Queen Bee

Having worked at our institution of higher learning for many years, I’ve seen coworkers come and go. This Friday sees the Most Exalted Poobah’s illustrious assistant retiring and it is with mixed feelings I will bid her adieu. S has been a steadfast fixture in Chaos College’s finely woven fabric since time immemorial and I will deeply miss her. It’s not easy being the sole beacon of class and deportment at that isolated end of the lonely hall. Though you reign supreme above all other assistants and your job duties are light in comparison, you represent the very epitome of regality and class and therefore your close associates are few and far between. Some may think your job is easy and you are nothing more than a glorified lackey, but I of all people know what it’s like to temporarily walk in your fashionable heels. Privy to many higher echelon secrets, your constant motto is 'discretion is the better part of valor' and I have never seen your crown of righteousness slip even once. Relatively few know the real activities that occur on a daily basis from your perspective but I do know and give credit where credit is due. Some may see the standoffish woman who knows her job inside and out but fail to see your occasional humorous inclinations. On the flip side, I’ve most definitely felt your displeasure when I failed in some way to meet your high expectations. Yet nothing is more enjoyable than watching the look of extreme disgust pass over your transparent face when I reveal something that I know will prompt the ‘oh brother’ look. While I feel certain you view me as a responsible backup I hope you also discern a fellow comrade-in-arms. Here is wishing all the best as we part work ways and hoping you look back fondly on your time spent with us. You will be sorely missed.