Cosmetic Caper

Occasional absentmindedness is one of my harmless quirks but I’m detecting an undercurrent of malicious intent afoot. It all started in March when fellow assistants and I took "S" out for a cozy lunch before her retirement. If you recall, I chauffeured the gang to our bistro of choice and it was upon our return to Chaos College that I reached into my bag for lipstick reapplication only to find my favorite Estée Lauder shade missing in action. Now I distinctly remembered tossing it in that morning so this made no sense whatsoever. The usual suspect places were gone over carefully with a fine tooth comb (desk drawer, tote bag, makeup basket) and still I came up empty handed. I looked high and low in every crevice of my office, car, parking lot, and house with no luck. I even suspiciously grilled my fellow (male) coworkers and checked for telltale signs of color enhancement on their thin, pale kissers. They passed the grueling interrogation. Or could BW be the sneaky culprit? Does he furtively snoop in my makeup basket when I depart for work or paw his way through the dark depths of my purse, snatching his chosen selections in his pussycat jaws and spirit them away to some hidden stash under the refrigerator for future aesthetic experiments in makeup application? I really got worried when two lipliners decided to join their fellow decorative renegade but they were discovered in the recesses of an abandoned handbag having simply failed to make the switchover. Whew! And yet I wonder what has become of my colorful, high-spirited, cherry-hued runaway. I do hope it’s found the happiness and love it craved and that its new owner is treating it with the respect and dignity accorded its high-class pedigree. Till we meet again…