Freebie Friday

For the next few months, Chaos College goes to summer hours and though those initial four workdays are long, tedious, and wearisome, we are rewarded at the end of the week with the glorious gift of sleeping in, running errands and playing catch-up as we get a much appreciated jump on sultry, summery, suntastic three-day weekends. Hear hear!

I’m not at all sure he actually said this, but it was darn funny…

Jeff Foxworthy’s Views on Oklahoma

• “If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Oklahoma.” (TBC does this!)
• “If "vacation" means going anywhere in Oklahoma City for the weekend, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Oklahoma.” (guilty, guilty, guilty!)
• “If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Oklahoma.” (applies to Ohio also)
• “If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Oklahoma.”

The Stuff Dreams are Made Of

If I slept two hours last night, it's a miracle. For weeks I've tossed and turned and not been able to get in good pillow time, but last night tops it all. I should have just stayed up and not even attempted to get shut eye.

First of all, I was asleep, awake, asleep, awake, etc all night. During the awakes I got up and went to pee, got a drink of water, and settled back in. During one of my asleep stages, I had the most horrible nightmare.

I'm a big fan of Notes from the Underbelly and last night it was a double-header. I watched both. So, makes sense that I'd dream about the show..... right!?!? In my dream I'm watching the show... actually I'm in the show, but not acting. Just kind of standing to the side watching Cooper (she cracks me up!) get chatty with Andrew and Lauren and then all of a freakin' sudden she turns around with a huge daggar and starts stabbing everyone! Now it's turned comedy to horror! She nailed someone, but i'm unclear as to who it was... but in real-life Kerry-land i'm screaming!!! That wakes me up... wakes Richard up... he pats me (his quiet way of making it all better) and whispers 'was it a nightmare!?'

Like you'd never imagine!

I laid there trying to recover... then I heard a noise. I tried to assess the location, but couldnt quite figure out whether it was inside or outside or down the street, heck for all I know it was across town and my supersonic bionic ears picked it up! I never did get back to sleep... until about ten minutes before my alarm went off.

So i'm draggin' butt today.

Toxic Ties

I have long mulled over a post telling about my eccentric aunt but the course of events has taken a darker, ominous turn and my post must reflect this change and the irony is not lost that this past weekend was Mother’s Day. My cousin is dying of lung cancer and his ongoing acrimonious connection to his mean, hateful mother looks to end bleak and unresolved. I sit 1500 miles away, powerless to fix the unfixable, fervently wishing I could wave a magic wand and give him back the childhood he deserved and erase his understandable, deep-seated anger and resentment. And I cannot. Through snippets of conversations with my own mother (her younger sister) throughout the years, I heard many disturbing tales of my headstrong, stubborn, control-freak, iron-willed aunt. (This is the same spiteful woman that wound her phone cord around and around a kitchen chair (!!) so I wouldn’t use her phone line to dial into the net when we were out there visiting). Yeah. Her single-parent skills left much to be desired as she used him as an indentured servant, subject to her whims and demands, minus a loving father to offset her malevolent direction and buffer her bizarre actions. The origin of this royalty complex and sense of entitlement remains an unsolved mystery. It seems from Day One this willful firstborn child installed herself as The Queen, usurping her own mother’s rightful place in the family dynamics, lording it over her three lesser siblings. This diminutive dictator worshiped her father, detested her mother and wreaked havoc on all who crossed her path with her only child, my cousin, forever caught in the crossfire of a misdirected hate she never acknowledged. One can’t help but think of the total annihilation she would have caused a daughter considering the amount of psychic damage inflicted on her male child. His life has not been devoid of joy as he has a caring wife and children to offset her toxic rants and demeaning decrees. Hopefully they have repeatedly assured him of his exceeding value and worth, expressions never uttered from her self-centered mouth. Her verbal abuse is legendary and undiminished as her own mortality looms on the horizon. Through our last phone conversation, I discerned his continuing struggle to win her elusive love coupled with the very human desire for retaliatory paybacks. Yet one cannot help but wonder what early skewed misdeeds provoked this lifetime of unacceptable behavior? One is left to speculate on what shadowy skeletons she long ago stashed in her secret closet. His final finish line beckons and he withholds his fatal prognosis from her, never mentioning the disease that will inevitably take his life. It is a decision he has made and we honor that choice. No deathbed reconciliations are expected and my heart aches—for both. This is not the happily ever after ending one envisions for a parent-child bond and I am powerless to make it better. All I can do is assure him of his cousin’s enduring care and abiding affection. I love you, Ron. Always.

Rap Stars Girfriend

Here was tonight's scenerio:

P is sitting peacefully at the kitchen table eating his dinner, Richard is leaning over the counter watching us, and i'm bent over digging through the bottom of the refrigerator trying to find just one bottle of cold water to take with me to the gym.

All of a sudden, our peace is interrupted by:

*P singing in his greatest rapper voice* I like big butts and I can not lie... you other brotha's can't deny... when a girl walks in with a itty bitty waist and a round butt in your face... you know the rest.

I didn't hear him. What I did hear was Richard laughing his hiney off and saying "what did you say!?!" all the time knowing what P just sang. I jumped up and tuned in... realizing that I was bent over when he started singing that!!!

Me: P!!!! Were you singing that at my butt!?!?
P: NO MOM! *laughing hysterically to the point he can hardly breathe*
Me: I'm surprised you didn't start with 'Oh, my gawd, Becky! look at her butt!!'
Rich: Nope, he jumped right to the good part 'I like big butts....'

I'm glad these guys love me! lol

oh... and as a side note... correct me if i'm wrong but Reba McIntyre seems to have gotten new and improved boobies!

Pampered Pair

Saturday was a day of pampered beauty rituals for sis and me. Though I had made an appointment several months ago for us, my cosmetician had been forced to reschedule thanks to extensive allergies on her part but we couldn’t have picked a nicer alternate day had we tried. Unlike Mz Circe, sis is not as cosseted or indulgent with herself so I like to spoil her occasionally with items or treatments she would never think of buying/doing for herself. While she was enjoying her fantastic facial, I enlisted the idle nail tech to give me an unplanned manicure and then we switched places after our procedures concluded. It had been ages since I’d had any external nail pampering and what better way to while away free moments? (next time, pedicures) My color choice was Tango, a coral hue, and sis is now sporting a pretty mauve shade. After our enhancing treatments, we hit the mall and got a bite to eat followed by some carefree shopping. I broke down and replaced my mislaid Maraschino lipstick and sis found the perfect white jacket to go with her summery spaghetti-strapped dress. In Petco, I spied two adorable cat collars for BW but decided to hold off on purchasing for now. Our final stop was the thirst-satisfying coffee shop for some delicious ice-cold Granitas before wending our way home. Sunday was just as lovely and I topped the afternoon off by getting some much-needed mowing in before more rains contribute to further grassy growth. Hope your weekend was just as wonderful.

Mom's Day

Me: being all excited because we're going to eat Sea food!


I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day! Richard and the boys took me out to eat for Mom's Day. My pick.... and I picked Red Lobster. I hadnt eaten there for many years and sea food has been on my list of 'wants' for quite some time. P and I shared jumbo shrimp and crab legs while Richard and C dined on their fish and chicken. I also happened to score some chocolate (those boys know me all too well!) and a massage, pedicure, manicure... whatever I'd like at the spa.

Another pic of me before we left to eat (11 weeks preggers too)

Parental Unit Marked 'M'

household Tips For Women

• Between juggling a career and a social life, today's woman has it harder than ever, we are told. As a service to our lady readers, The Onion would like to lighten their burden by sharing some tips to make things easier around the house.
• You may find yourself lying in bed at night beside your husband thinking, "Is this all?" It isn't, sister. With a cup of corn starch in your sheet laundry, you can achieve those perfect hospital corners.
• The only way for a woman to know herself as a person is through creative work of her own. Cut grilled cheese sandwichces diagonally and let your spirit soar!
• Power that pan clean with Girl Power! The same goes for counters, collars, rugs, curtains, tile, grout, duvet covers, venetian blinds, and problem areas.
• When you open yourself to the abundance of the universe, anything is possible... even getting a clean toilet with NO SCRUBBING! Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet, let it sit for one hour, and then flush it clean. You can use that extra sixty minutes of free time to believe, breathe, dream, laugh, or CELEBRATE what makes you UNIQUE!
• Do you often find yourself wishing there were more hours in the day? Juggling a career, a home, and a relationship can be hard, but you can't let any one of those things go, or you will be a failure as a woman. Taking a regular dose of methamphetamine will give you the energy to successfully manage all three and spare you the inconvenience of sleep.
• Liberate yourself from household chores: Have children!

Happy Moms Day!

This morning I went to "Muffins for Mom" at P's school (a Mother's Day dealie) and each kiddo in his class had made little books for their mom's that had one page for each letter of the alphabet. They had drawn a picture for each and put a word that described their moms. I sat down at P's desk to look at my Mommy book, and read:

"A" is Amazing cook
"B" is Boss. She's the Boss
"C" is Cooks Mac and Cheese
"D" is Deranged.

I stared at the page... busted up laughing. Actually, he'd spelled it dranged, but I knew what he meant.

De-ranged P?!?!?! Why in the world did you put that!?!?!

He's busting up laughing... bout to pee his pants actually because of his "D" word.

I read on...

"E" is Easy Loving
"F" Flaming mad.

Flaming mad with a picture of me standing with a scowl on my face and huge flames coming out of my head! I couldnt help but laugh again...

However, now i'm thinking that I might need to go speak to his teacher because OMG what in the world was she thinking about me when she helped him put this book together!? I looked around the room at all the other mommy's reading their books and the girl next to me was busting up laughing too... so apparently she's as bad as I am.

The rest of my book read:
"G" Good Will (because i'm a giver)
"H" Human
"I" Idol
"J" Jabber (he says I talk alot!!!)
"K" Kerry
"L" Loved
"M" Mother
"N" Not unloved
"O" Organized
"P" Pregnant (he's really excited)
"Q" Quick Minded
"R" Rich (by whose definition!?!? haha)
"S" Supermodel (He's an awesome kid!!!)
"T" Talker
"U" Urban (he says i'm not old fashioned so i'm urban)
"V" Van Hater (absolutely!!)
"W" Watcher
"X" X-wife (yeah, i am one)
"Y" Yoga
"Z" Zitless (why?!??! He said he couldnt think of anything else with a Z)

This book cracks me up!! I've shown everyone. The guys here at work agree with the dranged, jabber and flaming mad. HAHAHAHHA

Makeup Madness

A recent post explored the mind-boggling subject of cosmetics so I thought today it might be fun to discuss my personal makeup application steps. :) (You guys may want to skip this post. I’ll understand.) I tend to err on the side of excess and the pic shown represents my bare bones, basic, utilitarian beauty needs that I dig through every morning. Yet another auxiliary container houses extra makeup and resides in the main bathroom. From a very early age I champed at the bit to begin my initiation into the wonderful world of warpaint. My early teens were spent having my darling dad regularly confiscate contraband tools of the trade as he staunchly forbid his preshus namesake from resembling “a Cleveland hooker.” Not easily dissuaded, I simply sidestepped this horn-locking dilemma by going out and purchasing more goodies. When he finally did return them, they were sad, shriveled up shadows of their former selves. A few years ago, sis and I were visiting back home and strolling downtown when we spied the ‘Real McCoy’ not far ahead of us. I got all excited and squealed that here before our very eyes was what daddy stubbornly refused to let me let me look like. Course, the resemblance might have been harder to detect considering she was black…

Never one to be faithful to one particular brand, I mix and match products with wild abandon, only staying true to a select few that I’ve found produce the best results. Therefore, my morning workday routine goes something like this: Wash face with creamy cleanser followed by popping in the contacts. Dab on light moisturizer around eyes followed by smoothing on velvety soft Vitamin C skin boost serum from The Body Shop. It feels wonderful and is a great base for foundation. Then concealer lightly applied to undereye circles. I am currently using Physician’s Formula in fair. My liquid foundation of choice is Estée Lauder Double Wear makeup in “Shell.” It has the coverage I love and lasts throughout the day and to me, it’s worth every penny. That is followed by either a pressed or loose power to cut down shine. For pressed, my favorite is BeautiControl’s Wet/Dry finish in a light shade. Just recently I read about some highly touted loose mineral powder and purchased the Physician’s Formula product in Creamy Natural. So far, I really love the results. With the exception of tweezing, minimal time is expended on the brows so clear mascara is all I use for taming strays. Mascara is always black and either a freebie from Estée Lauder or L’Oreal’s Voluminous one. Now comes the fun, creative part—colors and a lot depends on what I’m wearing and my mood. I like pencil eyeliners (Revlon ColorStay or Avon) in gray, green, navy, or plum and eyeshadows (Rimmel, Estée Lauder) in muted, medium shades of gray, taupe, mauve, lilac and occasionally green. The lower lid is coated with a liquid liner in navy or green that is applied sparingly. Lipliners, mostly Revlon ColorStay, range from pink, wine, spice, red, and nude and are paired with coordinating lipsticks from Estée Lauder (minus Maraschino, *sniff*), Revlon, L’Oreal, Almay and Maybelline. Oh yeah! I can’t forget the blush—always in a muted pink or peach depending on my outfit. Sound complicated? I can practically do it blindfolded though that might result in me resembling more of a clown than I already do. I guess this takes about 15 minutes (minus hairstyling) so we’re not talking an excessive about of time and the end result is well worth it, but then, I am the Makeup Queen. Right Kerbear? ;)

Smash That Fat

This whole preggers thing has me more food and weight conscious than ever. I know i'm going to gain weight... baby weight is fine. However, its the fat weight I want to avoid.

So..... after a few weeks of having to eat every couple of hours to keep from tossing my cookies and feeling like i've packed on 20 + pounds (actually have only gained bout 3 pounds total) i've come up with the brilliant idea of joining the Celebrity Fit Club.

I want to join join.... like GO there and be put through physical exercise hell by Sgt. Harvey E Walden, IV. He's turned people into Marines! Mean, mean, fighting machines! I'm sure i've done something famous in the past that qualifies me for 'Celebrity' Fit Club.

Dr Ian Smith, M.D. created the Fat Smash Diet... which is now available online! I've watched the show many times and I'd love the challenge. I know I dont weigh enough (over) to qualify... however I could like submit my weight at 9 months preggers (they dont need to know the truth behind the tub) and then i'd be way over my goal weight :)

There is an ex-Marine (probably drill Sgt) that does bootcamp not too far from my house. I've really considered hiring him to order me around a couple times a week. I might do that after little junior is born. It's just so much easier to get whipped into shape when someone is holding you accountable (helping). I do miss working out with my old FBI/Cop/Science Teacher workout partner. He was hard-ass!!!

Snoodle Snipping

Yesterday just sucked. Food Mooch was slamming things around loudly muttering to himself about having to mop up water in our basement, cold air funnels were spotted (though the helpful radio personality explained they were like clouds dressing up as tornadoes for Halloween), liquid intake was curtailed thanks to the potty situation, and the pièce de résistance had to be Water Buffalo’s vindictively squealing about my possession of a legitimately obtained key allowing access to the gym that I refused to lend her resulting in confiscation of said item. Nevermind that Mz Paragon of Virtue arrives late for work every day of her life, tries to finagle free samples from the bookstore and occasionally hijacks coworker’s offices (company property) during the lunch hour for compensated, moonlighting massages. Yeah, that’s ethical.

Dear BW is finally getting his wings clipped, so to speak and it’s high time he did. The last couple months have found him staying out late, getting into fights with neighborhood felines and making his adopted human parents sick with worry. As annoying as this behavior is, it’s a drop in the bucket compared to his frequent need to mark his territory in every corner of the house and blatantly ignore the litter box. In reality, he’s low cat on the totem pole as big brother Stubbly has been resident "King" for more years than I can recall. We’re hoping this will eliminate the constant carpet shampooing and insistence that the boy spend the night in the bathroom (spotted drinking from his fav water source) rather than roam the halls dribbling. Though this procedure has been in the works for awhile, it failed to register a few nights ago. TBC was watching Gene Simmons’ reality show and I was deeply immersed on the computer when in passing TBC remarked “He had his pecker out and was dry humping.” I questioned who he had reference to and he retorted “Who do you think? BW!” Quite frankly I thought he meant Gene Simmons. Well, I wouldn’t put anything past Mr. Tongue, would you? :)

Please bring Umbrellas

I've really had enough of the rain. I think my banana tree has also had enough. The ground was so saturated this morning, that the poor little thing was kind of leaning to one side.

For yet another day we're experiencing torrential downpours. I started out the door this morning for work and realized i'd left my umbrella in the MM. Actually, all 3 of them were in the MM. P, graciously volunteered to run out and get it for me - a little rain won't mess up his flat-top haircut. :) By the time I ran out, my laptop bag was soaked. Our residential streets had gushing water running through them and the major side streets had huge areas of standing water. Typically you can sail down those streets at a good 45mph, but this morning you had to creep along about 15mph because the water was so deep and besides that, you couldn't see for the pounding rain and wind.

Once I finally made it to the highway, we crept along for miles at a measley 35mph. I didnt dare take any pictures for fear of a fender-bender. I passed one major wreck - complete with ambulance and then another guy somehow got himself turned around backwards, but in the ditch, and buried deep in the water/mud. I'm guessing he hit water on the highway (going too fast) and lost control. He looked fine. Pissed, but fine.

I-44 East bound was flooded. Traffic was backed up for miles while cars slowed to almost nonexistant speed to try to get through the water. I watched as small cars all but disappeared in the dirty stuff while trying to get through. Everyone started trying to cram into the far right lane and shoulder where the water was less deep... but still was an issue. I'd never see it so flooded!

We've had three major 'leaks' here at work. Actually, the ceiling has caved in. Maintenance has been working fast and furious to get the water contained so it doesnt damage any more than it already has. One of the techs and I headed out to move equipment UP so it stands no chance of damage.

I'm ready for sun sometime soon!!!!

Cry Me a River

I don’t mean to dwell on our flooded situation but its reaaaallly wet here! This is a pic of the highway driving west this morning about two seconds before the torrential downpour kicked in. Once again, it was pouring/thundering/lightninging coming here resulting in a massive colorful display of umbrellas and drenched coworkers who foolishly forgot their critical bumper shoots. This town has nonexistent drainage and very saturated ground and thanks to that ‘minor’ problem, our building’s potties are now off limits. Oh the horror! Of course, I downed a considerable amount of java this morning so I’m regretting that decision already. Guess I’ll be dog-paddling over to another structure should the need arise. Or I could just go out and whiz in the bushes. : - ) I’m sure Ker will be updating us on her location shortly. Yikes! Just heard the basement server room is in danger of flooding and later CPR may need to be performed on its vital equipment. I suppose I’d better get this posted before we lose power or at the very least, our beloved internet. Please send pontoons.


SCATTERGORIES...Rules: Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following. Please use real places, names, things, nothing made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it. Try to use different answers if the person before you had the same first initial. You cannot use your name for the boy/girl moniker. Enjoy!

Name: Circe

1. Famous singer/band: Creed
2. 4 letter word: Cash
3. Street name: Central
4. Color: Crimson
5. Gifts/present: Chocolate
6. Vehicle: Camaro
7. Things in a Souvenir Shop: Candles
8. Boy Name: Chandler
9. Girl Name: Christina
10. Movie Title: Caddyshack
11. Drink: Chardonnay (duh!)
12. Occupation: Carpenter
13. Flower: Chrysanthemum
14. Celebrity: Cher
15. Magazine: Cosmo
16. U.S. City: Cleveland! (double duh!)
17. Pro Sports Teams: Cavaliers
18. Something Found in the Kitchen: Cutting board
19. Reason for Being Late for Work: Cramps, Cooties
20. Something you throw away: Cut off ends
21. Things You Shout: Crap!
22. Cartoon Character: Cartman
23. Animal: Cat
24. Favorite Thing To Do: Crayon?
25. Food: Candy

Submergedly,
Circe

Grab Your Grapes and Cough

MySpace is so irritating. When you're trying to find someone... you can't. When you want to hide.... you can't do that either! lol

A friend (distant) is supposedly having a little fling and he's got it on his MySpace. Well, obviously he's used bogus info to create the page... if he's smart he did. But nothing I search for finds him. I can narrow my search down to about 2000 people and of them... who really knows because they either don't have a real picture up or the name is all screwy or the page is locked or it goes on and on.

As i'm searching, i'm eating a big bag of red grapes - which i just purchased last night. I'm plunking them in my mouth one at a time... chewing... reading... clicking... plunk and chew again. For one reason or another, about 20 grapes into it I look at the next grape and BLAH all over it is the blackest, fuzziest, hairiest crapola! I checked my bag for indications of more fuzz and I find nothing. The grapes are new! They are the sweetest plumpest grapes... no way can they be old or have a chance to grow hair!

I tossed the grape in the trash and immediately felt stomach pains. I'm not sure that I even ate a grape with extra spices, but if I did i'll either have a tummy ache or the Hershey squirts. Something will come of the fuzz.

Rainy Days & Mondays

It looks like the beginning of a soggy week here in Okieland. We managed to miss the severe stuff Sat. night and fortunately the tornadoes forecast for yesterday never transpired but we’re not out of the woods yet. Both today and tomorrow, strong storms are predicted and there’s no telling what ghastly extras they will usher in.

Our annual downtown flower show, wine & cheesefest, dog racing, three-ring circus was held this past Saturday and though the displays seems somewhat sparse this year, and the cheese half of the wine & cheese duo was a no-show, the thirst-quenching, camaraderie-inducing vino more than made up for it. Even the winery reps proved to be on a reduced scale as less than half showed up this year and Ms Circe’s snockeredness was cut exponentially. Nevertheless, massive RVs were walked through, expensive boats were lusted after, and the ever popular people-watching proved to be a fun diversion. We met up with TBC’s bud Don and his better half and when we ate a late lunch at a nearby restaurant, more friends arrived to enliven the table. A good time was had by all and though my cute new flipflops gave me nasty blisters resulting in pitiful hobbling, I left the premises four bottles (a Chardonnay, a sweet cherry, a surprising, spicy raisin-jalapeno combo, and another semi-sweet whose name I’ve forgotten) richer. Here’s hoping for an improved, enhanced experience next year. :)

Rules of Engagement

Generally accepted tenets of blogging as listed in Justinsomnia:

• post regularly
• title each post
• link to things on the web
• provide each post with its own url (permalink)
• allow full access to archived posts
• allow comments
• identify updated content with an appropriate label (such as “update” or “correction”)
• provide a feed (rss, atom, etc)

We all have our own way of doing things in the blogosphere and this is a sign of healthy creativity. A blog by its definition is a web log. WEB log. On the web and usually for public consumption (reading). Surely a blog’s success shouldn’t rest solely on the number of comments received or on the fawning minions and robotic automatons who are in reality people one knows IRL showing up basically to bolster ones sagging ego. Yes it is pleasant to discover kindred spirits in cyberland and serendipitously connect, but there are bound to be others who don’t see eye to eye on every entry. Its life—deal with it. True joy comes from meeting new and diverse people out there in the far corners of cyberspace who land on ones site via other links or happy accidents. Their championing your partisan views is greatly appreciated but not obligatory. Since when is commenting mandatory? Is it right to insist on comments and punish those who don’t by blocking them from further reading? Who has the kind of time to leave statements on every single one of their bloglinks anyway? Shouldn’t comments be given in the true spirit of free will, generosity, and with a magnanimous desire to make a valid contribution to the topic at hand? On the other hand, abuse and unwanted spam deserve zero tolerance. Verbal attacks are completely unacceptable, unnecessary, rude and demand deletion with utmost haste and minus retaliatory sparring. Just delete. No need to start a flame war which is a waste of time and effort. And since when has lurking become a dirty word? We welcome lurkers, not try to drive them away! Isn’t this how one decides if a particular site is to our taste? And haven't we all sometimes pulled up a blog and then got busy forgetting we had opened it while hours clicked away before we finally remembered it was patiently sitting minimized, awaiting our eventual return? What could be more complimentary than taking the time to get to know the person(s) behind the typed words by perusing their archives? Why would this be frowned upon causing forbidden access and what on God's green earth would possess a person to falsely accuse an innocent lurker of being a scheming stalker??? A stalker lies in wait to do bodily harm to an unsuspecting victim and his intent is highly despicable and downright criminal. Reading another’s blog in no conceivable way resembles this devious, illegal act.

In conclusion, here are a few suggestions I would like to add:

Don’t squash and vindictively delete gently-worded, opposing viewpoints that even slightly differ from your narrow-minded view.

Don’t be so paranoid that you only allow “friends” (aka family, mindless sycophants, or combination thereof) to visit your blog.

Don’t think everyone has to comment on your preshus blog.

Don’t get pissed that your blog is being read *gasp* by someone you haven’t personally approved.

Don’t leave hateful, venom-spewing, curse-riddled, name-calling private messages to someone you don’t know who has done nothing to deserve your psychotic diatribes.

Yes, this is directed specifically toward a certain blogger and no, they are not one of our exceptional links. :) *steps away from soapbox*

Sauerkraut and Weenies

When you get preggers, smells are more.... intense, I guess I should say. I smell things more than I usually would and am much more sensitive to different odors.

Today there is a horrid smell of ass or sauerkraut downstairs in the breakroom hallway. As the day warmed up, the stinch has become more intense... so much that someone has propped the doors open to allow the stinch to flow out. I'm sure in their mind it was to let 'fresh air in'.

To get from my area to darn near anyplace else in the building I/we must go through one of two doorways. One being this ass/sauerkraut aroma filled hallway or the other being the entryway leading to the mens bathroom which is in a constant state of poop smell.

No way around it, I must hold my breath to go see any V.P. or hit a pop machine, or this very sensitive little lady just might blow lunch chunks on the floor. I mentioned said raunchy smell to one of the techs and he agreed the ass/sauerkraut smell is burning his nasal passages. If a dude can smell it.... it's bad!

Grand Finale

Classes are over, graduation is past and our learned scholars are packing their bags and heading out this week as they finish finals and giddily sprint for the exit. Our days will get considerably quieter (and interminably longer) and I will actually reach a point where I long for the phone to ring and the sound of student chatter in the hallways. As I drive past the nearest dorms on my morning commute, my eyes will sadly gaze at the empty parking lots bereft of their various and sundry vehicles. Sure we have summer classes, but it’s just not the same. It’s funny how thrilled I am to see the little devils leave the premises after a semester chock full of sensory overload—a solid, relentless barrage of ringing phones and streams of faculty, staff, and students crossing my threadbare threshold. No wonder I scurry home, immediately cowering under the covers, hiding from the raucous, demanding world outside, begging the cats to take any messages. And yet by summer’s end, I eagerly await the fresh batch of wide-eyed collegians, nervously enduring freshman orientation and biting their nails in anticipation of their first exciting day of new experiences and nameless, unfamiliar classmates. As they depart our familiar halls, whether transferring to four-year institutions or entering the world of commerce, I wish them all the best in their transition to the next big adventure.

Across From the Trees

For lunch today, my sis and I tried a new little hole in the wall. A few weeks ago the guys in my area had lunch brought in. It smelled SO yummy and looked absolutely scrumptious! They got burgers and fried artichoke hearts (which I tasted and they were fantastic) but they said there was pizza and it was the best!

Sis and I decided we'd try the little joint today. The guys gave me the approximate location - which is in a less desirable part of the city, but hey.... it's daytime and we'd be ok! I headed out to meet her... drove past the place about 10 times trying to find it because it was not what I expected. It was a junky hole in the wall. It appeared to be an old gas station converted into a deli. We headed inside and stood under the beer and cigarette sign to order our lunch.

The guy working - we still cant figure out what nationality he is... but has a foreign accent - told us he was out of artichoke! We both gasped for air and squeeled 'no way!' He went to the back and found two... which he said we could have for free. yeah! So we get those.. and we ordered cheese sticks with marinara and I ordered some Cowboy maynard sandwich and sis ordered an All Meat Calizone. Our thinking was, we'd share all our food so we could taste more.

We whipped out our money and he said 'no no.. you pay afterwards. Lets see if you like it first'. We already knew we would!

He brought out our two artichokes with garlic mayonnaise and our cheese sticks. They were the biggest cheese sticks i'd ever seen in my life! One probably carried a good 500 calories and added 2 immediate pounds to your hips. Both were good, btw...

Then came our calizone and sandwich (with fries). I would have never eaten there if someone hadnt told me about it or if I hadnt tasted it... for it was very scarey looking. But... I think this is my new favorite place to eat! It was all good! It really was the best pizza. It wasnt drowning in bread like ALL the other pizza joints. It was a thin bread - even thinner than thin crust pizza... and alot softer - stuffed full of meats. I mean stuffed too. We stuffed ourselves.

Just as we're leaving... and trying to pay... he asks if we'd like dessert. We decline because, well we're stuffed! He says 'you like chocolate!?' Of course we like chocolate! 'I be right back!' and with that he dashes off. He came back to the table with the best looking 10 layer chocolate mousse cake we'd ever seen. One bite and we were sold... had to finish it! Gosh it was good!

Palma's... you wouldn't think so, but it is awesome food!!!!

A Through Z

May showers bring June flowers I suppose as it’s raining cats and dogs today and there are various percentages of thunderbloomers forecast for the next seven days. So we are starting May out a tad watery shall we say. I stole this from our darling Ms Sizz…

A - Available or Single? No and no. (but I’m a great flirt)

B - Best Friend? If sisters are considered best friends. I’ve gone the ‘one best friend’ route and it’s never pretty. Some day we’ll talk about that.

C - Cake or Pie? Pie please and about the only kind I don’t care for is mincemeat. (shudders) I like cake but it has to be really good—no Walmart cakes, thank you.

D - Drink of Choice? I think we all know the answer to this one. Wine, preferably Chardonnay, Merlot, or Sauv Blanc but I’m not overly picky.

E - Essential Item(s)? Cell phone, tote bag, tweezers, makeup, earrings, planner.

F - Favorite Color? Silver, then pale pink.

G - Gummi Bears or Worms? Yuck. Neither.

H - Hometown? Cleveland, OH *Cleveland Rocks*

I - Indulgence? Regular haircuts, expensive fragrance, yearly trips.

J - January or February? Toss-up. January because we have the best chance of snow but February because of abundance of red hearts and it's shorter.

K - Kids? Sure.

L - Life is incomplete without…Love.

M - Marriage Date Yes.

N - Number of Siblings 1 younger sister.

O - Oranges or Apples? Apples. I like oranges but they are messy.

P - Phobias/Fears Heights, claustrophobia, getting stuck in an elevator. (You would not want to be in there with me, trust me on this one.)

Q - Favorite Quote: “Biting my truant pen, beating my self for spite, Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.” - Astrophil and Stella

R - Reasons to Smile? A warm, sunny day, or fat, fluffy snowflakes silently falling from the winter sky. Being alive.

S - Season? Summer.

T - Tag Three Must I?

U - Unknown Fact About Me: I’m entirely too sensitive. And I'm a stalker! NOT

V - Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals? Carnivore. I love juicy, medium-cooked steaks with a lot of salt.

W - Worst habits? I'm sneaky.

X - X-rays or Ultrasounds? Must I choose from this strange choice?

Y - Your Favorite Foods Ice cream and it can be 0 degrees out, I don’t care. Steak mentioned above. Seafood. Coconut cream pie. Italian Cream cake. Pretty much any dessert. Pizza Supreme.

Z - Zodiac Gemini.

Happy May 1, darlings!

New Baby

My nephew and his wife just had their second baby.... a little girl.

They named her Sapphire Leanne.

When my sis told me, I had a moment of silence followed by a what!?!?

I'm not sure where the Sapphire came in... but the Leanne is after my sister I suppose. She joins a big brother J.D.

Congrats!

I dont have any pictures yet, but if I can get some... I shall post!

Cosmetic Caper

Occasional absentmindedness is one of my harmless quirks but I’m detecting an undercurrent of malicious intent afoot. It all started in March when fellow assistants and I took "S" out for a cozy lunch before her retirement. If you recall, I chauffeured the gang to our bistro of choice and it was upon our return to Chaos College that I reached into my bag for lipstick reapplication only to find my favorite Estée Lauder shade missing in action. Now I distinctly remembered tossing it in that morning so this made no sense whatsoever. The usual suspect places were gone over carefully with a fine tooth comb (desk drawer, tote bag, makeup basket) and still I came up empty handed. I looked high and low in every crevice of my office, car, parking lot, and house with no luck. I even suspiciously grilled my fellow (male) coworkers and checked for telltale signs of color enhancement on their thin, pale kissers. They passed the grueling interrogation. Or could BW be the sneaky culprit? Does he furtively snoop in my makeup basket when I depart for work or paw his way through the dark depths of my purse, snatching his chosen selections in his pussycat jaws and spirit them away to some hidden stash under the refrigerator for future aesthetic experiments in makeup application? I really got worried when two lipliners decided to join their fellow decorative renegade but they were discovered in the recesses of an abandoned handbag having simply failed to make the switchover. Whew! And yet I wonder what has become of my colorful, high-spirited, cherry-hued runaway. I do hope it’s found the happiness and love it craved and that its new owner is treating it with the respect and dignity accorded its high-class pedigree. Till we meet again…

Smokey and The Bandit

Last weekend my sister got a brand new car. A nice shiney Red Monte Carlo....

Today she calls me and she's hysterical. You are never going to believe what just happened to me! No... I probably won't... go on, sis!

She explains, I really mean she screams with great profanity, that she was headed into a place to check on a job and realized she'd left a paper at home so she turned around in the parking lot to run back and get it and got pulled over. The officer said he pulled her over because he couldn't see her tag. It's a paper tag... in the window! Then he notices she's not wearing her seatbelt and asked if she has previous tickets for not wearing a seatbelt. She told him no. He asks for her license and registration and heads to the police car.

He spent 20 minutes in the car 'searching for things to nail me with, kerry!' He came back to her and told her ma'am, you told me you didnt have any previous tickets for not wearing a seatbelt.
Her: I dont.
Him: Our dispatch found four.
Her: Well, your dispatcher is wrong. I dont have any.
Him: Well we found four. You have four.
Her: When!?! When I was in high school!? Of course I had them then, but this is x number of years later and I have a clean record. I have nothing on my record!

He also proceeds to tell her she is uninsured... her insurance verification isnt for the right car.
Her: no, its for the car I just traded in, but my insurance company covers the new car for 30 days until they get me the new papers. I haven't gotten them yet.

He writes her a ticket for no seatbelt and writes her a ticket for being uninsured! She was furious...and she told him so!

Note: This is not a good time for a sweet older sister to say "Well, was he cute!?" This did not go over so well....
Her to me: NO!!! He had horseshoe hair and scraggly teeth and was in his late forties. In fact, I think I could have taken him!

I'm surprised she wasn't arrested.

I told her to call her insurance company and have them fax her a copy of the insurance verification and then go to the police station and ask to speak to his supervisor. She calls her insurance company, they fax a copy of the insurance and verify that she is covered and is for 30 days after the purchase and tell her to call the police station.

She calls the station and asks the dispatcher to put her through to the commanding officer on duty. She does.... and you will not believe this one... The guy that wrote her the tickets, answers the phone! He WAS the supervisor on duty! She laughed and then proceeded to tell him he was wrong in giving her the ticket for no insurance because she just got off the phone with her insurance company and they verified she's covered and its a federal thing... every insurance company covers you for a certain amount of time and he should have known that!

He apologizes and asks for a copy of the info... and he shreds the ticket. She still has the seatbelt ticket, but the jerk did get rid of the other ticket.

Lesson learned: Sometimes a pissed off sister doesn't have her sparkling personality and it's probably not best to make light of her crisis by asking if the jerkoff involved was cute :) oh, and wear your seatbelt.

We Didnt Even Get to Say Buh-Bye

It's a sad thing when a blogger buddy decides to call it quits... especially when the announcement comes out of nowhere! Today I had to remove a few old friends from our blog roll that i'd left linked to us for months after they'd stopped posting. It was sad to hit 'delete'.

Two more of our favorite blogs have announced their retirement effective immediately. Two in just three days! Is it spring fever? I can't hardly bring myself to delete them.... we will miss them so much! With the loss of those relationships comes new ones and Circe and I love to make new friends!

Best wishes to those of you who are moving on to other projects or taking a break!

Happy Administrative Professionals Day! (aka Sexy Sec’s Day)

No longer considered long-suffering, “get-me-some-coffee, pick-up-my-drycleaning, and-while-you-are-at-it-buy-my-wife’s-belated-birthday-gift,” ‘Girl Friday’ gofers, we have advanced to more worthy responsibilities and fancier titles. Basically, we still do a lot of the drudge work, but the demeaning crap has gone the way of the horse and buggy. At least, I hope it has. I recall in my tender, apple-cheeked, newbie years getting asked to sit on my boss’ lap (I declined), but that was long ago and far away and much has changed in the intervening years. Though still employed as an assistant, my duties no longer fall anywhere near the secretarial range and the Grand Poobah is a woman (though I realize lap-sitting could still be an issue). My haul so far has consisted of pretty balloons, gorgeous pink carnations from my dear buddy “L,” a very me, girly, pale pink watch, and a divine leather-bound copy of the complete works of William Shakespeare whereupon when presented to me, I shivered with anticipatory joy. Really! I love Shakespeare!!! Oh, and we also have a special lunch in our honor today. Alrighty! At any rate, to all those who serve others in some capacity or another, have a wonderful day and enjoy your plant/flowers/gifts/cards/balloons. I hereby salute you!

Green Acres

This past Saturday kicked off my mowing season and my elation was overwhelming and obvious. I’ve been eyeing our acreage for the past week weeks, silently urging those budding blades of grass (weeds) to push forth out of mother earth and reach for the stars while I evilly scheme to viciously chop their naïve little heads off. The winds were blowing but the air was balmy as I slapped on the sunscreen and rounded up my mandatory mowing gear. Sunglasses? Check. Earplugs? Check. Appropriate ensemble? Check. Chilled, thirst-quenching Genny? Double check! I threw a curveball to the male neighbors by donning a white t-shirt (with Chaos College logo) and navy, terrycloth capris but the attire will be more ogle-friendly as the days progress and further heating transpires. As it is still early in the season, bare spots were visible where growth hadn’t occurred and colorful weeds and ground morning glories have yet to make an appearance. Also, no snakes or lizards skittered away from my loud, voracious guillotine of death. The only wildlife encountered on the back forty thus far were a few yellow butterflies or possibly moths as I didn’t take the time to snatch one in midair, whip out a magnifying glass and examine his jiggly bits for proof of his insect status but after viewing this site, I’m thinking they were indeed butterflies. I look forward to another enjoyable summer combining satisfying work, warming sunlight, abundant brewskies and communing with nature in all its seasonal glory in the eagerly anticipated days ahead.

And yes, that does resemble my mower. :)

Baby Anxiety Maybe?

Now I know that supposedly when a girl is preggers they are supposed to have more vivid dreams but I have never experienced it.... until last night. Instead of dreaming, I've had trouble sleeping and pretty much just haven't slept in weeks.

I had the wildest dream!!!

I dreamt that I fondled Circe's boobies.

Did you read that Circe!??! You flopped your boobage out and I fondled your melons. They were bigger than I last remember and her nips were dark cherry red and rough for some reason. I remember thinking 'I need to get her some lotion'.

WHY WHY WHY!??!?

I even remember going to sleep holding them in my hand. WHY WHY WHY? Why was I even sleeping with Circe next to me and why was she offering her hooters to me to squeeze on?!!?

Breasts

To see breasts in your dream, symbolizes primal nourishment and your need to be nursed and care for. It represent motherhood, nurturance, and infantile dependency. Alternatively, breasts represents sexual arousal and raw energy.

Seeing naked breasts can also denote a feeling of exposure and invasion of privacy. In particular, for a woman, the dream may indicate anxieties about becoming a woman/mother

Lazy Dazy

"Borrowed" from CruiserMel...

Use one word or a phrase for everything…

1. Yourself: sensitive, sneaky, chameleon
2. Your family: there
3. Your hair: blonde
4. Your Mother: deceased
5. Your Father: my hero
6. Your favorite item: cell phone
7. Your dream last night: totally forgotten
8. Your favorite drink: wine
9. Your dream home: spacious and two-story
10. The room you are in: office
11. Your ex: do BFs count?
12. Your fear: so many
13. Where you want to be in ten years: alive
14. Who you hung out with last night: TBC and BW (cat)
15. What you’re not: perfect
16. Your best friend(s): sis
17. One of your wish list items: new treadmill
18. Your gender: female
19. The last thing you did: checked email
20. What you are wearing: a berry-colored suit
21. Your favorite weather: sunny and 80 degrees
22. Your favorite book: classics
23. Last thing you ate: Jello vanilla pudding
24. Your life: ever-changing
25. Your mood: mixed
26. The last person you talked to on the phone: an instructor
27. Who you are thinking about right now: K
28. Your best friend(s): a repeat question!
29. Your car: me in it driving home
30. What you’re doing at the moment: at work and emailing Kerbear
31. Your summer: soaking up the sunshine
32. Your relationship status: hitched
33. What’s on TV: no TV in sight, have no clue
34. The weather: sunny and 76 degrees
35. The last time you laughed: about an hour ago reading The Onion

Happy Thursday! :)

Lying, Is That a Man Law?

As I walked in the door to my gym last night, I bumped into Madison... a girl I met while doing Jury Duty in January. We hung together and even served on the same jury, so we chatted alot and learned we lived relatively close in proximity and had alot in common. The gym being one of them. I had no idea what gym she went to though. I asked about her wedding which was just a few weeks ago and how the honeymoon cruise was... she asked about the boys and Richard and other chit chat. The big moment in this whole night was when she said "there's Chris! Over on the ab machine". oh lordy.....

Early last fall I was at the gym working on abs and legs when this tall, very buff black man came up to me and introduced himself. He asked if he could cut in and rotate thru the machine with me. Of course... thats the only proper thing to do. We made small talk (its awkward if you dont) and I learned he was a police officer in the area, not married but has a son. I'm sure there were other topics but after I was done with my sets, I excused myself... never to see him again for months.

About the first of February, I'm on the treadmill with my sister next to me and in walks this guy. He spots me and makes a bee-line to come chat. He stood and talked for a good 20 minutes. I introduced him to my sister, he asked about Richard and the kids (I cant believe he remembered all that), I asked him about his workout... He said he was training for some tri-athalon event in Canada at the end of March and was doing two workouts a day. Then he mentioned that he saw my sis at another gym. She agreed they'd seen each other (so confirmed he does work out alot). After some talk he went on his way.

One day, at the end of the month, I went to spin class after work. I never go to spin on the weekdays because it starts too early and I cant get there.... but for some reason, this particular day I made it. I crawled on a bike and heard this chatter from two girls I was by. The voice sounded soooo familiar and she was talking about her fiance's son and his mother and wedding plans, etc. I looked... it was Madison! I got her attention and we jabbered until class started and more afterwards. The wedding plans were going well and all looked good for the big March 31st event.

The next day, I'm working on biceps when I spot Chris on the machine next to me. He says 'come on... jump in my routine with me'. I tried to turn him down, but with police like force.... I was on my way to a hard core workout routine. I did what he did.... we talked more about work, school, kids... and I asked him if he was married (i already knew the answer but I just had to ask because something was amiss). He just shook his head no. (i'm having a feeling about now...)

Things have been clicking in my head for some time... but today they are really going 100mph. Madison is engaged to a black man. She's blonde hair/blue eyes... and she told me she was in an inter-racial relationship. I also know his name is Chris and he's a police officer because the day of Jury Duty we called him and told him what case we were on.

My 'friend' at the gym is named Chris. He's a police officer, unmarried and talks nothing of a girlfriend or engagement and is training for some tri-athalon thing in Canada which just happens to be the exact same time as Madison's wedding. Coincidence? Could be... but i'm thinking not! I really have this feeling I know both of these people who are getting married and neither know that I know the other!

We finished our workout and headed out. I wished him good luck on his competition.

I haven't seen either of them til last night. As she and I stood at the door talking, she waved over at her new hubby, Chris, and I turned to look at him... and it's Chris alright. The very Chris that has been talking to me... the very one who made no indication of a g/f... he waved with the biggest look of shock on his face. It was priceless! I turned and chatted some more... never indicating that we'd ever met. I really like Madison... but I really think she needs to watch more carefully.

Chris walked up to the counter and got his car keys, walked right past us... wouldnt look at either of us and wouldnt speak to her when she spoke. She said he was having a bad day. YEAH... he is. He got caught. I know the truth now! haha I betcha I never see him again....

Too bad too. He had great workout ideas, but too bad he couldnt just tell the truth and be honest. What was the point in lying anyways...

On the Road Again

We're gonna need a bigger house. I've decided.

Today while heading out to buy velcro for the techs who are cleaning up and reorganizing the chargers downstairs, I took a little side-step. Every time I head out to run errands or something, I try to take a different route so I can familiarize myself with the area. You never know what you might find! Today, instead of taking major roads, I shot down 36th street and came upon this cute cute cute neighborhood. BlahBlah Heights. I cant remember the first part... but it was Heights for sure.

From where I come from.... the Heights would indicate skankville. This wasnt the case. Buried in a cool little place in the city are huge homes with beautiful yards. I tried to catch every little thing I could... glancing left, then right, then left, right....etc. I found one for sale!!! I so want to see it...

I certainly wouldn't move to the city, but I'd love to see those homes and I wonder how much they sell for. I know we can buy alot more house in the city for the same money we spend to live in the burbs.

I'm gonna look for open houses and start looking.... this is going to drive Richard crazy I think. This whole pregnancy thing will drive him nuts. My sister said she's loving this one... she told mom "this pregnancy is so fun! She's so mean with this one!" lol

I don't think so.

We Wish To Thank...

I can't believe we were picked!!! I feel so honored.. Burg picked us! We're finally getting around to selecting our 5 favorite blogs... which, by the way is the hardest thing to do. Circe and I have so many favorites that it was almost impossible to narrow it down. We managed... but know that just because we didn't list your blog doesnt mean we dont hold it near and dear to our hearts! We just could only pick 5!

So, here's the deal:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,

3. Optional: Proudly display the "Thinking Blogger Award" with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn't fit your blog.)

Here is the hard part:

1. Bone. First of all, it was the name that attracted me to his blog (makes me think of Boner on Growing Pains). Bone is sharp and witty and never fails to do Three Word Wednesday and keeps me posted on 24, which I have yet to be able to watch. He cracks me up when he writes! He's always a breath of fresh air.

2. I'm jealous of the places Traveling Chica gets to go... and see. She has some great stories about her adventures and we live vicariously through her! Chica always has great words of wisdom or chuckling comment. Although we've never met in person... it seems like she's a great friend! We're always checking on our Chica baby!

3. There is always something exciting happening to Twisted Panties and Boxers. TP just recently made a major life change (moved, changed jobs) and we've got to share in all her excitement. I doubt SHE would say it's much excitement... but TP has to admit it's never a dull moment! We love her wit and energy and it seems she writes with much sincerity and leaves no thought or emotion uncovered. She's so fun to love!

4. Sparkley Pirate. Ahoy, matey! haha. I just had to say that. When you go to the blog, you'll notice there is not a piratey layout... however, if i'm not mistaken she did (does) have a Blackbeard on this site - which would be her bf/fiance. This girl is good reading!

5. To me, this is more of a serious or more business blog... but we certainly love reading Skinny Legs and All. Thephoenixnyc has awesome travel stories or worldly information. It's fun to read his thoughts and views on topics plus we get to do some traveling just like with Chica. His humor, well cracks you up!

Honestly, it's hard to put in words what we think about the blogs we read and why we chose these five. Each one is special in its own way and we love each one for different reasons. We're so excited we were picked! Thank you *hugs* Burg you rock... i'm so glad we 'met'!!!

Baking Bread

I work with all men and 99.9% of the time they are hot and i'm cold, so it's a constant battle to find the air temp we're all happy with. I've just resorted to wearing more clothes and/or lots of layers. I'm the only one who can still dig out sweaters and jackets in the summer and wear them all day while working.

Today, the temp was supposed to be in the 60's with rain and so that meant it would be about a whopping 40 degrees in my office. I pulled on my boots and a turtleneck sweater and headed to work. As I topped the stairs, I noticed the doorway to our storage unit propped open. I figured someone was hauling junk in and out and didnt want to mess with the door. Then I noticed another office door propped open - which is quite odd. Then I rounded the corner to see our lab door open and a gush of hot, boiling, scorching air hit me in the face.

I walked in to find a couple of the techs propped up in their chairs.... very lethargic. What the @#$% is going on!?!? I cannot work in this!! Chris said the air had been stuck on incinerate all night long and since someone in their brilliant wisdom (absolutely was not me) had the heat/air company lock down the thermostat so we can't fight over it all the time, we can't adjust it in any way. One of the maintenance guys had called the company to get the passcode so he could log into it and try to adjust it... but he couldnt figure it out. It was registering in the 90's in our office. A stiffling 90ish.

We all scrambled to find other office space downstairs to work while we waited on the heat/air guy. It wasn't until lunch time that it was finally fixed and we were able to return to our lab.

What a beautiful start to this tax day.

Speaking of tax day. It's always been on the 15th... which would have really been the 16th because the 15th is on a weekend... but from what I hear it was changed to the 17th because the 16th was a holiday in Washington D.C.!?!? What kind of holiday.... and why didnt we all get the holiday!?!?!?

Annie Update

It just crossed my mind that I have not been keeping y'all abreast of the situation with Anorexic Girl at the gym (aka: Annie)

WELL! I hadnt seen her for weeks. Which was weird because ever since I joined that gym LAST July, I'd seen her every day, regardless of what time I worked out... she was there. I probably hadn't seen her in a good month or so and then one day last week she came waddling in. I was at the dumb bells and I looked up towards the cardio machines and saw her walking away from me. I noticed her butt had spread and she walked like she'd just crawled off a horse she'd ridden for three days to get there. She stopped and turned to crawl onto a machine and riding high on those twiggy legs was a pooch from boobs to cooter that obviously is a baby. We'd previously wondered if her stomach was just distended (swollen) due to starvation (she obviously isnt eating and has food issues) and a few months ago in one of our weight lifting classes, she suddenly left the class when it came time to do abs. I thought maybe she just didnt want to crunch cuz she might squeeze that gas bubble of starvation and be embarrassed at the flatulence... but I think it's a baby.

She waddled around the gym for a while... but never forgetting to stop and admire herself in every mirror that she passed. She wore yoga pants that were skin tight and a tight tank. She really didnt stick out that far, but heck she might have been 'due' for all I know. She's starving the little thing to death. She hasnt been back since... well, I should say that I havent seen her. She's had that little pooch for as long as I can remember.... so that means she's been preggers for like a year!

True Chaos

A gunman opened fire in a dormitory and a classroom at a college in Virginia on Monday, killing at least 30 people in the deadliest campus shooting in U.S. history. The gunman also was killed, and at least 22 other people were injured.

My heart goes out to the loved ones affected by this senseless tragedy. Working for a higher institution just makes this hit even closer to home. :(

This recently arrived in our inbox precipitated by today's horrendous action.

"UNWANTED INTRUDER

Definition: Unwanted Intruder – A person threatening person or property. This may be verbally or physically and/or with a weapon.

In the event that an unwanted intruder is present take the following actions:

STEPS OF ACTION:

1. Immediately call *** Police Department at 911, then dial “O” and report to *** Operator. Try to give a good description of the intruder and if he or she has a weapon.
2. If classes are in session lock all classroom doors, keeping students inside.
3. Evacuate hallways and bathrooms.
4. STAY CALM and do not alarm students"

Angels We Have Heard on High

Another precious Richard Story:

Last night had originally been planned for my birthday weekend but because it was also Easter weekend, Richard changed all of the plans to a week later (last night). Several months ago he asked me what i'd like to have for my birthday and the one thing that immediately came to mind was to get to be able to see all of my old friends again.... at the same time.... and 'kick it' with them. Like we used to... in the olden days (about a year ago. lol). The biggest majority of my trouble-causing, hell-raising, story-telling and story-creating friends are back in T-town and so I dont get to see them much due to the 100 miles between us. I miss them!

Richard made phone calls and sent emails and was able to get a few of them together here in the city for my birthday. It's hard to get everyone together... schedules never work out. It was all supposed to be a suprise, but because I had a little surprise of my own a few weeks ago (preggers) he decided to let me in on the plan because he was afraid i'd not want to do it, or be too tired, or want to change the plans... anything could happen. I certainly can't go to a smokey club until little junior is born, so that was out. We had to be more selective.

We met at Zio's for dinner and I was able to catch up on some good gossip... and share a little of my own. Even being 100 miles away, I still know alot of what is going on there... plus I have a whole new world here to share. We live on Wysteria Lane, not literally, but with all the going's on on our street... one would think we're in a episode of Desperate Housewives. Richard adds 'and Kerry's right in the middle of it... running from house to house with the margarita's'. lol

Not really... but maybe kinda!

Anyways.... thanks babe for getting my buddies here. *kisses*

Keeping My Promise

Italian Cream Cake

Cake:
2 sticks butter, softened
2 cups granulated sugar
5 eggs, separated
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup buttermilk
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 small can coconut
1 cup pecans, chopped fine

Cream Cheese Frosting:
Two 8 oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
2 sticks butter, softened
2 boxes of 1 lb size powdered sugar (32 ozs)
1 tsp. vanilla extract
(may halve this if making a sheet cake)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour three 9 inch (or a 10x14) cake pans.

Cream the butter and sugar together until fluffy. Add the egg yolks and mix well. Stir the baking soda into the buttermilk. Add flour to the butter mixture alternating with the buttermilk, beginning and ending with the flour. Mix well after each addition.
Stir in vanilla, coconut and pecans. Fold in stiffly beaten egg whites. Pour into prepared pans and bake for 25 mins. ( About 45 mins for sheet cake). Cool pans on a rack for 10 mins then remove from pans. Invert on a rack and turn right side up to cool thoroughly before frosting.

Frosting:
Cream the cream cheese and butter together until thoroughly mixed. Gradually beat in the remaining ingredients. Spread between the layers of cooled cake and then frost the top and sides.

This is very caloric and unbelievably scrumptious. Enjoy!

Jordan

I finally have an idea who this Katie Price (aka. Jordan) is.

Here lately i've been seeing her all over the net and tabloids but yet I had NO idea why we should be excited to see her or even give two craps what she's up to. Other than her big ol boobies... what's so special?

She's just someone who has been made famous by her looks and being a little bit of a rebel. She's British goods....

Katie Price (born Katarina Alexandra Infield on May 22, 1978) is an English glamour model, television personality, magazine columnist and businesswoman commonly known as Jordan. She is mainly known for her large surgically enhanced breasts, and her personal life is regularly featured in British tabloids and celebrity-based magazines.

I Like Tootsie Roll Pops

Thats just too funny....

Our office was on our way back from the funeral services of our 'gonnamisshimsomuch' boss, and I was telling Teresa how I hope this weekend that our soccer games dont get cancelled again because of weather. She had no idea we were in for lots of rain and possiblities of snow in some parts and just an overall crummy Friday/Saturday, and I thought 'I'll blog it'.

I started to type and for some reason checked the site real quick and Circe had posted about the weather! Great minds think alike!

Our soccer season hasnt gotten off to a real good start. More games than not, have been cancelled (postponed - because we will be playing them later) due to weather. They've started rescheduling them and we're playing deep into June which means hot, sweaty weather. This is the middle of April and we're not supposed to be digging out wool blankets and wearing four layers of clothing (we did last weekend during the soccer games and still froze our booties off). It should be nice spring weather! Is this an indicator of summer weather? Will it be chaotic too and lordy... just nasty hot?!?

I haven't been a woman of many words this week... I have lots of thoughts, but for some reason can't get them down in words.

One Thought... who the hell is Imus (sp?) and what the heck did he say to piss everyone off so bad!? And honestly, did he do something so terrible to warrant being fired?

This may be cold but... sticks and stones may break my bones, but words may never harm me.

Didn't they ever learn that in grade school?!?

Rain, Snow, Pestilence

"TONIGHT THROUGH FRIDAY MORNING... RAIN AND THUNDERSTORMS WILL INCREASE ACROSS MUCH OF THE AREA. A FEW SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS WILL BE POSSIBLE... AND SOME STORMS MAY PRODUCE HEAVY DOWNPOURS.
FRIDAY AFTERNOON AND EVENING... THE STAGE WILL BE SET FOR A POTENTIALLY SIGNIFICANT SEVERE WEATHER OUTBREAK FROM EASTERN TEXAS INTO THE ARKLATEX REGION. TORNADOES... VERY LARGE HAIL... AND DAMAGING THUNDERSTORM WINDS WILL BE POSSIBLE FROM AROUND THE GAINESVILLE AND DALLAS FORT WORTH AREAS EASTWARD AND SOUTHWARD. A SURFACE LOW WILL MOVE EAST ACROSS FAR SOUTHERN OKLAHOMA OR EXTREME NORTHERN TEXAS... ALONG A WARM FRONT THAT WILL MOVE NORTH TO NEAR THE RED RIVER AND EASTWARD ACROSS SOUTHERN ARKANSAS BY EARLY FRIDAY EVENING. A DRY LINE WILL EXTEND SOUTH FROM THE LOW... AND WILL MOVE EAST ACROSS CENTRAL TEXAS. VERY UNSTABLE CONDITIONS WILL DEVELOP SOUTH OF THE FRONT AND EAST OF THE DRY LINE. SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS WILL BE MOST LIKELY IN FAR SOUTH CENTRAL AND SOUTHEASTERN OKLAHOMA... BUT WIDESPREAD SHOWERS AND THUNDERSTORMS NORTH OF THE WARM FRONT AND THE SURFACE LOW WILL RESULT IN A SLIGHT RISK OF SEVERE THUNDERSTORMS ACROSS WESTERN NORTH TEXAS AND THE REST OF THE SOUTHERN HALF OF OKLAHOMA... COLD RAIN AND SCATTERED EMBEDDED THUNDERSTORMS WILL AFFECT NORTHERN OKLAHOMA. TEMPERATURES THERE WILL BE IN THE 40S AND 50S... WITH A RAW EASTERLY WIND GUSTING AT TIMES TO 30 MPH.
FRIDAY NIGHT... WINDS WILL TURN GRADUALLY TO THE NORTH AND INCREASE TO 20 TO 30 MPH... GUSTING AT TIMES TO AROUND 40 MPH. RAIN AND SCATTERED THUNDERSTORMS WILL TRANSITION TO SNOW ACROSS NORTHWESTERN AND NORTH CENTRAL OKLAHOMA... WHERE ACCUMULATIONS OF AN INCH OR 2 WILL BE POSSIBLE ALONG WITH SOME BLOWING AND DRIFTING. RAIN COULD CHANGE TO SNOW LATE FRIDAY NIGHT AS FAR SOUTH AS THE I-40 CORRIDOR. HEAVIER SNOW AND BLOWING SNOW... WITH POTENTIAL BLIZZARD CONDITIONS... WILL IMPACT MUCH OF THE CENTRAL HIGH PLAINS OF KANSAS AND COLORADO. A LIGHT FREEZE WILL BE POSSIBLE IN FAR NORTHWESTERN OKLAHOMA BY SATURDAY MORNING."

Party Central

The honoree holding the tape I bestowed upon him. He always "borrowed" my tape so I thought I'd send him off with his very own. (Too bad I didn't throw in a dispenser hehehe)



The site of the bash replete with a very droopy fern.



Best wishes, dear Will. It won't be the same here without you!

hugs,
circe

Will Week

As I’ve mentioned in an earlier post, a dear sweet tech leaves us at the end of this week and his going away party is this afternoon. Throwing on the ole apron last night, I whipped up a delicious homemade Italian Cream Cake in his honor. It was all I could do not to discreetly slice off a piece for “testing purposes” but willpower prevailed and it remained untouched and unmolested. Grand Poobah purchased two large cheesecakes so between that and the forthcoming balloons and departmentally-signed card, we are good to go. So help me if the Food Mooch comes within a country mile of that specially-made confection, I will bitch slap him into next week. His drool and germs are hereby verboten and that rule shall be harshly enforced. Also, after two glorious, carefree, halcyon days, Water Buffalo is back wandering our hallways, poking her unwanted nose into Admin’s business and chatting with her buds. Her office has been relocated back to its original building and with the exception of picking up her mail, has no business annoying coworkers stationed in my compound. I have no doubt her meddlesome snout will be shoved into the foodstuffs as she forages for tasty sustenance during the celebratory repast. Such is life.