Birthday Party Pics

I've finally had a chance to sit down and get the pictures from Richard's birthday off my camera. I made him a German Chocolate cake (his request) and drowned it in icing. Yummy!



He spit on it for us to get the fire out.


I told him it was going to be the best birthday ever ever! He was shocked.... a happy shocked. He got an Xbox 360... the one thing I did NOT want in my house because its only breeding grounds for trouble. I bought it.


The happy birthday boy with a hot party girl.

Picture Perfect

Another ‘happening’ this past weekend was the family photo shoot. In all honesty we have never ever had a fam pic so this was quite an extraordinary event. My talented niece flew out from NC to visit and while she was out here, picked up a few bucks on the side by putting one of her many skills to good use. Sis and gang opted for the white shirt/bluejeans look while the Circe menagerie went with the more GQ black polo/khaki visage. We occasionally let the pure silliness shine through resulting in joyful merriment rather than tedious chore. Afterwards we all enjoyed a relative-intense cookout featuring grilled chicken, baked potatoes, veggies, salad, and a hefty bottle of Merlot. As we toasted marshmallows by the crackling bonfire and turned them into gooey S’mores, leftover fireworks burst above the appreciative crowd.

TBC finally broke down yesterday and had me call AT&T ("the new Cingular") regarding his notoriously popular cell number. If you recall the story, a certain female in town has a vast collection of unsavory friends who are forever either in dire need of a. some sort of ‘package,’ or b. assistance in detention springing as they frantically employ the get-out-of-jail collect call. Alrighty then. In the months he has had these mobile digits, the calls have never lessened as her buddies apparently cannot distinguish between the numbers “6” and “8” when they are higher than a kite. At any rate, he’s now the proud owner of a brand spanking new number that the rep promised had no previous owners or dubious history. The irony was not lost when he informed me this morning that his phone jarred him awake at 2:30 am by someone named “private.” WTF?

Shake a Tail Feather

I’m sure I’ll be feeling some residual aches and pains this week as I recover from our lively Latino dance party last night. Though our gathering was small and intimate, we managed to rattle the walls as we twisted and twirled to the music. Mischief, the only male (kitty) allowed to remain, was terrified and hid out in the bedroom when he wasn’t playing soccer with the whipped cream cap. After chowing down on chips, dip, root beer floats, and brownie sundaes, the festivities got under way with a loving and painstakingly compiled multimedia slide show of “S’s” personal six-month DR experience. Thanks to “S’s” patience, I can now say with confidence that I have danced the Bachata, Cumbia, Salsa, and my personal favorite, the Merengue. I had to be reminded that I had already received lessons for the Salsa when we stayed at the tropical resort. Um, I've slept since then... As yet, I cannot distinguish among the differing melodies for the first three, but by golly if my feet cannot stop tapping and my hips rhythmically undulate on their own accord to an irresistible, catchy beat, I know it’s the Merengue! We worked up a lot of sweat, laughed ourselves silly and hopefully burned off mucho calories. Of course, we each had to bust our own unique American moves occasionally, but all in all, we threw our heart and soul into the seductive swaying. (I tossed in a few energetic pirouettes for good measure!) The party was still in full swing when I bid my goodbyes (some of us have to work on Monday), but the evening was a resounding success. Whose up for big band swing dance lessons? :)

Let There Be Light

Today was Richards birthday... here's how we've spent it...

In the dark.

Our electricity has been off more than its been on. We fixed lunch (electricity had already been off and back on once), then started in on cake and ice cream and the electricity started in... off, on, off, on, etc. Finally, it came on and stayed for about an hour. We opened his gifts - which i'd love to share pictures of, but I cant get to my computer without electricity! All the boys sat down to hook up the new XBox 360, I headed out for my pedicure... and my phone rang. They announced the power had gone out again, so they were going shopping. HOURS later, we all return home to find no power yet... and the house is hot.... the air is still... and our entire neighborhood has set up camp in their driveways.

We opted to go see a movie. Mr Bean... and in my opinion not very funny. Everyone else laughed, but I wasn't seeing the humor. Anyways ... we headed back to the house to find a completely dark neighborhood. UGH! So, here we are sittiing at my sister's place while kids do homework and I surf the net and Richard celebratets the last moments of his birthday day, watching Attack of Mars or something like that.

Apparently, there are about 775 customers without power and they dont have an explanation why. Oh the joy.

Guilty Pleasures

I know you all remember me telling you about my secret shame of watching Dr. 90210, but I stoop even lower than that. My guiltiest pleasure is watching Hef’s GFs in all their bosomy glory strut their very well-endowed stuff in the fluffy reality show, The Girls Next Door. You'll recognize them by the dollar signs they greedily exchanged for irises. Yes, I know it glorifies shallow, superficial appearances without a speck of tangible substance and yes, I feel the need to take a long, cleansing shower after each viewing, and yes, I sense my IQ plummeting much like a meteor hurtling toward earth, but there is something so crassly entertaining about watching this trio of young, nubile bleached-blondes parading around in scanty costumes readying themselves for the next glitzy blowout bash or trying to decide what to buy their 80-something coddled, codger “boyfriend” for Valentine’s Day/his geriatric birthday/Bastille Day. And lest I forget, the Valentine's Day episode featured the dogs, Winnie (a black something or other) and Duke (chihuahua) being squired around the grounds by chauffeur Holly for their 'romantic carriage ride.' Ummm, ok....In my opinion, Holly is the prettiest, Bridget the dumbest (and supposedly the smartest), and though Kendra glams up beautifully with the application of makeup, she's not all that spectacular facewise sans warpaint. The show pretty much flip flops along between these two “intellectual” premises. And though a mindless diversion and though I involuntarily shudder every time the feather-brained bimb, I mean smart, savvy ingénues give the geezer a peck on his leathery, withered lips, I continue to stare transfixed at the screen as I voyeuristically ponder the unspoken possibilities. Shaggingly speaking, do they do threesomes? Foursomes? Does it go by rotation? Drawing straws? Rock-paper-scissors? Picking a number out of the party hat? Do they occasionally indulge in strictly girl-on-girl action and gleefully lock the aged perv out of the Pleasuredome? And then I wonder what they’ve been willed/gifted/promised to willingly bump uglies with the decrepit King of Hedonism? Pardon me while I switch to the History Channel...

That Time of Year Again

This weekend is a big event at our house! Richard's birthday!

Happy pre-Birthday, babydoll! I can't wait to see you Saturday! You see, Richard has been working all kinds of OT at work and has stayed buried in code all week. I'm hoping to drag him out for a bit on Saturday ;)

We went to our baby-birthin' class last night and we discovered that the breathing techniques are probably not going to work for us because a) Richard says he feels stupid and b) we get to laughing. The different labor positions probably aren't going to work much because a) I feel like a dork and b) we get to laughing. We may not be laughing much when those real contractions hit and if he even cracks a little laugh i'll hit him so hard that i'll knock that little giggle right out of him! Just bring on the epidural!

Obstruction Zone

The obstinate post I was working on for today unexpectedly departed for Microsoft Word 2007 heaven so hopefully my revised version fills the bill. Minor, petty things have been accumulating all this week and yes, I realize it’s only Wednesday. Already I’m in dire need of a serious attitude adjustment. Or a drink. Or both. The ladies upstairs bathroom has been out of commission for a week and a half now and there is no plumber in sight. I have called maintenance and even reminded the Exalted Poobah’s assistant to no avail. It isn’t that I mind traipsing down the stairs to the communal stalls (more exercise), but it’s the fact they keep the downstairs potties less than pristine and our "genteel scholars" have a heck of a time remembering to flush let alone place their used towels in the trash.

"Attention Ladies, and I'm using that term loosely here:
Please turn around and flush the toilet when you are through. Or reach back and hit the handle. Either way. Ok? Thank you."

But no, they would rather be dirty, little pigs. That don’t care. They are dirty, little pigs that don’t care. One never knows what eyeball-searing scene will greet ones peepers as one fearfully opens a stall door. It is positively vile. The faucet water reaches the sizzling temperature of “tepid” so after washing ones hands, doubt lingers while wondering if this heat is sufficient to kill those throngs of copulating germs.

Also, we just received a memo that starting tomorrow, yet another entrance will be blocked off. Why don’t they just get it over with and entomb staff in here like a body in a coffin forgodssakes?! Or better yet, just lock us out completely. I am really tired of trying to figure out new ways to enter or exit the premises with all this construction going on. Did they have to work on everything at once? Aren’t we violating stringent fire codes or something by now? And to top it off, I missed seeing Naked Guy on the Side of the Highway waving at passerby on Monday afternoon as he was long gone by 5 pm. Dang it!!!

Glamour Shots

You wanna see something just precious!!!???




Our lil Kerry Jr stretching her hamstrings! hehe


She had her feet in the way the entire time we tried to get a good picture of her. lol

I Want More

Did y'all watch the VMA's last night!?

Richard and I were out of town so we set the pre-show and the actual awards to record. I fast forwarded to the one little part I wanted to see... the Comeback of Britney Spears! I actually was interested in seeing if she even showed up! She's been scheduled for shows periodically in Vegas and has a terrible habit of being a no-show or performing horrendously. I had to see how this one went.

She showed, but obviously wasn't into it. It appeared as if she was scared.... stage fright almost. Maybe it was a bit overwhelming to her. Who knows. But the lip-synching was horrible and she even just stopped singing at one point... and then seemed to remember she was supposed to be singing. The choreography was like what a group of elementary school kids could do. Nothing fantastic. Nothing 'popping'. I also thought a few times that she seemed to stumble...

What happened to Chris Angel? Rumor had it they were going to perform together. Maybe at the last minute HE bailed and she was forced to throw together some performance?!?

Here's what I read this morning:

.

MTV Awards flourish despite Britney bomb
By NEKESA MUMBI MOODY, AP Music Writer
Today at 3:55 am

As in most train wrecks, it was hard to focus on just one thing as the Britney Spears disaster unfolded. There was just so much that went wrong.

Out-of-synch lip-synching. Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home. The paunch in place of Spears' once-taut belly. At times she just stopped singing altogether, as if even she knew nothing could save her performance.

Designed to drum up excitement for her upcoming album, Spears' kickoff to the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday night became another example of how far she has fallen. It would have been understandable if MTV's show had been crushed under the weight of the opening fiasco -- yet somehow it rebounded, and even flourished

Fantasy Frenzy

After all the cousin drama this week, I totally forgot to relate how the FFB auction went this past Saturday. Of course, I came completely festooned in my fav team colors (orange and brown, natch) and even had a few pumpkiny streaks scattered throughout my flowing locks. TBC accompanied me for a change and for the most part, I was happy he came, but there was the minor snafu of his taking over my player bidding and in a flash spending all my hard earned fake buckeroos. Darn him! And he most definitely was favoring his team’s lineup as I am the proud owner of quite a few Steelers men. Alas, I was unable to snag My Tony. *sniff* Though I didn’t squabble over the seating arrangement this time, I did start to show cracks in my amiable armor by the last dozen rounds or so as those with money to burn continued grabbing players for ridiculously low prices while the rest of us felt ourselves rapidly aging before our eyes. And yes, I was the most obvious as my transparent gestures revealed my extreme displeasure with audible sighing, obvious eye-rolling and the ever popular dramatic ‘head thrown down onto crossed arms across table’ move. Even TBC proclaimed in a loud tone that I “probably wouldn’t be doing this again.” Yes, I admit I find the auction method lengthy and tedious and yes, I would much prefer the slightly shorter and fairer draft as we have done in the past. At any rate, I got through it without killing anyone, but just barely. In looking at the matchups, I am favored to win this first skirmish but most seem to have much better teams and I’m not feeling very optimistic for my chances throughout this season. Oh well. Thought you’d enjoy a pic of the managers’ cupcakes that the commish’s wife whipped up. And yes, they were darn tasty. Also, here is an article from The Onion on my principal quarterback. *LOL*

Cousin update: In other news, after spending two glorious nights in the pokey, our favorite psychotic was let loose on an unsuspecting world when wifey and TBC arrived to bail him out yesterday afternoon. Actually he went from jail to the hospital and is being held for evaluation. Here’s hoping his release is not hasty as I don’t want a recap of this crazy week...

Mild Temperatures for this Weekend

Everyone does things that they later regret - I'm not really referring to 'I wish I'd gotten the salad instead of that double whopper and triple cheese'. When I was a young'en (i'm talking college, early 20's) I did alot of things that I later felt much regret for and some things I really wish I could have gone back and had do-overs. Some things I probably should have felt regret towards, but didnt think twice about them, and other things I regretted, but time healed that feeling and I'm long over it.

You'd think that as a person matures, they'd learn from some of the life lessons and make better decisions and adjustments so that those situations don't arise or are at least less severe. However, some continue to do things that later bring much regret. Some intentional (and probably hope to never get caught), some accidental.

I wish I could do do-overs. Some things I just really regret and I wish there were do-overs. I guess when it's done, or said, it's already done, or said. No do-over. We just learn to live with it, or not, and make an adjustment.

I'm not sure which way to adjust.

Cousin's Keeper

Some posts just write themselves. It all started about a week ago while TBC and I were yakking on the phone. Oldest brother had shown up at our house before heading to their cousin’s nearby dwelling to try to straighten things out between Nutjob and Flower Child. It seems there was an acrimonious fight underway and reinforcements in the guise of “S” were called upon to enter the fray. I guess things briefly settled down—till Monday. TBC and "K" had just left our house when a tearful call was left on voicemail from distraught Flower Child. Yet another battle had broken out with Nutjob zooming off to our friendly, local Supercenter Walmart to camp out and cool off? Buy toilet paper? Mingle with the unwashed masses? I have no earthly idea. Overflowing with the milk of human kindness, I relucta, er, helpfully dialed the absent TBC and asked him to return Flower Child’s call and assess the situation upon which he headed out to Walmart to talk to his wayward relative. Two hours later TBC returned home, feeling confident he had done the best he could to smooth things over. However, Nutjob did not wish to rejoin Flower Child as yet so TBC had suggested he rent a motel room and get some much needed rest seeing as how the sleep-deprived guy was pretty much off his rocker. This advice was not taken. Early yesterday afternoon, TBC calls and warns me not to return home until given the green light. It seems rather than take TBC’s sage advice, Mr. Loon had wandered the premises of Wally World all night and showed up at our place unkempt, filthy and nuttier than a fruitcake. I find it hard to believe Walmart employees never alerted authorities, but I guess his actions were not much different than their nightly clientele. Anyway, though it didn’t sound like TBC was being held hostage, I worried about him all afternoon as I’m unaware of cuz’s propensity for violence. After one final call before leaving work, I headed to “S” & “T’s” house to spend an uncertain amount of the evening. Finally at 7 pm, I headed home to learn of the day’s events. It seems Mr Fruitcake had not eaten, briefly slept in our bed and was given strict orders to patch things up with Flower Child and give his marriage another shot. (I changed the sheets.) After a fitful night, I am back at work today and sure enough, the expected call came around 9 am. It seems Nutjob headed home, resumed fighting, boozed it up, showed up at a smokeshop and threatened to shoot employees (with his finger) resulting in a public intoxication ticket and jail time. Good lord! TBC stopped by his house to find the deputy there and was told Nutjob would be escorted to a psychiatric evaluation center after leaving lockup. Hear hear! Sad to say, a similar episode occurred a few years ago when he lived in a different state. I’m not exactly sure what his mental problems are but it is high time they were addressed and resolved. Will keep you posted…

On Our Long Weekend

I hope everyone had a great Labor Day weekend! We took it easy this weekend and just 'fiddle farted' around the house.

A few of our pictures from today...
Me in our backyard.


Me doing a sexy Madonna pose for Richard in the backyard.


Richard doing a sexy Madonna pose for me... in the house... while pushing his stomach out to try to make me feel better because no matter how much I suck in, it still sticks out. Nice bedhead dude!

In Search of OU Football Shoes

For the past few weeks my running shoes have been causing terrible blisters and sore spots on my left foot. Primarily my big toe and its ball (what is that thing called... you know, the joint that works your big toe. Your big toe ball joint thing). Anyways, I've been on the search for new shoes and haven't found any I liked so far.

A couple of days ago, my friend Marsha emailed me and asked if she could come stay with us because she had to pick a friend up at the airport and she wanted to come down the night before. Certainly! Marsha came friday night and like all girls would... we headed to the mall. SHE was looking for new shoes to wear to the OU game today, I was just along for the ride. However, I found my new shoes! It always works that way. You look for something... you can't find it, but stop looking and BAM there it is!

I wore my new shoes (currently I am walking in my running shoes as a temporary condition has slowed my gym activity some) this morning and I think i'm going to like them!

Here's me and Marsha as she left to get her buddy at the airport.

I Write Everywhere

My gym story is here.

It's our blog that we used until it went belly up a year or so ago! It's back!!!

Summer Serenade

I know August catches a lot of unwelcome flack what with its oppressive heat and lack of holidays, but I for one, love it. Good things have usually happened to me during this month and though I’m coming up empty in relating specific recent instances, I still consider it one of my personal favorites. As we bid farewell to sultry summer and gear up for clear, crisp, cooler, bright autumn days (the cooler part won’t happen until October for Okieland), we kick off these changes with this Labor Day weekend salute. This closing summer fling is met with mixed emotions as I reflect on the subtle and not so subtle changes soon to occur. While looking at my handy dandy activities planner, I see I have a full dance card for every single weekend. In no particular order my list includes Fantasy Football auction, college play, chili cookoff, art festival, photoshop seminar, TBC cousin reunion, niece visiting from NC slated to shoot some exceedingly overdue family portraits, Latino dance party and Ker’s ultimate babygirl shower. Whew! All this is in addition to my usual, demanding weekend tasks. And let’s not forget my intensifying movie watching addiction. I upped my plan to three-at-a-time from Netflix recently so I’ll be frequently firing up the microwave for tasty snacks washed down with yummy beverages. (And yes, by “beverages,” I mean bottles of vino. You know me too well.) ;-)

Much like the very ornery blogger I am, I hope to kick-start the long weekend off right by totally pissing off my favorite airhead Xanga blogger by inciting her to riot thanks to the goofy name I plan to use to get onto her locked site. I expect a testy, venom-strewn, obscenity-laced, retaliatory private message in response. Good times!

Have a safe and fabulous weekend!

Follicle Follies

“No one has love greater than this, that someone should surrender his soul in behalf of his friends.”—John 15:13

To what lengths will one go to help a friend? As I pushed the button to start this Netflix selection, I had no idea what to expect and no intention of reviewing it, but the best laid plans, eh? Much like the anonymous viewer’s quote on IMDB, I found it strangely addicting and though initially ambivalent, ended up replaying it a second time before reluctantly returning it to home base. It’s a late 70s movie set during what I can only guess is the autumn after the Summer of Love (1967). A naïve Oklahoma cowboy with the unlikely name of Claude, on his way to report for duty in the U.S. Army, is befriended by a ragtag band of carefree hippies who hang out in Central Park as they live life in the moment and revel in their everyday existence. Taking advantage of every opportunity, their fearless leader, the Pied Piper of free spirits, Berger, shows Claude an alternate slice of life as he enters the psychedelic underbelly of a heretofore unknown universe. While in Central Park, he locks eyeballs with a vision of pure loveliness in the form of steed-riding Beverly D’Angelo (pre-Ellen Griswold), an upper crust debutante born with the proverbial spoon in her perfectly-bowed mouth. (Yeah, she flashes her boobies several times. Remember "Vacation"?) Our hirsute Robin Hood aids his new-found friend in surmounting any obstacles in his quest to be near his new love. And it is this sacrificial willingness that leads to his downfall. Though the opening moments show Berger and his gang of merry men burning their draft cards, refusing to fight for a belief system they despise, a system that mindlessly feeds the never-satisfied appetite of a massive war machine, it is he alone that carries this lofty ideal to its furthest conclusion and pays the ultimate price. This movie begs the observer to question just what defines a true 'hero'. During the gut-wrenching final shot of Berger’s grave nestled among thousands of fellow compatriots killed on foreign soil, silent tears fall. If anyone displayed the embodiment of selfless surrender it was our cock-eyed optimist, Berger. And could the catchy ditty, "Manchester, England" puulllleeeeze vacate my noggin? Let the sun shine, indeed.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

Like many of the other crazy people in the state, we were up at the wee hours of the morning this morning watching the Lunar Eclipse. C set his alarm for 3:45am so we wouldn't miss any of it. It was a bit early... we all headed back to bed for about another 30 minutes before the real action began.

C snapped my picture while we watched and after he got it.. he said "MOM! How do you do that!?!?" He meant smile at 4:30am just like I do all the other times. I am a professional actress! hehe






As it was becoming daylight...

Without a Hitch

Her: young, very emotional, somewhat unstable, huge slob

Him: older, batched it for years, tight with the money

The expected fireworks, emotional meltdowns, verbal assaults and pissy catfights never transpired as the late afternoon nuptials this past Saturday between my relative and his considerably younger bride went off with nary a glitch. But there were bubbling undercurrents of malevolent feelings and not without some merit. Let me explain why. Years ago, “J” dated his beloved’s older sister and though she herself wed several years go, long squelched residual feelings of jealousy came shooting to the surface much like bubbling lava surging its way to the volcano’s cone. Rumor had it that both this trouble-making female and one of their brothers and his spouse would be officially boycotting the proceedings but this proved unfounded. However, both these offended crones showed up swathed in ebony and you can’t tell me that was a coincidence. (Word: Expect trouble if you marry the younger sibling of a jilted older sis.)

By the dawn of last Friday, I seriously considered popping a calm-inducing pain pill (left over from the car accident) just for the hell of it had I had another soul-crusher day like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, but the rollercoaster that is my worklife slowed to half-tilt boogie (hehehe, CM) and I never resorted to such drastic measures. Still, it's wise to have a Plan B. :)

Besides the “what entryway is accessible today” dilemma, we are now experiencing a serious parking problem for those of us utilizing the south lot. Parking is truly at a premium and I cannot swear that fisticuffs haven’t or won’t break out as we scramble for limited spaces. I’m back to walking on my treadmill in the wellness center at noon but since I refuse to relinquish my coveted slot, I’m getting more of a workout what with having to truck over on foot. And that’s a good thing…

Thought to Ponder

Ummm.... Question.

Should elementary aged children be in the delivery room??? At their request.

We Should Have been Doctors

Good Monday Morning! After a rough weekend and spending truckloads of money trying to make me feel better and hanging with a few friends, i've made it to Monday. Yuck. The good thing is, one of the thorns in my side is on vacation this week! yeah!!!

I've been chatting with my distant partner in crime... my best partner in crime at Chaos College... JJ. The one that always does the Depression tests with me online and we've self diagnosed (and medicated) for years. Today, we've decided that we're going to have nervous breaksdowns. Actually I think i've started mine already.... well he has too, we just havent made it official.

Because we're unclear on how to begin the breakdown process, we turned to professional help.... Googled it.

According to Wikipedia:

Mental breakdown (also known as nervous breakdown) is a non-medical term used to describe a sudden, acute attack of mental illness such as depression or anxiety. When used in common social discourse, the term often has pejorative connotations.

Specific cases are usually described as a "breakdown" only after a person becomes unable to function in day-to-day life due to mental illness. At that point the person's condition is advanced, and seeking professional aid is likely advisable.

Like the term “sanity,” the terms "nervous breakdown" and "mental breakdown" have no medical definition and are not used in a clinical sense. However, the medical or personal problems precipitating a sudden breakdown may well benefit from professional medical or psychological treatment.

A mental breakdown is not the same as a panic attack, though mental breakdowns can trigger panic.

Causes of breakdown might include:

chronic and unresolved grief
unemployment
academic problems - he does work at Chaos College!
career burnout - been a major problem for years! I'd love to make a change.
social stress - I miss my friends back home so much!
post-war trauma
chronic insomnia and other sleep disorders - I can't sleep worth shit.
serious or chronic illness of a family member
divorce
death of a family member
pregnancy - He's not knocked up, but I am... and I long for the day to be able to wear skinny clothes and be able to catch my breath.
a traumatic, violent, or near-death experience
deception by a loved one.
The sudden, acute onset of the following mental illnesses might be classified as breakdowns:

clinical depression
bipolar disorder
psychosis
dissociation
post-traumatic stress disorder
severe stress - i know he has this at work... and since my wonderful boss passed away, i've had to suffer through with less than desirable replacements!
anxiety

Our next step is a good cry. Uncontrollable cry. I think... no, i'm pretty sure I can spit one out. He thinks he's not able to produce... I say BS. If you want it bad enough, you can do it! We need some time off work to regroup. Go fishing. Go shopping. Watch daytime television!

Puddle Jumper

It’s just been a pleasure coming to work this week. *heavy on sarcasm* Thankfully it’s finally Friday (though our ‘think tank’ is on the fritz yet again) and between the firm talk I had with myself regarding the necessity of continued and steady employment, and the promise that a pain pill would be promptly swallowed to induce don’tgivearatsassitis should the need arise, I am present and accounted for. Not that negotiating a trail to my building has been a cakewalk. For months now, two entrances have been walled off thanks to our continued renovations but the last few weeks have found yet a third opening a veritable obstacle course as we totter our way across the lawn vainly striving to avoid globs of mud and puddles on the sidewalk along with the acorns and dirt mounds on the grass thanks to the men and bobcats digging trenches and laying pipe in this area. And I'm wearing my stone-hued slacks today that now feature several suspicious symmetrical stains at the bottom. This leaves the fourth entryway that this morning featured a lovely cascading waterfall dripping down on unsuspecting visitors. Though aesthetically pleasing, I’m guessing they were less than thrilled that we require an additional hygienic shower before tending to their school-related needs. After all, cleanliness is next to godliness, ya know. I had hoped this would cut down on all the nagging whiners streaming into my office all week, but this tenacious bunch have shown fortitude and dogged determination and unfortunately have not been deterred by these varied obstructions blocking their path. And it’s raining this afternoon so those puddles will be muddy lakes by 5 pm. Though I long for a much needed respite this weekend, I've got a relatives wedding to attend Saturday and your faithful reporter plans to relate all the gory details next week. What a bumpy start to the insane fall semester!

Playing in Playa

While we were in Mexico, we hopped on the ferry and rode the short little jaunt to Playa Del Carmen. I've mentioned some of this before (we rented the squirrel cage and went to Tulum, etc). Anyways, after Tulum and various other activities... food became important. We decided to hit Senor Frogs on the beach and pig out on chips and salsa and all kinds of mexican food and drinks!


In Mexico, they grown grasshoppers the size of combines (I mean the ones we use here in Oklahoma to cut wheat!). Sheri was eating when she felt something on her back. She reached back to knock it off, and flung this grasshopper on the ground. She jumped up screaming. Just look at it! It's huge! The thing even drew blood on her finger! It kept moving around us, so we grabbed our cameras. It was an attack g'hopper too!


It (we) got the attention of the staff and the grasshopper became center of attention. It made its way to another customer... and the waiters took turn trying to pry the darn thing off the guys shirt.


They had the coolest bar stools. Here's Sheri and I in our stools. lol

Chick Magnet

I have heard from good authority that our favorite Food Mooch has kicked off his widow(er) weeds, having made a speedy recovery from the recent passing of his last spouse and is prowling for fresh blood, actively seeking a female replacement. It is at times like this that I value the wedding ring upon my finger as at one time he proclaimed to his esteemed colleagues in maintenance that I was the “prettiest gal at the college.” *retches* My buddy “J” and I practically placed bets on how long it would take him to jump headfirst into the proverbial dating pool and it seems we were eerily close to the mark. According to this reliable source, he’s already found and is pursuing a new honey and to this guy’s utter astonishment, she’s not completely repugnant looking. Both he and another coworker decided to do lunch at her place of employment and reported watching slack-jawed at the considerable hand-holding and hugging display. Her lack of hideousness had them both admitting a serious consideration of her date material possibilities should either be free. (Though I don’t think this is a substantial "bar raise" for them.) Whether she becomes the fourth Mrs. Food Mooch is anyone’s guess but the sheer fact he’s managed to find any female who doesn’t recoil in horror upon meeting his Royal Nastiness just boggles the mind. As has been discussed before, this is the kind of guy that makes people scratch their head in puzzlement as to how he has managed to snag spouse after spouse with alarming regularity. I know they say there is someone for everyone but how has he finagled three someones to bed and wed him? Why are susceptible women drawn like flies to this fly-drawing excuse for a man? It’s not his money as he’s dirt poor. It’s not his looks because he’s repulsive. And he has a rotten temper. I’ve witnessed van door slamming, noisy arguments and loud bellyaching to invisible protagonists much to the consternation of onlookers. And let me enumerate a few more obvious flaws lest we forget:

He’s fat and smelly. He’s retarded. He’s cross-eyed. He picks his nose (and scratches his gigantic ass for all I know) before digging into whatever foodstuffs he can find. (Remember the frosting licking and pecan scarfing incidents?) And he’s been known to pick "delectable" morsels out of the garbage can. He’s not picky about what gender wants to pleasure him. He’s ill-mannered and uncouth.

After much speculation and debate, the only possible explanation any of us can come up with is that he possesses a massive schlong and is dynamite in bed. What else could it possibly be? Of course, that raises the dilemma of how anyone gets past the stench to discover this elusive diamond in the rough. All I know is if he were the last male on earth, I’d turn lesbian before I’d get within a country mile of Mr. Suave and Debonair. Yikes!

I Might Need Two Diet Cokes Today

I had several blog topics on my mind this morning, and I sit down to start typing.... and I can't remember any of them!

I hate it when that happens!

I guess my mind is in overload. I've got too much going on, too many responsibilities and too much to prepare for.

Each morning I check MSN to see what the hot items of the day are and I noticed a link that said "are you depressed?" So of course, I clicked it and took the test. I scored waaaaaaaaay to the right. Deeply Depressed.

I immediately messaged my friend JJ and told him I scored majorly depressed... he said he does too. Every time he takes the test. However, we feel fine. Or, we think we do! We decided that we're fine... it's everyone else that's messed up. While I was at Chaos College he and I took those tests weekly and periodically we'd score so high that we needed to be institutionalized.

Sometimes, I think that wouldnt be a bad thing because then someone would cook and clean for me! I could just stare out my window and think about.... about all the crap I wasn't getting done because I was in depresso detox. Now, that's depressing too.

Maybe my other blog ideas will come back to me...

Toxic Teddybears

Did any of you stay up for the Perseidiuses (yep, I made that word up) performance recently? Every year I vow I will drag myself out of bed and head for the great outdoors only to experience a last minute change of heart and snuggle back under the cozy covers, but this time good intentions prevailed. Not having the excuse of chilly weather or cloud cover, which has been the case in times past, at 4:30 am I sleepily shuffled back and forth between a patio chair and the hard concrete as I spotted approximately 20 fireballs flashing through the sky in their dazzling glory. Conditions were so favorable this year what with clear nights, no moon, and balmy temps that it was well worth the effort. Heck, I may even try for the November Leonids show!

Our Fantasy Football private league is fired up and raring to go. Our creative names run the gamut from sharks to fireballs (a fellow stargazer perhaps?) and ladybugs to marshmallows. If you recall from past years, my mediocre teams have been cursed with the designations Weasels of Destruction and Marauding Meercats but now that I’m over my rodent fixation, I’ve decided to try the Toxic Teddybears. Yeah, I’m sure that will spur them on to greater victory. Our private auction is Sept 1 and I’ve prepared by printing off the Sports Illustrated picks so here’s hoping I make a decent showing this year as I lead my guys to victory. Go Teddybears!

Once again a slithery serpent thought it wise and prudent to snuggle up to our sliding glass door and gaze longingly inside but thankfully he was unable to make his way in and TBC sent him on his merry way. Enough with the snakes already!!!

Rain Rain Go Away...

I didn't think I'd be saying this this summer.... but I'm so happy it rained yesterday and last night! It's stormed here most of the night and given us some much needed rain - even though we had 40 days and 40 nights of Monsoon season in June. Our weather also has been very in tune with what's happening down south. Hurricane Dean. That hurricane will most likely cause us quite a weather change as it's projected to hit Texas with quite a force and when that happens... we get some kickback from it.

Not only am I intrigued with the storm because of what will happen here in Okieland... but we just returned from Cozumel and it's supposed to hit Cozumel/Cancun at a category 4 or 5. It's so sad because the island looked so nice while we were there! They'd gotten it built back up from the huge hurricane years ago and now they are facing it again. I pray the hurricane turns and spares them... or at least lessens in intensity so the damage isn't so severe!

Those thoughts lead me to post a few pics of the beautiful beaches and sunset we saw while in Mexico. It's hard to believe that out of that beautiful sky.... comes a mean-@#$ storm!







We found a remote beach on the southern tip of Cozumel. It was beautiful! White sand, big waves and a little restaurant with a few little shops and a bar. People would be traveling and stop for a few minutes to take a swim and grab a drink...


My sis and I heading to the water...

You Big Boob!

Bein's how i'm preggers and all.... I not only grow in my belly, but the boobage gets bigger too!

I love that for sure! Richard certainly hasn't complained... but this week the whole world has made note of the twins.

Yesterday morning I was asked to a 'meeting' about something that did NOT warrant a meeting. It was something that could have been mentioned in an email... but the guys seemed to enjoy talking to me. One even mentioned that I had a nice top on.

Then, I go to lunch with Richard. I sat across from him jabbering away... while his eyes gazed at my chest. I looked down... looked back at him... he said "I can't help it! They are just there!" ugh

So, i grabbed them and did a little jiggle for him.

Later in the afternoon I stopped to speak with one of my big bosses and while I was talking he'd look at my eyes.... then my left boob, right boob, back to my eyes, left boob, right boob... the entire time I was there!

DANG!

This morning, I head to another location with a tech and while we're there fixing a scanner, the operator gets to chatting with me. I immediately notice that he's having problems finding my eyes... heck he cant even find my face at all. But he has found my boobs. The tech looks at me, looks at him... back to me. He's noticed that the guy is having problems.

After our job is done, we walk into the break room to gather our things and tech says "um, did you notice that the driver had a hard time finding your face!? You need a shirt that says THOSE ARENT MY EYES" HAHAHAH

I hope they stay this way :) I like the big... hehe I should use this time to my advantage.... maybe i can get some things that i've beeen wanting (at work ;)

Color Me Crimson

A newly-hatched academic year kicks off here at Chaos College as faculty hath returned. Following close on their scholarly heels will be the fresh batch of quivering collegians doggedly determined to push their collective noses against the educational grindstone and take their studies seriously. *chuckles* Who am I kidding? Actually they will concentrate on getting wasted and laid, and not necessarily in that order. Things will be frenzied and frantic for the next several weeks, so please bear (rwwrr) with me, mmkay?

Monday night I attempted a French manicure on myself. While it didn’t turn out too horribly, it most definitely looks like the work of a rank amateur. I’m hoping practice makes perfect. Yeah, I've removed it already and am sporting silver talons today.

My exterminating notoriety ("guillotine of death") has expanded to include Cardinal Killer. Yeah, I was driving to town last Sunday and there sat this vibrant male cardinal standing smack in the middle of the road, probably nursing a nasty hangover from the night before, trying to remember how to get home, dreading the inevitable quarrel with the missus regarding his nocturnal whereabouts. Trickling its way through his birdbrained haze came the realization that a vehicle was heading straight for him and he’d better quickly dash out of harm’s way. However, his tiny, feathery synapses weren’t all firing in birdy synchronicity and he flew headlong into the SUV of Death resulting in one colorful, crimson lifeless corpse lying in an ignominious heap on the roadway. Poor guy.

And speaking of red, faculty and staff are gloriously bedecked in our matching ruby Freshman Orientation t-shirt glory (Sveltana is modeling the shirt. That is the back view) topped off with jeans/gauchos/shorts/slacks/hula skirts, etc. Personally, I’m wearing navy blue capris that are giving me a serious wedgie. In less than an hour, a picnic motif meal will be served in the cafeteria for all to enjoy and I for one can’t wait to wolf down this most excellent cuisine. Yeah for Friday!!!

Tulum Ruins

While we were in Mexico, we took a ferry to mainland, rented a car (previous post shows POS) and drove to Tulum to visit the ruins. They sit on the coast and surrounded by the most beautiful beaches!

I have to start off with the best picture of all. Us!!! hehe






This is looking north towards Playa (but you can't see Playa)


Me... pausing to look at Richard... taking a picture of us walking... and it's flippin' hot!

Penis's Have Personality

Richard scored us passes to the Premiere of Superbad, so last night we joined what seemed like 100's of others, to preview the good Superbad.

Security to get in the theatre was more than what we experience at the airport. One at a time (or a couple) they checked cell phones and if you had a recording device, they took your phone, tagged it, and placed it in a big pink bag for you to retrieve after the showing. They searched purses and then once you were past this point, they actually scanned you with a metal detector. We both passed :)

Rich and I anxiously awaited the start of the movie by munching on our popcorn and woofing down a diet coke (we were starving for some dinner!) It began.... penis and va-gay-gay conversations everywhere! This is not a movie for the children! Leave the innocent precious angels at home. It is definitely a movie for those with sick minds (like us) who love movies like Knocked Up, American Pie and Porky's (old school).

Sweet little Evan reminded me of my precious Richard. He totally respected girls and wanted so bad to be good to them and nice and precious! His buddy, Seth, is such a pig. HAHAHAH It was hilarious!

Gym Rat

Our community wellness center here on campus is closed this week for cleaning or something. *shrug* I understand the need to spit shine the facilities before we break open a new semester, but an entire week seems excessive and harsh and makes for too long of a break workout-wise. Needless to say, the regulars (including myself) have indulged in loud, extended grumbling. Not wanting to ax my walk time, I wandered over to the old gym at lunch yesterday and felt like I had entered a parallel universe as so much sand has slipped through the hourglass since I've past through its P.E. doors. As I circled the recently waxed floors, I thought back to days long past. Years ago I had taken Line Dancing for a physical activity. Not thinking straight, I had selected the Early 8 class which meant perspiring profusely while I learned the intricate moves thanks to the sweltering temps of August. I still recall the embarrassment of feeling sweat trickle down my nose as I two-stepped with Scott. Back then the weight area was up the stairs in this long, narrow room. Many were the times I walked on the treadmill as my fellow buds and I either watched soaps or music videos. And years ago, in the hopes of boosting my metabolic rate, I started doing wind sprints in this very gym which resulted in a painful bone spur. After limping around for several months, it finally calmed down but I never again resorted to that dubious method.

When I worked for College Relations, I used to help out with our annual College Night as various colleges and military units cranked up their student wooing to full tilt boogie. The uniformed guys looked particularly dashing as they turned on their rugged charm. We always had a refreshment table set up for these various reps and the time I wore my lovely pink silk dress happened to be the occasion I bit into a cherry tomato which promptly spewed out of my mouth and all over the front of said frock. (Yes, the dry cleaners got the stain out!) Fortunately it was at the end of the evening when most were already homeward bound and my humiliation was kept to a bare minimum. Sure, the new center has state-of-the-art equipment and makes the gym routine easier and more accessible, but periodically it’s soothing and reassuring to revisit an ‘old friend.’ :)

Can't Judge a Book

A few weeks ago I had my annual fix of live, outdoor theatre when I caught Shakespeare in the Park’s rendition of Cyrano de Bergerac. Though technically not a penned by the Bard, it’s from the hand of Edmond Rostand, this comedy/drama came replete with colorful costumes and excellent acting and made for one lively, fun-filled evening. Once again, the locale of this literate outdoor troupe has changed and is now staged at the Myriad Botanical Gardens in the heart of downtown Oklahoma City. While this is truly a lovely setting complete with tiered seats, the constant sound of honking horns, ambulance sirens and landing jets, did try ones concentration. However, Mz Circe sat transfixed and spellbound while the tale of love and bravery wove around each audience member’s soul. We all remember witty Cyrano, don’t we?

Cyrano de Bergerac, guardsman and poet, is cursed with an enormous, bulbous, blossoming beak of a nose. To compensate for his fixed belief that no woman can ever love him on account of this affliction, he has made himself renowned in Paris for his personal bravery and charming verse. Cyrano's beautiful and wealthy cousin, Roxane, is much sought after. When Cyrano receives an urgent message from her, he is encouraged to believe she may actually love him. He finds, however, that she imagines herself in love with the handsome Christian, newly enlisted brother guardsman in Cyrano’s company, and wants Cyrano to bring them together. Putting aside his own love, Cyrano offers his powers of expression to Christian to assist in winning Roxane. Cyrano's eloquence in the many letters signed by Christian's name and the feeling in his voice as he declares his love under Roxane's balcony one dark night, bring about the marriage of Christian and Roxane just minutes before the company is ordered away to the siege of Arras. Though both men are at the front and in great peril, Roxane daily receives a letter signed by Christian. Irresistibly drawn by these letters, she dares to drive through enemy lines to reach her Christian's side. When Christian sees the power that another's letters have had over Roxane he suddenly realizes that it is Cyrano and not himself that she really loves. He insists that Cyrano tell her the truth and leaves the scene. Before Cyrano can divulge the secret, Christian is carried in mortally wounded. After Christian's death Roxane goes to live in a convent and for fifteen years Cyrano visits her there daily. Then one Saturday as he proceeds to his call, an enemy pushes a log from a window causing it to fall onto his head, breaking his skull. He hides his injury from Roxane, but begs to be allowed to read Christian's last letter which she carries always next to her heart. When in the gathering darkness Cyrano reads the letter all the way through as if knowing its contents by heart, Roxane realizes that Cyrano wrote the letters—she has found the soul she was in love with all along. Cyrano removes his hat, revealing his heavily bandaged head. Roxane exclaims that she loves him and that he cannot die.

As darkness enveloped the hushed gathering, Cyrano collapsed, gasping out his final utterance while his beloved Roxane bent over his dying form and gave voice to her belated grief and sorrow. Brimming tears spilled from our eyes as we too joined her in mourning the passing of her true love. *sigh*