Bowl Me Over

It came as no shock that the Colts galloped past the lumbering Bears, and though the first touchdown certainly got everyone’s attention, the game itself proved to be quite a bore. However, Billy Joel’s straightforward rendition of the National Anthem was most appreciated considering how many others insist upon adding superfluous notes. And Prince did a decent job as half time entertainment despite concern for the safety of his frantically twirling backup dancers and potential electrocution of his royal highness during the persistent (purple) rain. And speaking of precipitation, I wondered how those doofuses shelling out big bucks to take up space at the stadium felt about their soggy accommodations? Fox Sports enlightened us.

Officially, less than a half-inch of rain fell on Dolphin Stadium throughout the day. Yet the persistent drizzle, combined with northeast winds that gusted to 21 mph, made the Super Bowl soggy and sloppy. Virtually everyone on both sidelines wore raincoats or jackets. Players sometimes slipped on the turf. Uniforms were soaked through by halftime and there were large pockets of empty seats - a most unusual occurrence at a Super Bowl, where face value seats cost at least $600 apiece. Jordan Gardner, 20, paid more than $5,000 for two seats in Section 416, near midfield along the Indianapolis sideline in the top deck of Dolphin Stadium. He and companion Katie Lee of New Canaan, Conn. skipped the halftime show with Prince - who won a Grammy for "Purple Rain," which he performed in what seemed like a fitting touch.

I’m going to have to side with Slate on the status of this year’s pricey, over-hyped commercial offering. “With minor exceptions, the ads this year were disappointingly small and instantly forgettable.” None could really be called exceptional but here are the few I felt were mildly amusing along with comments from Fox.

Bud Light, “Mind of Mencia”

Comedy Central's Carlos Mencia teaches a classroom full of people of various cultures of ethnicity how to ask for a Bud Light in various dialects and ethnic speak. Punchline is, if you get asked for your Bud Light, you don't speak English.

Chevy, “All-male Car Wash”

While this one would appear to be Chevy throwing a bone to the female viewers, I think it was actually a way to make all the fat men watching the Super Bowl feel better about their own bodies. Shout-out to the naked, guitar-playing cowboy who pops in at the end. Did they have to fly him in from Times Square?

GM, "Robot Unemployment"

A robot gets laid off at GM, looks for other work, has no luck, and goes to a bridge, looking to end it all. It was pretty funny up until this point, and you were waiting for some humorous payoff. But then the robot jumped ... then woke up from a dream sequence and found itself back at work. Not just a creepy ending, but unintentionally representative of the actual state of the American automaking industry.

Emerald Nuts, “Low Blood Sugar”

The Super Bowl is legendary for bringing extremely old-school stars back from wherever they've been hiding for the last decade (in most cases either Vegas or Branson, Mo.) and allowing them to star in very expensive commercials. And this year is no exception, as Robert Goulet is wreaking office havoc. Now while I normally don't approve of bringing former stars back from the dead in Super Bowl ads, the notion of Goulet causing trouble while the office is suffering from low blood sugar is pretty funny.

Chevy, “All-male Car Wash:

While this one would appear to be Chevy throwing a bone to the female viewers, I think it was actually a way to make all the fat men watching the Super Bowl feel better about their own bodies. Shout-out to the naked, guitar-playing cowboy who pops in at the end. Did they have to fly him in from Times Square?

And finally, one we could have all done without seeing:

Flomax, "Here's to Guys"

Here's to guys who want to spend more time watching the game and less time in the men's room." It's like they're talking to the FOXSports.com newsroom. But I digress. It's really long past time where advertisers are permitted to shill drugs for men's health problems on sporting events. Legislation is necessary. Please call your congressman.

All in all, a mediocre showing...

Super Duper

The excitement is building for our revered annual Superbowl extravaganza as all America gears up for the most pervasive nationwide football party ever. And I’m snuggled up right smack in the middle of these enthusiastic throngs. My dilemma is that I don’t much mind which team wins the championship as I have no strong pull toward or against either one. Normally I take into consideration the geographical location in reference to home base but in this case, both are out of Midwestern states and there really isn’t much difference. Therefore, the organizer that I am felt the need to tally up the pros and cons in order to make an informed decision. These somewhat lame, personal considerations came into play while reflecting on my choices.

Colts

1. Peyton Manning has been my FFB QB for the last several years and I really can’t lay the blame on him for my FFB failings.

2. Indiana is my state’s next door neighbor which can make for close, fuzzy ties or aggressive sibling rivalry. *glares at Pittsburgh*

3. I’ve driven through Indianapolis on I-70 on NE trips.

4. TBC and bro-in-law are rooting for the Colts and I love playing devil’s advocate.

Bears

1. They are also perched next to a Great Lake.

2. My mom was born there.

3. One of their team colors is orange and being a Browns fan, I have much in the way of citrus-hued accessories and clothing.

4. Several of my cousins reside in Chicago.

And yet, none of these enumerated facts were of much help in picking the all-important preference. Next, I googled “Who is Cleveland rooting for in the Superbowl?” and came across some savvy hometown perspective. Mike from God Hates Cleveland Sports had this to say:

CHICAGO BEARS

Pros: A kick-ass defense is what football is all about. Chicago is almost a sister city to Cleveland. Or at least a parent city, cuz it's the city we want to grow up to be. And though the Bears is one of the NFL's storied franchises, they've been fairly downtrodden over the last 10 years or so for their 1985 Super Bowl championship.

Cons: The Bears are still living off of that 1985 Super Bowl championship. Then there's the White Sox, Michael Jordan, and the World's Largest Tavern a.k.a Wrigley Field, where the Cubs perennially disappoint. They got plenty in Chicago, they don't need another Super Bowl title.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

Pros: Peyton Manning is one of the NFL's good guys, even if he does throw his offensive line or defense or idiot kicker under the bus every now and then. Tony Dungy is a class act. And they've been a fun offense to watch for years.

Cons: It's the Colts fault the Browns moved to Baltimore to begin with. First, they drafted John Elway, then didn't want to pay him enough money, so he held out and went to Denver. While there, he crushed Browns fans dreams. Then the Colts snuck out of Baltimore, leaving a gaping hole that Art Modell eventually filled.

After much soul-searching deliberation, I have decided to throw my support to the Chicago Bears (sorry TC!) and dug through my closet to find appropriately-hued attire. Glued to the TV, I’ll be resplendent in bright orange jeans and a navy Rip Curl surf shirt complemented by numerous orange accessories (see above) as I once again play hostess with the mostest to our regular posse. A panoramic spread of gastronomic delights washed down with a steady flow of Genesee beer will grace the groaning table. Pictures are promised as we pay homage to this most glorious of all national holidays, Superbowl Sunday. In conclusion, GO BEARS!!!

Love Is In the Air

My preshus honey bunny hubby pooh can't remember jack squat when we are out and meeting new people. I have to remind him of their names or where they work, etc. He's just out enjoying himself and trying not to busy his mind with minor details like your name. That's my job. Always has been and I thought, always will be. Until tonight.

We headed to our weekly Power class, loaded up on weights and proceeded to get started. Some new girl was heading up our hour of intense muscle use and she introduced herself (I didn't catch her name) and said she was substituting for our regular instructor and would also be covering for her in a couple of weeks and its likely that she will take over either our class or the Monday night class on a permanent basis. That's cool.

Anyways, we get started and by the second song I realize this is 'Richards kind of music'. Kind of dark.... ok, wait. No... it was German or something. Something that he'd listen to. I looked at him and he was just lifting away with no a care in the world... it was like he'd died and gone to heaven. He smiled and turned his attention right back to the new little sub.

All of the instructors we have for this class are thick. Not fat, but thick. They are muscular and can lift massive amounts of weights and with ungodly amounts of reps. This little girl was slender and about, ohh... a size one. I tried to find some muscle tone, but she was just thin (not like anorexic girl, who by the way was a noshow tonight). This instructor is a hard-ass! She worked us harder than any of the 'muscular' instructors and is a damn slave-driver during abs. I love her!

I watched Richard during our class... I watched him, watch her... more than any other instructor. He even got his form perfected, which he refused to do in any other class. But little new sub got him to do it. I thought, 'if he wasn't with me... this girl would be one he'd want to hook up with'.

After class she came over and introduced herself again (I still didn't catch her name) and asked if we were new. She said she hadn't seen us around before... (but we hadn't seen her around either). I told her we'd been members for quite some time but we'd just never been in a class of hers. She went on to talk to us about how she's a school teacher and is going to start teaching more of these classes and hopes we enjoyed it and yadda yadda. I told her we did.... and thank you... and see you next time.... and all that good stuff.

We stopped at the clipboard on the way out so we could sign-in for the class (kind of backwards way to do it, but we always sign-in afterwards) and I noticed her name at the top of the form. As we walked out, Richard said 'her name is Crystal'. I think that's what he said... i've completely forgotten now what her name is/was. We got our keys and headed to the car. He plopped down in his seat (with his new-found energy... that he rarely has when we leave the gym!) and says "I really like her!" (may I interject my 'no shit Sherlock' here?)

I like her too. She's hardcore and makes me hurt! I love that!!!

I said, 'you know... she's your type of girl'. He says, 'yeah, she is! I was loving that music she was playing. She's got great taste and blah blah blah blah' (I totally spaced out about here). I follow with ' I had a thought while we were exercising and I was watching you watch her. If I wasnt' in the picture... you'd so be all over her!' He confirms that she's his type and follows with all kinds of information like... she's a teacher (he never remembers where people work or their position) and that she's thin but has muscle tone. I had commented earlier that she was so thin and not too muscular however he informed me that I was mistaken. She had muscle tone because while she was instructing and lifting with us, her muscles were popping out and he could see that she had blah blah blah (whatever).

I would not be surprised if we suddenly get interested in more classes and it just by chance is being taught by Crystal. I won't have to drag Richard, kicking and screaming, to the gym. He'll meet me at the car when I get home from work.... all dressed and bottled water in hand... kind of like a kid getting to go to the candy store.

MEN! But I guess if it works.... I'll go with it and let her heavy German music loving thin blonde butt suck him into being a gym rat. That's what i've wanted all along... *giggle*

Dial Trials

Our “favourite” (hehe) Canuckian chick recently blogged about misdialed numbers and I just had to relate a few personal tales to our readers. One that really sticks out in my mind was the adamant male caller who persistently argued that I had paged him. This was years before Caller ID or even cell phones. It was 11 pm on a Sunday night and though I had not quite drifted off to sleep, the jolting ring at my bedside most definitely scared off the sandman. Not satisfied with my denial, he called me back. Several times. He didn’t believe me! Fully awake and now employing the kitchen phone so as not to disturb TBC, I continued my futile attempts to get through his thick skull that there was no way on God’s green earth I was the guilty party that did this dastardly deed. In the ensuing conversation, it was established that a) it was now almost midnight, I resided in Oklahoma and most importantly, my sleep time had been greatly depleted for someone who had to get up for work the next day, and b) he was in Boston with what suspiciously sounded like raucous, background bar noises and there was no earthly way the culpability rested with moi. After further interrogation, it was ascertained that while I indeed possessed the correct digits, either he or the person paging him (I forget which it was now) had foolishly transposed the area code for LOUISIANA thus getting an increasingly miffed me in OKLAHOMA. Thanks for the memories buddy and never argue with a sleepy, disgruntled Mz Circe.

TBC and I have had the same land line number for ages and fortunately the amount of wrong numbers is not excessive though it does occasionally happen. If it occurs it tends to be someone transposing the numerals of a local convenience store. The biggest headache has been TBC’s recent cell phone acquisition. I have seriously speculated the possibility that some eminent drug dealer was the previous owner. TBC must receive five wrong calls a day (and going far into the night) and the name requested is rarely the same. Since I pay for cell phone usage and he likes his apparently popular number, I finally recorded a firmly worded message clearly enunciating precisely whom they were reaching in the hopes of cutting down persist misdirected calls.

“Attention Head-Firmly-Wedged-Up-Your-Ass Callers Who Obviously Don’t Give a Rat’s Toenail if You Actually Reach the Party You Intended as You Just Keep Calling This One Again and Again Even When Clearly Told the Person You Want is NOT at This Number. Here are the facts:

"Lisa/Brett/Tom/Melanie/Rick/Chester/Jennifer is NOT at this number. Please make a mental note to refrain from redialing this number 3 seconds later in hopes the person in question will now miraculously answer. I will assume this person is someone you know personally as most of the wrong calls originate from our particular town. May I suggest that the next time you see them you question the possibility of a change in their cell phone affilation or designation and request that you be given the updated information? Of course, it is within the realm of possibility that your friendship status has altered and it is with malice aforethought that you are not in possession of their current number. This is not my problem. Nurturing new, preferably substance-free acquaintances might be something to consider. Have a nice day.”

Muscle Madness

Anorexic girl is back on the prowl. Actually, she's never been off... but this week she's really driving me crazy so I have to write about it. I've blogged about her before (i'll find the post) but here lately she's taken a new look.

Let me briefly refresh memories...
She is at the gym 'working out' regardless of what time I make it in, so that means she's there all the time. I never see her crack a sweat yet she clocks hours on the treadmill or eliptical trainer, lifts baby weights, etc. She selects the same treadmill every time because it is directly in front of a mirror and she can spend the next hour or two staring at herself and periodically checking her phone to see if she missed a call even though it never rang. In our weight training class she places herself in the very front and spends the next hour looking herself up and down - regardless of what position we are in, she's looking in that mirror. Oh! and.... she's a complete biatch!

She won't speak. I guess she's afraid she'll crack her makeup if she smiles or speaks. A few days ago, I had a soft moment and I passed her on the floor... I smiled and said 'hi'. She just looked at me... then away... and walked on. Biatch! Her scrawny undernourished cellulite arse has issues!

One of which I can't quite figure out. She looks pregnant. She's deathly thin but has this protruding stomach. Of course it could be distended because she's starving, but it appears as if she's got a bun in the oven. She stands around with it sticking out and doesnt try to suck it in. It doesn't seem to be growing though.... well, it has somewhat because the first time I noticed it was about 4 months ago but by this time it should be huge! I'm not sure what's going on there... but with all the admiring she does of herself and how she thinks she's perfect, you'd think she'd noticed the roundness in the middle.

Last night she was 'training' another girl. Now, that was a sight to see. Anorexic girl, who curls a whopping 7.5lbs each arm, training another person. I noticed she was even loaded up on some drink... those that athletes mix for energy and muscle building. She'd filled an entire gallon of water with it and was carrying the gallon around sipping on it. Good grief. That girl needs a hamburger or a big shot of protein supplements. Something with substance! An attitude adjustment wouldn't hurt either!

Wilde Childe

Back in junior high, there was an extremely attractive gal with a very tawdry reputation. (Doesn’t that sound like the beginning of a fantasy fable?) Lovely Linda was notoriously known for her flagrant bed-hopping and brazen thievery. We must have shared one class together as I recall overhearing many sordid tales of her wild exploits and narrow escapes. Sporting lavish face paint applied with her trusty trowel, she possessed pretty cornflower blue eyes, a substantial amount of bleached blonde hair, and a flawless, angelic face that belied the fact she was in reality, one wild teenage hellion. Two specific incidents come to mind as I nostalgically muse about days gone by. One was the widespread knowledge of her having posed for nudie pix and the extensive circulation of said photos throughout our hormonally-fueled campus. She was fully aware of them and quite proud of their existence and though I never saw the actual evidence, I assume they truly existed and were not a figment of overactive imaginations. Secondly, I remember her boastful bragging regarding her controversial skills at shoplifting. To this day I recall her telling an enthralled female audience about the time she swiped an entire ensemble right out from under the store’s oblivious nose (pre-clothes tagging) by wearing it under her outfit. Nowadays, her exploits would hardly raise an eyebrow but back then, she was considered quite the radical renegade. She dropped out of high school after an unplanned pregnancy overshadowed her educational endeavors and her further forays through life remain unknown. Though she made for a lot of gossip fodder at the time, I honestly hope she found that elusive happiness that seemed to have evaded her troubled youth.

When Worlds Collide

You can be anywhere where when your life begins. You meet the right person and anything is possible.

Carlos: You're crazy...
Nicole: ...and you're beautiful.

“When fate steps in and brings together two high school seniors from opposite sides of the track, it's something crazy/beautiful in this sexy, fun and energetic story of first love. Nicole (Kirsten Dunst) is the 17-year-old troubled daughter of a wealthy congressman who never met a rule she didn't break. Carlos (Jay Hernandez) is a grade A student with big dreams who endures a two-hour bus ride every morning to attend high school in an upscale L.A. neighborhood. Their innocent flirtations quickly develop into passionate love, but Nicole's self-destructive behavior threatens their relationship and puts Carlos' promising future in jeopardy. Will their intense passion keep them together despite the objections of their families or will Carlos be forced to plan his future without Nicole? Surprises lie at every turn in this wildly seductive and critically acclaimed drama.”

A few weeks ago I rented Crazy/Beautiful and found myself rooting for this diametrically opposite couple. I’m all about reversing the usual stereotypes and she plays the spoiled, bored, substance-abusing, rich gal who initiates the romance while he’s the wrong-side-of-the-tracks, ambitious, serious, feet-firmly-planted-on-terra-firma guy. Though never having set foot in a plane, he yearns to be a naval pilot and she just wants to live it up and get high with her like-minded, hell-raising buddy, Maddy. Braless Nicole in her cropped tops, low-riding jeans and overt, in-your-face sexuality juxtaposes Carlos’ reserve and understandable wariness of any extraneous attachments. He has a well-planned out life and given the opportunity to make something of it, has no intention of wasting it. On the other hand, she doesn’t look past her nose or care what people think and lives her life on the edge. As their involvement deepens and his responsibilities go by the wayside, big brother is compelled to read him the riot act. Carlos disentangles himself from her sensuous web but gallops to her rescue when she incoherently answers her cell while attending a raucous party. Together, the viewer and Carlos discover what prompts her undisciplined behavior and though it doesn’t excuse it, insight and sympathy are obtained. Her Latino knight in shining armor whisks her away before she can be sent to a Betty Ford-like clinic as they spend time alone mulling their future. Seeing the error of her ways, they return, giving her the opportunity to make amends and come to terms with her family. In the end, he ships off to boot camp to embark on his exciting military future and this newfound, responsible member of society is anticipating her first reunion with him. Love conquers all...

Potty Break

In our continuing commitment to get unpacked, moved in and decorated, we gave our bathroom a splash of sparkling personality this weekend. I liked the brightness of the white walls, however it lacked some flare. With the master bath being an extention of the master bedroom - and we are working on the decor on the bedroom - the bathroom needed something to make it more attractive - Eye-catching!
Our bath before:
The blue tape was used for painting purposes only.

Our bath after we painted.

We chose to leave the walls around the vanity area white so that there wouldnt be a red/pink cast on your skin. The red and white looks sharp and gives the bathroom much needed spark! Its bright, yet homey.... comfortable. However, I hope my guys don't get to comfortable in there and start camping out! lol

Quote of the Day

QUOTE OF THE DAY


"I don't mind coming to work,
but that eight hour wait to
go home is a bitch."

(thanks Anita)

Once Upon A Time

Now that the holidays are over with i've got some time to get back to unpacking (no... i'm not finished) and doing some much needed decorating. In the past few weeks Richard and I have been busy digging through our pictures and decor and deciding what to keep and what to use and making our what we need to go out and buy list. Our windows have remained bare with the exception of the shutters added by the builder, but other than that we've not done any window treatments.

Remember the icey snowy slush post... well that was when we searched out curtain patterns and fabrics. We've decided on the fabrics and a few days ago I called one of the women given to me by a girl in a fabric shop and made an appointment to visit with her. She gave me her address and directions to her place... which is on the south side of the metro area. A place I typically don't go. The South Side.

Yesterday, I left work and headed her way. I gave myself a few extra minutes to get lost (always a good plan here) but it was pretty easy. One turn off the highway and a long jaunt down the road. The homes were really nice and all placed on huge lots... acres! I got to where her house should be and I saw this castle thing. I thought 'why is there a restaurant or something like that out here!?' It was in the place where her house should be, but I drove right past it because surely that wasnt it. At the next house, the address was too big. The castle house is where i'm going.

I turned around, grabbed my phone - because I've gotta take a picture so I can blog it! Here is the house where the lady lives that is making my curtains.

I went up to the front door and she greeted me. She was extremely personable and friendly. We chatted up a storm... laughed and carried on like kids. I think we'll be friends. Her house is really nice... kind of horseshoe shaped with a pool in the middle courtyard. Inside it's decorated all castle-like (I wanted to snap pictures there too but I think she would have clued in).

Musical Chairs

I get the weirdest requests when I sit at S’s desk or as I like to call it, “play S.” I have worn this alternate hat for most of this week and Wed, an assistant came in asking if Water Buffalo could reserve the faculty lounge for some disability meeting next Monday, at 2pm!!!I looked at her like she had sprouted three heads as I couldn’t remember any time in the past we have ever closed down the lounge for a meeting held smack dab in the middle of the day. I told her I had no knowledge concerning this and maybe it would be better if she checked into another conference area more conducive to her needs.

Yesterday morning I beat WB to the 'think tank' and being in a humorous mood, she proceeded to bang on the door and "pssst" at me the whole time I was in there. When I finally emerged she slapped in on the butt and told me I was being ornery! (Does that qualify for sexual harrassment?)

But even more bizarre was yesterday's mind boggling phone call. Though D was slated to play S, I briefly filled in from 10:30 to noon while she left for a prior commitment. At straight up twelve, the phone rings. I debated whether to let it go to voicemail or dutifully answer the damn thing since I hadn’t left for lunch yet. Like an idiot I picked up the receiver to hear an extremely ridiculous solution to a seemingly minor problem. It seems the bigwigs at a large medical facility were meeting at our offsite lake facilities and did not realize a key was needed to gain entrance to enter the premises. Imagine that! A KEY. Their logical answer to this little wrinkle in the plan was to employ BOLT CLIPPERS to enter and as the gal cheerfully informed me, they would “be happy to pay for any damages incurred.” This seemed a totally rational solution to this pesky little matter so I agreeably retorted, “Go ahead! Feel free to flagrantly violate school property and slice up any damn thing you need to gain entry. No problem!" Ok, that is NOT what I said. Totally flabbergasted and dumbfounded, what actually came out of my mouth was, “I think you need to talk to the finance office about this,” and I transferred them. So I come back from lunch very curious to know how things turned out. It is imperative I make sure someone knows what went down in everyone's absence so I flew into our dean of campus construction's office and poured out my unbelieveable tale. Fortunately he thought it was kinda funny and felt a lack of communication lay behind this strange state of affairs. Dutifully he strolled down to the finance office to get a status report and discovered the med center contact had indeed spoken to finance and was firmly informed under no circumstances would destruction of said properly be excused or sanctioned and to COME PICK UP THE KEY. Though not happy, they did as instructed and completely unnecessary vandalism was thus avoided. (Who the hell do they think they are anyway??) An unnecessary brouhaha was peacefully settled. Whew!

It's a new day today and I play 'S' ALL day. I shudder to think what unexpected predicaments may finish off this peculiar workweek............ *shakes head*

Texas Poll

The latest telephone poll taken by the office of the Governor of Texas asked whether people who live in Texas think illegal immigration is a serious problem:

A) 35% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."
B) 65% of respondents answered: "No es una problema serio."

HAHAHA

Flower Child

TBC has tons of relatives and one of the fam’s more recent acquisitions is his cousin’s second wife, P. They met and married in Arizona but it wasn’t until their move to Oklahoma that I have gotten to know her better. She has held several jobs in our fair town but she is currently working as a beauty consultant for a well-known company and this has resulted in more frequent contact. Unique P is the quintessential hippie. She’s all about health food and respect for the earth as she expounds on her view of life with her clipped Northern (obviously not from AZ) accent. We seem to have really hit it off and though she’s a little dingy and quite vocal with her opinions, I am watching a developing friendship.

In other news, I am currently paying for my outdoor exuberance in our snowy landscape as I valiantly fight off a determined cold. I’ve come to work armed with anything and everything I can think of to battle the stinkin virus; Dayquil (liquid after my last choking incident with a tablet), green tea, chicken bouillon cubes, water, aspirin, lozenges with zinc, Echinacea and Vitamin C, Vitamin C, and Zicam swabs! Though I don’t feel up to snuff, I’m not feeling as bad as I could be so I just might be winning for a change. We won’t even discuss the many leg (and derriere) bruises I’m sporting thanks to the ass over teakettle jolt I received from the sled-pulling incident. ;)

It's an Epidemic!

This morning I stopped by a coworkers office for some small talk and he said 'I dreamed about you last night'.

WHAT!!?!??!

He laughed 'yep, I dreamed about you...'

Me: Like the dream I had the night before about *Derek*? What happened?

Him: No, nothing like that but I dreamed you quit. You just up and quit like effective at noon. Someone called you out of the clear blue sky and offered you a job and you took it... and quit.

Me: Was it a good job?

Him: I dont know... but you took it!

What if this is a premonition? Or, could be job stress... or he thought my dream about *Derek* was hilarious and he'd been thinking about it and so I was on his mind.

Pillow Talk

All day I have been debating with myself over whether I should blog this or not....

Seriously, why do we dream some of the things we dream and why do we put some people in those dreams?!

I woke up this morning feeling very guilty. My alarm went off and I hopped out of bed. I took a little peek at Richard who was sleeping so peacefully and rolled up all nice and warm in the bed. He's so sweet, so loving, such a wonderful husband...

And I spent last night dreaming something...

The details are sketchy, but here's what I remember. I was sleeping over at someones house and I saw myself walk out of the bedroom in my polka dot sleeping pants. They are really cute! White with turqoise dots and a hot pink sash that ties them up. They are really loose and ride low on the hips. Really hot sleeping gear if you ask me! I also had on a white tank that was loose and hung really low in the front (you know where i'm going with that so I wont elaborate). I walked out to greet *Derek* who was also sleeping over. I have no idea what he had on and I have no idea why he was there or where we were, but the important thing was that he was sleeping in my room and we were just laughing and carrying on like it was a slumber party. I remember he kept looking at my um.... shirt area ;) and we talked about them, etc.

In real life, *Derek* works with me! He sits not 20 feet away from me all day long, Monday thru Friday. We get along well, we both have sparkling (and sometimes sick) personalities and can kind of be little smartasses. I have never had thoughts at all except work thoughts! Why did I dream this!!!? In the dream we knew we worked together and we worked here! Good grief! I'm his supervisor... why would we be in a situation like this!?

Am I having work anxieties? Could it have been the 5 different types of wine and hit of rum that I drank earlier in the night coupled with a diet pill I might have tossed down my throat earlier? Was I just super tired and I became delirious in my sleep? I don't see these guys at all after work hours and I typically don't talk to them on weekends unless there is a problem at the office... so why?

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent (or not so innocent)*

Multiple Personality Snowperson

Here are pics of the diminutive snowman I created yesterday. Torso construction turned out to be the easiest part as I suffered a lot of frustration making his edible features stick to his slippery face.

Browns fan with carrot nose and chocolate candy mouth.

Browns fan with chocolate candy mouth and lump of coal nose. The coal made his whole face look dirty giving him a striking resemblance to a disheveled, homeless derelict warming himself next to a makeshift barrel fire.

Straw-hatted cowboy minus the sunglasses. Chocolate eyes, carrot nose and I can't tell if his spindly twig mouth just isn't visible or frankly, fell off.

My feverish efforts will be fleeting and transitory as serious thawing was occurring even as I built him. Nevertheless, practice makes perfect and I certainly hope he won't be my last inspired effort of the season. :)

Slip Slidding Away

The weatherman was a bit off in forecasting this weekend weather blast. As of yesterday we were supposed to start getting snow about 10pm last night (didn't) and by noon today it was going to change to sleet/snow combo (didn't) and then get accumulations of 4-10 inches (haven't yet).

At 11am when we headed out the door to grab breakfast at Jimmy's Egg and do some shopping, it was raining... a nice steady rain. Not downpours... just gentle steady rain. There was sleet on the ground from earlier in the morning. About 4pm-ish we noticed that some snow was starting to fall and the rain had ended. So far, nothing major has accumulated, however it is a watery, slushy mess outside and tonight it's going to be well below freezing which means snotty slick roads again.

Speaking of the watery slushy mess.... today Richard and I headed out to do some shopping for the house. We needed to pick out fabric for window treatments, paint for the bathroom, a wine cabinet, and decor for the fireplace. We spent hours upon hours dashing in and out of stores scoping out our options... and found ourselves in the heart of the city on The Mile of Furniture. It's not really a mile, but close enough. Its an area of the city where there are tons of furniture stores... one right after another.

I was jabbering on the phone to my mom about whether I should hire a seamstress to sew the curtains or should we attempt to do it when I realized that the parking lot we were turning around in.... wasn't letting us out. We were stuck. Richard looked at me... I looked at him... I told mom "gotta go... I think i'm going to have to drive and Richard is going to have to push". It wasnt ice or snow, but we were stuck in deep watery slushy mess. The car wouldn't go forward nor would it go backwards (we probably should have taken the MM cause it will pull thru all that mess... but who woulda thought!)

I tried to go in reverse - it made sense because we'd just pulled in that way and knew we could get out that far and I had no idea what was ahead of me or if I could get through it... but the car would not budge. Richard was about to pop a vein trying to push with everything he had. I have to say he looked so sexy pushing the car in the cold rain and his muscles buldging and me going about 35mph but sitting still, and nestled safely in the warm (and dry) inside... smelling rubber and seeing smoke from the tires and then only picturing $$$ because i'm probably shortening the tire life by about ohhhh..... a year. lol

I tried to go forward, no cigar... I tried reverse again, nothing. Back in drive he pushed me from behind. One inch at a time (really it was about that much movement at a time) we finally got the car out of the parking lot and I pulled onto the street. This is where I gave the 'stay on the cleared streets and don't try to drive through the crap anymore' speech.

We finished our shopping and a few hours later we head home. We pulled down our street at a snails pace because it's still watery slushy too and its really easy to slide around. Richard turned to pull in the driveway and got about half way in when the car just stopped. He gave it more gas and the all too familiar rubber aroma filled the car. Dammit, we're stuck again. He put it in reverse and we couldnt even back down the driveway. We're stuck half way up our driveway! We knew the routine. He got out, I climbed over, threw the car in reverse and he pushed me back into the street. We have to park the little car in the street for now. He's going to have to get a faster running start to get up over the ice and slush to park the car in the driveway.

I can't wait til all this crap is gone.

This was a long post! I don't normally write this much.... !

Snow Time

Happy camper

Patio view


Got pulled on the sled attached to this rope.

Winter Wonderland

It’s been another busy week and I am once again guilty of blog neglect. Hope there isn’t a severe penalty for that. Fifty lashings with a frozen, sleet-encrusted noodle perhaps? ;)

Wednesday found me battling the downstairs vending machine. Those large, blinking rectangular behemoths rarely cooperate with me as they sense my timidity and hesitation. Nevertheless, tasty Nacho Doritos called my name that afternoon and zombielike I descended the stairs to the area where the goodies reside. Rummaging through my change, I inserted the correct amount of nickels and dimes only to have the bag crawl to the very edge of the precipice and stop. Resignedly I once again dug through my purse and repeated the process. Much to my astonishment, both bags chose to obstinately remain with their fellow snacks and refused to budge. Given no choice but to briskly backside butt the machine, I finally released the first one but Bag 2 ignored my invitation and remained hooked in position. Miffed at my audacity, the machine immediately lost power and shut down. Oops! Though the finance office now owes me money, I haven’t mentioned the human vs machine showdown seeing as I’m the guilty party who assaulted the willful contraption. :)

Last Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, we received quite a bit of white stuff covering the ground and it has tenaciously hung in there as we eagerly wait in expectation of the next predicted wet and white round. I wasn’t crazy about the frozen pellets that piled up and resembled snow as neither hefty humans nor weighty vehicles could make a dent in the mixture. It made for treacherous treading and precarious driving. However, I positively relish the thought of plentiful, fluffy flakes. *happy dance* At this point, we are expecting 5 to 7 inches and I have promised myself at least one outdoor recess where snow is used to its best advantage. Most here are complaining but not this transplanted Buckeye. I’m thrilled to pieces and trying very hard not to let my jubilation express itself on my smiling countenance and considering I have a very transparent face, I’m doing a lousy job hiding it. Ker and I will keep you posted on deteriorating conditions in Okieville.

Snowfall Circe

Icecycle Pop

A friend of mine from the eastern part of the state sent me this picture from her hometown. She is one of the lucky ones... they got their power turned back on after hours... most of the town has been without power for days! The ice is breaking power lines, trees, caving in roofs, etc. Although it was the same storm system, they got more ice than we did. Ours was a combo snow/sleet. This weekend its in the forecast to get more snow/sleet and even more intense than this last storm.

Be safe Kristen!

This is Just Slickening!

Another day gone by with very little ice disappearing...
You can see from the pictures that the snow/ice is pretty tough (and slick). With all of us trampling the stuff.... there are very few foot prints to show for it! We've given in and dug out our sleds...

Here are a few of the neighbor kids sliding down our front lawn into the street... across the street... and back up into the neighbors yard. It's that slick.

And it's very cold.

Ice Ice Baby

Ok. I'm sick of the ice.

Today is way worse than yesterday. The highways are clear, but the side roads are total hell. What kind of melted yesterday and sat as water on top of the existing ice/snow, turned into a solid sheet of snotty looking ice and is slicker than snot! It took me 25 minutes to get out of our residential area and get on a major highway to get to work this morning. It normally takes me 5-10 minutes depending on traffic. The maximum speed was about 10mph which absolutely drives me nuts, but there is no way you dare go over that... you'd wind up in the ditch just like the little Pathfinder, Mustang, some sort of little 4-door sedan and truck that I saw.

Rumor has it that we're getting another dump from dear ol Mother Nature this weekend. Hopefully the temperatures will get high enough to melt some of this off!

A Forgotten Miami Story!

Because we are iced in....
Not really, we can get out and about a bit, but it takes so flippin long because you have to drive too slow, so we've been doing some projects around the house that we really intended to do ages ago. Anyways, that's not important. The important part is, Richard was trying to find some pictures on his computer and in the process he came across some pics from our Miami trip that I had completely forgot about and then realized I'd never shared! Shame on me!

One of the nights we ventured down to Naughty (but, oh so fun) beach (which is South Beach to most of us), the adventurous us headed for the more questionable part of the area and stumbled onto a little 'store' that said World Erotic Art Museum. We walked inside, and entered just a little (nasty) entryway with one door to an elevator. Keep in mind this area looks dirty and drug infested and scary and dirty and there isnt proper signage and it's dirty - you get my drift. We hop on the elevator and take the ride up a few floors without having any idea what we are really getting ourselves into. The doors fly open and whhaaalllaaaaah! Nudity everywhere!!! We stepped off the elevator... our jaws draggin the floor. We are stunned.

The little girl waiting the counter greets us 'Welcome to the World Erotic Art Museum. $15 to enter'. I'm like 'WHAT?!?!?' Seriously. They cannot be charging that much! I look at Richard... he looks at me... I said 'well, let's pay her!' haha 'We're going in!'

I'll share a few of the photos here... most are too graphic to post I think!

Here's the famous Penis bed. Photos of it have been passed arond in emails for year, but we saw it here! On the wall was a serious of photographs and the history of the bed: how it was made and by whom, where, why, etc.

This is a chair. In this picture you can't really tell the details, so I followed up with a few closeup shots so you'd see why it was so intriguing. *giggle*

They wouldnt let us sit in it....

Some of the art was so graphic! Like... the picture of Marilyn Monroe in all her glory! I've never seen a picture of her in that position before....

Easy on the Ice, Please

The big winter storm that the weathermen have been talking about all week hit yesterday morning. I went to work earlier than usual to try to avoid the heavy traffic and so I could head home earlier... again to avoid the heavy traffic. When I left (6:30ish in the am) it was a bit drizzley, but nothing major and about 8:30am, we could hear the sleet hitting the skylight by my office. This is what I saw on my front porch when I got home.

We probably should have been staying inside and avoiding the dangerously slick roads, but I had a hankerin'...

This is where I was headed....

To get me one of these. I had to have a fix... and like the mailman... no rain, sleet or snow will stop me.

Today, we're supposed to get round two of the stuff and I guess tomorrow is round three (which is supposedly going to be worse than round 1).

Sleet City

Though we are not receiving the cruel ice that was predicted, a lovely wintery mix has been falling off and on since yesterday morning and should continue through Sunday. Most of us have hankered down in our cozy nooks as nature displays its vibrant white fireworks. We watch fascinated from our warms enclaves debating whether to brave January’s arsenal or just sit back and enjoy being reclusive hermits.

The Topfive.com’s 20 Bad Suspense Novel Metaphors or Similes

20> Worn down at the edges like a Times Square hooker, the 

    caretaker's last tooth lay on the floor like a yellow Chiclet.

19> When she stepped out of her dress, she had the body of a

    90-year-old nun, if the nun looked as young, attractive,

    and sexy as the dame standing in front of me.

18> The situation had become topsy-turvy -- like Christmas in the

    summer, if you're in Australia.

17> The information imbedded on the stolen computer chip was like

    an explosive so explosive it could explode, creating a massive

    explosion.

16> As I watched through the slatted shades, her bosom bounce like

    her suspicious husband's first check.

15> The killer was a misplaced comma in the jaunty, happy sentence

    that made up the party crowd.

14> His face looked like an ice sculpture.  Not one of those 

    pretty ones in the middle of a cruise ship buffet, but the 

    kind they do in a contest with a chainsaw -- and it had been 

    out in the heat too long.

13> Like any family, this house had its secrets, secrets it grimly

    refused to reveal, and would continue to refuse to reveal even

    if it could speak, which unlike a family, or at least most 

    members of most families, it couldn't. 

12> The air of danger perversely made Nina's nipples harden, 

    like that Magic Shell stuff on a bowl of ice cream.

11> From his vantage point in the balcony, the would-be assassin

    looked down on the debating candidates like a webhead looking 

    down on an AOL user.

10> The sudden darkness made the Countess tense, like Bobby Jerome

    that time with the bicycle in 7th grade, remember?

 9> There was something funny about the kidnapping crime scene

    that Special Agent Frievald couldn't quite place, and the

    thought stuck with him throughout the rest of the day,

    like those tiny little bits of the circumferent skin from

    the bologna slices on a foot-long Subway Cold Cut Trio that 

    get stuck in between the last two molars on the upper left, 

    on the tongue side where you can't possibly reach them with 

    a toothpick, your fingernails, or even a systematically 

    straightened paper clip, they just sit there and make every-

    thing you eat at your next meal taste vaguely like vinegar 

    and mayonnaise, and then somehow -- quietly but miraculously

    -- they disappear by themselves in the middle of the night 

    while you're asleep, just like the visiting Countess appeared

    to have done.

 8> Her parting words lingered heavily inside me like last night's

    Taco Bell.

 7> The bullet burned Gilmore's gut like the first piss after a

    long night in a Singapore brothel.

 6> A single drop of sweat slowly inched down Chad's brow -- 

    a tiny, glistening Times Square New Year's Eve Ball of

    desperation.

 5> His .38 barked fire, like John Goodman's butt after a chili

    cookoff.

 4> Her blazing eyes dance like Astaire and Rogers, but since they

    were crossed, it was an ocular tango, and my eyes had to 

    foxtrot just to maintain eye contact.

 3> She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled, and

    the gun she was holding gave me a bad case of barrel envy.

 2> The neon sign reflected off his gun, like the moonlight

    reflects off my brother-in-law's bald head after a night

    of beer drinking and cow-tipping.

 1> Unable to contain his rage, he burst like a pimple of emotion,

    the pus of his fury streaking the mirror of calm in the

    bathroom of his life.

Subway... Eat Fresh!

maybe... if they will keep the restaurant open!

Tonite, C and I headed right around the corner to grab a sandwich... walked in the door and immediately this chubby girl (green shirt) said 'we're closed'. No Hello, i'm sorry but we're closed, kiss my foot or nothing! I stopped dead in my tracks and repeated 'you're closed!?' YES! she says. C and I headed back out the front door... I turned and double checked the hours because I knew it couldn't be that late. I just left the gym and it was roughly 8pm. Closing time was clearly posted as 10pm! I noticed the Open sign was off.

We hopped in the MM and sat there discussing our next move. It made no sense that they were closed. There was a guy inside paying for his purchase and it's 8:15pm. A little car zips up next to me and a guy hops out and runs inside. I said 'watch this!' to C and we sat there... watching and waiting. He was all spiffied up like maybe he was the owner or maybe he was an insurance agent. lol Sure as shiat! He walked up and ordered!

Now, my blood is boiling. Chubby girl in green shirt walks over and turns the Open sign on! I turned off the MM and told C 'get out! we're going in!' I waltzed in the front door and very clearly and loudly said 'SO! Are you open or are you closed!?' Chubby girl in red shirt said 'we're open... blah blah blah blah' some explanation about how they had an emergency and she wasnt supposed to be there because she's injured but she's working and someone didnt show or some crap. Basically they were having employee problems and they were just going to close the place down and go home.

C ordered his sandwich and told red shirt girl what he wanted... turkey, cheese, lettuce and tomato... Green shirt girl (very snippy I might add) said 'we don't have any tomatoes'. Red shirt girl (who is somewhat trying to smooth things over) silently went to the back of the store and brought out a whole hand full of sliced tomatoes! I just glared and chubby, irritating, green shirt girl. We paid for our sandwich and two drinks (actually, she gave us one of the drinks free because of the trouble we went through) and headed out the front door. As I jumped in the MM, chubby green shirt girl walked over to the Open sign and turned it off again.!!!

That is the third time I've been in that Subway... and each time something catastrophic has happened with the employees. Its a shame too.. its a brand new Subway, great location, very clean... awesome potential! They are ruining it....

Nothing Major

After a chaotic morning and grabbing lunch with my sweetie in Bricktown, I'm sitting here in my unusually quiet office just listening to the wild Oklahoma wind rip and roar. I have a skylite just right outside my office door, and we are sure that this time it's going to be lifted and taken for a ride. The wind is so strong today... but other than that, its nice outside! The temperature is about 70 degrees and if the wind would die down to nothing (or just a gentle breeze) it would be a perfect day to crawl into a bikini and catch a few rays of sunshine on the back deck.

A complete 180 from what it's supposed to be like late tomorrow. Our weather guy (you choose... whichever one you watch) has been warning us of rain, then ice, then snow beginning late tomorrow afternoon. The temperature will be in the 20's by 6pm tomorrow!!! So... guess that means I'll be house bound (somewhat) this weekend. Besides a basketball game, I guess I'll work on some insurance stuff, maybe work on taxes, watch a movie, clean on my house and hopefully get some time to update the links on our site. I think some of our little blogger friends have just given up and taken a permanent vacation!

Sucky Cingular

Last week when five workdays were compressed into three and everything was building up to the grand climax we here at Chaos College affectionately refer to as ‘hell week,’ I had the added privilege of once again tangling with Ma Bell. Apparently they suffered acute memory loss of our explicit conversation a mere three weeks ago in reference to the downgrading of my cell phone plan. I had overkill in terms of minutes and the bill was killing me. Lo and behold, I checked my account online last week to find a considerably higher charge than expected leaving me a whopping DOLLAR in my checking account when that deduction was subtracted. What generosity! Thanks Cingular!!! Once again I stated my case in clearly understood terms with minimal use of syllables and received the typical runaround for my efforts. Not one to be easily dissuaded, I stubbornly clenched the receiver tightly in my determined hand prepared to wait on hold for as long as it took. It was only when I finally got testy and used the “C” word (cancellation silly, not that other word!) that they “found my notes” from our previous tête-à-tête and agreed to the cheaper plan. They promptly changed the fees to reflect the lesser amount owed and switched me to the plan I wanted thus soothing this irate customer. In talking to others, I’ve gathered Cingular is notorious for making the lowly consumer fight for their rights and this certainly held true in my case. I suggest they not renege on promised changes to this loyal customer ever again or walking papers will be served. *arches brow*

9 Months

Richard,

Today marks our 9 month anniversary! I've always been told that the first year or two is the hardest... and it's been nothing of the sort! We've laughed and had the best time whether it be alone, with family or with friends... even with total strangers! You are a fantastic husband, an outstanding dad, and my very best friend. I thank God that the events in our lives and the highways that we chose to venture down, brought us together. I wouldn't trade any of it!

I love you...

Utter Chaos

Well, to kick start our new semester which began yesterday, we have one of our dwindling IT people missing after having his jaw broke in a bar fight this past weekend. Yes, dear GFR managed to anger some guy in a local dive resulting in a sucker punch to the face and an unplanned emergency trip to the hospital. He had surgery yesterday and won’t be gracing our hallowed halls this week and possibly not the next. I left work yesterday with a tremendous headache and though I know the drill for the first insane week, I am already having to psyche myself up just to arrive here. To add to the fun, our think tank, (aka quiet place to get away from it all and hide), er, upstairs ladies potty is out of order and we are forced to make the extended trek downstairs to use the general public bathroom. I found myself sharing cramped space with Psycho and Water Buffalo this morning. Yikes! Also, we went to portals on our website and the students have no clue that the hyperlink to get their demographics is now at the bottom of the page as opposed to the top. This has created an untenable situation and generated frantic calls and mass confusion. *sigh* I would love to give you the longer version of my day but the natives are restless and work and everyone else under god’s freekin' creation is calling me. Ciao for now. :)

For Better or For Worse

I try to drag my new camera around with me everywhere I go (forgot it at TGIFridays when I needed it to get a picture of the chocolate chip in the ice) and so I took it to the wedding on Saturday to get some snapshots. I grabbed extra batteries 'just in case' and as my luck would have it, I got to the wedding and before the dang thing even started my batteries started flashing 'low'... and i went to grab for my new ones and realized i'd grabbed the old ones! So, I spent the entire wedding, rationing precious battery time. I snapped pics as fast as i could and shut the camera off. I got a ton of good shots though... i'll share a few here.

Richard finally dressed and ready to go... I fixed his crooked bow tie after the picture ;)

The wedding party. Her dress was white with black stitching and the accent color was red. The entire thing had a 20's feel to it.

One of the kiddos took this picture of us at the reception.

When the bride and groom leave for their honeymoon, most (or they used to) have rice thrown, Dale and Judy had bottles of bubbles. The only thing is, by the time they got ready to leave... everyone else had already left. It was Richard and I and about 4 other kids (and a couple of adults stuck inside) that got about 100 bottles of bubbles to play with. The big kids had the most fun.... as you can see. :)

This kiddo was chasing me and trying to blow bubbles on me. I stopped and turned... armed only with my new camera... and started snapping pictures. This one turned out really well I think!

An Extra Shot of....

Last night P and I met my sister at the mall to hit some of the after Christmas sales and to celebrate our purchases we decided to throw back a margarita (and a martini) at TGIFridays. P sat quietly coloring a picture while we laughed and whooped it up... round two of the drinks came out and Sis gasped for air and said 'what is this!' - while digging around in her drink with her straw. I was thinking 'it's a lime, you doh-doh head!' lol

She reached in (with sanitized fingers i'm sure) and pulled out an ice cube and said to our little waitress (who was as cute as a button and had the most wonderful sparkling personality flare) 'that is a chocolate chip in my ice cube!'

We busted up laughing. The little waitress girl laughed, but with shock. Sis handed her the cube and we all inspected it. I told her it was a rat turd... she insisted it was a chocolate chip. This all sparked the interest of P... who now wanted to keep the ice cube because, you know... that is 'cool'. She offered to bring P a whole bowl full of chocolate chips (probably trying to smooth all this over but we were laughing at it... was no big deal). She brought P a glass full of chocolate chips and they were frozen. So apparently they keep chips (for dessert) in the freezer and somehow one little lone chip got loose... it was the funniest thing!

I wish I'd had my camera...

Nothing in Particular other than TGIF

I'm so happy it's Friday!!! Although this week was a short week, it's been long and hard. Alot of projects happening at work and with people off on vacation, having babies, sick, etc... trying to help with their work and keep up on my own is tiresome.

We don't have much on tap for the weekend. We have a wedding in Tulsa tomorrow and massages scheduled for sunday - gosh I love those! I actually had purchased a massage for Richard, but he wants me to tag along so he scheduled me one too! C is going for foot reflexology.... we'll see how that goes. He's pretty excited about that too. He complains that his feet hurt... probably all that soccer ball kicking and basketball playing that he does!

I think i'm going to spend this afternoon googling Europe. We are itching for another trip (it's been a whole few months since Florida and a whole year since the cruise!) and i've asked my sis and a friend of hers if they'd like to go, so I guess I better get some info together. C and P have been asking about deep sea fishing... another cruise... anything. I think they are really beginning to like travel. I love it!

Have a wonderful weekend!!!