BFF Bites!

Many of us loathe this overused term and with good reason. It is an exceptional few that experience the joys of keeping a long-running friendship alive and well as the road is often lined with perils and pitfalls. Thanks to imperfect human nature, cracks and fissures eventually develop between ourselves and those with whom we share considerable time and emotional closeness resulting in a shifting of balance. Unfortunately, this alteration rarely happens at precisely the same time for those involved and someone (read: you) gets badly hurt. My three personal pitf.., I mean ‘special friendships’ of yesteryear were with Annie, Cathy and my sister-in-law, Susan and started at the auspicious age of 4.

Annie was also 4 and lived on my street and though specifics are lost to misty memory, I do recall many happy hours playing with dolls together in my back yard. At any rate, we became best friends. *cue sappy music* Her BFF status came to a screeching halt when her family decided to locate elsewhere. (It’s darn near impossible for 4-year-olds to stay in touch). I still remember the day she brought by her autograph book for me to put pen (or crayon) to paper and express my unending devotion when I happened to glance at adjacent pages. Imagine my shock and dismay when I spied the moniker under the heading “Best Friend.” Yes, dear gang, it was not your humble servant but rather the devious little minx, Joanne, who succeeded in stealing my closest companion AND my starter boyfriend!!! My little heart was ripped to shreds in my undeveloped chest after discovering this callous betrayal. Years passed and though my locale changed, my luck in the "bestest buds" department remained dismally consistent.

In my early 20s I met cute, vibrant, sassy, fun-loving Cathy through her sister-in-law and we hit it off big-time. All went swimmingly for several years until she met Mr Wonderful who arbitrarily decided I lacked the lofty scruples and high caliber moral fiber needed to continue a female alliance with his newly wedded bride. As I was now deemed an unsuitable companion, she swiftly cut all ties and I was left to drift away in the passing current as they waved in unison from the marital shore. The happy, attached-at-the-hip couple eventually moved away and though I still occasionally see her when she visits relatives, we limit our chats to brief, meaningless pleasantries.

Time passed and with amnesia clouding my spotty memory, I tripped headfirst into the BFF lair of TBC’s younger sister, Susan. We whiled away many pleasant hours at the swimming beach, downing brews, soaking up the sun and showing off our svelte bodies. Invariably, we took turns one-upping each other in the saucy retort department. She also moved away (I’m detecting a pattern here) and six months later married a guy in her apt. complex. This time the addition of a spouse had few repercussions as our congenial friendship continued unabated albeit distantly. Being related didn’t hurt either. Several times I drove up to visit and we laughed, relaxed and caught up on news. Our unforeseen parting of ways occurred in a most unusual manner. One weekend she was down visiting and TBC and I included her in a trip to see my sis who was then living in a neighboring town. I offhandedly made a remark about an article I had read in a popular magazine when she haughtily and disdainfully informed all present that she never read that offensive publication. Excuse me? This 180 degree turn must have been of recent origin as she was far from a paragon of virtue and was well acquainted with said journal. Icy silence engulfed the return trip home. Apparently this minor disagreement was just the tip of the proverbial iceberg as a massive cataclysmic upheaval in relations resulted. She returned home to MIL and let volley a barrage of invectives cataloging endless real and imagined grievances against yours truly which then snowballed into an even larger firestorm of epic proportions with MIL! The excessive fallout was irreparable with both and though things were partially patched up by the time MIL died, things never returned to the easygoing camaraderie we once enjoyed. Long divorced from her spouse, Susan still resides in her adopted city, rarely darkening Okieland’s door. The few times we have spoken in the intervening years, the tenacious chip remains solidly affixed to her stubborn shoulder. And it all started over a silly magazine that even I quit reading eons ago. Amazing. Needless to say, I have staunchly sworn off BFFs for good and with understandable reason. I do hope your experiences have proved far less toxic than mine but promise me you will periodically check your vulnerable back for those telltale stab marks because truly, being forewarned is forearmed, right? Live and learn.

Let There Be Light!

I'm getting new kitchen lights today! The electrician (and his little helper guy) is here putting in 6 new lights - so I can finally see over the sink and around all the counters! yipppeeee!

They make me nervous though... I sat and listened to them "get on the same page" as to where the lights go and how they were going to "go about this". I was so praying they wouldnt accidentally cut a hole where they really didn't want one. So far, so good. I went in to supervise once... and they told me they had it under control. Translation: go back to what you were doing lady. hahaha

I hear some little clanks and clatters - what sounds like lights going in. I'm scared to check.

Hostile Work Environment

The morning got off to a bumpy start with a power outage shortly after arriving at work. For approximately one hour the city worked through their ‘energy issues’ as we worker drones sat tight and pondered our next move. Snacks came out of hiding as in the spirit of camaraderie we shared our goodies. "Sunshine” and I decided to take advantage of our lack of productivity by enjoying a short, brisk walk outside. After the power blipped back on and the computers and phones revived, we were good to go until lunchtime. Just now as I sat hunched over my desk feverishly worki.., er, um, gazing off into space quietly contemplating the long summer afternoon, I heard horrendous, headache-inducing drilling just outside my door. Quickly closed to prevent further acute hearing loss I now ponder the efficacy of throwing ear protectors into my overstuffed tote tomorrow. My vacation days aren’t going to arrive soon enough. :)

Birthday Bash

Saturday, Richard and I headed north to my hometown where we were meeting up with a group of our friends to have a little suprise birthday dinner for another one of our friends. Laura had called me on Monday of last week and wanted to get everyone together in the city so we could all go out... but Kelly and I had already made plans to surprise Laura this weekend with everyone getting together for her birthday. So.... I had to come up with some story as to why it wouldnt be good for us to get together last week... and "maybe this next week will work better"... so that her birthday surprise would be so much more meaningful and fun! it all worked out.

Richard and I got to the pub early with her balloon bouquet and Princess party hat.
I tried the hat on while we waited....

Laura was in complete shock when she walked in. Kelly told her they were going out to eat... but just those two. Laura was sooo excited! I think you can tell by the picture.

Everyone eating, drinking and swapping crazy stories!

One happy threesome. Richard, me and Brad.

We had the waitress take a group picture before we left. We dont get together as much anymore... so we wanted this keepsake!

I Finally Made it to Friday

Yikes. Kelly Clarkson cancelled her summer tour! NBD... I'm not a fan.

Paris is still in jail.

And... Zoobilation is still scheduled to take place despite the torrential downpours we are experiencing here in our blessed state. I kid you not. I looked out my back door this morning and we had raging rapids. Not puddles of water... but raging rapids that had potential to sweep you off into the neighbors yard if you were to go out and stand in them. We've gotten 4+ inches overnight (or in the past 24 hours or so). It's crazy!

There was a 6 car accident on the Raceway that I take to work each morning. It was pretty much cleaned up by the time I got to the location, but on the radio they announced another accident had just happened on the same highway, but about 1/2 mile behind me. I made it without incident. Thank God. Seriously. I think he knows he needs to keep his little hand on Kerry because she'd probably choke the crap outta someone if they were to bang into her! I don't want to go through all that again. It's forecast to rain for another week...

This weekend is Father's Day and it's jammed packed for us. The Electrician is coming to do a few things at our house, we are having dinner (actually its a surprise for one of our friends) with a big group of our friends from my home town, and we get to spend part of the time with my dad! I'm excited to get to see everyone!!!

At lunch i'm going to go buy us a new boat and instead of driving to the northern part of the state.... we'll just boat there. It will probably save on gas and we can take turns skiing!

Seven Up

As a pleasant diversion to finish off my week, I’m going to indulge our dear Cruiser Mel and reveal seven facts/habits about me on this thrilling Thursday. The rules, as etched in obsidian are as follows:

Here's the deal: Each player starts with 7 random facts / habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write their own blog with their 7 things as well as these rules. You need to tag 7 others and list their names on your blog. Remember to leave a comment for them letting them know they have been tagged and to read your blog. So without further ado, here goes:

1. Men suck. Yes, that’s an unfair blanket assessment of the opposite sex but lately males (yeah, plural) have taken vicarious pleasure in letting me down. I know the reason I’m feeling this way is because of the little phone tête-à-tête exchanged between TBC and I yesterday afternoon. I was engrossed in finding a street address for a new school we added to our ITV roster and I needed to process a FedEx shipment before the courier arrived. Time was of the essence. Out of the blue TBC calls my cell to question whether I had faxed an important document the day before. Mind you, I have to scurry out of my office and race down the hall toward the lounge to participate in this two-way conversation as cell reception is abysmal. My mind went completely blank and I blurted out I must have forgotten to fax it and was unsure where the document was which prompted an unappreciated, venom-filled tirade. Apparently when I fail to do his bidding, its fine and dandy to chew my ass out though I never berate his shortcomings in the brain freeze department. Taken aback and not wishing to engage in a nasty, mud-slinging shoutfest, I offered to call him back when I had further clarification. It was on the trek back to my office that it hit me I had indeed faxed it first thing yesterday morning as requested. Now I’m furious. I returned his call from the office phone and hissed that I had carried out this order and speaking to me in this harsh manner was NOT acceptable. He informed me he darn well could and would and I once again strongly disagreed. I was then informed he “wasn’t putting up with my shit” and I hung up on him. I fumed for awhile longer, concocting schemes of sweet, sweet revenge before sanity prevailed. We attempted to discuss our respective points of view upon my return home but once again he became extremely agitated and I walked away. Yeah, I love being married to an asshole.
2. Kerbear and I are coming up on our two year (July 6) Blogaversary. Last year’s celebration didn’t turn out quite the way we expected as on that very day, our preshus (and easy) domain name was snatched out from under us thanks to some convoluted and murky dealings. Understandably, our happiness and joy were considerably subdued but this year we anticipate a true no-holds-barred, celebratory blowout. Alrighty then!
3. This past weekend, “K” once again showed me her hilarious depiction of my ass-over-teakettle spill during last years memorable Oktoberfest when my tractionless flipflops sent me comically hurtling to the ground as simultaneously my newly-purchased, sugary funnel cake shot skyward before ignominiously joining me in kissing terra firma. Much like the first viewing, I laughed so hard I cried. I must have been a sight to behold but I still cringe in remembered mortification every time I replay it in my head as it is my No. 1 most embarrassing moment in recent history. Though months away, I’m already planning to hide behind a drab, non-descript outfit, wraparound ebony shades, and possibly a wig disguise before attending this years event.
4. I’m ready for my three-day weekend to start.
5. I miss Kerry and all the times I could just pop into her office to laugh, chat, and gossip. We did it every day and though I like our current ragtag little troop, it’s nowhere close to the sparkle and pop that came with having her as a captivating coworker.
6. I part my hair on the left side.
7. I’m left-handed and proud of it. :)

I’m tagging Traveling Chica, Burg, Wine Sipper, Sizzle, Sparkles, Eileen, and Weather.

Have a fabulous Friday, darlings!
Circe

Drowned Rat

It’s raining yet again and indeed the heavens poured forth during the drive time to work leaving me surveying my personal damage. There’s nothing quite like juggling a massive tote, though it does at least have a zipper, a cutesy purse (no zipper or snap), and an ungainly travel umbrella as I clop my way to the building. Of course nothing spurs on a quick burst of speed like an ominous clap of thunder smack dab in the middle of my already hurried trek. However, it’s not the external water that did the damage though I am sporting a large, lovely wet spot on the side of my pants. It seems my water bottle lid came loose and decided to shower the contents of the tote with an unexpected bath. I detected muffled sobs coming from the bowels of the water-logged contraption and pulled out my drenched lighthouse-façaded planner looking bedraggled, battered, and abused. Most of the items can take any weather-related incidents but obviously not the paper-laden planner or the notes I had tossed in just this morning with insurance info and numbers. I would pick today of all days to give them a ring thus hoping to employ my best powers of persuasion in changing their rigid stance on a particular bone of contention. Fortunately I can easily find those digits again and recall my plan of strategy for presenting my side, but I think I may wait for a more opportune time...

I don’t know how many of you read "Dear Prudence" or "Ask Miss Manners" but the problems are usually darn entertaining and it's fun to hear how these experts present their solutions. One I recently read was so hilarious that I felt the need to share it:

Dear Prudence,
I am one of five women at my office. Roughly three out of five mornings, the one man we work with spends the first 10 to 15 minutes of the day in the (single, shared) bathroom. We work in a small office where we need to be available to any current or potential clients who call or drop in, so it does affect the rest of us if someone disappears mysteriously since, obviously, he doesn't announce that he's heading off to the can. I feel that if something is happening on such a regular basis, he should be able to take care of it at home before he comes to work. (He has only a half-hour commute.) My two-part question for you is: Is it worth saying something to him about it? And, presumably this would be a job for our manager, but what would be the best way of going about this? She usually hasn't arrived by that point in the morning, and so is not aware of this tendency.

Waiting for the Can

Dear Waiting,
How would you approach this with your manager? "Sue, I believe Dick starts his day with a bowel movement at the office. Could you please tell him to coordinate his bodily functions better so we don't have to cover for him for the first 10 minutes of work?" Maybe you could talk to Dick and tell him that if he's going to be doing something beside No. 1, he should announce it so the rest of you can plan your morning accordingly. Or maybe Dick is in the bathroom checking his insulin, maybe he has irritable bowel syndrome, or maybe it's hard to imagine that there is anything more inappropriate for you to say anything to anyone about.

Prudie

Another Night of Excitement

Will this continue for months to come? These dreams are crazy!
The latest in Kerry Dreamland….

Let me start off by saying I have great teeth.

I dreamed that I had a bad tooth which the dentist could not save and his course of action to save my great smile was to pull the tooth – with a few others – and give me a partial denture. I lay in the chair while he does the work, and it just so happens that he has my partial laying right there, fitted and ready for me.

He popped that sucker in my mouth and it filled the gaps where no one would have ever known they weren’t my real teeth except for the fact that they looked like white chiclet gum and were about 3X thicker than real teeth which pushed my upper lip out and made me look like I had Bucky Beaver Teeth!

I screamed hysterically and begged him to file them down thinner. He said “they look fine and you will get used to them. The speech problem will go away when you get used to them”. There I sat looking at my Bucky Beaver. They changed the way I looked. They made my cheeks suck in because my lip was stretched so far trying to cover them. I looked like Rosanna Arquette. Worse.

I pulled them out to see if I could get away with not wearing the partial… but it was a no-go because then I had gaps and it was trailer trash looking. I had to wear the Bucky Beaver look.

The dream ended at 2:16am… and I’ve been up ever since

Midsummer Nights Dream

I had a dream last night that I had this baby.... at home! Those are not my intentions... nor are they Richards. However for some reason I was in labor and didn't know it. I was standing up and Richard was taking pictures of my big ol baby gut when all of a sudden the baby just came shooting out! Hubby caught it like he was catching a 50 yard pass!

It was a boy!

Not one little pain either.

If you dream that you are on your way to the hospital to have a baby, then it signifies your issues of dependency and your desire to be completely care for. Perhaps you are trying to get out of some responsibility. If you are pregnant, then a more direct interpretation may simply mean that you are experiencing some anxieties of making it to the hospital when the time comes.

To dream that you are laboring, suggests that you have goal that will take a lot of hard work to accomplish.

If you are really pregnant and having this dream, then it represents your anxieties about the pregnancy. Women in the first trimester of their pregnancy tend to dream of tiny creatures, fuzzy animals, flowers, fruit and water. In the second trimester, dreams will reflect your anxieties about being a good mother

Paris

Paris Hilton sure has a way of making a fiasco out of everything!

She got a DUI, kept driving, got sentenced to 45 days, whined and got 23 days, checked into her cell, whined (or slept with someone or paid someone), got sent home after 3 days, caused holy hell between those important people in charge now they are fighting about it all, might get sent back to the bars. Good grief! Just do the time already and shut up about it!

Anyone else would have gotten months upon months!!!

More Baby News

Last week while I was in Las Vegas, one of the techs had called in sick most of the week and Monday morning he called me and said he was staying home yet one more day. He sounded congested and apparently had been battling strep. I turned in his time for him, and HR contacted me to inquire as to his status and to make sure we didn't need to start working on other arrangements (short term disability vs. personal time off). Tuesday morning I got an email from him that said he wouldnt be in yet again.. he'd been to the emergency room the night before and was going to the hospital to meet a radiologist.

Our thoughts ran wild.... we had him diagnosed with all sorts of crazy things. Primarily blisters *giggle*. We're mean (fun) like that.

Today... he made it! So, I asked him how his sickness is going, how he feels, how the hospital thing turned out.

He said Monday he felt fine, but decided to go ahead and stay home and had full intentions of coming to work on Tuesday. However, his girlfriend woke him up about midnight... deathly ill and requesting to go to the ER. He sat in the ER with her til about 2:30am waiting while they took her pee and blood and poked and prodded. Then, after all that, the doctor came in and said Congratulations! Our tech asked 'what for!?' You're pregnant!

Yep.... The Ladies Man is going to have a baby. The last thing any of us ever expected... the last thing he ever expected too!

I laughed when he told me. He laughed... all the techs laughed. He'd threatened before to get someone pregnant so he could take off work for this and that with his kid like the rest of us do.... but we didnt think he really meant it! hahahaha

Anorexic Annie

As I was driving down the street a while ago thinking about hitting the gym tonite and what body parts we're going to work on (back and bicep night), it dawned on me that I haven't seen Annie (Anorexic chick)in quite some time.

The last time she was at the gym (I blogged it), she was obviously preggers and waddling... but she hasnt been back since. Now is the time she needs to be in the gym. Exercise does that baby good. I wonder if she'll come back!? Not that I miss her.... but i'm just curious as to whats up with that stomach!

Cruisin '07

Last Friday evening was our annual cruisefest where classic cars slowly glide up and down the road to the oohs and ahs of the appreciative crowd. Caught between two weather systems, it started with brief sprinkles and an occasion finger of lightning snaking across the sky followed by an earthshaking BOOM, provoking a very real concern of possible ringside seat electrocution, a much needed reprieve, and finally the waterlogged heavens opening up and drenching the dwindling masses right before the final hour. This pic is of two guys (love the white, floppy hat) parading around together on a motorcycle much to the merriment of the throng. They happened to be coworkers of sis who lost a bet to another company and were coerced into flaunting their feminine side. The one on the back blew sis a kiss and motioned for her to ‘call him’. LOL

I have totally blown it this week in terms of hopping on my fav treadmill at noon and I’m just chock full of excuses. Yesterday I was ‘too dressed up,’ today my allergies are kicking my butt, tomorrow I have an errand to run with “S”, and I’m taking a personal business day Thursday. All I can say is I’d better fit some walk time into the equation before the week is out.

In Your Face

Well gang, after much thoughtful deliberation, I finally decided to become an esteemed member of Facebook. At least it doesn’t display blinkyshit and that’s a huge point in its favor. At any rate, I would love to see your bright, shiny faces in my 'friend' column so please feel free to add Circe Chardonnay. (Unaware I was named after my favorite white wine?) ;)

Sad News from The Onion:

MySpace Outage Leaves Millions Friendless

BEVERLY HILLS, CA—An estimated 150 million people continued to be without social lives Tuesday as a massive system failure at MySpace.com entered its third day. "The problem is taking longer than we anticipated, but rest assured we're working around the clock to get MySpace back online," said David Gundy, a spokesman for the social networking site. "We're hoping to have friendship restored to our users as soon as possible." The outage, which occurred late Saturday night, is believed to be the result of a complicated wallpaper upload for the page of a former VH1 I Love New York contestant, which triggered a chain reaction of web browser crashes and server shutdowns. Although MySpace's emergency-response team has so far been unable to reconnect any of the millions currently stranded without access to online companionship, Gundy said he remains hopeful that no profiles have been lost…A handful of relief organizations have begun to offer some assistance to MySpace refugees. The American Red Cross is currently setting up a network of approximately 60 smaller-sized "fill-in" sites, where lonely MySpace users can post abbreviated profiles and receive instant messages from aid workers in half-hour increments. But because it's only intended as a temporary stopgap, user options are austere: MySpace members cannot list hobbies and interests, upload MP3s, or link to favorite YouTube clips, making friendship compatibility and popularity nearly impossible to predetermine. On Monday, MySpace co-creator Tom Anderson issued an apologetic press release on the website of MySpace's parent company, News Corporation. "So I know alot [sic] of you couldn't check out your profiles and I just want to say sorry for all the lameness on our end," Anderson wrote. "Rock on." :)

BD girl,
circe

Las Vegas Fun

I could put out a million pictures of this trip, but I had to narrow it down to a few and I dont think they are in any particular order (order of occurence). I also don't have any from Deb or Tiff yet... and I know they got some good ones!

Anyways, we had a great time! We walked a million miles in the blazing heat, took Richard (against his will) to see Thunder from Down Under (a male strip show) and to offset that, I took him to see Fantasy (a topless female show). We also scored tickets to the Knights of the Roundtable show at the Excalibur. I say 'scored'... Richard and I had to go tour a new casino and listen to their timeshare BS to get 4 tickets for $50. A small price to pay considering we would have spent about $240 for the tickets if we'd purchased them. We had our 'NO' turned on though, so we did our 2 hour tour, said 'No' about 20 times and finally got our tickets. As an extra special little parting gift, we also got a two night/3day cruise in the Bahamas.

Thunder From Down Under was awesome!!! I've never screamed so much in my life!!! We got seats right up front and in the middle.. perfect for viewing all the nights activities ;) We saw 4 other men in the room of women, one of which was gay. One of them came up to Richard and thanked him for coming and being supportive. That guy was forced into going too... his wife wanted to go. hahaha After the opening song/dance, Richard leaned over to me and said 'i'll be at the bar... have a good time'. HAHAHA I never saw him again until the show was over. I was hugged and kissed by a hot, sweaty, tan, buff, long haired, tight butted Aussie and Deb got to do numerous butt grabs, swats, spankings, etc. She got the butt all night long! lol They did a Fake Orgasm Competition where 3 girls from the audience went onstage to do their best fake O.... the winner was a seasoned Canadian. She used the MC as a prop... wrapped her legs around him and went to town! You'd think they really were, um... having relations. haha He 'enjoyed' being used. ;)

Oh yeah, Fantasy was good. Boobs all over the place. :) I'm sure Richard could elaborate even more. hahaha He liked the red head who kept looking at him... she was a cutie. There is a girl in the show that was a student at Chaos College when I worked there. She has new boobage for sure. I could rattle on and on about the trip... but here are a few pictures.

Me (14 weeks preggers btw), Deb and Tiff messing around at MGM.


Best Friends getting to hit the town


All 4 of us at the Knights show


Us in downtown Las Vegas on Freemont Street


Freemont Street view


While we were downtown, the same night we saw Thunder from Down Under, we bumped into the Orgasm Queen. I stopped her and told her congrats... she wanted to do pics with her fans. haha


Richard got mounted just like she did the MC in the show. I think he liked it.


Rich getting a little taste of Treasure Island.


The Las Vegas strip at night.


Our last night in Vegas we enjoyed drinks before we saw Fantasy. I love this man...

Vegas Is Hot

Our last day in Vegas we all decided to hit our pool at the Casino instead of running wild all over town. I fell asleep on my stomach and someone failed to wake me, or at least move the tassles on my bikini top... so now I have this funky tan line.


I also have very burned tata's!!!


Vegas was SO fun!!! Pics will follow later....

but just so ya know... it's flipping HOT there! It was 101 temp... felt like 151!!!

Strom Clods

If you’ve forgotten, that mangled expression was taken from the Married with Children episode where Kelly Bundy, with her typical aplomb, wit, and spelling finesse, was hired as a weather gal on a Chicago TV station. Here I was feeling all peppy and cheerful as it’s finally payday, our workweek “Friday,” and the shining sun portends a lovely, (dry) warm day in Okieland—the perfect triad of happiness. However, I prematurely peeked at the 10-day forecast for our area only to discover the dreaded “strong storms” predicted for tomorrow. And we’re talking 80% chance here too. Yikes! I was going to mow the back forty, do an hour walk outside thus finally breaking in my new sneaks, and run a billion errands but I detest nervously darting among gallons of water, buckets of hail, and howling, gusty winds worthy of carrying off Mary Poppins. I haven’t spied the dreaded “T” word yet, but it is spring and that always remains a possibility around these parts. I may need to rethink my original plans for tomorrow. Supposedly this soggy mess arrives soon after midnight tonight and continues ALL frickin day. Lovely. Fortunately I planned to cross a few establishments off my list at noon today when I skip working out and rather take care of business. However, sis, the guys and I have an eagerly-anticipated, prescheduled outdoor function we hope to attend tomorrow evening and time will tell if our plans come to fruition or are hopelessly dashed to bits.

Your humble Ms Circe is a child of June and in keeping with that summertime theme and knowing I probably won’t get to post tomorrow, the official start of my most favorite month, I leave you with these fitting lyrics:

Long time no see
Short time for you and me
We’re on the road
Like you knew we would

There’s a place a Gemini dream
There’s no escaping from the love we have seen
So come with me, turn night to day
You gonna wake up
You know you gonna wake up in a Gemini dream

Living it
Believing it
Wanting it
Make it work out
Make it work
Make it work out
Make it work out
For each other tonight
-- Gemini Dream-The Moody Blues

Blatant Bribery

This was what greeted my sleepy eyes when I walked into my office at the crack of dawn today. The Grand Poobah has deemed it prudent to furnish fattening edibles to her hardworking staff as incentive to arrive promptly (pointing at "R") and uncomplainingly. Should our portly “R” display signs of blatant tardiness, those calorie-laden goodies will disappear in the blink of an eye. In reality, this is only the second time she has brought pastries to work in the past couple weeks and she has already decided that this as a daily purchase would be entirely too expensive for her pauper status. Um, she’s a VP and they are pulling down one hell of a lot more than we peons but whatever. *rolling eyes* Not being a donut fan myself and though they are easily within arms reach, I staunchly declined any inclination to snatch one and gobble it down. Biscuits and gravy would be a 'hole nuther story…

In keeping with the last, oh, month, it’s been one soggy week and I cannot tell you how fun it is to race to work in a futile attempt to beat the threatening storm clouds before they drop liquid moisture onto my office-bound self. This is a morning shot (looking south) of some sinister puffballs moving east as I’m speeding westward.

Stolen from Eileen:

1. Pick out a scar you have and explain how you got it.

Well, I have a small one on my left thumb from when two feline brothers from the Ghost of Kittens Past got into it with each other and somehow I ended up in the middle of it. I’m pretty sure TBC played a huge part in initiating the furry fisticuffs yet his thumbs were unscathed.

2. What is on the walls in your room?

Do we mean office or bedroom? Here in the office I have a massive American Impressionism painting from the PA Academy of the Fine Arts. Should we be talking bedroom, I have several totally diverse and completely mismatched drawings/paintings/maps. Let’s see, there’s a picture of an unnamed ocean with massive waves, a map of my OBX with a listing of all the ships that met their untimely death in the Graveyard of the Atlantic, a picture of a Japanese woman in a kimono holding an umbrella, and a surprisingly good drawing my mom did years ago of the fir trees that bordered our back yard in Ohio.

3. What does your phone look like?

The software in my pink Razr went belly up last year so I replaced it with the exact same Razr in silver.

4. What music do you listen to?

Just about anything but country. Not that some country isn’t pretty good, it just doesn’t happen to be my cup of tea.

5. What is your current desktop picture?

On my work computer I currently am displaying a moonlit lighthouse overlooking a placid bay. Webshots identifies it as Point Montara Lighthouse in Cali.

6. What do you want more than anything right now?

For my fav buddy to pop online and IM me. It won’t happen for awhile but I can ardently wish for it just the same.

7. Do you believe in gay marriage?

What a question.

8. What time were you born?

5:08 in the morning. Up at the crack of dawn I was.

9. Are your parents still together?

Together in death.

10. What are you listening to?

Coworkers talking in the hallway and some unidentified mechanical hum.

11. Do you get scared of the dark?

No.

12. The last person to make you cry?

Probably TBC since if anyone is going to make me cry, it would most likely be him.

13. What is your favorite perfume/cologne?

Beautiful-Estee Lauder

14. What kind of hair/eye type do you like on the opposite sex?

Thick, dark hair preferably and expressive eyes.

15. Do you like pain killers?

Not really. I have rarely had to take them and I learned the hard way not to take them on an empty stomach. Oh.My.God. NO. Now if you had asked me about muscle relaxers….

16. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Very much so. Unless I have had a drink or two. Ok, TBC would frown on it either way.

17. Favorite pizza topping?

Supreme. I want it all.

18. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?

A banana split. If I’m going to blow calories I might as well do it in a big way.

19. Who was the last person you made mad?

Water Buffalo by my not lending her the key.

20. Is anyone in love with you?

I seriously doubt it.

Troop Train

I don’t recall if I’ve mentioned this before but one of the most peculiar sights I am privy to observe is when a certain instructor wanders down our hallway with his ample wife and growing brood in tow. It happened again last week and talk about your Parade ‘O Kids! And we’re not just talking about one or two. Nosiree Bob! We’re talking about five or six predominantly male miniature synchronized stairsteps here. (She must pop out a new little bundle of joy every year.) It’s like The Kiddy Train chugging down the floor tiles all in single file headed up by the grand patriarch in front and his acquiescing spouse bringing up the caboosey rear. “J” seems like a nice enough guy and I’m assuming he’s a faithful, devoted, and trustworthy husband and father but why must he be accompanied by the whole stinkin gang every single time he steps out his front door? Do they not get out much? Is this obligatory “un pour tous, tous pour un” or as we prefer to say, “all for one and one for all” Three Musketeers motto being taken a bit too seriously? The kids seem pretty well-behaved and they are darn cute, but I can’t help but shake my puzzled in wonder every time I see this odd menagerie traipsing in and out of various offices as he takes care of school-related business. They do make for an amusing spectacle though... :)

Rosie Let Go from The View

It's about time they got rid of her!!!

NEW YORK (AP) -- Rosie O'Donnell has fought her last fight at "The View."

ABC said Friday she won't be back on the show following her angry confrontation with co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck on Wednesday.

O'Donnell asked for, and received, an early exit from her contract. She was due to leave "The View" in mid-June.

"Rosie contributed to one of our most exciting and successful years at 'The View,' " show creator Barbara Walters said. "I am most appreciative. Our close and affectionate relationship will not change."

In a statement, O'Donnell said she was grateful. "It's been an amazing year and I love all three women."

Presumably, that includes Hasselbeck. The two exchanged bitter words on Wednesday over O'Donnell's opposition to the war in Iraq. (Watch O'Donnell and Hasselbeck go at it )

They've frequently had snippy political exchanges during O'Donnell's year on the daytime chatfest, but never as long and loud as that one.

I am so sick of her. She has fought with everyone and her attitude sux. Maybe now they will get a good hostess for the show!!!?!!!

Vacation, Gonna Have a Good Time

Today is my last workday for a week! I'm here physically... but mentally i've checked out and i'm on vacation!

Richard and I are heading out to Las Vegas with my buddies Tiffany and Debbie. We're gonna tear the place up (as well as one pregnant hot chick can with a blond hot chick and her mom and preggers hubby)! Thunder From Down Under has been recommended to us as a show to not miss (by the guy that cut my hair) and so to counteract that... because I will drag Richard's butt to it... we'll have to catch a girlie show somewhere. I havent quite decided on which one yet, but I've seen a few so I know a couple of guaranteed good ones :)

I'm really excited about taking them to the old part of Vegas. You know where Elvis filmed his movies... where the Golden Nugget is! I've seen it several times and each time its amazing. The people, the light show, the entertainment... its all good! I'm hoping to catch a limo and let the driver drag us around town for a bit.... and grab a burger at In-n-Out Burger!

I'll take my camera for sure!!! I'll miss you Circe... but I have my phone should any good gossip happen and it cant wait!

Is This a Premonition?

Circe will love this one. I dreamed about Chaos College last night.

The dream started with me visiting the campus (I'd already quit and had gone back to see some of them), when all of a sudden the President called an impromptu budget meeting with the VP's. I sat and chatted with Circe and several other office people. Their arrangements had changed and all the offices were located off a central gathering area... so you could see everyone's office from the middle of the room. (weird).

Anyways, after sitting and jabbering for a while, my old VP (who needed to retire like 10 years ago because she's older than the hills and has CRS) came running (what running she could do in her 'trying to be 20-something again' stiletto heels) into her office and with a look of complete terror, slammed her door shut. Several people followed her and hit their offices with slamming doors. We all just sat there - stunned. What in the world is going on?!?!

WELL, the President came back to his office, pulled out a bowl with cards in it. On each card was a name... everyone had their name in the bowl. He said they were cutting the budget and by doing so, he was firing 10 people. He pulled the first name out and it was HIS Administrative Assistant! lol She was fired immediately. He pulled 9 more names out... and it just so happened that they were all people that had started working there in the last year.

I remember thinking I'm so glad I'd already left....

Fab Four

Before














After

Well gang, we’ve come to the end of our first long, interminable, butt-dragging, freshly-minted 4/10 workweek and I can now say with absolute certainty, TGIT(hursday)! These new hours are going to take some adjusting to and I just hope I can scrounge up enough energy to enjoy tomorrow after slogging through such mind-numbing, feet-dragging hours. I have been somewhat productive what with wading through crammed drawers and overstuffed file cabinets, reorganizing, and staring at the clock every three seconds but there is always that perplexing dilemma of how to while away the day for months on end (well okay, so it’s just a couple months, but still). There is always blogging, eh? Though I have many errands on my Friday "To Do” list, lazing in bed for later than 5:30 am is sounding downright agreeable for starters. Not only is this the beginning of longer weekends for Chaos College staff, not to mention Corporate Casual attire and Thursday Jeans Day, but we also kick it off with a lovely four-day weekend as we all hit the lakes/grills/patios/trails/campsites and whatnot to initiate my most favorite season of all—summer! *happy dance*

I’m not really sure this is as much an incentive has they hoped, but it was in my Browns Backers email yesterday.

Cleveland Browns Youth Football Camps

“Learn football techniques the Browns way this summer!” (Like how to lose?) The Cleveland Browns and Medical Mutual are holding football camps this summer. Developed by top NFL players and college coaches, these camps are designed for beginning football players. The curriculum will be taught by top area college and high school coaches. Browns coaches and players will make guest appearances.”

Footwear Folly

I cannot dress myself. Well, to be honest, I do put a lot of serious thought and preliminary preparation into my daily pairings and I do a fairly decent job of coordination of separates/jewelry/flattering makeup but I veer wildly off course when it comes to complementing footwear. I don’t know what happens. It’s like my brain disengages when faced with shodding these distance appendages. And this from a gal who has a firm grip on what she is wearing to work three weeks from now! You may not believe this but as those close to me can attest, I have work clothes under fixed rotation in my walk-in closet and though considerable flexibility is allowed and last minute understudies may be called upon in a pinch, I pretty much know what I’ll be sporting throughout my workweek. (Is that sad or what?) Now normally I have less of a problem pairing skirts/dresses with shoes but once we hit warmer weather and boots are no longer a viable option, I am at a loss as to what footwear best enhance my slacks. Case in point is this morning. I have on a striped aqua and white blouse with ivory/bone(?) pants and though I love this particular pair they cause me more grief and stress than any others. What shoes do I wear with them? The low-heeled black sandals looked dumb, the similarly bone-colored, crisscross-strapped flat sandals looked even worse, and the newly purchased two-toned platform slides were too dressy. Then my sleepy eyes spied my extremely dorky khaki loafer monstrosities that most strongly bring to mind Duckie (you know, the scene where he walks down the hallway to the prom with Andie) from "Pretty in Pink," peeking out from my shoe basket wagging their tail, begging for attention and darn if I didn’t go with them. What was I thinking??? They complement nothing in my vast array of clothing choices, and though comfy, I need to muster up steely determination and send them hurtling into the trash bin. Tonight when I return home I will ensure I never make this colossal sartorial mistake again. *hangs head in mortifcation* But in the meantime I sit in my office looking dorky and foolish, hiding my embarrassed tootsies under the concealing desk. Please send the Shoe Fairy. Pronto.

With This Ring, I Thee Wed

Sunday afternoon/evening we spent watching a friend tie the knot. Richard's friend Eric said his "I do's" and married Abby... in our state's capital. Pretty cool that they rent out some of the rooms for such an event.... Here I'll share some pictures.


This picture actually serves two purposes. Saturday morning I got my hair cut by a new sylist... He swatted me with his brush for treating my hair so bad and cut off about 6 inches or so to get it in a healthier state. So... here's a pic of my new do AND a pic of Richard and I as we're headin out to the wedding!


Here's Richard waiting for his instructions before the wedding took place.


Abby with her bridesmaids.


Eric with the groomsmen. I'm pretty fond of the one on the left ;)


At the reception we dined with Henri and Brandi... they are so fun!


Richard and Eric... BFF.


Here's where Richard spent his time. Considering my current physical state... I couldnt join him!!! So I ate a huge piece of chocolate cake. Gained 10 pounds.

Unidentified Floating Object

Last night I dreamed that I pooped a turd shaped like a UFO.

What the heck!?!?!?

Feces

To see or come in contact with feces, signifies aspects of yourself that are dirty and negative and which you believe to be undesirable and repulsive. You need to acknowledge and express these feelings, even though it may be shameful. Release the negativity in your life. Alternatively, it may also refer to someone who is anal retentive.

To dream that you are unable to dispose of the feces, suggests that you are unwilling to let go of your emotions. You have a tendency to hold in and keep your feelings to yourself.

According to Freud, feces is related to possession, pride, shame, money/financial matters, or aggressive acts. So to dream that you are playing with feces, symbolizes your anxiety over money matters and financial security.

My dream analysis says nothing about shapes in your poo and all I did was look at it. I didnt try to dispose of it or come in contact with it in any way (BLAH). I do work with someone that is anal retentive and that drives me crazy... but other than that, I have no good reason why I dreamed this. Wonder why a UFO shape?

Freebie Friday

For the next few months, Chaos College goes to summer hours and though those initial four workdays are long, tedious, and wearisome, we are rewarded at the end of the week with the glorious gift of sleeping in, running errands and playing catch-up as we get a much appreciated jump on sultry, summery, suntastic three-day weekends. Hear hear!

I’m not at all sure he actually said this, but it was darn funny…

Jeff Foxworthy’s Views on Oklahoma

• “If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Oklahoma.” (TBC does this!)
• “If "vacation" means going anywhere in Oklahoma City for the weekend, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Oklahoma.” (guilty, guilty, guilty!)
• “If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Oklahoma.” (applies to Ohio also)
• “If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Oklahoma.”
• “If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Oklahoma.”

The Stuff Dreams are Made Of

If I slept two hours last night, it's a miracle. For weeks I've tossed and turned and not been able to get in good pillow time, but last night tops it all. I should have just stayed up and not even attempted to get shut eye.

First of all, I was asleep, awake, asleep, awake, etc all night. During the awakes I got up and went to pee, got a drink of water, and settled back in. During one of my asleep stages, I had the most horrible nightmare.

I'm a big fan of Notes from the Underbelly and last night it was a double-header. I watched both. So, makes sense that I'd dream about the show..... right!?!? In my dream I'm watching the show... actually I'm in the show, but not acting. Just kind of standing to the side watching Cooper (she cracks me up!) get chatty with Andrew and Lauren and then all of a freakin' sudden she turns around with a huge daggar and starts stabbing everyone! Now it's turned comedy to horror! She nailed someone, but i'm unclear as to who it was... but in real-life Kerry-land i'm screaming!!! That wakes me up... wakes Richard up... he pats me (his quiet way of making it all better) and whispers 'was it a nightmare!?'

Like you'd never imagine!

I laid there trying to recover... then I heard a noise. I tried to assess the location, but couldnt quite figure out whether it was inside or outside or down the street, heck for all I know it was across town and my supersonic bionic ears picked it up! I never did get back to sleep... until about ten minutes before my alarm went off.

So i'm draggin' butt today.

Toxic Ties

I have long mulled over a post telling about my eccentric aunt but the course of events has taken a darker, ominous turn and my post must reflect this change and the irony is not lost that this past weekend was Mother’s Day. My cousin is dying of lung cancer and his ongoing acrimonious connection to his mean, hateful mother looks to end bleak and unresolved. I sit 1500 miles away, powerless to fix the unfixable, fervently wishing I could wave a magic wand and give him back the childhood he deserved and erase his understandable, deep-seated anger and resentment. And I cannot. Through snippets of conversations with my own mother (her younger sister) throughout the years, I heard many disturbing tales of my headstrong, stubborn, control-freak, iron-willed aunt. (This is the same spiteful woman that wound her phone cord around and around a kitchen chair (!!) so I wouldn’t use her phone line to dial into the net when we were out there visiting). Yeah. Her single-parent skills left much to be desired as she used him as an indentured servant, subject to her whims and demands, minus a loving father to offset her malevolent direction and buffer her bizarre actions. The origin of this royalty complex and sense of entitlement remains an unsolved mystery. It seems from Day One this willful firstborn child installed herself as The Queen, usurping her own mother’s rightful place in the family dynamics, lording it over her three lesser siblings. This diminutive dictator worshiped her father, detested her mother and wreaked havoc on all who crossed her path with her only child, my cousin, forever caught in the crossfire of a misdirected hate she never acknowledged. One can’t help but think of the total annihilation she would have caused a daughter considering the amount of psychic damage inflicted on her male child. His life has not been devoid of joy as he has a caring wife and children to offset her toxic rants and demeaning decrees. Hopefully they have repeatedly assured him of his exceeding value and worth, expressions never uttered from her self-centered mouth. Her verbal abuse is legendary and undiminished as her own mortality looms on the horizon. Through our last phone conversation, I discerned his continuing struggle to win her elusive love coupled with the very human desire for retaliatory paybacks. Yet one cannot help but wonder what early skewed misdeeds provoked this lifetime of unacceptable behavior? One is left to speculate on what shadowy skeletons she long ago stashed in her secret closet. His final finish line beckons and he withholds his fatal prognosis from her, never mentioning the disease that will inevitably take his life. It is a decision he has made and we honor that choice. No deathbed reconciliations are expected and my heart aches—for both. This is not the happily ever after ending one envisions for a parent-child bond and I am powerless to make it better. All I can do is assure him of his cousin’s enduring care and abiding affection. I love you, Ron. Always.

Rap Stars Girfriend

Here was tonight's scenerio:

P is sitting peacefully at the kitchen table eating his dinner, Richard is leaning over the counter watching us, and i'm bent over digging through the bottom of the refrigerator trying to find just one bottle of cold water to take with me to the gym.

All of a sudden, our peace is interrupted by:

*P singing in his greatest rapper voice* I like big butts and I can not lie... you other brotha's can't deny... when a girl walks in with a itty bitty waist and a round butt in your face... you know the rest.

I didn't hear him. What I did hear was Richard laughing his hiney off and saying "what did you say!?!" all the time knowing what P just sang. I jumped up and tuned in... realizing that I was bent over when he started singing that!!!

Me: P!!!! Were you singing that at my butt!?!?
P: NO MOM! *laughing hysterically to the point he can hardly breathe*
Me: I'm surprised you didn't start with 'Oh, my gawd, Becky! look at her butt!!'
Rich: Nope, he jumped right to the good part 'I like big butts....'

I'm glad these guys love me! lol

oh... and as a side note... correct me if i'm wrong but Reba McIntyre seems to have gotten new and improved boobies!

Pampered Pair

Saturday was a day of pampered beauty rituals for sis and me. Though I had made an appointment several months ago for us, my cosmetician had been forced to reschedule thanks to extensive allergies on her part but we couldn’t have picked a nicer alternate day had we tried. Unlike Mz Circe, sis is not as cosseted or indulgent with herself so I like to spoil her occasionally with items or treatments she would never think of buying/doing for herself. While she was enjoying her fantastic facial, I enlisted the idle nail tech to give me an unplanned manicure and then we switched places after our procedures concluded. It had been ages since I’d had any external nail pampering and what better way to while away free moments? (next time, pedicures) My color choice was Tango, a coral hue, and sis is now sporting a pretty mauve shade. After our enhancing treatments, we hit the mall and got a bite to eat followed by some carefree shopping. I broke down and replaced my mislaid Maraschino lipstick and sis found the perfect white jacket to go with her summery spaghetti-strapped dress. In Petco, I spied two adorable cat collars for BW but decided to hold off on purchasing for now. Our final stop was the thirst-satisfying coffee shop for some delicious ice-cold Granitas before wending our way home. Sunday was just as lovely and I topped the afternoon off by getting some much-needed mowing in before more rains contribute to further grassy growth. Hope your weekend was just as wonderful.

Mom's Day

Me: being all excited because we're going to eat Sea food!


I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day! Richard and the boys took me out to eat for Mom's Day. My pick.... and I picked Red Lobster. I hadnt eaten there for many years and sea food has been on my list of 'wants' for quite some time. P and I shared jumbo shrimp and crab legs while Richard and C dined on their fish and chicken. I also happened to score some chocolate (those boys know me all too well!) and a massage, pedicure, manicure... whatever I'd like at the spa.

Another pic of me before we left to eat (11 weeks preggers too)