not be newbies to the gym as each sported emerging biceps.

Anywho, this concludes my report on the noon gym crowd and here’s to Tricep Tuesday! :)

British Ways

Lordy, y'all!

Did you see the latest video on Britney Spears!?! She's sporting a new accent. It's really freaky. The girl has gone off the deep end...

It's so sad really.

Speed of Lightning

Baby Z and I went with some friends to the Boat and RV Show this weekend. I fell in love with the Yamaha Waverunner!!!

My dad and I have been looking at boats. We'd like to get out skiing this summer and we've been eyeing a few boats... but then we spotted these! Gosh they are so much fun. I know you can't haul friends out with you and party hard while on the water... but jetting across the lake at 60mph is such a rush! (I see speeding tickets in my future!) I then suggested that maybe we should get a boat designed to haul your little watercraft. We could drive these right up the back of our speed boat! whooohooo what fun!

North for the Summer

Baby Z's going to Canada and Alaska!

Not alone... my whole entire family is going on a big ultra long family vacation! We're going to start our 9 day trip in Seattle. My mom has a sister there and my sis and I have never gone to visit. So, we're going to stop there first and visit the fam before we head north.

What fun this will be! Baby Z gets a passport too!!!

I hope to get cool (no pun intended... hehe) pics like Chica did!

Crazy Catch Up

Playing catch up is never easy but let me take a stab at it. After not one but two visits to two separate pokeys within a 24-hour period, Crazy Cousin was last known to have landed his looney ass in a pysc hospital several counties over where he most likely will stay for an indeterminate amount of time. I’m not sure what all he pulled before this predicted end result, but I’m certain it would be more than blogworthy if I knew the gory details. Unfortunately, I don’t. The particulars from the first arrest are unknown and the subsequent incarceration almost as sketchy. Something about breaking out windows of his pickup with a baseball bat and being “uncooperative with authorities”. Imagine that! : ) Should further information become available, I promise to share with my fellow bloggers. At any rate, for the time being he is no longer in our immediate vicinity.

Then last night, my brother-in-law made an unplanned trip to the ER when he severely cut his thumb and finger using a table saw. I haven’t heard the extent of the stitches but I’m sure he’s feeling it today and work on their new house will experience yet a further delay.

I’m doing quite well and thank you for asking. So far, I’ve avoided serious illness and will be trying my darndest to continue this wellness streak as TBC and I anticipate an island anniversary trip next month. Ever the anal planner, I’ve had most of my attire picked out waaaaay the heck in advance and hanging in a cozy spot in the closet. I took advantage of last summer’s clearance sales to acquire quite a few items for next to nothing. I’m so looking forward to another international trip, and though it will just be for a week, I’m tingling with excitement. As we get closer to the date, I will let the cat out of the proverbial bag and inform you of our thrilling destination.

And speaking of our fuzzy, feline friends, the cat ratio has tipped alarmingly (5:2) in their furry favor as we adopted (had thrust upon us) two kittens “K” had originally agreed to raise. The two curious crap machines have made for extensive employment of the already overworked litter box but since it was TBC’s decision, he’s the one handling the majority of Kitten Litterbox Patrol Duty. I can’t tell you how many times Cami has been caught on the forbidden counters munching on a. ham and b. meatloaf! She is unrepentant and incorrigible and most likely figures kitty cuteness covers a multitude of unpardonable sins. Pictures of our latest acquisitions will be forthcoming...

Toasty Tootsies

Today has been flipping awesome!!!
As far as the weather is concerned, anyways.

You wouldn't believe it's January by the look and feel of spring when you step outside. It got up towards 70 degrees today. For the first time in weeks/months, I was able to pull on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and head out to the gym without a hoodie! yippppeeee!

Tonight we're all gritching because it's 'hot' in the house and i've even shimmied out of my jeans and slid into something more comfortable. *giggle*

I mean summer clothes :)

Baby Z is even complaining about the heat. I think she's going to request different jammies for tonight... thinner ones. Not her usual winter fleece.

I've decided that i've got to get out more. Since being on maternity leave, my posts have been either non-existent or about crap like the weather. I need funny and entertaining things to happen to me again! I need to see big people!!!

Tale of Two Boobies

I've learned the hard way that it is not a good idea to eat a mammoth amount of raisins... and breastfeed a baby.

She will shoot poop out her diaper sideways. Not once, but four times in a day. Plus she will destroy an entire outfit (top to bottom) with one single grunt and squirt.

Raisins are off the diet. At least for now.

Mashed Potatoes on the pacifier is a no-go. However, Dr Pepper works wonders!!!

Turn the Page

I totally planned on a witty, succinct, end-of-year post and life threw me unexpected Crazy Cousin Curves as 2007 gasped its last dying breath. Nevertheless, I wish you all a prosperous, cheerful new year replete with joy, love, and laughter. To quote an astute female, wise beyond her tender years:

Don't you just love New Year's?
You can start all over.

(uttered from the mouth of either Luscious Lenore or Cunning Carla in Forrest Gump)

That pretty much sums up my feelings on fresh beginnings, starting anew, turning the page...

2008

Happy New Year!!!

Enjoy and be safe.

We're spending our night safe and sound at home... with baby Z and my sister. We're going to party hard on Benadryl, Childrens Tylenol and diet coke. Richard and baby Z both have colds or something....

Dr Evil Strikes

Eating a big bowl of Mac & cheese late at night isn't a good idea. It blows up in your stomach and it hurts! The big glass of water probably didn't help matters either. That pasta just absorbs the water and gets bigger.

Eating a big bowl of Mac & Cheese isnt a good idea period. Regardless of the time of day. I think I should mark it off my list of foods I can eat.

It's hecka late at night and I sit here thinking about the next few weeks and how my whole world could change completely. Well, as far as employment goes. I can't say too much because I know that Snoopy McSnooperson and Fatty McFatterson back at work have snooped in my email and checked out websites that I visit... and this blog is one of them. So I know they read it periodically (that's why sometimes i'm very vague). I do like to drop little bombs for them on here... and lead them astray. It's so fun to play with little minds.

Anywhoo... Say a little prayer for me... that things go my way! If they do... then it's very possible that the situation with Fatty at work will be over! OVER I say! O V E R !!!! muaaaahahahahhahahahahahh! *very evil laugh*

Quick Pics

Since Baby Z wasn't really into Christmas this year, everyone had a good time just being goofy with her gifts. My mom found it comical to get her a new outfit... see picture below.



Her daddy secretly slid a little sumpin' sumpin' into her stocking... tattoo's!!!



Her first tat was on her ankle. A pacifier! lol



Grandma had a fit when she saw that we had "tattoo'd up that baby!" We told her it was a toss up between getting her ears pierced or getting her a tattoo. She's against both. lol

Greetings

Merry Christmas!

How many 5 year olds can you take on in a fight? I can take 14...

14

Looking for payday loans?

Slippery When Wet

Today we got our predicted inch of snow and some rain... which froze almost immediately because the high today was only in the 30's. That makes for a nasty night because it dropped below freezing and everything that even started to melt (roads and parking lots) has now frozen into sheets of ice.

Richard went to the grocery store for me and came home to announce how "bad" it was outside and how slow he had to drive, etc. Of course, now I decided I "need" to go to the mall. I talked C into going with me (there was a coat I wanted and I had to get it today. Tomorrow might be too late!!!) and we skated out to the MM and headed off down the road. Sure enough... it's slicker than snot outside!!!

It is solid sheets of ice. Perfect shopping weather!!! The mall was quiet and only those who are dare devils... risk takers... brave and strong... dared to make their way to the mall! Not only did we run into the mall, but we made our way across the street to Old Navy, then we even ventured so far as to get a coke at Wendy's! oh my! When the weather gets nasty and everyone stays in... that's when I go out because you can actually get in and out of places quicker. You don't have to battle the people!

Hope y'all have your shopping done!!!

Home Cookin'

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What my sis told me just minutes ago... is true!

If it's printed in OK magazine. It's true!

and if Perez says, it's true!

Jamie Lynn Spears is knocked up! She's only 16!!! I really thought she was the one with it 'all together'. Apparently not.

Come Smell the Roses

I ventured to the mall again today... WITH baby in tow. I'm getting gutsy!
I don't mean by taking baby Z out... I mean by going to the mall!

Z is an awesome shopping partner. She seems to love to ride along in her stroller and most likely will nap while I'm pushing her around. She just curls up to the side of her little seat and catches up on her ZZZ's. Today was a bit different.

She napped like usual, but while in Macy's she started stirring. I watched her... trying to anticipate the fit that is building. Is it going to be a blood curdling scream? Will it be just a little yelp? Will she put herself back to sleep? I leaned in to watch her and holy cow.

I smelled the smell.

She'd been working on a little Christmas present of her own!

I knew that she'd probably not put herself back to sleep because this diaper was loaded! I brought her home and to my surprise not only had she left me a gift, but she blew it out the side and coated her cute little pink and white onsie with it!
How does a child pooh out the side? or out the back!?!? I've never figured that out. How can something so precious and tiny do so much damage out the backend. And the smell! How do they produce such odor!!! She's keeping up with the boys!

The Sandman Cometh

Are you exhausted and weary? Can’t quite seem to catch enough of those forty winks in the comfort of your own home on your off hours? Then why don’t you just relax, stretch out, and catch a few much-needed zzzs whenever and wherever that drowsy mood strikes!


Now I realize people are worn-out and stressed around this time of year but I’m not sure even that qualifies for a valid excuse for this unprofessional behavior at 3 pm. In the main lobby by the Information Desk. In our Admin building. In front of gawking collegians, startled faculty, dismayed staff, wide-eyed prospective students and crafty employees with cell phone picture capabilities. Like me. ;)

I can't tell if he has the butt-crack thing going on or not in this pic but I believe this was just his light shirt peeking through his dark jacket. And I love how his busy-beaver colleague just keeps plugging away oblivious to the possibility of loud snoring wafting his way...



Then he got up and fell asleep on the counter next to the lobby desk. This must have been awkward for the switchboard gals.



Good thing Grand Exalted Poobah was gone yesterday. Tsk! Several others were snapping away with their own cameras so I have a feeling someone will be called on the carpet (so to speak) today. Yes, I do realize this could be the result of narcolepsy but this is simply not the wisest place to let it get the better of you.

Found a Peanut

I know a lot of fellow Okies are having a rough time of it with the beautiful but very destructive ice storm they recently endured. My neck of the woods managed to dodge that sparkly bullet but the winter is just firing up so there’s no telling what wave of nasty stuff will have our name on it. It’s a toss-up as to whether the white flakes they are predicting will blow in Friday (Weatherbug) or Saturday (Weather Channel) but odds are in our favor will be blessed with a lovely wintry mix as we head into the weekend. I, of course, am heartily employing my ever-popular Snow Dance, sporting my snowflake earrings, and shaking my booty, er, Snow Globe Snowman for all he’s worth hoping for copious amounts of frozen manna from heaven. Yes, I adore snow. :)

Last night as I was happily munching on pistachios that I planned to save for next week (such resolve), I thought of that old song I used to sing with my comrades while we were zipping down the road heading for some educational fieldtrip. I wonder if kiddos still repeat that old chestnut? At any rate, I did find the lyrics online and sure enough, it was unearthed on a website called BusSongs.com. The only difference I found was that my fellow scholars inserted the “went to heaven” line instead of being reincarnated, but other than that, it’s exactly the same.

Found a peanut
Found a peanut
Found a peanut just now
Just now I found a peanut
Found a peanut just now.

Ice Storm Images

I didn't realize our ice storm was so damaging, but today on the news they said about one million people were without power right now... and most had been without power for several days. One of the providers said it will be about 7 days before they can get their customers back on! That's 1/4 of the people in the state without electricity. I'm so glad i'm not one of them. I've been there done that... and its no fun! Last night I was trying to post a few pictures and our power went out twice... but snapped right back on. It was a scarey brief moment! Needless to say, I didnt get my pictures posted... until now.

The raining ice has turned into rain. Thunderstorms actually. So tonight that ought to make for lots of fun on the roads!






These are just the little plants in my yard. All over the city there are huge trees split in half and downed powerlines. Its a sad sight.

Bah Humbug!

*repeating to myself*

I will not leave the house on the weekends.
I will not leave the house on the weekends.
I will not leave the house on the weekends.

I left my house today. Twice. Terrible mistake.

First of all, I didnt get to bed until 5 o'clock this morning and I bailed out of bed about 9:30am so I could get to our soccer game at noon. However, I had to drop cookies off at our church by 8am (obviously i'm very late)so I had to get everyone around and leave the house earlier to allow me time to make the drop. Plus I needed to go by Sonic.

Richard took off for his haircut a little before 11am, and I was running like a madwoman to get our soccer gear together and everyone dressed and out the door without crying, screaming and hollering (mostly me). It was cold and drizzly... but we made it! C, P, Z and I loaded up and headed out. The traffic is bad around our house anyways but add the fact that every major road surrounding us is being widened or resurfaced... well, the traffic is just hellacious!

The Sonic stop helped though... and I made it.

This afternoon I fed baby Z and was just going to "run to Wal-Mart and Target real quick" to return a few items and pick up some other stuff. Just 'real quick'. By the time I got home my blood pressure was on boiling and I had nothing nice to say about the human race at all. Every parking lot is packed. No one knows how to drive or park and I'm so sick of idiots trying to make the next light... AND CAN'T and wind up blocking intersections so the cross traffic can't go and miss THEIR light!

Plus idiots doing their shopping and can't count (10 items or less and they have an easy 50 items) and of course not enough checkers working on a Saturday makes it even worse. I've decided I will do no shopping on the weekends and I will do as much as I can after midnight and before 7am. I think its safer then... I'm less likely to blow a gasket.

Course... there's only a few weeks til Christmas anyways.

Assholes Fly

Remember way back like a few weeks ago probably when I posted about the jerk at work?!

Well... he strikes again. WHILE I'M OFF ON FMLA! I'm just waiting... he's making very lethal moves and i'm documenting (all smiles on my part). He thinks he's slick. WRONG! I've got way too much experience with assholes. Remember... I worked at Chaos College and got all kinds of training! hahahaha

Thumbs Up

It’s been a busy week as the semester wheezes out its last gasping breaths here at Chaos Central. I can’t remember ever Fedexing this much in my life. (Good thing the Fedex guy is easy on the eyes.) I arrived at work on Monday exhausted from hosting company the entire weekend. They were there when I got home Friday and still blissfully in the arms of Morpheus when I departed for work on Monday. Much as I love them, it gets old not having a nanosecond to yourself and listening to your dear SIL’s incessant yammering. Adding to my cranky Monday irritability was yet another department meeting, several paper cuts from the Fedex envelopes, splitting my thumbnail way past the quick when my hand slipped off the soap dispenser and plowed into something hard and metallic causing excruciating pain and a determined quest for the ever elusive bandaids. Then Cowgirl decided to sell homemade peanut brittle from my reception area (without my permission) to aid some cause. Does this place resemble a lemonade stand or something? No way was I going to babysit her edibles and if anyone had walked off with the whole unattended bag, I wouldn’t have shed a tear. She finally clued in that she would have more sales if sold from a different location and moved them to another dept. where she did brisk business. Monday didn’t end soon enough for me. Today settled down considerably but I have yet to wander over to the gym and shake off this lethargy. Too many tempting delicacies are starting to make their way to various offices and my resolve to refrain from partaking is getting weaker. I must be strong! Anywho, that’s matters as they stand and much like Kerbear, I'll be hitting the gym tomorrow fer sure.

Cancer June 22 - July 22

Most firearm accidents occur in the home. Avoid the chance of serious injury by getting shot repeatedly at work this week.

Leo July 23 - August 22

Your meticulous attention to detail will once again ruin an otherwise fun and pleasureable pasttime.

Virgo August 23 - September 22

Fears of dying alone will soon be allayed when more than 2,000 fire ants keep you company during those last terrifying minutes.

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21

The stars indicate that love is in your future. They also indicate your latitude and longitude, if you have a sextant and a basic knowledge of geometry.

Pisces February 19 - March 20

What may at first appear to be an insurmountable obstacle will in time be seen for what it really is: an impenetrable barrier.

Pain in my Tum

I have waited for this day... for months!

Today, I got to go upstairs at the gym.

Why is that such a big deal you ask!?!? WELL... upstairs is where all the ab work takes place! I can once again join the crunchers and side-benders! yeah!!! I crunched this morning until my stomach muscles ached. It's such a good feeling!!!

The Third Time is a Charm

It seems like forever since i've been able to sit down and type up a little ditty for this blog. In the few days i've been busy trying to work out a little schedule with baby Z (and losing sense of time/day), I hear that Britney Spears is preggers again!?!?

What is up with that girl!?

Thanks for all the well wishes. :)

Private Parts

Chaos College has finally completed building a brand spanking new structure to house a communication center as well as our nursing facilities and today was the preliminary open house for faculty and staff. The actual opening is this Friday with many influential dignitaries, including the honored governor, heading for tiny Podunkville to kick off the formal dedication. Anyway, my buddy “J” and I first chowed down at the come and go lunch before heading over for the grand tour. The buffet consisted of ham, seafood or chicken salad on croissants, chicken gumbo, potato, or broccoli & cheese soup, a house salad, pecan, pumpkin, or apple pie, and iced tea or water to wash it all down. (FYI: I selected the seafood salad, the broccoli & cheese soup, and the apple pie.)

As we hit the sidewalk right outside the bookstore heading for the new edifice, we were accosted by an obnoxious man surrounded by what looked to be sycophant students hanging on his every syllable. His frantically urged us to sign some petition but we never broke stride as “J” mulled the very unlikely possibility of his receiving permission to be soliciting on campus. After an enlightening tour of the nursing wing in which we were privileged to view rubbery vaginas in various stages of dilation and a lifelike manikin going through simulated labor (thought of you, Ker), we headed back to our respective offices. (Oh, to equalize the viewing, “J” insisted on ogling some penises so our compliant instructor whipped off the covers of a male dummy lying helpless in a bed. I could have sworn he looked embarrassed at this unexpected unveiling.) Spotting the dean and a VP standing in the man’s former location, we felt pretty sure it was no coincidence and that the loudmouth had been turned in. After a short, informative discussion, we learned that the petition was indeed a sham as it was just an effort to get quick signatures for who knows what dubious intent and purpose. Apparently the group was not comprised of our students but rather warm bodies who all jumped out of a commercial van with out-of-state tags left running by its female getaway driver ready to beat a hasty retreat at the first sign of trouble. And flee they did once confronted. That pretty much wraps up my wonderful Wednesday. How is yours going?

Baby News

She's here!!! Baby Z made her debute early saturday morning!

Friday night Richard and I headed to Old Navy to just hang out and waste some time. Walk off some turkey. We found a few pairs of pants that looked pretty awesome for him, so we headed to the dressing room for him to try them on. I planted my very pretty butt on the bench inside his room and he proceeded to try on the obviously too small jeans. I got to laughing so hard at him and Richard made it worse by doing some little dance and trying to cram himself into these horribly tight pants. I said "stop making me laugh! I'll have this baby!"

With that being said... I stood up to leave and WHOOOSH. My water broke. In the dressing room!! We dropped everything we had with us and headed for the house to pack a few bags and off to the hospital.

Within a few hours we had Baby Z at a good healthy 8lbs! Here we are right before being dismissed.... it's good to be home!

BTW... I love that pic below, Circe. haha

I thought for sure I'd be spending today in the hospital having a new little baby... not so far, no such luck. So many people have told me "it will be the 21st!" so I thought that it just had to be! So many have said it! PLUS its turned cold today. Freezing cold. From 80 degrees yesterday to 40 something today plus the blistery wind. Of course I'd go into labor on a cold day and have to 'weather' the storm! Yep... nope, not me! I'm hanging tough! I also thought it would be today because I didn't want to spend Thanksgiving in the hospital. Sure fire way of getting tossed in the bed to have a baby. Nope. Still nothing.

So, I guess I'll get to eat 20 little Thanksgiving snacks on Thanksgiving instead of a big dinner. I dont have room for all that food!

I wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving and keep warm!!!

Jackhammers & Strobe Lights

On our last day of this abbreviated work week and at one week shy of five months, I am once again driving my repaired GP. I was curious as to how I’d feel about that but it actually felt extremely good and very comfortable and I was pleased to be back in the dark gray leather saddle. Sometimes it takes driving a bare-bones, no-frills kinda car to appreciate the additional bells and whistles that exist in newer models. It was so nice to know what speed I was traveling at for a change and to not have to go through the extra effort of lowering my eyeballs to view just how fast I was going. I didn’t have to throw the flopping seat belt back into the interior every single time I exited and it was lovely to check my makeup in the lighted mirror on the visor. Ah, it’s good to be spoiled again. :)

Usually our Grand Exalted Poobah waits until today to graciously bestow on we unworthy peons a shorter workday. It won't be happening this year and I partly blame myself. *sad face* Our new Grand Exalted Poobah's assistant was unaware of the need for tactful silence as questioning His Highness in regards to this ticklish matter has only ever led to a firm "no." Therefore the deed was done with the expected outcome. I should have warned her but I didn't think of it in time and I am deeply regretful of my lack of appropriate action.

It's cold in here. And the light in the hallway keeps wildly flickering. I'd call maintenance but why? Like they are going to come over here and do any actual work on this blustery day before the holiday. HA! And this morning as I was trying to explain something to our courier, there was a noisy jackhammer going in the background making communication impossible. Jackhammers and strobe lights. And no early leaving. Yeah, welcome to Chaos College.

For all my fellow Americans, I’d like to wish you a safe and happy Thanksgiving and for our international crowd, have a terrific weekend! See you back here on Monday...

OK Corral

This past weekend we hosted a party at the bowling alley for P's birthday and to help me wrestle all the boys in the hood, I recruited help from Richard and my sis.

Here's them 'helping'.

Isn't That What Your Hand Is For?

Sometimes, I like to catch up on the celebrity gossip. Ok, daily I try to catch up. lol But dang! THIS!!! How weird can this be!?!?

A man caught having sex with his bicycle!?!?!? lmao!

Wouldn't that hurt!?!?

Raucous Reminder

Thankfully, the visit with Dr Drill is over and the molar feels much better. I had minimal discomfort for the remainder of the day though the Grand Poobah did inform me I was as white as a ghost. I shall attempt chewing on it later. (Don’t want to rush it, mind you.)

This morning kicked off with a rare, unannounced fire drill. I thought I was back in elementary school as we all herded out in a timely manner and shivered in the morning chill (30 degrees) to the sound of the persistent, shrieking alarm. While I remembered my purse, my cell phone was inadvertently abandoned in the unexpected flight. More importantly, I totally forgot to flush out “M” and “Cowgirl” ensconced in the cobwebbed corners of our back offices thus leaving them to die a fiery death. Ooops! They really need to postpone these drills until I’ve had my second cup of coffee at which point my fuzzy brain is fully engaged. I profusely apologized to their charred 'corpses' upon my return. The 'corpses' retorted that in retaliation, they pushed the Beast out of its parking spot and into the road. I promised to remember them next time. :)

After this dental dip in my abbreviated work week, today’s outlook is bright and promising for several reasons. A. I have my regular hair appointment to get the ole locks trimmed up and shipshape. B. The boss is blissfully gone. And C. It feels like a Friday for Chaos College as tomorrow is Okieville’s one hundredth birthday and state employees are set free to friskily frolic amongst the fallen leaves and enjoy a three-day weekend. Woo hoo! I smugly inquired if Mz Federal Employee (sis) had the day off and received a negative reply. Ha! For once, State beat Federal in having a holiday off. Go State!

The Topfive.com’s Signs You've Become Too Involved with an Appliance

• You keep the microwave's clock set to the exact hour and minute you first spotted it in the Best Buy Scratch 'n' Dent section.
• Ninety percent of your body is covered with *perfectly* round hickeys.
• Your refrigerator is wearing a tiger-print thong and assless chaps.
• Every time you walk by your fax machine, it spits out another copy of the restraining order telling you to stay 500 feet away.
• You saved a lock of its first carpet lint in a scrapbook.
• The Radio Shack guys start stacking up the boxes of D-cells as soon as you pull up outside.
• "Do you, Frank, take serial #57-44521RV, to have and to hold..."

Work Sucks

So much happened today I can't possibly write about all of it. However, there is just one thing I'd love to say...

I hate working with liars and people who are untrustworthy and only out for themselves and ready to throw you under the bus and not bat an eye. Especially when they are in your same department!

ALL of us see the little game he's playing and the little plan he has... why can't everyone understand what's going on!? It's so obvious!

Oh well... it will come out in the wash. Oh yes, it will! One way or another we will take this man out!

Drill Master

“It just goes to show you, it’s always something.” Remember that memorable quote from Roseanne Roseannadanna, the character Gilda Radner played so well on the old SNL? Lately for me it’s been tooth trouble and more specifically a pesky molar that has decided to hook up with the dark side. Basically, my gums in this particular spot receded causing decay to get up under the crown and cause problems. Adding to the turmoil is my switching of dentists in midstream. A temporary crown was inserted last week but as I still cannot chew on this tooth, the obvious solution is the terror-inducing root canal which is what I’ll be facing tomorrow morning. *sigh* Oh well. At least “drill masters” aren’t the horrendous Mr. Hyde’s they were in years past and modern dentistry has come a long way in reducing pain. While I cannot say I’m happy about this turn of events, I’m not really dreading it and will be ecstatic to be viewing it from the rear view mirror.

Aquarius January 20 - February 18

If you want your fortune so bad, maybe you should consult those tea leaves again—the way you did last week. You didn't think the stars knew about that, did you?

Scorpio October 24 - November 21

When life gives you lemons, why not blame them on your troubled upbringing and consequent inability to show affection? It sure beats making lemonade.

I'm Really a Smuggler

Being preggers can be a trial sometimes. When I'm not comfortable (no one is comfortable) or when I can't sleep (no one gets to sleep) or when I have cravings (we all have to give into the craving) or you get the picture. Through this whole time, Richard has busted his hump to make me comfortable and happy and ... well you understand where i'm going with that too.

The hardest thing is getting bigger. Not fitting into any clothes and here in the last few weeks it seems like it just keeps growing and growing... and it does! Babies put on alot of weight right before they are born. This weekend while we were grocery shopping, I was looking at my profile every time we passed one of the freezer doors at the store... and making comments. About 3 or 4 doors into it, Richard finally stepped in between me and the door so I couldnt see myself and gently explained (again) that it's not fat. It's baby!

Here's us with our babies at 37 weeks.



The guys think I look like i'm smuggling a basketball, so Richard put his basketball in to look like me! haha

Lady Lumps

I think it's great that JLo is finally in the preggers way. I guess she's tried for some time to have kids and she's finally fessed up that she's preggers. However.... can she wear anything else besides a dang moo-moo! I mean dayum! That is all we see her in and it makes her look like a f'ing barn!


She used to dress so snazzy. Now she wears tents in all colors and they are long long long! Why try to hide the bump!?!?

Cell-Ulitis

I must possess one of the most well-behaved cell numbers in phone history. The same cannot be said for TBC or sis. Several times now, sis has received texts from guys that want to hook up with her and refuse to believe she’s not the gal they are trying to reach. In September she was in OKC spending the night before taking Jellybean to the airport to catch her early morning flight. Sleep was at a premium but Mr Hot & Horney was bound and determined to score with his elusive consort and kept up the mobile pressure. As a last resort, sis insisted he call her to prove she was not his playful amante and he finally ceased and desisted after the truth trickled its way through his thick skull.

As you all know TBC’s piss-poor luck with mobile numbers continued unabated. Last month, I called Ma Bell and switched his number and was given the solemn promise they were brand spanking new digits that had never been fondled by human hands. Wrong! If you recall, that very night he received a misdialed number at the ungodly hour of 2 am. True, the party wanted (Renee to Erica) had changed, but wrong calls/texts continued on an alarmingly regular basis. Admittedly, the desperate pleas to be bailed out of jail desisted, but still. The most surprising recent text was the proud announcement from what I can only assume was a female proclaiming her upcoming motherhood. Obviously very bored, TBC played along by asking her if it was his. She said yes! (He’s fixed). After several back and forth texts, she called and was told she had the wrong number prompting the immediate missive “a man answered.” Finally TBC broke down and told her it was him all along and she had dialed a wrong number. Yet again I reached out and touched AT&T to secure a third number for him. This last customer rep, Wesley, swore on a stack of well-thumbed Bibles that this indeed was a virgin number. Third time's the charm, right?…

Show Me Your Pearly Whites

I get a newsletter from my dentist every so often, and tonights info was very interesting....

Smiles are an interesting feature of everyone’s life. Everyone has one, but everyone feels differently about their own. Consider a few interesting facts about smiles:.

• 62 - Number of times a day the average woman smiles.
• 8 - Number of times a day the average man smiles.
• 63% - Percentage of people who say they look best in photos when they are showing their teeth.
• 99.7% - Percentage of adults who say an attractive smile is an important personal asset.
• 74% - Percentage of people who say that an unattractive smile can hurt a person's chances for business or career success.
• 23% - Percentage of people who say they look the best with their mouth closed.

Mark Twain once wrote, "Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been!" The act of smiling is a very uncomplicated and important human activity. It really isn't important that your smile be perfect- but that you feel good about it and you give it away! If your stingy with your smile because it’s something less than what you want it to be, we can help - Smiles are what we do best.

Guys never smile!!! I am always smiling. Unless, of course, i'm not. I know I at least do it 62 times a day. Tomorrow i'm going to count. Well, actually this might not be a fair time to test that theory... bein's how i'm having a hard time sleeping at night and I can't breath very easily. Maybe it's best to save the test for another time.

Another Baby Day

Our sunday school class held a little baby shower for us this weekend. Check out that cake! It was so cute that I didnt want to cut it! It was too perfect and looked... well, not real! It was beautiful! Angela finally talked me into letting them disassemble it and dig in.


Lil November got her first Christmas stocking and a stocking hat to match.


She also got a fun (noisy) Noah's Ark toy to play with... complete with lights, sound and action. It follows her Noah's Ark nursery theme.


After the shower, my mom, sis and I treated ourselves to pedicure's at the spa. My little lady, who was the sweetest little Asian girl, asked me if I wanted something on my toe. I'd told mom's girl to put a flower on hers (giggle) but then they asked me something about mine. I had no idea what she was saying, so I just smiled and nodded. Scared to death of what I might get... she put rhinestones on me! I got bling!!!

Ghosts and Goblins

I just realized that neither of us did a Happy Halloween entry!

Welp, Happy Belated Halloween!

I hope everyone had fun... I did! I ate too much candy though, so i'm on a cleansing diet today.

Engine Envy

TBC and I seem to possess a fleet of vehicles and are therefore never without transportation should the unexpected (car accident) occur. Basically, we have double the vehicles to people ratio. Therefore, for the majority of October and some of September, I’ve been driving The Beast. *reverential moment as we bask in its awesome glory* The Beast was and still is a very popular muscle car that inspires lust and envy in every red-blooded American male gearhead within a fifty or possibly even hundred mile radius. I watch the heads swivel around and jaws drop in wonderment when I whiz by, and it’s with mixed emotions that I realize it’s not Mz Circe’s contours that are causing all the fuss and commotion. I realize there are a few minor accessories that no longer work such as the horn, the clock, the radio, and most recently, the speedometer, but it still looks and sounds magnificent.

Monday afternoon, one of the construction guys stops at my door and inquires if I’m the proud owner of The Beast. So we chatted for awhile about what a terrific car I own and I cheerfully rattle off its stats and background. A little later he pops his head in again and declares that it was almost backed into by their trailer. And laughs. At which point I solemnly proclaim that if even one drop of its primer paint is harmed, I will cheerfully and single-handedly throttle him within an inch of his careless life. By God, that’s a classic car, people! I’ve since changed my parking spot to avoid possible mishaps and believe me, he noticed and asked me about it. Duh! You almost plowed into my baby, ya dolt, of course I’m going to change spaces! Anyway, I guess we are good buddies now as every time he saunters down our hallway, which is often, (just when does that boy do any physical labor anyway?) he tosses remarks and money offers for it my way or stops and chats. For some reason he thought I was a Packers fan and said something about that team winning the game Monday night. My puzzled look caused him to question my football loyalties by which I then pointed to my Browns mousepad. This saucy pup retorted that if I was a Packers fan and owned The Beast, he would give TBC a run for his money. *snorts coffee out nostrils* I warned him to enjoy the view while he can as my preshus GP should be out of the shop soon and it’ll be goodbye Beast. :)

Power User

I have just been awarded the Yahoo! Power user reward.

I'm a Yahoo! Power Mailer!

Power Users are the heaviest and most frequent users of Yahoo! Mail and were selected by Yahoo! to participate in this pilot program. These users spend an incredible amount of time using Yahoo! Mail, so the Power User program is our way of thanking them.

That is awesome.

Bruiser Bears

(love these costumes...)


In other news: I finally won my first FFB matchup. After eight
l o o o o n g weeks. And I beat the No. 1 team in the league. And I had the highest score of anyone. Ah, victory is sweet... *sigh* :) Go Teddybears!!!
(and the Browns won last Sunday)

The Top God Billboards We'd Like to See

• You're going to hell! Ask me how.
• Stop that fighting or I'll turn this planet around right now!
• My son has no middle name, let alone initial. If you're gonna blaspheme, get it right.
• Actually, on the seventh day I went to Wal-Mart.
• Change your ways. Or don't you consider telemarketers a pestilence?
• I made you in my image -- so pull up those pants, you little punks!

Sharpies in All Colors

This weekend I got my hair colored and I'm going this weekend for a pedicure. I'm getting all prettied up to have lil November :) haha... as if it all makes a difference. But at least I'll know my toes look good and my hair is a new color!

Here's me at 35 weeks and a new shade of hair!


Another shot of the new do...


Can you guess what this is!?!?


Did I fail to mention that my sister did my hair... and afterwards we got a little bored and she came up with the brilliant idea of drawing on my tummy. She guaranteed me that the sharpies would have NO affect on Lil November (as it does us... sniff sniff). If you look closely, you can see my scar right about my belly button, where my belly button ring used to be. Looks funny... ahhaha

With This Ring

It can be tricky trying to dress for a funeral and wedding but I felt I pulled it off with a certain grace and aplomb. I opted for a fancy dark plum blouse with a black skirt and low black heels. After the funeral rites, TBC and I hopped in the car and sped toward the structurally pleasing backdrop of the cowboy-themed, chilly, outdoor October nuptials. Knowing this family well, I expected one glorious affair and was far from disappointed. The blushing bride was resplendent in a gorgeous, strapless ivory confection complete with a dazzling tiara atop her golden curls and cascading veil. Groomsmen sported cowboy hats along with semi-formal attire and I suppose it was anxious nerves that kept those bridesmaids from breaking out in a massive epidemic of goosebumps while wearing their chocolate-hued, bare-shouldered creations. After the ceremony, we headed inside to enjoy the tasteful elegance of the meticulously decorated site. Always a hit, I gobbled down many a gooey, drenched strawberry baptized in the chocolate fountain holding court on the groaning appetizer table. From there we entered the dining room where boxes of fancy chocolates awaited each seated guest. Catered by a local BBQ restaurant, we supped on brisket, twice-baked potatoes, green beans, and rolls washed down by either water, pop, or a nice selection of mixed drinks and beer. I chose the Heineken. :) There was dancing and laughter as the jovial crowd kicked up their spit-shined, polished boots and a good time was had by all. I do love a good wedding!


Beautiful centerpieces



Pink-hued H20 fountain



Yummy wedding cake



Grooms cake depicting the groom’s vehicle. Why does it always resemble turds?

The Great Quizitation

I’ve found my ginormous baby belly to be an attractor of less that desireable people. It’s like it’s a big neon sign for total strangers… and those which you’d rather not touch you… to feel compelled to spark up a conversation with you and ask all kinds of personal questions. Throughout this little pregnancy all kinds of total strangers have stopped me and asked all kinds of questions. When is your baby due? Do you know what you’re having? What are you going to name it? Is this your first? Are you going to breast or bottle feed? Are you going back to work? Are the kids excited? and the list goes on and on and on….

What prompts me to write this is the latest quizzer. The Wal-Mart greeter lady.

I walked in the door this weekend and was greeted by an unusually friendly greeter with her usualy “welcome to Walmart”… I smiled and grabbed a basket and proceeded on my way. She walked swiftly towards me and said “ohhhhhh… when’s it due?” (thinking IT is Lil November and I do not want to discuss this yet again! and especially with you!) I told her in a couple of weeks and tried to keep walking. She was smiling her gnarly toothed grin and kept right on going with the usual list of questions. Is this your first?! NO! Is it a girl or boy? Girl. And I keep going…. and she keeps following me! So, I stopped and turned to face her in hopes to shut her up so I can get on my way (I really hate Wal-Mart) and I’ll be darned if she didnt head straight for me with hands stretched out like she really was going to start rubbing my tum! There was no way in the world that Wal-Mart greeter lady was going to touch me! I grabbed my basket and darted away from her and she kept talking and asking questions. Are you excited? Yes! (you’d think with my one word answers and the fact i’m walking AWAY from her might let her know that maybe I dont want to make any sort of conversation with her… but she’s so excited she’s glowing). She finally tossed out another question and I just smiled and literally ran to the nearest bathroom to lock myself in a stall.

This close attack follows on the heels of another quizzing experience while exiting the baby doctor office building a week ago. Some strange (emphasis on strange) lady (minus about 4 front teeth) proceeded to quiz Richard and I. She started in with the same darn questions and even though we kept walking away from her she kept screaming out question after question and grinning from ear to ear with excitement like she was going to be a grandma or something. I'm not sure what she was doing... maybe a janitor that worked there or something, and was waiting for a ride.

Why do people think they can ask all these questions and don’t they realize that some of them are rather personal!?!? I know little babies are exciting and all.... but dang! Its nine (well, not actually because if you're lucky you can hide the baby bump for quite a while thus delaying the quizzitation experiences) months of constant questioning and its the same thing over and over. I should just have a pamphlet printed up with all the questions and my answers.. and just pass it out as i'm attacked by baby loving strangers.

Glamorous

I'm having a jewelry party today! It stresses me out (somewhat) to have a house full of people ... mostly those I dont know... and to host a party. My friend Tanya and I went to a Premier Jewelry party a couple of months ago and we decided we'd host a party of our own. Today is the big day....

PLUS last night Richard and I went to a Ribbon cutting ceremony for a friends new business downtown and I invited tons of people and told them to bring their mom and sisters, aunts and friends. So who knows who might show up!

I have plenty of tea and lemonade though. Richard helped me clean, and Tanya is bringing cookies. OH and the bathrooms are clean. Thats always important at a party. haha

Hello Goodbye

Originally, one wedding and one funeral were on tap for tomorrow. Until our neighbor died Wednesday and his widow also arranged for yet another Saturday burial. As this is pushing an already severely nudged envelope, we are sticking with our original plan of attending the first two, but we did pay a visit to his wife last evening and shared a meal with her and several sets of former next door neighbors that we hadn’t seen in ages. Though it’s sad to reunite under these poignant circumstances, the evening was upbeat and pleasant without ever veering toward the maudlin.

Much like most schools across the country, this entire week at Chaos College was devoted to Red Ribbon awareness and yes, I’m wearing my red rubber wrist band. *holds up arm* Various activities were held on campus, but yesterday they had the circle blocked off so as to demonstrate vision impairment. To quote:

A student will wear vision impairment goggles while driving a go-cart to simulate driving under the influence. Other activities during that time will include a simulated jail experience (Kerbear had one of those to raise money for something when she worked here) and other events to increase awareness of the possible consequences of drunk driving.

Anyway, as I was trudging across campus heading for the gym, I observed the go-cart in action and though I thought of it too late to get any really decent pics of the festivities, here are a few I did snag. This is just like reliving the college experience, isn't it? :)


This is actually a pic of the makeshift jail though you couldn't prove it by me. (Cops and kiddos are blocking the view.)


And to conclude our funky Friday...

Things That Can Get a Guy Banned From the Men's Union

• You catch yourself thinking, "You know, what this bed needs is a few more pillows."
• "What do you think: a Zima or a white zinfandel?"
• You rhapsodize about taking that chick with the great rack home from the bar for a long night of sweet cuddling and General Foods International Coffee.
• You not only know the difference between a puff pastry and a cream puff, but your choux paste swan took first place at the county fair.
• “Ewww, gross! Two women kissing!"
• "You know, take away the steroids and over-the-top sideshow atmosphere from pro wrestling and it's just like ballet!"

Take out the Trash!

Richard has mentioned decorating my stomach for Halloween and he'd thought about a pumpkin.

Today, one of the guys I work with sent me a picture of a couple in costume and SHE was obviously very preggers and she'd been dressed like a fat slob, drunken trailer house trash good-for-nothing boyfriend/husband complete with wife beater shirt and jeans too big with the belt undone, hat, unshaven, and cigarette. They had either drawn on, or glued on some black fuzz for chest hair and belly hair. HAHA

HE was dressed as a blonde bimbo trailer house trash complete with big boobs, nasty makeup, beer and cigarette.

What a funny idea! I'm not real sure our church would think that's too funny if we were to go parading through there during their Halloween night festivities. But gosh, its funny!