Friday, September 14, 2007

Guilty Pleasures

I know you all remember me telling you about my secret shame of watching Dr. 90210, but I stoop even lower than that. My guiltiest pleasure is watching Hef’s GFs in all their bosomy glory strut their very well-endowed stuff in the fluffy reality show, The Girls Next Door. You'll recognize them by the dollar signs they greedily exchanged for irises. Yes, I know it glorifies shallow, superficial appearances without a speck of tangible substance and yes, I feel the need to take a long, cleansing shower after each viewing, and yes, I sense my IQ plummeting much like a meteor hurtling toward earth, but there is something so crassly entertaining about watching this trio of young, nubile bleached-blondes parading around in scanty costumes readying themselves for the next glitzy blowout bash or trying to decide what to buy their 80-something coddled, codger “boyfriend” for Valentine’s Day/his geriatric birthday/Bastille Day. And lest I forget, the Valentine's Day episode featured the dogs, Winnie (a black something or other) and Duke (chihuahua) being squired around the grounds by chauffeur Holly for their 'romantic carriage ride.' Ummm, ok....In my opinion, Holly is the prettiest, Bridget the dumbest (and supposedly the smartest), and though Kendra glams up beautifully with the application of makeup, she's not all that spectacular facewise sans warpaint. The show pretty much flip flops along between these two “intellectual” premises. And though a mindless diversion and though I involuntarily shudder every time the feather-brained bimb, I mean smart, savvy ingĂ©nues give the geezer a peck on his leathery, withered lips, I continue to stare transfixed at the screen as I voyeuristically ponder the unspoken possibilities. Shaggingly speaking, do they do threesomes? Foursomes? Does it go by rotation? Drawing straws? Rock-paper-scissors? Picking a number out of the party hat? Do they occasionally indulge in strictly girl-on-girl action and gleefully lock the aged perv out of the Pleasuredome? And then I wonder what they’ve been willed/gifted/promised to willingly bump uglies with the decrepit King of Hedonism? Pardon me while I switch to the History Channel...

4 comments:

TC said...

ROFL

I love it, Miss Circe.

I always think it's really gross that any of them would actually make it with the geezer. Not because old people shouldn't have sex, but... there is over a 50 year difference in a couple of cases there. That's just wrong.

Kerry said...

Only YOU would think all these things. HAHAHAHHA

I've watched the show a couple of times and I think (obvously) those girls are in it for the money and fame they hope to gain. He is NASTY!

Wombat said...

There's a reason that channel is a word of only one letter, Circe.

Circe said...

TC--I totally agree. It's not that he's older. It's that he is ancient and they are barely dry behind the ears! (weird expression, huh?) And also because we know no 80-yr old man or woman could land a hottie, let alone multiple hotties, unless they were rich and famous.

Ker--exactly.

Wombie--yes, I do realize that...
:)