Let's Get Physical

Yesterday in the gym, I was entertained by two guys going through their workout routine together. The weight lifting portion was somewhat boring and lackluster but watching the leg exercises incorporated into their sprints around the indoor track was hilarious. Besides doing what can only be described as synchronized tango moves down the length of the green mat, they followed up with exaggerated skipping on the next lap. I could hardly stay on the treadmill I was chuckling so hard! :)

This reminded me of my own special workout partner (après darling Rick back at the multinational conglomerate prior to employment at Chaos College. I was originally slated to meet my dear buddy “"J" in the gleaming-surfaced facility, but she rudely stood me up for a male lunch date. As I gazed around the room debating my next move, "K1" sidled up to me and asked if I wanted to join him in exercising. I had recently started working in his section and really hadn’t gotten to know him well and this proved to be the perfect catalyst for our newfound Circe/K connection. Workout partners tend to become emotionally close and our relationship was no different. For the following year, no matter where on the complex I worked, we met outside the locker room after having changed into suitable attire, and weighed in together. Clad in my sexiest cleavage-prone black leotard, I spotted "K1" and he reciprocated in return. Though I doubted my ‘help’ in this particular area, he seemed to enjoy being the only male with a lithe, female companion in a room filled with serious weightlifters. I still remember how perturbed he was at me when I failed to show for our daily gruntfest the day after an overindulged Fourth of July. While our biceps bulged, our intimacy and closeness grew and I couldn’t imagine going 24 hours without seeing his GQ image or hearing his familiar voice. I know we occasionally talked on the phone outside of work but I turned down his persistent requests to fill the position of mistress. By the time I left for greener pastures, our time together had grown sporadic as he was sent out of town and even overseas occasionally. We didn’t keep in touch after my resignation and his transfer, but I heard he eventually quit the company and moved back to his home state of Kansas. I faithfully continued my trek to the gym but I never did replace him in terms of a workout partner. "K1" will forever remain in the unique position of having been the guy who prodded me, cajoled me, and made me sweat.

'Showin Sum Luv' Week

To kick off October, ‘Retarded Blinking Shit From Moronic Myspace Pages’ features the ever popular ShowinSumLove crap:

Monday Monday

2005’s BEST [fake] HEADLINES:

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that's taking things a bit far!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing lazy so-and-so!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren't they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas In Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Rumination of the Day

The puppies I brought home for my kids were cute at first, but now that they keep loosing their teeth and spending all their time trying to fight or hump each other, they're just plain annoying. I guess it's my fault for adopting Jerry Springer Spaniels in the first place.

Tales from Sunny Isles

Florida wouldnt be Florida without a daily downpour of rain. The first pic was taken from our balcony overlooking the city. The next day, as normally would be expected, rain struck about 1:30 in the afternoon and it just so happened that we were across the street eating lunch. We had no choice but to hit the pavement - without an umbrella- and get back to the hotel. Here are pics of us as drowned monkey's.... and another photo taken from our balcony overlooking the rainy city.

RBS

And here is an example of sophistication and taste at its finest. So tell me...who might be attracted to this photo? A 3 yr old, a 5 yr old...or a 35 yr old? You be the judge...

Droppin the Kids off at the Pool

To get from my office to the other important offices (like payroll) I can go thru one of two doors. One leads thru the breakroom area and the other leads into the main hallway, however you pass thru an entryway that is also the mens bathroom entrance. So, you open a glass door, stand in a boxed in entryway and you can either go thru the next glass door to the hall way or turn and go into the mens bathroom.

Since the remodeling and 'boxing in' of this area this summer, there has been a nice ripe piss odor. I've learned to hold my breath before entering the area and not releasing or inhaling until i'm safely into the hallway. Not once has there been a problem or odor in the womens bathroom. Until this week.

I'm wondering if we have new employees that dont adhere to clean toilet policies or if someone is retaliating for some reason... but several times this week i've had incidences in the ladies room.

One day I walked in and the first stall I went to, still had remnants of The Hershey Squirts lingering - they needed to double, or triple flush. Another day, i was happily sitting on my potty when I got to listening to the chick in the stall next to me. Cough, sneeze, grunt, giggle, curl up paper, sneeze... i wanted to tell her it wasn't working... she wasnt covering anything up. She hopped up and went to the sink - still giggling and talking to someone... have NO idea who because it was just me and her and I wasnt uttering a word to her.

Today I go in the bathroom... the first stall had a floater and it had been there a while because it was beginning to melt *vomit in my throat*. I head to the second stall. Full of pee! I head to the third stall... bingo! It's a clean. I shut the door behind me and someone else walks in. She did the same thing I did because I could hear her go 'ugh!' and then 'oh man'... heads straight to the 4th stall.

That is just nasty... at least I havent stepped in pooh (yet) like I did at Chaos College. *vomit again*

Teddy Bear Trauma

Well gang, it’s finally Friday and it’s additionally payday! Woo hoo!!! Thought we would start off with the unpleasant news and shove it out of the way before moving on to other headlines. Before the end of this tempestuous workday, I promise to post our Friday example of Retarded Blinking Shit From Moronic Myspace Pages (RBSFMMP)!!

Killer Teddy Bear Behind Deaths of 2,500 Fish
"Stuffed animal was dropped into trout pool, clogged the flow of oxygen"

MILFORD, N.H. - A teddy bear has been implicated in 2,500 deaths. Of trout, that is. State officials say a teddy bear dropped into a pool at a Fish and Game Department hatchery earlier this month clogged a drain. The clog blocked the flow of oxygen to the pool and suffocated the fish. Hatcheries supervisor Robert Fawcett said the bear — a Paddington Bear dressed in yellow raincoat and hat — is believed to be the first stuffed bear to cause fatalities at the facility.

Attempts At Hot Sex With Ugly Wife Only Making Things Worse

Efforts by ugly couple Morris and Rita Campbell to revitalize their marriage have been thwarted by the pair's incontrovertible ugliness, as revealed by the very hot sex that they had hoped would inject a boost of energy into their fledgling sex life. Instead of a newfound zeal for each other and increased romance, Morris explained that the malaise of an a-sexual marriage has been replaced by repulsion at the thought of frequent intercourse, a sentiment that his wife concedes is mutual. "Sure, married life has been pretty boring lately, but that's better than horrifying, which is what it became when I caught a glimpse of my wife's weird and misshapen body when the moonlight hit her just right," said a disgusted Campbell. "She was amenable to my suggestion that we try something 'new', and it wasn't all that bad, until we tried doggy-style and I saw how bad her back-acne had gotten." Campbell compared the situation to trying to masturbate in a nursing home bathroom, and that he had to fake an orgasm for the first time in his life. "It was a humiliating experience for everyone involved, and I hope that it is not soon revisited," lamented the frustrated Campbell. Campbell's wife Rita echoed his sentiments, stating that endeavors to increase the passion in the room only aroused contempt between the two. "Don't ask my how it is that I came to be staring at his butt for half of [the sex], but I did and now I think I'm scarred for life," said the distraught spouse. "I wish I could call it a 'noble effort', but the damage is irreparable, and now every time I look at his face, I'm going to be thinking of the look he made while trying to concentrate on bringing himself to climax." Despite trying heretofore unattempted positions, mostly derived from the Campbells' pocket-sized Kama Sutra (won in the neighborhood '04 Christmas party), each proved to be more luckless than the previous. "I never knew that the back of someone's knee could smell so bad," lamented the male Campbell, declining to expound upon the statement. Both Campbells agreed independently that sex, if they ever have it again, is best done in a robotic, eyes-closed fashion, which they describe as "the secret to their success" before their disastrous attempts to introduce a little pleasure into their married life. Morris claims that, despite netting zero results thus far, that he and his wife are far from done trying ways to spice up their lives. Should vain attempts at passionate sex remain fruitless, Campbell is considering other fructifying remedies. "If the sex keeps striking out, I could always start drinking heavily," suggested the desperate husband. "Sometimes when I come home at night after [bowling] league and I've had a few, something happens that makes me think that maybe she's not all that bad, and that a romp in the sack would actually make me sleep better that night. Maybe drinking is the best thing for us." Other options that Morris is considering to help save his marriage include buying a fast car, going to counseling at the Catholic Church he and his wife attend, or having illicit relations with a mistress. "Saving my marriage might turn out to be a lot of fun," expressed an optimistic Morris.

Capricorn December 22 - January 19
As manager of a pet store, you've long suspected employees were flushing dead goldfish down the toilet. The poodles, on the other hand, will surprise you.

wtf?

OK home skillets, here's what I am assuming is a rhetorical question in 'Myspace Speak.' This makes you sound hip and cool I surmise....
(Hold me, I feel IQ points scampering away just for posting this *gulp*)

Goose Egg

It's not really a goose egg, but it's sore.

Tuesday night my sister met me at the gym and after logging miles on the treadmill and stairstepper, we hit the free weights. I had a bar laying on the floor - doing bicep curls - and she had walked around to get some hand weights. In an instant when I bent over to pick up my bar, she came laly-gaggin around me with weights in hand... just swinging them like it was a nice spring day and she was happy to be alive... and WHAMMO schmacked me in the head with her weight.

She heard the collision and gasped for air as she waited for my reaction. Me, being the drama queen that I am (proud of it), grabbed my head and started telling her it was bleeding and I had serious trauma to the head. She busts up laughing! Seriously, it was ok.... but today it's sore. There is a little bump... but its pretty sore. She's going again with me tonite and i'm going to coordinate her lifting so she is nowhere near me with those things. She's dangerous!

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New kids on the block

New Feature!

Kicking off a new feature on JFF entitled Retarded Blinking Shit From Moronic Myspace Pages is a tribute to Wednesday!

Erection is Up in the air

PROVIDENCE, R.I. - A former handyman from North Providence who won more
than $400,000 in a lawsuit over a malfunctioning penile implant may not get the
money after a judge dismissed his claim.

The implant has caused Lennon to have an erection for 10 years.

Lennon received the steel and plastic implant in 1996, about two years
before the impotence drug Viagra went on the market. The Dura-II is designed to
allow impotent men to position the penis upward for sex, then lower it.

But Lennon, 68, said he can't position his penis downward because the
device is "I'm suffering with it right now," he told The Providence Journal
during a recent interview. "It never stops. It's like a constant
headache."

Buaaahahahahah! Its a constant headache.
Why aren't there any pictures to go along with this article? There are always pictures. Did they get to view the evidence in court? Surely they each got a chance to view the evidence and guarantee with their own eyes that it in fact was faulty. Gosh, that would have been an interesting case to be on.....

Under the Influence

"Oh, Angie, Oh Angie, when will those dark clouds disappear
Angie, Angie where will it lead us from here
With no loving in our souls and no money in our coats
You can't say we're satisfied
But Angie, Angie, you can't say we never tried" --Rolling Stones

Last night, as I lay awake waiting for sleep to come, I got to thinking about my rowdy friend, Angie. Angie was a proud Canadian but had ended up in Cleveland thanks to her parent’s divorce and her mom relocating in the States. Her brothers were older and remained in their central home province. Her mom worked as a live-in housekeeper so they moved around quite a bit throughout the metro area in the time I knew her. We met at the tender age of 12 and though I possessed my own rebellious streak, she greatly exacerbated the situation. The basic premise of our teenage friendship was she was the sparkling star and I was the plain second banana who by default always got paired with the cute guy’s obnoxious, repulsive wingman.

Angie morphed into gorgeous the day she turned 12 and it was very much a love-hate relationship on my end as my already low self-esteem plummeted to nonexistent. I recall a lot of sleepovers and on one occasion, her and her mom accompanied my family on our annual vacation to the Outer Banks. Normally we’d bunk down in the narrow motel efficiencies huddled next to the pier but this time we stayed in the nicer cottages with considerably more breathing space. Our very first evening there I was told in no uncertain terms to not go walking on the pier, but what did Angie insist on us doing? Go walking on the pier. With trepidation I knuckled under and we instantly met two local guys who escorted us to a cozy nook under the pier. Benji and Angie hit it off immediately and a vigorous makeout session commenced. I cannot say the same for Bill and I as immediate dislike took hold and we glowered menacingly from a considerable distance. Bill decided to make the best of a bad situation and his physical advances were greeted with snarling, sharp words, and a flurry of sand vigorously kicked in his direction. I’m sure he regretted tangling with the petite Northern bitch with the cutting tongue. Parental units discovered our whereabouts and I got grounded for the rest of the trip! Thanks Angie! Besides that memorable start, I recall continuously scarfing down butterscotch morsels purchased by the bagful at the nearby store while we played the card game, War. To this day, my stomach clenches in alarm when any food substance includes these chewy little additions. (Stomachs have a long memory.)

I can’t begin to tell you all the times this wild child got me in hot water but though she played all sweet and innocent, my mom had her number from the get go and watched her like a hawk. It was probably for the best she never shared any educational institutions with me as things could have been much worse. Ms Jailbait was notorious for dating older guys and when she got miffed would report their age discrepancies to authorities resulting in their arrest and incarceration. Our last encounter was right before her 16th birthday and once again she was seeing an older male. I later heard she ran away with him and never knew what became of her. The mystery was finally solved when I met her brother who was passing through Oklahoma and he informed me she had married the man and had been living in Greater Cleveland all along. He passed along her phone number and not long after I gave her a call and we caught up on our diverse lives, even exchanging a few letters. A lot of water has flowed under the bridge and all has long been forgiven and forgotten, but I’ll never forget my troublemaking buddy, non-angelic, Angie. :)

And yes, that is a pic of the exact pier, Jeanette’s Pier...

Cry Me a River

“As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, 'and in that case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine feet high.”

Sorry for my unusual silence this week but I endured a very soggy, saline weekend making me think I had landed the starring role in Alice in Wonderland. Remember the segment where she cries copious tears and then drinks from the bottle which she declares tasted like a mix of cherry-tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast (though I bet it tasted like beer), shrinking to a diminutive size thus floundering in a sea of her own salty tears? Well, that was me this weekend. :(

Issue 1 came up early Friday morning calling for further investigation. Accomplished in short order I, planned to discuss and communicate my concerns in a calm, collected manner. As usual, Mr Wonderful was several up on me in the Beer Dept. and while I quietly listened to his side of this matter, I took mental note of the many discrepancies he voiced. Then with no warning whatsoever, he proceeded to drop the sneaky diversionary Issue 2 Bombshell, sending me reeling with shock and disbelief into oblivion and temporarily averting the heat from the original Issue 1. For the first hour, I sat paralyzed, totally numb, and when the feeling returned to my limbs, the gushing waterfall commenced and continued without letup for 24 hours straight. Issue 1 was finally addressed on Saturday but my raw emotion seeped through and the weekend might pretty much be summed up as hellish as I alternately guzzled beer, sobbed, and spoke considerably more bluntly than my usual tactful self. I’ll be dearly paying for that for some time to come as one never speaks one’s true feelings on matters without endless repercussions. Sunday found me quiet but spent, feeling like a Mach truck had run over me repeatedly. Yesterday I was despondent and listless and dressed in synchronous black as I fought my emotional way back to the sunlight. I’m fine today, my usual cheerful self, and though nothing is resolved (it never is), the free fall has stopped and I can touch terra firma once again.

My preshus Kerbear just offered to help me hide the carcass. What are true friends for? :)

Weekend Updates...

Isn't that a Saturday Night Life skit? I haven't watched SNL in years. I miss the good ones when Eddie Murphy did Mr Rogers Neighborhood. ahaha

Anyways, I guess you can see I didnt get any Miami pictures on the site. I don't know where the weekend goes, but it sure doesnt allow me enough time to get done what I need to do. Friday night we took C and P to see Accepted - which is in NO WAY clean enough to be a rated PG-13 movie. I know with that rating, there is going to be some questionable material, but holy crap! the 'F' word was flying and tons of sexual enuendo's. They had to have rated it without watching the film. It was a good movie... but only for the dirty minded adults, not for sweet kiddos whose minds 'dont go there' yet!

Saturday was consumed with soccer games. My morning started early - 7:45am to be exact - with Spin class. Then after a quick shower and packing an ice chest, we headed out to spend the day at the soccer fields. P's team is really coming along and doing wonderfully. They were kicking some serious booty up to half, and then some player shuffle occured and things kinda went sour... but they still tied and played an awesome game! C scored a goal during his game *cheerleader move*... and they won!

Sunday, after lunch, we headed out to the State Fair to spend the last day trying to catch some of the rides and fattening fair good. It was busier than I expected and warmer too! My thoughts were 'if we spend two hours here that's plenty'. Five hours later..... I finally expressed my desire to leave the crowded arm pit smelly world of fun state fair and to my surprise my group agreed! I figured i'd have to fight to get to leave... but thankfully they too had sore feet and were getting frustrated by all the long lines (seems my lack of patience has worn off) so we got to go home!

We made it.... in time to watch the Season Premiere of Desperate Housewives. Yeah, baby! Its baaaaaaaaack!!!

Moments in the Sand

I wish i was still on the beach..

I hope to get more pictures up this weekend. It has been a really busy couple days at work and even busier when I get home, so maybe this weekend I can get some of our Miami pictures up. I think Richard will be putting all of them in our Album on our momma site.

Erotic Lustfulness

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

New liquor warning labels:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when
you are not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and
over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are
really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing
WITH you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked

(thanks Patrick!)

Have a fabulous fall weekend!
smooches,
circe ;)

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Heading your way Tulsa

Rainy Day Randoms

Charlie Sheen Wants To Finish Career As A Cleveland Indian


Man Bites Panda in Beijing Zoo as Retribution
BEIJING - A drunken Chinese migrant worker jumped into a panda enclosure at the Beijing Zoo, was bitten by the bear and retaliated by chomping down on the animal’s back, state media said Wednesday. Zhang Xinyan, from the central province of Henan, drank four jugs of beer at a restaurant near the zoo before visiting Gu Gu the panda on Tuesday, the Beijing Morning Post said.

“He felt a sudden urge to touch the panda with his hand,” and jumped into the enclosure, the newspaper said. The panda, who was asleep, was startled and bit Zhang, 35, on the right leg, it said. Zhang got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued, the paper said.

The Topfive.com’s 5 Cartoon Character Pick-Up Lines

5> Porky Pig -- "L-L-Let's go back to my place and f-f-f-f-f-f-f-fu-f-f-fu... hump."

4> Popeye -- "I'm strong to the finish 'cause I takes Viagra!"

3> Pinocchio -- "Hey, I *am* a woody!"

2> Underdog -- "My heart is for you, my Polly, dear; You are pure and true, can I sniff your rear?"

1> Tweety Bird -- "I wuuuv to eat putty!"

Sagittarius November 22 - December 21
You used to think of yourself as your own harshest critic; sadly, it's becoming increasingly clear that you're fucking pathetic at that, too.

Dear Barbie,

Yesterday, we once again shared a noontime workout at the gym. Your preferred equipment seems to be the elliptical trainer and stationary bike, thereby lessening the chance of any unwanted eye contact. I am pretty sure you don’t know who I am but I do have the skinny on the notorious Ms Barbie as it can be difficult to avoid Podunkville’s gossip mill. I can understand your concern with getting your hourglass figure whipped back into shape what with having a baby and all. Sure, you’re still very young and there is no doubt your skin retains an abundance of collagen and elasticity enabling it to snap right back into place with minimal effort, but bearing a child can do a real number on a woman’s body. You probably can’t afford to let things start down that slippery slope to Saggyville thus giving him any reason to let his eyes wander—again. I mean, we both know what happened before. For whatever reason, she failed to hold his interest, but why put the brakes on your torrid affair? After all, it’s not like you held a gun (oh the irony) to his head and physically forced him to desert her. And you certainly deserved some flirtatious male attention after your ugly duckling phase of previous years. I’ve seen old unattractive pictures of you cuddling a sheep or pig or whatever at the county fair as you clawed your way through 4H ranks to blue ribbon bliss. But you moved past that and gloriously bloomed by college, snagging a coveted cheerleader slot and thus basking in sought after praise and hard won attention.

How you tenaciously hooked up with him is unknown to me but the solid fact is you did. Suffice to say he left her and took up with you--a younger, prettier, sexier female who triggered bragging rights, made a terrific arm ornament, and won the title of trophy wife. Today you are the proud mother of his new baby, facing adult responsibilities and the joys and sorrows that accompany that privilege. You have what she formerly had, filling the slot she vacated. But a strange thing happens when vivacious, exciting girlfriends morph into boring, sexless, vacuous wives. The permeating smell of spit up and baby poo along with the daily stress and tedium of living together wreaks havoc with romance. Screaming infants abruptly squelch romantic, candlelit dinners and cold, harsh reality seeps into every crevice of life. But at least you had a legitimate, open courtship to see you through the inevitable rough patches that accompany matrimony. Oh wait. You don’t have that to fall back on, do you? Though he left his spouse once, surely that aberration will never occur again. I mean, it’s not like it’s a pattern with him or anything, right? He’s with you, his soulmate, his dream girl, a changed man, deliriously happy and totally satisfied with the way things turned out.

Still, it wouldn’t hurt to firm up those jiggly thighs and work those flabby gluts. I mean, taking precautions with respect to ones looks is just showing caution, wisdom and foresight. No use giving him any excuse to notice a younger, newer model who would jump at the chance to take him for a test drive. You’re the one who wears his revered wedding ring and bears his honored name. No worries, right?

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He's doin nappy pooh on the beach.

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This is where we are today!

Sugar Sugar

On days when there isn’t one sweet morsel in the entire house, I have been known to head straight for the sugar bowl, or in my case, the Tupperware canister. Isn’t that weird? But I figure, what the heck, why not go right to the saccharine source and assuage this ‘sugar jones.’ Besides, it’s not like I just scoop out handfuls with my greedy fingers (I use a dainty spoon :) )

“Love’s a Bitch, Duck.”

Even though I’ve seen it numerous times and recently purchased it at discount on DVD, I am hopelessly devoted to “Pretty in Pink.” I pretty much love any John Hughes teen angst flick but I think this is my all time fav.

“Young Andie is one of the not-so-popular girls in high school. She usually hangs out with her friends Iona (Annie Potts) or Duckie (Jon Cryer). Duckie has always had a crush on her, but now she has met a new guy from school, Blane (Andrew McCarthy). He's one of the rich and popular guys but can the two worlds meet?”

The original ending to this film depicted Duckie getting the girl, however the test audiences said they would have preferred to see Blane win Andie's heart and so he does. Jon Cryer plays a funny, cute nerdy guy who upon getting shoved into the girl’s bathroom and spying a dispenser of unknown origin, loudly complains that the boys room doesn’t possess a candy machine. But as deep as Duckie’s devotion is, it’s easy to see how Andie could get the hots for vulnerable, sweet-smiling Andrew McCarthy, the ‘richy’ who tools around in a BMW. Blane’s best bud is Stef (James Spader), who Andie sees right through and treats him accordingly. On a tragic note, Alexa Kenin, who played her buddy Jena, was murdered in New York City just after making this movie (filmed in 1985), and the flick is dedicated to her memory.

Much like high school IRL, things come to a crucial climax at the prom when Andie goes solo while proudly wearing this hideously cobbled together creation she euphemistically refers to as a ‘dress.’ Nothing says sexy like a shapeless Pepto Bismo-hued burlap sack monstrosity replete with puffy sleeves and a matching cloth choker. Yikes! Blane states a painful truth to Stef when he says: “You couldn't buy her, though, that's what's killing you, isn't it? Stef? That's it, Stef. She thinks you're shit, and deep down, you know she's right.” Soon thereafter, Blane leans in and coos to Andie: “I love you. Always.” He exits the dance and Andie rushes out, flinging herself into his waiting arms as they passionately kiss in the dark, rain-slicked parking lot under the streetlamp's approving glow.

If you want to relive those teenage triangles of days gone by, run out and rent (or promptly place in your Netflix queue) this nostalgic salute to the 80s.

Rain Rain Go Away

It wouldn't be like Florida to not rain a bit every day. I've been to the sunny state many many times and yesterday was the first day that i've ever experienced an entire day with no rain. Today, was back to normal. Richard and I headed across the street for lunch in the nice hot sunshine (clouds way over there) and as we sat eating, rain started dumping. We thought we would wait for the downpour to let up, however it proved to be too time consuming as he had a meeting he had to get to. So.... we had to brave it. We had 6 lanes of traffic to cross, which means we stood and waited quite some time to get 'clearance' to paddle across (another game of Frogger).

We laughed so hard though... it would have topped it off if someone had driven by and splattered us with sheets of puddle water.

Richard hasnt made it one day without getting something on his clothes. Sunday, while on the plane, he spilled his coke on his jeans and also on the girl next to him who was napping and clueless as to what happened to her white skirt. It looked like he pee'd his pants. Monday, he got chocolate on his pants... looked like he poo'd. *giggle* Last night, he got steak sauce on his shirt - right smack dab in the middle where his belly button is. Today, he gets bar-b-q ribs for lunch and all dressed in white. I knew for sure he'd come out wearing the stuff and he almost had a mishap, but managed to save himself. He gets out of the restaurant spot free then has to hike across the street in pouring rain. He made it clear to me that this didnt count... he didnt do it. HAHAHAH

Sun Worshipping Monday

I hit the pool today. My intentions were to study for a test i'm fixing to take... however I spent the majority of my time chit chatting with other pool goers. I met a couple from New Jersey that were friendly and informative. Larry gave me some good tips on where to get the best steaks and seafood as well as wine. Tomorrow night they are headed down to South Beach to a Cuban restaurant and have invited Richard and I to join them. I'm not sure if we will... might, but I dont know. Sounds fun though!

Still Life

This weekend was the civilized art festival and though somewhat windy, the weather proved pleasant and cooperative. Our locality and surrounding area has some gifted talent and a suitable picture was purchased to hang over the bistro table. Another local artist crafts the most gorgeous pieces and often shows her skilled handiwork at Chaos College. Several years ago I bought a lovely vase she had for sale and was thrilled to see more of her excellent designs at the event. Sure enough, exquisite urns called to me from their burnished shelf and I selected a lovely piece to add to my collection. Other earthenware products I have long yearned to possess are handmade goblets. Several artists displayed them but I narrowed down my favorites and proudly purchased two medieval-looking drinking utensils. Possessions in hand, we bid farewell to this year’s fete and headed for the vehicle. Several live pics were posted Saturday afternoon to give one and all a taste of this enjoyable occasion.

Friday night we visited sis and bro-in-law and “J” decided this might be an opportune time to rummage through my petite yet overstuffed handbag to ascertain just what sisser feels compelled to lug around on a daily basis. He took great pleasure in pulling items out and remarking on them, taking particular pleasure in questioning what ‘drugs’ were contained in ambiguous cylinders. He also commented on the excessive amount of lip and eyeliners, the necessity of transporting cinnamon breath strips (I'll never tell), and just what that soft, fluffy white object was nestled in the corner? (It’s called a kleenex, J) Fortunately, all items passed this rigid inspection and nothing of a dubious, controversial nature was detected. Do I look stupid enough to carry around contraband? :) LOL

A solemn, semi-annual observance occurred this weekend as I participated in the traditional “Changing O the Box.” With mixed feelings I rummage through the unwieldy cardboard container and replace summer garments with winter attire and vice versa. Though still conformed to, the scale has been somewhat reduced thanks to the increased amount of clothing now slung across plastic hangers plus the additional use of another closet. Nevertheless, this remains a time-honored marking of the seasons in Circeville.

Today I’m on the receiving end of merciless harassment thanks to my team once again getting its butt kicked this past Sunday. To add insult to injury, my FFB team lost also. No place to go but up, eh?

Pisces February 19 - March 20
Even after having spent 25 years as a geologist, you still freeze up every time you meet someone at a party and they ask you which is your favorite stratum of the earth's crust.

Some Sites

Last night we headed to South Beach to check out the happenings - and oh my, there were happenings. Its wild and crazy. Clothing is optional and size doesnt matter. While having drinks and grabbing a bite to eat at Wet Willie's some crap started going down across the street and people came out of nowhere to watch, the police showed up and it was the craziest scene. Some girl laid into a guy... fight right there on the sidewalk and people gathered like it was free entertainment. About an hour later (one street over) we were walking along and whammo! Screams and hollaring and lots of violent language like "Danny! You F'd it up! You always F it up!" the situation was quickly approaching us so we darted across the street to avoid whatever altercation was fixing to take place. It's wild there... people everywhere and apparently last night wasn't even a busy night. A girl downstairs told us 'wait til thursday, friday and saturday!' The beach is so nice though. Headed to the pool... more later!

Miami Vice

We made it to Miami... no one speaks English here. Actually, I'm pretty sure we're not even in the United States anymore. They obviously don't require driver's license's or offer driving classes... you are just on your own. Pick it up and go, I guess. I met a couple in the elevator today and I walked down the street with them for lunch. They are from L.A. and come to Miami every year for work and they own some property here. They just dart out in the traffic like a game of Frogger. Mr L.A. said 'you arent used to this are you!?' Did the look on my face when they just jumped out in front of cars make it that obvious that i'm not a local!?

I also met a couple at the pool from New Jersey. I chatted with them most of the afternoon yesterday and they have invited us to join them at a Cuban restaurant in South Beach.

I also met a guy in the elevator that had just returned from a run and we got to chatting about the air, and how it's different in other parts of the country. Well, anyways... that not important. What is important is the fact that while i'm talking to him he reaches up and wipes sweat from his cheek and sucks it off his finger. *vomit in my throat* then he reaches up and gets more from his forehead and eats/drinks (whatever!) that too! *grabbing trashcan to blow chunks while I type this*. I coudnt look at him anymore. That is the grossest thing i've ever seen.... I have successfully avoided him since.

Sunset on South Beach, Florida

SOUTHBEACH

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Art festival

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Art show purchases

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Live from the art festival

Sun, Sand and Barely any Clothes

This is what i'll be doing here shortly, and I can't hardly concentrate today. Besides the fact that it's friday (party on!), it's also my last work day for a bit. I'm heading out to the sunny beaches of Florida. At the resort alone there are ooodles of things to do, but we can run the whole state if we wish (we don't wish because I dont want to spend the entire time cramped in a car) so the fun list is endless. I'm debating on whether I want to drag the laptop with me so I can stay totally 'hooked up' or not. I'm afraid I'll get more attached to my addiction and miss out on some fun. Maybe the stories will have to wait til I get back home (then we chance it that I miss some, if not all, of the info because I will forget). Dunno... i'm still thinking about that one.

Last Minute Tweeking

Just a test b4 i hit the beach in Florida

Finish Line Friday

To finish off the week, I pretty much stole, er, borrowed from other buddies/bloggers/net people.

Stolen from Kel’s page:


Swiped from Topfive.com:

The Topfive.com’s Vocational College Cheers

5. Art school:
"Smash another head! Break another nose!
Let's turn their faces into Picassos!"

4. Truck driving school:
"Give us some Red Bull and pack of Skoal.
'Cause we're driving all night right through your goal!"

3. Modeling school:
"We'll get busy! We'll get hectic!
We'll purge you like an anorexic!"

2. Cosmetology school:
"Your passing sucks, your running fails.
Ohmigod! Who did your nails?!?"

1. Diplomacy school:
"Norway, Sweden, Timbuktu!
We know a nice way to say, 'FU!'"

From my fav humor site, The Onion:

Libra (Sept 23-Oct 23)

During an interview with your son’s grade-school teacher, you’ll be relieved to learn how little you give a shit about how he is doing.

From a fellow Buckeye blogger:

“As much as I love living in Ohio, it is somewhat embarrassing at times. We have some pretty rough times with our beloved (pro) sports teams and we ruin elections as if to say “Yeah, we did it! What are you going to do about it America?” But we do have our Ohio State Buckeyes, and we are still better than Michigan, so it isn’t all bad. So just to show everyone that no matter how long our football team stays number one that we are still good ole’ O-H I-O with a little “de de dee” (a la Carlos Mencia) on the side, here are some dumb laws that actually exist in our state”:

In Ohio:

1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
2. It is illegal to fish for whales Lake Erie on Sunday.
3. It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
4. The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
5. Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.
6. Breast feeding is not allowed in public.
7. It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.
8. It is illegal to mistreat anything of great importance.
9. No one may be arrested on Sunday or on the Fourth of July.

And finally, emailed to me from my Aussie bud, Gab:

Have a magnificent Friday!

On DH Lane...

Apparently, I missed one of our Desperate Housewives moments on our block this past weekend. Last night I walked over to the neighbors house to shoot the breeze and I got to telling him about our weekend of excitment. Little did I know, that excitment had been happening right there in front of my house while I was sleeping!

One of our neighbors has dated just about every single man on our block and it just so happens that when we bought our house, she was dating the guy that sold the house to us. Oh, about last week we noticed that he hadn't been around as much and this little car had been hanging around her house - and spending the night - and taking little junior to school in the mornings. WELL, I guess this past weekend while my neighbor and her new man were counting sheep, semi-old, not quite broke up but almost there, boyfriend came knocking on the door of her house. When she didn't answer he went around to the back and was beating on the windows... broke one of the windows trying to get into her house! There was drama... and I was sleeping thru it!

I guess they still have some feelings for each other, but they are seeing other people... not quite sure whats going on... but it's like high school all over again. *giggle* As my next door neighbor says ' we have desperate housewives happening right here!'

I'm gonna start calling him Carl...

Uncanny Resemblance

Many moons ago, Kerbear and I mentioned how much we loved the quirky sleeper hit, Napoleon Dynamite. Though this flick came out in 2004, his clones continue to walk the earth and one just happens to be this semester’s noon student worker at the gym. Last week as I trudged my hamster-like way on my sleek ebony treadmill, I kept doing double-takes at the lanky, frizzy-haired, bespectacled guy wiping down the machines and thought to myself, “Where have I seen this guy before?” Then it hit me! This was a walking, talking twin of the quintessential nerdboy. I bet he hears that a lot from fellow students. I signed in as usual yesterday and headed for my fav apparatus when I stopped short, whirled around, and marched right back to the desk to firmly request a radio station change. My tender ears simply could not handle dreadful country music for three straight days in a row! He beat a hasty retreat to the dial and quickly flipped over to oldies. *sigh and RME* Later, when he and his equally hirsute-challenged buds drew near, I kindly informed him any music was preferable to country and I appreciated his understanding. I really think a stern look from me will do the trick from now on. :)

In other news, I failed to mention that if you are unable to attend the "Construction Worker Ogling Festival" hosted at the crack of dawn, you are still welcome to join the noontime "Lawn Chair Girl Watching Bash". On balmy days (and they’ve pretty much all been balmy so far), the guys like to park their relaxing kiesters in lawn chairs they apparently keep stored in the onsite trailers and while chowing down watch their favorite channel, "College Girls on Parade." This location is a red-blooded American male’s dream.

The Topfive.com’s 5 Signs You're Having Trouble Adjusting to College

5> Animal Husbandry isn't exactly what you expected when you signed up for it.

4> The good news: You have a 3.5 average.
The bad news: That's your blood alcohol content.

3> You feel so awkward and unpopular that you quit the Young Republicans and join the Junior Reform Party.

2> The friendly wager you made with your new roommate about who would score first apparently has nothing to do with your Pokemon skills.

1> Your mother turns on Dateline's story about college binge drinking just in time to see you vomit on Jane Pauley.

Leo July 23 - August 22
You will once again be left feeling hurt and taken advantage of when a stranger you meet at a bar fails to call after a 21-night stand.

Hopefully this is just Temporary

Something really odd has happened to me today. I can't stomach the taste of Diet Coke! For the first time in all my years of life, I can't get a hit of my favorite drug. I don't know what's wrong... I've grabbed 3 different D.C.'s and only a couple of drinks... and it just tastes nasty. I'm able to put away the water though - which is really good. But still....

Just a Little Crush

I felt it was high time to share ancient crushes and their affect on my vulnerable psyche. :) As you all learned not long ago, I have a weakness for Italian studmuffins, but they are by no means the only species Ms Circe has succumbed to when Cupid’s arrow’s sought out a willing victim. Class, today we will discuss Tony and Dave, circa junior high, my most favorite educational institution of yesteryear.

Very typical of my crushes was Tony, a tall, skinny, cute, blue-eyed Italian smoothly cruising the halls of Adolescentville. Never paid the slightest bit of attention from his quarter, the feeling was most definitely one-sided. My most vivid memory was discovering to my joy and horror I was to be his partner in square-dancing in the gym. Though bitterly complaining the entire time, in reality we had a blast learning the moves though it would be stretching it a bit to pronounce us ‘poetry in motion.’ (Why Cleveland kids had to learn this is beyond me, but then again, most of us can polka). While I cherished the thought of 'do-si-do-ing' with tempting Tony, I had an acute problem with ‘cold hands’ and indeed that was what he remarked upon, much to my total embarrassment. Once again, the wretched earth failed to swallow me and Scotty neglected to beam me aboard to escape my red-faced shame. :( Moving on…

Besides the overwhelming majority of Italian students, we also had a goodly showing of Polish descendants joining me in the educational process. A truly magnificent specimen was sweety Dave. Totally veering from favored darker complexions, this homegrown honey possessed fair hair and azure eyes. Though I have no doubt he understood his power over the fair sex, he was kind enough to befriend undeserving me and his attentions were not unappreciated. But it certainly wasn’t in a girlfriend kinda way. I had shown him a pic of my gorgeous friend Angie (a whole 'nuther subject for another day) and he was entranced, but they never did meet as she went to a different school in a different ‘burb. He and I shared a math class in eighth grade and much to my acute pleasure, sat side by side. I fondly remember the time he jokingly shook pepper into whatever soft drink I had purchased at a store in our mammoth shopping center. Dave was always friendly, easy to talk to, and extremely easy on the eyes—a special guy. My close buddy Karen had the good fortune to reside near him on the other side of town and apparently our teenage longing for Mr Adorable was shared. There was a particular song popular at the time that seemed to speak our unuttered yearnings toward him and we requested it a lot. To further demonstrate his far-reaching charms, many years later yet another childhood friend and fellow nerd-girl, Jeanette, confessed to harboring a secret crush on our darling Dave.

Thumbing through my yearbook, I failed to find his smiling countenance after junior high, so I’m inclined to believe he either dropped out or moved. I later learned of his tragic death in a knife fight with a rival motorcycle gang. What a waste. The guy that could easily chat up both ugly ducklings and beautiful swans was forever lost. But certainly not to Karen, Jeanette and Circe in whose hearts he forever lives.

Just Phuket

This might be our next vacation spot.

Phuket Island in Tailand. The beaches look great, the entertainment sounds fun and the activities seem endless.

IQ 'U'

Though my beloved Browns LOST their Sunday season opener on home turf (what’s up with that???), I did manage to pull off a resounding victory in the FFB arena against the sissy Storm Troopers and that is even more astounding considering I had failed to acquire a tight end! This has now been rectified for this weekend’s match-up against the revolting Raw Dawgs. Nothing like having all your ducks in a row, eh? As of this morning, a sexy coworker has volunteered his manly football expertise and will be sharing coaching duties with the grateful Ms. Circe. He closely scrutinized our team from my computer as we cozily ‘put our heads together’ over possible changes/replacements. This may prove to be a stimulating season! ;)

Just for the heck of it I took one of those online IQ tests last night and scored very close to a previous test from awhile back. This piqued TBC’s interest and though having imbibed beer and currently downing Dominican run, he decided this would be an ideal time to assess his intellectual smarts. Not one to squash an outstanding concept in its gurgling infancy, I reset the quiz for his input and quietly slunk out so as not to impair the intoxicated firing of brain synapses. Eavesdropping from the living room, I overheard loud repetition of questions, muttered pondering, and occasional departures for additional ice. Quelling my curiosity, the exam was finally completed and I raced in to discover the anticipated results. Much to my utter amazement, the score was of decent numbers though trailing mine from a considerable distance. Puffed up like a peacock, he printed out his score so as to bask in the reflected glow of accomplishment. All well and good but he had input our cat's moniker for name so the document tells Stubbs the fine points of his testing abilities. Priceless!

After dramatically fainting upon viewing my last bill, I would change the wording to read Cingular…

Verizon Introduces New Charge-You-At-Whim Plan
August 21, 2006 | Issue 42•34
NEW YORK—Verizon Communications, Inc. announced a new service package for its wireless and residential customers that would charge them widely varying, but always high, fees every month depending how the communications giant feels at the time. "Our Charge-At-Whim packages offer the same mediocre quality and insufferable level of customer service you’ve come to expect," a Verizon spokesman said Tuesday. "But it adds an unjustified, arbitrary and, if you’ll allow us to boast, frankly unjustifiable method of determining just how much you’ll pay for them." Packages start at "oh, $69.99 a month, let’s say?" and went into effect about three or four months ago.

Libra September 23 - October 23
You used think it was your rapier wit and raffish charm that made you attractive to the opposite sex, but as it turns out it's just your orifices.

Oh Happy Day

My intentions at lunch were to just run a quick errand. I had a check I needed to deposit and I needed to get some cashola. I jumped in the MM and while getting situated I spotted a couple of bills that needed to be dropped off at the post office, so I rummaged thru my filing system (console) and found the stamps. Only two left, so that meant I also needed to get stamps, which I might as well do today since I'm dropping off these bills.

I headed off to the bank, signed the check, filled out the deposit slip and sent it on its way to the teller. She messages back ' we need your ID so you can receive cash back '. I go digging for my ID and it is nowhere to be found. I panicked but then quickly realized it's in Richard's wallet. Right where I put it Saturday night so I wouldnt have to carry a purse. I very sweetly push the call button and explain that I don't have my ID with me. 'Just a moment' and she obviously consults with someone. She comes back to tell me that they will go ahead and give me cash but next time I must have my ID with me. Okie dokes...

So on to the post office. I hop out of MM with my bills and cashola in hand to get stamps and when I walk in, a flipping line 15 people deep and one, only ONE, person working the counter. I watched as the other people in front of me seemed irratable - indicating that they'd already waited a good amount of time. The guy working the counter seemed in no hurry. He was helping two little Indian guys (dot, not feather) with a huge adult size box that they were wanting to mail. Counter guy whipped out a tape measure and measured all angles, weighed it, had deep discussions with little guys, measured some more... while the people in line rolled their eyes and huffed and puffed in disgust. I decided that today might not be the day to buy stamps, so I jumped out of line and hopped back in the MM. Just as I was pulling out, the two little guys came waltzing out the front of the post office carrying the adult sized box. They didn't mail it afterall.

I wasn't hungry before, and had no intentions of eating, but at this point I was starving. I drove around the corner to Wendy's and grabbed a salad and a diet coke. I checked the sack and it had all the goods... except a straw. I'd already pulled too far out of the drivethru to grab one, so I had to wing this. I wore white pants today... panic ran thru me. Not only that, but I got the southwest salad... complete with chili. lol

I made it chili-spot and diet coke free!

I got back to work and a friend of mine had sent me an email with this picture attached. Maybe this is a message to me. hahahah

Blogger is taking forever to upload pictures. I sent a mulitmedia picture and it's never shown up... maybe I should just call it a day and go shopping.

Day of Despair

The flawless blue sky portended a typical gorgeous warm September day in Oklahoma. Dressed to reflect the balmy weather, I hopped in the GP only to realize I had forgotten my cell phone. Oh well. This was the first time in the two years I had possessed one that this had ever happened, but no biggie. At approximately 8:30 am CST, one of our comp techs at the time, “J,” and I discussed the upcoming work orders for the day when “B” burst in from the library. While listening to the car radio coming to work he had heard a plane had hit the World Trade Center. “J” and I digested this unusual information as I thought to myself, ‘How can a little plane not see a massive building right in front of it?’ Or maybe the pilot had a heart attack and had wandered into skyscraper territory?' Details were sketchy and he and “J” left my office. Quite soon thereafter the unthinkable was declared and my office watched helplessly from my boss’ TV as events unfolded before our astonished eyes. Now two planes had hit the towers and numbly we stared at the flickering screen. No. NO! OMG NOOOOOOO!!! American planes with innocent Americans aboard, and innocent people unimaginably dying in the twin towers. A chill ran through me when the newsman announced the fact that hijacked commercial jets were employed. I remember asking the gathered audience if anyone had read Tom Clancy. One of his realistic novels (I don’t recall which) had eerily used the same technique as a flying weapon to hit the White House, but it was an almost empty plane. Surely these didn’t have innocent passengers aboard? The horrible truth unfolded in front of our unbelieving eyes as coworkers silently stumbled their way in to gaze transfixed at the informative rectangle showing unbelievable footage. Ordinary work proved impossible and our understanding president released us at noon. I remember pumping gas at the gas station and running a few quick errands before the long surreal journey home. And once home the televised images sprang to life and remained constant far into the night and for approximately a week as I cried. And cried. And noisily sobbed my breaking heart out for them, for us, for America, for everyone. Learning of the catastrophic disaster that changed our blissfully ignorant, comfortable, naive lives forever. 9/11.

We pause. We reflect. We remember. *bows head in tearful, respectful silence*

Look for the Button

Last night we went with a few friends to play some pool and at my first potty break I found the toilet in... well, working condition, but it made me wonder. The top of the tank was off and laying on the floor and a sign hung over the back saying "Push blue button to flush toilette". I checked out the situation before sticking my hand anywhere near that contraption. I looked inside the tank and saw a blue button and for fun thought i'd push it and see what happened. Sure enough the toilet flushed. Now I realized why the ten girls before me had chosen not to flush the toilet. The idea of sticking your hand in there is really kinda gross, but the button wasnt in water or anything.

A few minutes later one of the girls I was with came back to the group and was talking about this blue button and while she was talking, I realized it said toilette. I asked Richard 'how do you spell toilet (he thinks i'm crazy anyway so you can imagine the look on his face when I ask how to spell such an elementary word), I had to double check myself because at that moment I was visualizing toilette and i'm pretty sure that's not how you spell it and i'm pretty positive they weren't going for a more snazzy French version of the word. Kind of like how we say Target like Tar-jae... not Tar-GET. Its Toilet... not Toi-le-tay.

I told him that the sign said toilette. We confirmed that is totally incorrect so off to the Toi-le-tay I went to snap a picture. I sent them to our other site... you can check them out there.

Multimedia message

Go Browns! : - )

Painting the Town Red

Last night I got my hair colored.

Usually i'm a blonde but this time I went a little wild *snicker* and told Sheri to put some red in my hair. We did three colors... blonde, chestnut red, and a nutmeg brown and the three colors together really look good. C & P freaked because they have never seen me with hair other than some shade of blonde (it can vary from dark to light blonde). However, they have no idea that throughtout my life i've had blonde, black, brown (every shade), green, red (not just this time) and orange - which was not on purpose but because of my own mistake. The one time I decided to do my own hair, it went orange. I had to make an emergency phone call to my personal stylist and get the chemical mix formula to take out the Pumpkin orange before I could make the trip to the salon to get her to fix it up right.

We took pics of my new color... with one from behind. Actually that picture was intended for Richard... he loves these pants and my butt in these pants so he snapped the pic. However, it shows my hair... which I hadn't seen from the backside yet... so I decided to share that too! I like my new do.

Game Day

Saints vs. Browns

Cleveland Browns Stadium
Sunday, September 10, 2006
1:00 PM - FOX / WMMS

I've caught a quiet moment

I have been swamped this week and so many things have happened that are great blogging material, yet i've not had any time to post any of it. I hate it when that happens.

I haven't had any time to talk to my friends - I thought Bren had fallen off the face of the earth until I received a short little blip of an email from her today. Tiff has been gone, GFR is MIA, even Circe has been few and far between in her conversations *teary eyed*. Soccer season has started and it keeps me pretty busy when thrown in with all the other ten million kabillion things I have to do.

On top of all that, two of my most favorite-est blogs are going belly up, reorganizing, changing. Dan won't be doing his Daily Dump and Widwest is leaving our favorite two-some at Kiss and Blog. This news is so sad... Circe and I have exchanged emails expressing our shock and sadness. If you two are reading... we will miss you deeply and hope you come back!

C somehow wiped out his IPod and we've been working on getting music back for him. I messed with it one night and happened - have completely no idea how I did this - to load the Luau music for him. So for a couple of days he's been singing The Beach Boy's Wipeout. After spending quite a bit of time on it last night, Richard and C hit a 'bump' with downloading the music and out of frustration and exhaustion just gave up and hit the bed. Not before I heard 'mom, we have got to work on that tomorrow night!' So I guess I will be tackling that this weekend.

I'm so looking forward to our trip to Miami. White sand, surf and fru-fru drinks! Yeah, baby!

Are You Ready For Some Football???

Seeing as how my private league FFB Commish got “too busy” what with trotting out the flimsy excuse of becoming a new father, I quickly scrambled to enter a Yahoo Public League employing the appropriate yet clever moniker of Raging Alcoholics. I checked this morning to find the autodraft complete. To my chagrin, distractions and excessive busyness caused me to totally forget to request my beloved Tony!! *sniffs loudly* Hoping against hope, I punched up his name to discover someone else in my league has the auspicious privilege of utilizing him for their tight end. Still, I’m happy and working on gearing up for an exciting fun season! (I LOVE FFB!) And for the record, GO BROWNS!!!

More good news. When I returned home last evening, I found a brand new shiny silver (requested a color change) Razr awaiting me. All seems to be in working order so Ms Circe is back in cellular business. :)

Hospitable beach buddies were in town the past few days and though their dance card was extremely overbooked, I did get to exchange pleasantries, send my love to our mutual friends dodging hurricanes, and wish them a safe return to my beloved OBX. We love you, “T” and “B.”

The Topfive.com’s 5 Bad Romance Novel Metaphors or Similes

5. He Beatty-ed her shamelessly, making her squeal like Ned and hallucinate like Warren.

4. He awoke my slumbering womanhood with his double tall loin latte. "Starbuck!" I cried.

3. His chest was her pillow, and oh, did she drool.

2. Claire felt swept away by this dark stranger, a helpless dust bunny in the roaring cacophony of his gas-powered leaf blower.

1. His finger, weathered and rough from years on the ranch, danced in and out of his nose like a slimy ballerina.

Gemini May 21 - June 21

After two rapes, three muggings, and a heinous murder, you will completely run out of directions in which to look the other way.

Have a frolicsome Friday!
Circe ;)

Motorola Mishaps

My cell phone woes continue. Several weeks ago without warning my preshus pink phone started shutting down. The first time it happened I actually thought someone was playing tricks on me by sneaking into the office, cackling evilly to themselves as they slyly performed this dastardly deed. Last week the shutdowns increased alarmingly causing me to inform my Cingular dealer of the problem and possible solution. The replacement phone arrived via Fedex on Tuesday and I immediately started adding phone numbers not saved to the SIM card. After entering ALL of them, I started making minor changes only to have this lookalike lock up on me. WTF??? The little darling became totally useless and I forced myself to remain calm knowing I was dead in the water until Wed when I could take this POS in and straighten things out. Once again “software issues” raised their ugly head and since my original phone works a smidge better than the replacement, the replacement was returned and I’m expecting No. 3 to arrive today. Three’s the charm, right?

Though this situation has been a stressful, royal pain in the ass, the shining bright spot is our adorable Cingular rep, “S”. This 20something flower child was most definitely born in the wrong decade as all she lacks are white patent leather go-go boots and a raised dancer’s cage from which to wildly gyrate in. Picture this if you will…long, teased, ebony locks held back with a headband, perfectly made up face, lovely dark eyes, French-manicured nails topped off with revealing, hippie-style attire lovingly hugging her well-rounded body. And as entertaining as it is to look at her, she radiates caring sweetness from within. Here’s hoping she regularly receives merit raises for her excellent customer service because that cutiepie deserves it. :)

Someone is gettin Neekid!

Holy crapoly! I heard about this a bit yesterday, but this morning it was all over the radio. I wonder how long it will take for Playboy or Penthouse to cut her a deal!?

SNYDER - Police Chief Tod Ozmun is disturbed -- not by the fact his wife is featured on an adult porn Web site, but that his fellow citizens are circulating her downloaded nude photographs and calling for his job.

Stick People

This is something that has weighed heavy on my heart for many weeks now...

There is this chick that goes to the same gym I do and no matter what time I go, she's there. Lately i've had a pretty erratic workout schedule and she's still there... so that means a) she works out all the damn time or b) she follows me and goes when I go because she a) loves to bug the shit out of me or b) is secretly totally in love with me and i'm her motivation to live.

I'm leaning more towards she's got major issues and works out all the time. The first time I saw her, one word came to mind. Anorexic. She is a size minus zero. Her knees are huge and boney and stick out. She's hunched over a bit and her shoulders are razor sharp. She's probably early 20's and a pretty girl... but not because she is horribly thin. I can hit the gym (she's there), go to an hour long kickboxing class and when I get out, she's still on that treadmill. She always picks the same treadmill. Its the only one that happens to be directly in front of a mirror. She walks (at a whopping, non-sweaty 3.6 or 3.8 mph) and looks in the mirror at herself and then if she gets bored with that she picks up her cell phone and will be 'on the phone' for 20 minutes or so... and the whole time she's looking around to see if anyone is watching her (oh we are... but not in the way she wants!), or she's looking at herself in the mirror and tossing her head from side to side to see how she looks 'talking' on her phone. I've noticed that all those times she's 'on the phone'... she's never talking! So, its all an act... to appear important!? dunno.. but its all weird.

She will 'hit the weights' with little 5lb dumb bells and do curls or something. She sits right in the middle of all these huge guys lifting monstrous amount of weight and she's taking up space (little bits) with her baby weights yet trying to appear as if she's on this rigorous workout schedule and building mondo muscles. I wonder what she sees when she looks in the mirror. Does she see fat? Or does she see a wonderful sculpted body? Well, she has neither. She is by no means fat... she's very nasty skinny. Very unhealthy. She doesnt have muscles because there is no place for muscle to even form.

I feel better now that i've shared....

Sure Enough, Suri Exists

It's about dang time! Vanity Fair available September 12th.

Baby It's You

How is it that we gravitate toward a particular appearance or personality in potential mates? The upshot is I prefer guys looking the polar opposite of me and gal friends resembling spitting images. Have you ever looked at a picture of a stranger and known for a fact that if the opportunity to meet presented itself, mutual attraction would develop and flourish? I have always been drawn to males possessing dark hair, dark eyes and olive skin and while I’m sure part of it is a case of opposites attracting, I also think growing up in ethnic Cleveland surrounded for the most part by sexy Italians constantly grabbing my attention and setting my heart ablaze had something to do with it.

Several years ago I stumbled across the old '80s flick, "Baby It’s You" and everything just clicked into place. While this is not the greatest movie ever released, it was the diametrically opposite couple that held my attention. The Sheik (Vincent Spano) was broody, dangerous, and reeked of smoldering Mediterranean sexuality, and I totally understood the inexorable pull this handsome bad boy exerted on goody-goody Rosanna Arquette. With some minor changes, this showcased and magnified my formative school years in a nutshell.

The cut and dried plot summary explains:

In New Jersey, Jill Rosen, a frustrated high schooler, is intrigued by an enigmatic new student known only as the Sheik. Sheik is an Italian whose primary interests are his car, Frank Sinatra, and Jill. At first she is taken aback by his forwardness, but they soon develop a relationship, much to the chagrin of their parents. Sheik gets expelled from school, and Jill is accepted at an all-girls college. After a fight, Sheik goes to Florida to work in a club lip-synching Sinatra songs. Sheik becomes dissatisfied with his Florida lifestyle and goes back to New Jersey to try to win Jill over.

While that insipid quote is factual and straightforward, the underlying appeal of this movie is better clarified by a user commenter hailing from New York:

In the course of the movie, the on-again, off-again romance between them -which features all the quirkiness and unpredictability of most high-school romances, and then some- lights up, sputters, then heats up again. Free of sci-fi special effects or surrealistic flashbacks, this is a movie for people who love and believe in "romance" in the truest sense of the word - that one brief "Camelot"-like time when two people from different backgrounds and even worlds light up the world for each other, even though they sense it will end all too soon.

Maybe this helps explain the beaming smile on my face when SD, though not of Italian origin, signs off with ‘Ciao Bella.’ ;)

September Song

Greetings gang and welcome to Tuesday. That’s right my flirty friends, it’s not really Monday though it very possibly feels like it. Considering I am still fighting the ‘cold from hell,’ I can’t say that I enjoyed boundless energy or thrilling activities throughout my three-day weekend, but what the heck, it was still nice to be off and thanks to the recent bounteous showers, I did get a lot of (beer-drinking) mowing done.

The Topfive.com’s 5 Pickup Lines Used by MySpace Pervs

5> "My allowance is WAY bigger than that. I can prove it: I'll leave a plane ticket for you at Heathrow and me *and my dad* will pick you up at La Guardia tomorrow."

4> "Your parents are just afraid of the superpowers you'll get if you click on the Tree of Knowledge link."

3> "I just removed MyPants from my friends list to make room for you."

2> "Well, *I* happen to like Strawberry Shortcake panties. Ignore those insults."

1> "What's a Special-Victims-Unit-detective-pretending-to-be-a-13-year-old like you doing with a MySpace page like this?"


In case you missed the MSN list, here is a rundown of some of the crazy/goofy baby names celebrities have inflicted on their blameless offspring.

Gwyneth Paltrow: Apple, Moses
Angelina Jolie: Maddox, Zahara, and Shiloh
Victoria Beckham: Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz
Nicholas Cage: Kal-el
Frank Zappa: Diva, Moon Unit, Ahmet Rodan, Dweezil
Julia Roberts: Phinnaeus, Hazel
Bruce Willis and Demi Moore: Rumer, Scout, Tallulah Belle
Russell Crowe: Tennyson
Jason Lee: Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf (poor kid!)
Bob Geldof and Paula Yates: Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom, Pixie
Paula Yates and Michael Hutchence: Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily
Erykah Badu: Seven Sirius, Puma
Cher: Chastity
Geri Halliwell: Bluebell Madonna
David Bowie: Zowie
Tom Cruise: Suri

Gameday Weekend

This holiday weekend has been busy starting with Friday night - and it hasn't let up. Richard and I did spend a majority of Saturday trying to get into Norman to get to the OU game and then after spending the first half sitting in the drizzly rain and crowded accomodations, we spend a great majority trying to get out of Norman. That is just pure craziness there... and we're purely content with catching those football games snuggled on the couch at home or kickin' it with friends at their house or a sports bar. I'll pass on the chaos... its not so fun. You can catch the full story on this blog... I sent some pictures there as the events unfolded and I blogged bout it with the pics.

I hope y'all are having a great Labor Day weekend. It's going to rain today!

Bobble Heads

Friday night we had some friends over... they got a little crazy in the rain and hit the trampoline... got soaking wet. Trampoline's arent just for kids. They are also for big kids who never grow up. lol