Stay Puff Marshmallow

I've mysteriously hurt my foot. For a few days its hurt on top of my foot... like right behind my big toe. Right on top. It didn't hurt when I walked or anything, but when I put on my running shoes or pushed on that area, it was rather painful.

Last night I noticed that my whole foot appeared 'puffy'. Swollen. Richard put an ice pack on it and that helped the ache for a bit. This morning I stepped out of bed and whooooaaahhh! It hurt to walk. After a complete inspection of my foot, I noticed that a bruise is starting to form right behind my big toe joint.

This afternoon, my foot is more puffy and aches like no other! It hurts to walk! I don't want to bend my big toe with every step... it hurts to bad! I asked Richard if he was doing things to me at night while I was asleep.... negative. He says he's innocent. I have no idea what I could have done to it. I haven't fallen or dropped anything on my foot. I've had no catastrophe's or injuries that I know of... but now I have this mystery hurt.

How weird.

Inspiration Station

I know, I know! I have neglected you too long, my darlings. But if it helps take the sting out of my prolonged absence, I’ve had excellent reasons. Yesterday was spent in the dental chair (fun, fun), but Friday I was away soaking up helpful suggestions to make the college experience a positive one via speakers who focused specifically on fostering good relations among fellow employees, attending students and ourselves. The sessions were enjoyable, motivational, and downright inspiring and our final speaker was so mesmerizing, one could have heard a pin drop during her discourse. Nursing students provided health information along with blood pressure and diabetes checks. The pièce de résistance were the chair massages offered free of charge of which Mz Circe took full relaxing advantage. On a disappointing note, the vendor who always spreads an accessory-laden feast for public consumption was unable to make it, so I left without purchased goodies. On the upside, I won our table’s fall centerpiece door prize. (woo hoo!) This year our registration gift was a laptop carrier with the sponsor’s logo. Last year it was a zippered folder with this same logo emblazoned across the front, and a few years back we got to select a lovely totebag in a design (I picked animal print) of our choice. And one year was so unbelievably memorable that I have completely forgotten what souvenir we received. *sigh* At any rate, here are some shots for your viewing pleasure.

On our trek home, I spotted a billboard that said:

Wall Street
Bourbon Street
Sesame Street

--Only in America

The Gang (yep, I'm front and center)








Gorgeous colored chalk pic completed in about 15 mins by our first speaker













The centerpiece I won










The rest of our group at the table adjacent ours












Front view (smile gals!)











Transportation and our trusty driver. (Thanks, J!)

Cold as Ice

Finally!



It's almost the middle of October and it's finally cooling off at our soccer games. This fall season has been unusually warm. By this time, almost every year, we're wearing jeans and jackets and/or hauling blankets around to games, but so far we've been all decked out in shorts and flip-flops. Until this morning. It was a bit nippley outside!

I really hope that by Trick-or-Treat time gets here, its cool... well actually more than cool, but not freezing cold! I love it when its brisk and crispy cold outside for halloween!

Luna Sea

My Avon (that I didn’t want to order in the first place) came in last week (ok, it is a very cute handbag but still…) and Flower Child called to inform me of this. I was indisposed at the time of her call so TBC had a nice, long chat with her regarding the current well-being of her hub/his cuz/Nutjob City. My last post left off with his four-day hospital stay (preceded by The Slammer), but he was then released back into the wild. Things had been fairly quiet—until that conversation proved otherwise. From the one-sided dialogue I overheard, peace has not reigned supreme by a long shot. Among several things discussed, I learned that he would like either TBC or TBC’s bro to purchase a handgun for him. Now that would be a stellar idea considering he’s crazier than a loon and a deadly weapon would be a nice addition to his (so far) unsupported, mostly verbal threats to society. I would think the innocents he terrorized might not appreciate his taking ownership of such an injurious weapon. Or the male bystander he got into a fight with and had in a headlock before his arrest. Or the inmate who had the gall to eyeball him upon his incarceration provoking yet another round of fisticuffs. And much to my utter disbelief, he’s planning on suing the jail for inhumane treatment suffered at their callous, controlling hands. Can you believe it? I guess it was fine and dandy for him to scare the living daylights (s**t) out of employees and patrons of the two establishments he frequented. I mean, he did threaten to kill people in the smoke shop and burn down the Quik Trip hence his banishment from both places, but it’s just not fair that he wasn’t handled with kid gloves as he was hauled off to the cooler or during his stay there. And by golly when he’s the proud owner of a Saturday Night Special, he’ll be darn sure no one serves him a heaping helping of whoopass without swift and possibly deadly consequences. Oh, and did you know his driver’s license shows he’s had “mental problems?” Mmm, yeah. Guess that explains his need to have an intermediary do the dirty work of purchasing a heater. Not that anyone is going to. I hate to sound harsh, but I think someone needs to spend time in a professional facility qualified to readjust mental balance. Either that or take their meds and return to a modicum of normalcy.

Today is my Friday as tomorrow I’ll be gone to our annual Staff Development Conference in the city. If you recall, last year (remember the clown noses we all sported?) we took several cars rather than all bunching up in one vehicle. This year the Exalted Poobah’s new assistant has offered to drive the maxi-van and promised us it will be an “adventure.” (!!!) Maybe she’ll drive us straight to a lively bar for drinks when it ends and we’ll be snockered subordinates mooning startled drivers all the way home. Hopefully, I’ll survive and have pics to post on Monday.

Nancy Drew

It seems like forever since i've written! This week has been so busy. Between work and tons of meetings, soccer, being homeroom mom of the year and studying for yet another test, i've barely had time to come up for air!

However, tonight while cooking dinner and whipping out chocolate chip cookies I was thinking about something. Always and forever I've had this gift... the gift of "knowing". I don't know how to explain it, but I can always sense when something is amiss or just not right. I get eerie feelings when something 'just isnt right' or when I need to make a quick exit. I've been able to sense when things are wrong with someone ... ok, well you get the idea.

Anyways... I've also been pretty good at detective work. I have to give credit to Chaos College for helping me perfect my deviousness because that place allowed me hours upon hours to perfect such an art form. Heck, there were times when the job even required me to do sly detective work!

I've caught vendors having nasty affairs, i've sniffed out friends (and some not-so-friends) in dating sights and online in various clubs or groups trying to recruite (oh lordy... I cant even list some of them) 'partners'. Somewhere down the line I've learned to think like that person and "go" to that place where they might be. Weird, huh!? It's fun finding someone... and knowing a little sumpin sumpin about them and watching them act totally innocent. Thinking you have noooo idea...

My next mission requires Night Vision Goggles as I will be performing this little task in person... I'm excited! Just gotta find the goggles....
However, I have a few other assignments up my sleeve. It also helps to have friends and techs in low places... hehe Connections, baby!

When I grow up I want to be a detective. I love this work!

Space Invader

We’ve recently had some staff changes and are the proud owners of two new warm bodies joining our ever-changing IT circle. The new guy who shall now be christened “Nep” (short for nepotism as his mommy is a friend of Grand Poobah’s and you cannot tell me that didn’t influence the decision-making process) just started this Monday. He may turn out to be a sheer pleasure and delight or possibly a trouble-making, rat bastard, but at this point, who knows.

Our other new hire is “T,” aka "Cowgirl." I found her somewhat annoying the very day she came to interview but I realize not everyone makes a great first impression. After all, she’s a fellow Northerner (Michigan), albeit a rural farm gal with an inordinate love of the equine set. In the last few weeks we’ve gotten better acquainted and though the jury is still out, I’m slowly warming up, or I was until last Friday when I got pretty hacked off. My goal each week is to get in a minimum of three hours of walk time and as my treadmill hasn’t worked in ages, I make good use of the work machines at noon during lunch. It's how I roll. Well, last Friday she asked directions to the feed store in this town (yeah, like I’ve ever set foot in one *eye rolling*) and where the post office (more up my alley) was located. No problem. Then she suggests the ludicrous notion of me taking her there. In MY car. And she wasn’t just scoping out the sites as she also needed to buy feed! Quite frankly I have no freekin clue how big a bag(s) we’re talking about but my willingness to help immediately fled the premises. For starters, I’m currently driving The Beast, (fodder for another day) and once I am parked I do not move this vehicle. Period. This four-wheeled machomobile takes a full minute to warm up, guzzles gas like nobody’s business, and as parking spots are currently at a premium, I’m not about to relinquish mine for any reason whatsoever. Plus, I would have squandered my entire lunch hour squiring the newbie about town and been minus a much-needed workout. She plans to join me in the gym in the very near future and this is fine and dandy but da 'etched in stone' rulz are:

• I leave the office straight up noon.
• I walk over to the gym and will continue to: a. while the weather holds out b. until I change cars.
• I spend the full hour there; no leaving to grab a bite to eat.
• My workout days vary wildly so there is no set day I go.

So, she is welcome to join me. Or not. Yesterday she tried to get on my good side by bribing me with yummy Sundried Tomato and Basil Wheat Thins but then this morning she negated all her progress by making the grave mistake of invading my space! This is an absolute no-no and will not be tolerated. Office personnel are well aware of this unwritten rule that one does not come around the desk to stand next to the assistant unless one is invited to do so. Damn rule breaker…

Polkapalooza

Well Oktobertfest has come and gone and the fall season is now official. The crowds were bigger than usual and though it was quite humid and we got sprinkled on a few times, the rain held off nicely. I wore sensible (read: non-slip) footgear which aided in keeping my ever-precarious balance and a much-desired low profile. I stuck to my guns and no feathered boas or powdery funnel cakes were purchased. It probably helped that they ran out of funnel cakes early on and no girly boas were to be found, but still... Wildly veering off the ethnic German theme, I munched on nachos rather than bratwurst. While they did serve Pumpkin beer, it was not very pumpkiny nor was it particularly alcoholicy. I bought the large plastic mug rather than the commemorative glass one but never really got a buzz going on. And it wasn’t just the pumpkin choice that lacked ooomph, as a bitterly complaining bro-in-law sampled most of them with the same weak results. I saw a few people I knew and a lot I didn’t. Flower Child showed up in all her boobtastic glory and joined our laid-back group reclining on the mound. The costumed polka band did more talking than playing and when they finally got down to brass tacks, the strains of the despised Chicken Dance were interspersed with the Pennsylvania Polka and Elvis tunes. (wtf?) Nevertheless, I wouldn’t miss this annual event for all the tea in China. Happy Gourds!

My shoes











My mug












View from the infamous mound











Her father's pleasant disposition

A Great Ending to this Beautiful Friday!

I don't talk about people that I work with (much) but I think today is a day I need to mention one man in particular.

For starters, i've been blessed with a job where I'm surrounded by Testosterone all day. Its me... and all these men. I'm the only chick in our area and it makes for me being a little spoiled (I know it and i'll accept it). They are all such good guys and I love working with them. They make work so, ummmm.... interesting. haha

Anyways, one of the guys in particular is an older gentleman from Ireland. He has a heart of gold and is most precious. However, for the past year he's been sick off and on and the doctors have not been able to find exactly what's going on with him. This last episode occured Labor Day weekend and he fell deathly ill which landed himself in the hospital.... in surgery.

They finally found the culprit to the stomach problems and why he was requiring so many pints (gallons almost) of blood - for no apparent reason. He has a growth that had to come out.... plus it had lymph nodes attached. Things did not look good at the time. He spent several weeks in the hospital where he had one major setback that scared us all.... God saved that boy! He was seriously sick! An infection had set in and they packed him in ice and wheeled him off for emergency procedures (not clear on details).

For weeks he's been trying to bounce back, and today he called me to give me an update. He was chipper and full of energy! He sounded like our guy! He'd gotten a clean bill of health from one physician and meets with another one this week to be checked out. It appears as if they got all the growth out and so no more procedures will need to be done and possibly no treatments at all! We're so excited for him and so ready to have him back at work! We're all jumping for joy.

It's hard when one of your coworkers is out for so long. Not only do we miss him because he have to make adjustments in the office, but we miss him. We miss his sparkling personality and the flavor he adds to our people mix. I'm hoping he gets back to us in a couple of weeks!!! I'm so excited I had to share!

You guys have a great weekend!!!

Random Burp in the Universe

A coworker was overheard announcing his cog status in the scheme of things as he walked by my office Thursday morning. :)


Topfive.com's Quotes from an Animal Romance Novel

"'The muscular ram grabbed her by the wooly tuft on the back of her neck and with a sinful gleam in his eye said, "You've been a very baa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aad girl.'"

"Squeezing his octopus companion tightly with his tentacles, Oliver felt shame as he prematurely released his ink."

"Polly's new man was like all the others. He never seemed to ask what she really wanted, choosing instead to insistently repeat his offer of a cracker."

"He didn't need the love of a female. He didn't need a male, either, for that matter. He was a worm. He had it all."

"Every antenna went up when she entered the burrow. She was one millipede with legs that wouldn't quit."

"'Heartbroken at Rex's departure, Fifi threw herself to the ground next to their special tree. Suddenly, she smelled the most beautiful love letter she'd ever received. 'Be of good cheer, my love,' said Rex's urine."

Well gang, tomorrow is the long-awaited, much-anticipated Oktoberfest, and the weather looks to be downright spectacular (if not a tad on the warm side with a slight chance of t-storms). I can't quite explain why I feel compelled to be there, but it has something to do with the proper kickoff to fall frolics. Here’s hoping I manage to stay upright for the duration and incur no further embarrassment, but just to be on the safe side, K needs to bring her sketch pad. Stay tuned for pics and in conclusion, Prost!

Mooch Madness

I am so disgusted with moochers that take advantage of their other peoples good nature and generosity. Though TBC has many faults, he lends his clean, well-maintained shirt off his back and gives freely of his time and assets, usually to his detriment. I’m not quite that soft of a touch and though kind and considerate, exhibit more of a wary, reserved nature. In my opinion, if a person consistently makes piss-poor decisions and squanders resources, it is doing them no favor to forever pull them out of jams of their own making. Needless to say, the true solution would be that they learn to prioritize their funds rather than constantly be rescued by expected hand-outs.


Anywho, I cannot enumerate all the times TBC has lent equipment, tools, etc. to any friends or family that request it. Just last Saturday, he lent his trailer thingy (its correct name escapes me) to our bro-in-law to haul a vehicle to a drag race and practically before its wheels lurched to a halt in our yard was once again borrowed on Sunday by his Nutjob cousin! (It is still MIA.) Most of the time, our possessions come back broken or on empty, if and when borrowers bother to return them at all. Usually TBC has to spend needless time and effort in retrieving them himself. I guess the moral here is if you buy any equipment, others will figure its open season for borrowing because they surely aren’t going to spend the bucks themselves when they know you are the Lending Library of T(F)ools. We need to have a big bulletin board or something showing the culprit’s name and date borrowed complete with a legal document listing the somber consequences and severe ramifications should said item return in anything less than mint condition. Or better yet, once again employ the wise adage: “Just Say NO.”

An Ill Note

I'm suffering from the most brutal stomach virus. It kept Richard and I up all night long...with me running to and from the bathroom. With each drink of water I'd make two trips to the bathroom to 'get it out'. And it wasnt pretty. What went in... came out in one way or another.

So, first thing this morning we headed to the hospital. Yesterday my OBGYN told me to head straight to the hospital if things turned worse because dehydration is going to cause me lots of problems being preggers and all. After a night of craps and a morning of throwing up my heels... we decided it's time.

I was only slightly dehydrated but they monitered me for hours and gave me some good drugs to help keep food down and control exiting liquids. We also watched as I had some pretty big contractions! Wowza!

I feel better as far as the stomach virus is concerned. I'm now extremely tired and hot! Gotta go hit the couch again.... tah-tah!

Ach Toe Burr

Our son, BW, managed to misplace his flea collar and as he’s been in dire need of a regular version, I bought him a handsome black one festooned with rhinestones for his fuzzy, nekkid neck. He looks magnificent if not a trifle effeminate. I do hope he didn’t have to endure a lot of feline heckling later in the day when he made his outdoor appearance sporting this new fou-fou accessory. I could have sworn I heard Stubbly snickering behind his massive paws. Course, this is the guy wearing a rugged, he-cat, Harley collar so I suppose he has valid reason to chuckle.

In yet another salute to autumn, I bring you my list of Ten Things I Adore about Fabulous, Fantastic Fall.

Warm sweaters
Apple cider
Spiced wine
Oktoberbest
Bonfires
Colorful leaves
Candy corn
Toasted marshmallows
Cool, crisp days
Hot cocoa

And here is a list of recent searches that led hapless minions to our helpful, informative, and apparently penis-savvy site. :)

peniss
ohio state fans are insane
spanking fun 2007
blog rules of engagement for comments
shirtless vincent spano
penis fun
will ferrell glamour shot
deep impact wow
penis's- superbad
gym rat
wedding ring chick magnet
after basketball scratchy throat
dr. jason diamond
ou shoes
diminutive dictator chocolate
roses have thorn

Coolio!

Some People Just Should Not Speak

Some people are so rude.

This afternoon I was headed to P's soccer game and one of my friends hollered at me so I stopped to talk to her. She asked about Lil November and rubbed on my belly and we got to chatting about baby things. She's going to give me some of her baby's toys and play pen! Well anyways, the lady sitting next to her (who was not invited into this conversation, but joined on her own) asked "oh! Is this your first baby!?" I said 'no, it's my third'.

She responds with "oh! That weight won't come off." Just as stone cold as she possibly could... she said that to me.

So, I respond with "it will one way or another!"

Meanass lady, "with my first one it just fell off, but the second one I struggled with, of course I was 30 when I had him/her, but that third one probably won't come off"
I was ready to rip into her psycho meanass but I didnt... I just said "I'm not too concerned about it. I know how to get the baby fat off".

UGH. MEAN MEAN MEAN! I dismissed myself and stomped on down to the end of spectators where Richard and another little friend were sitting and proceeded to tell them about meanass lady. Appalled! They were simply appalled at the nerve of her! They both agreed that it was uncalled for.. and of course 'dont worry about it Kerry, you will be fine'. But still! How mean is that!?!?

Triple Play

Today is a gorgeous, temperate, end of September day, and Friday and payday. You just can’t beat that combo with a stick! I don’t want to ruin this heady feeling by discussing what a quick pit stop the moola makes in my checkbook before it’s off and running in the Bill Paying 500. I hear the whoosh, change the tires and it’s outty...


Yesterday I attend a CPR class to bring me up to speed on the latest lifesaving methods. The class was small but jovial and the instructor, though a pup, was very easy on the eyes. We had a lively and informative two hours but the highlight of the session occurred when the little head popped off the ‘infant’ of a gal in the last row feverishly working to resuscitate it. Though we cracked up laughing, I truly think that action launched a whole new set of problems for the tyke. Anyway, I’m prepared to take offensive action should the need arise but it would help tremendously if you’d secure your noggin first.


With the exception of reveling in the sunshine, the only thing planned for this weekend is possibly boating on Sunday and that may not happen as thunderbloomers are forecast. Saturday looks perfect but K is working on one of her perennial side jobs and won’t be available then. Soooooo, I may end up being a slug which would give me a much needed respite. Next weekend—Oktoberfest! Now that should be a trip (literally).

UGH

F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have got to be kidding me!!!!

IE locked up and lost my post. I had this really nice LONG post and hit PUBLISH and dang if it didnt' lock up!

I'm not rewriting.

Just TGIF

That's not what my post was about... but TGIF.

Chump Change

An instructor friend of mine was relating a sordid tale of an experience she had a few weeks ago with a current student of hers. Having a rough time making ends meet what with increasing gas prices and living off her Pell grant funds, this twenty-something mother of three has hit up my friend for cash several times in the past and generously been given a few bucks each time. L’s widowed mom has been living next door but as she is now unable to care for herself, she recently moved in with L. L plans to sell most of her mom’s unused belongings and this female con artist offered to help clean the house. L promised to pay her for services rendered but with the stipulation that payment would be on the following Wednesday. As promised, the student came to help and was even given freebies that would have gone in the sale including a microwave, sheets, a down comforter and more. That Monday, the gal called and emailed L demanding her money! L reminded her that payment would be on Wednesday as previously stated as she had not had time to visit the bank. The pushy conniver had the gall to offer to go with L to the bank but was informed that the bank is situated in a different town. On Tuesday, the cajone-owning bitch shows up on L’s doorstep insisting on immediate payment as "her cable bill was due." (And this is L’s problem, how??) Wednesday dawns and L tapes the cash-filled envelope to her door in hopes of avoiding this confrontational, mentally unbalanced nutcase. Ms Psycho knocked at her door anyway and lamely apologized for her bizarre behavior by giving some flimsy excuse about getting chewed out by another instructor which upset her, blahblahblah. Huh? Needless to say, that gal has now burned any future dollar bill bridges from my soft-hearted friend, but odds are this won’t be the last L hears from her. Beotch. Greedy, Scheming Beotch.

Fabulous Fall

It was with mixed emotions this past weekend that I bid adieu to sumptuous summer and graciously extended my welcoming hand to fantastic fall. It seemed only fitting that on the last day of summer, I don my mowing apparel and hop on the ole Guillotine of Death for its possible final spin around the property. And yes, in keeping with my scything requirements, I downed a couple of chilling brewskies. Unfortunately they weren’t Genesee but, oh well. It had been three weeks since the lawn’s last trim and I dejectedly noticed a grievous lack of ground morning glories yet an alarming rise in jumpy grasshoppers. This past weekend’s weather was the picture of loveliness and the choices of events to attend were varied and plentiful. Though I was unable to attend Kerbear’s babygirl shower, I had an enjoyable time selecting a gift for little Miss November and merrily sent it south via mutual friends. Also on Saturday’s "To Do" list was the annual Chili Cookoff here in Podunkville and the final day of drag racing across the state line. I made neither. TBC didn’t feel well and informed me too late to make alternate arrangements. *sigh*


I was sick yesterday and spend the rainy day catching up on Netflix selections as I ODed on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice two-disk series from 1995. While I've read the novel many, many times, not so much because it's a thrill-a-minute page-turner, but because it works better than a sleeping pill for snooze inducement. At any rate, this rendition featured one huge plus that Ms Austen's stuffy missive lacked--Colin Firth. I wouldn't say his extensive acting skills were much in evidence, but boy is he ever good at staring! He pretty much gawked at the leading lady during the entire five-hour miniseries which in turn caused alot of excessive staring (and drooling) at his attractive visage on my part. And could he wear a taller hat? Good lord that was some elevated headgear! I'm madly in love. Colin = eye candy. :)

In other news, I have had my fuzzy Teddybear ass handed to me on a shiny FFB platter for three weeks in a row and this week ain’t looking so good either. The Sneaky Snakes mean serious business as here’s what I found in my inbox this morning…Wish me luck!

I'm Desperate, I Tell Ya!

As we recall, Richard got an Xbox 360 for his birthday.... and he's been so excited about it and has tried so hard to get me excited about having it. I am not... nor will I probably never ever be.

Today, we got Halo 3. Yeah. (with a bit of sarcasm). Yep, I'm the one that purchased the card for us to get the game... i did it all because they wanted it. Not me. I was being unselfish for a brief moment. *giggle*

Today in the mail came a little gift to me... from Richard. He's trying so hard to get me involved in their gaming. He gets an "A" for effort for sure. He got me the Desperate Housewives game! Now I can design my own housewife and family, shop for clothes, and decorate the perfect home. I can seduce, snoop, flirt, outwit and share my dirty laundry with all the girls PLUS I can even cook and garden!

First thing i'm doing is lovin' up to Carlos. Then I might move on to the plumber...

November Showers

Ok... more baby stuff I have to share.

Today my sister and friend, Fachaitte had a baby shower for our little jewel and we had such a good time! We got a ton of neat things plus loads of cute cute little clothes! We got a bicycle trailer and a gymnasium for her to play in/on/with, plus diapers and wipes and booger suckers, and blankets and toys and pacifiers. We got quite a bit to help take care of our new little joy.

The centerpiece for the snack table was a diaper cake (non-edible). How cute is this!?!??


You can never have too many diapers and wipes! THANK YOU!!!


Such fun times...


Circe sent a pink camo outfit!!! *kisses* Circe! Thank you!! That was so sweet!!!


My friend Tanya and her sister along with Lisa. I worked with them (minus Tanya's sister who is here visiting from Russia) at Chaos College.


Kitchen table chit-chat


Everyone had a onsie to decorate for the baby to have to remember her shower.


I gave each of the hostesses pink fluffy slippers, glitter lipgloss and jewelry. Check out the diva shoes!


The hostesses with me.


Me trying on one of the onsies for size...


Another one of the onsies... design by Dawna


Thank you everybody!!!

Return to Sender

A woman finds a romantic letter in a bottle washed ashore and tracks down the author, a widowed shipbuilder whose wife died tragically early. As a deep and mutual attraction blossoms, the man struggles to make peace with his past so that he can move on and find happiness.

I rented the sappy tearjerker, Message in a Bottle, a few weeks ago. For starters, I think Kevin Costner is a puss (IMHO) so that made for Strike One. I realize there are legions of Costner fans walking the earth, but I’m not one of them. Secondly, the characters didn’t even bother attempting realism by speaking with a southern accent. This dreadful tale is supposedly set in Wilmington, NC, and having lived in North Carolina for several years, I can attest to the fact that true Tarheels do indeed talk with a pronounced drawl. And that brings me to Strike Three—it’s supposed location. As I watched the movie, I looked in vain for any familiar beach shots that vaguely resembled the Outer Banks. HA! For whatever reason, the powers that be chose deception over truth by saying this drivel took place on my special coast when in actuality, it was Maine’s seashore used for the setting. Guess they figured no one would notice. At any rate, I almost had to restrain myself from applauding at the end when Kevin’s character met his untimely demise. *said in loud umpirish voice,* “Yer out!”