Thursday, September 10, 2009

Ending in Sad News

I believe this blog has come to an end.

I can't even begin to think about writing here when I shared so much with my writing partner... who is now gone. Circe will be greatly missed and my heart breaks for her. She was so full of life!

I love you Circe! Rest in Peace.

K.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

I'm Not Surprised

Seriously!?!

Another one!?!?

At some point (like way before baby 19) don't people decide they've had enough? Maybe when you're oldest if having a baby and you're gonna be gpa and gma... maybe its time to throw the towel in? I'm just saying... God thinks its ok to use B.C.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Some RAGBRAI pictures

Hairball performed in one of the pass-thru towns. If you ever get the chance... see them. What a great show!


Richard, Me, Sheri and John after we'd finished 7 days of RAGBRAI


Me and Sal SO happy that the week has ended. We successfully rode the 442 miles, dipped our tires and now taking our aching legs back to the bus/Coach. This was the first time i'd ridden with Sal... what a hoot! He's from New York and has that sassy New Yorker attitude. LOVE IT!!!


Our group, including Larry and Troy (our drivers). We wouldn't have made it without those guys driving the bus and Coach every morning to our next overnight town, setting up and getting ready for us when we pedaled into town. Then tearing it all down the next morning and moving to the next town in time to be ready for us when we pedaled in again. They made it all so much easier!!!


One of the many HELL hills.


Our bikes all lined up nice & neat... ready to roll out the next morning.


Me and Mac enjoying the expo!


Our cycling club, Blood, Sweat & Gears, on the morning of the first day of RAGBRAI

Thursday, July 23, 2009

RAGBRAI

We just completed our 5th day of RAGBRAI and I'm happy to report all is well! Everyone on our team (of 12 this year!) is injury free and recovering from all aches and pains from sitting hours on end on that little sliver of a seat and pedaling up one side of the mountains and pedaling even faster down the other side.... to get a head start on the next one! The next two days will be relatively flat in comparison to what we've done the past few days and on the final day we begin to dive downwards... to dip our tire in the river. I'll have pics soon!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Just Cuz

Well, it was one hectic week during cousin Ron's visit. Hectic but enjoyable. Sis and I shared him with his spending most days with us and every night with her clan. We had a cookout, a small dinner party and also treated him to the best steakhouse in town. TBC helped tremendously with the hosting and yes, he did show him where Twister was filmed! We pretty much spoiled him rotten but if any man deserves it, he does. I knew my aunt was a BITCH but after things he told us, I was ready to race to California and cheerfully ring her scrawny worthless little neck myself. How he didn't become a serial killer after her abusive treatment of him during his childhood is beyond me. And while I don't necessarily mean physical abuse, she inflicted enough pain, suffering, and humiliation complete with permanent mental scars to last more than one lifetime. I realize I am hearing his side, but you must understand I have seen her in action throughout the years during visits and heard enough stories from my mom to know these are not exaggerated fabrications. Were that it was. Anywho, for two solid days we doggedly poured through old picture albums that he brought along. Mz MotheroftheYear saved everything. And I do mean everything!!! She even had old grade school report cards and old picture IDs from every company she ever worked for. And enough pics of her to choke a horse. Course, she thought she was a seductive hottie, and while she was attractive, I wouldn't call her a great beauty by any stretch of the imagination. Sheesh! Ron, on the other hand, is one handsome guy. Must take after his dad. *snicker* And that's a whole other can of worms we won't even get into. After all the rectangular perusing, we hit the genealogy packets in our possession and that helped determine who some of the ancient, nameless faces were. Without boring you to total tears, our grandmother's side came over from Denmark in the mid-1800s while our grandfather's side came from Wales in 1659! They were practically on board with the first Pilgrims and/or Puritans. I had no idea the fam went back that far. On my dad's side, I'm clueless in terms of dates but I know they were from England and Germany.

That pretty much describes the highlights of his visit. I think it was 2001 the last time either of us saw him so it had been awhile and he had never come out this way. I guess it's all about the wife's family at his house because except for sis and I, there is NO contact with our other cousins (I think they're in Michigan) and with his being an only child, he feels outnumbered and voiceless. Hopefully, he felt loved and cherished amid his adoring (transplanted) Okie relatives. :) Three cheers for cousins!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Fact

Hooters wings stop tasting good when a man becomes the father...of a daughter!

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

How Now Brown Cow

After many months of the caring and feeding of Boy George (I have no clue why TBC named him that. Does he look like a "Boy George" to you?), we recently had him sent to the er, well, you know and he has morphed into tasty steaks, roasts and hamburger. Yum! Thankfully, I did not get to know him on a personal basis and am able to partake of his bovine goodness with nary a tear. He was an attractive steer--part Texas longhorn and part Mexican longhorn--as you can see in the pic. This was taken not long after we purchased him though I did not snap anymore to show his growth and downright ornyness. And he was quite orny! If you recall, he and I had one run-in last summer when I was on the riding mower in his pasture and he came trotting up to check me out. I was terrified and screamed bloody murder thus sending our neighbors on both sides scurrying out to see if TBC was beating the crap out of me. I think I may have blogged about it. TBC kept telling me to just keep going and Mr Steer would run away. He did NOT. However, he did slowly saunter out of my way but not in a scared manner whatsoever. I continued my mowing but kept a watchful eye on him and never did attempt mowing in his territory again. Anyway, TBC bought him for the sole purpose of future meat in our freezer and frankly my dears, this is Oklahoma and we eat meat out here in the wild west. Circe Carnivore!

My fav cousin, Ron, is coming to visit this weekend from California and sis and I could not be more excited. He will only stay from Sat-Thurs but hopefully it will be a wonderful visit. Two cookouts complete with extra relatives are planned not to mention a boat ride on the lake thanks to "K". He'll also get the Grand Toure of Podunkville though I'm scratching my head what that will entail. There just ain't that much to see 'round these here parts. Oil wells? Flat plains? Um, the place they filmed the movie Twister (which is very close to us)? Guess we'll play that by ear.

Our main bathroom renovation is thankfully 95% complete. It's got a brand new bathtub, tile, walls, paint, floor, window, fixtures, etc. The toilet was replaced not that long ago and for now the vanity was just repainted though that will eventually need replacement. I plan on a beach theme (shock there, eh?) so I just need to pick up a few extra touches. He'll be staying in sis' gorgeous log house so I don't have to gussy up the guest bedroom. I still need to do some major cleaning in the next few days and I'm working on a menu for his gastronomic pleasure. Oh, did I tell you I totally cleaned and rearranged the bedroom? Yeah, Sat morning I was attempting to watch one of my fav shows, Property Ladder, when thanks to pouring rain, lightning and thunder, the satellite dish went out. This prompted me to get off my lazy arse and do something I considered doing months ago. There is alot more room with the changes but it's funny how you can clean something thoroughly and no one but you can really tell the work that went into it. I've also got new drapes ordered from Penneys so it should really look pretty when they arrive.

I would be remiss not to mention July 6th was our BLOGAVERSARY! Funny I remember the date but not the year. I'm thinking it's our 4th or 5th but I'll need a ruling on that from Mz Kerbear.

smooches,
circe

Monday, July 06, 2009

The Gloved One

I have to admit that I was a proud owner of Michael Jackson's Thriller album. I watched his videos over and over on Night Flicks and even cheered on my classmates as the guys moonwalked and tried to dance and move like MJ. Over the years I fell out of such deep like/love for Michael and it became more of fascination. I was fascinated by the way he changed appearances and his odd/freaky sense of style and hair and makeup and girl voice and the "friends" he chose to keep. Just all so odd. Then all the allegations came out. I watched some of the news during that time and kind of kept up with his story...enough to know he was not convicted. Showing up to court in his PJ's was just so freakin' weird!!! Then dancing on the tops of cars. What is up with that!?

Since his death I have become more fascinated with him. His lack of childhood and desire to recreate one for himself; his brothers and sisters; his drive and desire yet he seemed to not have common sense or awareness. I dont know... but its a sad sad story. Its heartbreaking that he seemed like such a kind heart, but just going in an entirely wrong direction. May he rest in peace.

and may his Father STOP seeing all this as a money making opportunity!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

A Dark Heart

awww. How sad! Farrah Fawcett passed away.

Even sadder is that Rosie O'Donnell is going to have a talk show again! A radio show on Sirius XM. I have never been a Rosie fan, but I grew to despise her on The View and if I never see or hear from her again... thats too soon!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Sunday

Happy Fathers Day!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Mutt and Jeff

There is this couple at the gym who absolutely drive me nuts. I detest seeing them walk in the front door. Thank God I am a good 45 minutes into my workout by the time they arrive, so I only have to spend about 15 or 30 minutes scooting around the gym in the opposite direction they are working. This only works if you are NOT upstairs though. If you're upstairs (where all the ab work is done or any floor exercise routines) there is no place to run...except back downstairs.

It never fails every time I go upstairs, these two nimrods come upstairs to do pullups using the steel support beams. Why the heck they can't use the specially designed equipment downstairs purchased for that very reason, is beyond me! They come bee-bopping up the stairs giggling like two little school girls (every morning and its too early to be giggling!). Their love pats and banter make you want to barf. "someone is looking pumped this morning" or "give me your all... go!" GAG! Even worse... its an old geezer... about middle 50's and an emotionally weak and def lacking in personality mid to late 40's dude. Yeah, they are both guys

This morning, I was leaving (OH THANKS HEAVENS BEFORE THEY GOT THERE) to see a ginormous Ford F-350 pull up next to my vehicle. Well try to pull up, back out, try to pull in, back out, try again, etc. Cram that dang thing into a spot the size of a Mini just so he could get a closer parking spot (HELLO! you're going to the gym!) Who opens the door!? Old Geezer. What a doofus. I saw his butt buddy inside so Geezer was late for his sweat session.

Now, if you're going to they gym... why the heck must you battle to park so close? Why can't you just freakin' walk!!! Park that thing in BFE where there is room! I'm just saying.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Dear Mother Nature,

Just what have you got against poor, defenseless Kansas? For countless evenings, I have checked the weather and every single time I view the radar map, Kansas is getting severely pounded by hail, wind, tornados, and pestilence. It's like they never catch a break! Night after night its 'head for the cellar' time for its weather weary residents. As I type, there are no less than three tornado watch boxes which pretty much covers the entire Sunflower State and one of them dips waaaaaay down into Oklahoma's (and Texas') Panhandle. I realize this is Tornado Alley and its late spring but just what kind of dumbass, bone-headed stunt did flat, boring, rectangular Kansas pull to deserve this repeated ass-kicking? You can tell me. I can keep a secret. ; )

your friend,
circe

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Catching My Breath

Yeah, yeah, I’ve been bad about posting and I humbly apologize. Summer has kicked into full swing and health problems or no, it means busy busy busy! Treatment kicked my butt this past week so I haven’t felt real whoop but I’m coming around and should feel better for the next couple weeks. In the meantime, last weekend I attended Relay for Life on Friday evening and then an all out anniversary bash on Saturday for my sweet niece and her absent hubby. Here’s a pic of the cake her talented mom-in-law made. Half was orange cake and half strawberry and all of it was delicious. Needless to say, I was pooped by the end of the fete.

This whole week has been crazy beginning Monday morning with TBC finally going under the knife and getting his rotator cuff operated on. He's needed to have this done for ages. I wanted to outfit the cats (not that they were in any way helpful) in nurse’s uniforms but settled for a hankie wrapped around their fuzzy little heads. Stubbly looks more like a chef than charitable healer and BW doesn't look all that happy in his new role. I didn’t even attempt to tackle The Witch Queen, Spikey, for her prerequisite headdress.

Between TBC’s understandable crankiness and my undertheweatherness, it’s been pretty chaotic in Circeland. I finally rallied somewhat yesterday enough to make it to Podunkville’s annual Draggin Grand. Our group staked out our usual corner and watched the wheels go round and round. Surprisingly, I didn’t partake of my usual refreshing repast from my favorite nippy bottle but stuck to soft beverages therefore averting the inevitable brazen flashing and flirty ass-wiggling at the startled drivers. I’m KIDDING! Mz Circe would never behave in such an improper and flagrantly unsuitable manner. *takes ladylike sip of brewed English tea*

Sis, hub, TBC and I had tickets to see the Eagles cover band, Hotel California, following the car promenade but since TBC was not up to all the festivities and stayed home, I recruited “S” to be my date for the show. Though they looked rode hard and put up wet, (I imagine the real Eagles do too) the group sang and played with remarkable likeness and the colorful lighting used was first rate. My only complaint (and I’ve remarked on this problem before) is Podunkville just doesn’t know how to let their hair down and get up and BOOGIE. Come on, people! Beer was prominently for sale (admittedly, pedestrian Bud and Bud Light), so open those pinched wallets, down a few (bunch) and let your thinning, graying hair down! Let’s par-tee! *sigh* Anywho, I’d definitely go see them again but a livelier bunch of fellow concertgoers would be much appreciated. Must I make my own bracing hooch and generously dole it out to get some positive results? Okay then...

So today is TBC’s company picnic and he was to receive a service pin but considering its several hours drive away and TBC’s physical status remains ouchy, we are not attending. And you know those wild hellions will be a-partying hearty. Que sera sera.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Just Kate

I was in the grocery store the other day and on the front of every trash magazine was Jon and/or Kate Gosselin. Their (truth or not) story is everywhere and it seems to only be getting worse. Then today (it got worse) there are pics of Kate frolicking on the beach in a bikini... now "they" are making that a big deal.

So, I had this horrid thought. Playboy will make an offer!!! You watch. She's so damn greedy she'll probably take them up on the offer and pose. *gag* Who's worse? Octo-mom or Kate!? She should def be October issue... Halloween... the month of evil people. HA

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Show Me the Muscle!



Congratulations to my Bro-N-Law for placing 3rd in his first ever Fitness/Bodybuilding competition!!! That is fantastic!

Not only did I get to watch John compete at the 2009 NPC Oklahoma Bodybuilding, Fitness, Figure and Bikini Championships in Tulsa last night, but several people that workout at my gym plus one of our trainers. Sal looked good!

The competition wasn't the only thing to be watching... there was some serious muscle in the audience and I saw a couple of professionals that I see in Flex and Muscle and Fitness magazines. One of my POWER instructors sat in front of me and we jabbered to catch up on the latest gym gossip and I swear that Kristen's husband was on stage competing. I never did find her... but I know that was him. She teaches spin at my gym. OKC rocked the show!



I guess here in a few months we'll find out if we will be doing this all again! What fun!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Limp Wangers

ROFLMAO!

According to Mens Health magazine, Tulsa, OK ranks #100, one of the Limpest cities. More men in Tulsa need a little help with their willies. Yep...

#1 was Boston, MA. The hardest :)

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Drop Kate

I finally watched (fast forward all the boring crap and watch all the important parts where they fight) Jon & Kate Plus 8 season opener. I'm still convinced she's a complete bitch and now, more than ever, i'm convinced they are officially seperated if not divorced. Would not surprise me in the least if it comes out later that they tried to cover it all up and hold it together just to be able to have a dramatic Season 5.

She can't stand to look at him and he seems completely "let go" of her BS. It rolls off him like no other... he's checked out. I don't blame him!

I'd stopped watching the show a long time ago and happened to catch one episode last season and noticed alot of changes; they turned away from each other while in the interview chair, she'd started tanning and lost alot of weight, etc. THEN it started coming out there was trouble in paradise... so I started recording it and fast forwarding all the cutsie crap and watching the interviews. Yeah, they have been faking it for a while.

Jon is a nice guy. Poor thing.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Cheers

Bone asked me about visiting Cheers while we were in Boston. We visited both! The orginal one that inspired the tv show has several floors, each with a bar and one with a large dining area. The top floor bar is set up like you're on the set. Its pretty fun! The bartender was awesome and hooked us up with some good drinks. From the look of the gang that night, its a popular local hangout. Not real touristy.


This is outside the replica Cheers thats located downtown in the Market area. It was built to appear like the Cheers you see on TV.


Me going upstairs to another bar area. The top floor bar was set up like the show and they'd even put up all the production equipment. Spotlights, mics, etc.


Outside the Original Cheers that inspired the show.


Richard with the gang!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Driving Rules Bostonian Style

I've been talking with a friend of mine who just happened to have lived in Boston several years ago. He worked downtown, not too far from Fenway Park, so he's very well aware of how hellacious the traffic can be. He sent me this:

Basic rules for driving in Boston

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes, everything you've heard about driving in Boston is true. If you're from some mild-mannered place like Nebraska, just turn around now - or stick to cabs and the subway!
Some rules:

To obtain a general idea of how to drive in Boston, go to a Celtics game and carefully watch the fast break. Then get behind the wheel of your car and practice it.
Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.
When in doubt, accelerate.
Very generally speaking, the intransigence of the Boston driveris directly proportional to the expense of his American-made car, and inversely proportional to the expense of his foreign-made car. But in applying this formula, bear in mind that they are all more or less intransigent.
In the long run, parking your car in a lot is always cheaper than parking it at a meter.
Drivers whose cars sport "I Brake For Animals" bumper stickers may brake for animals, but they may not brake for you. Watch it.
Never drive behind a person whose head doesn't reach the top of the steering wheel.
Teenage drivers believe they are immortal. Don't yield to the temptation to teach them otherwise.
Taxicabs should always have the right of way, unless you are bent on suicide.
Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.
The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.
Learn to swerve abruptly. Boston is the home of slalom driving, thanks to the Registry of Motor Vehicles, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
Steer clear of people with antinuclear bumper stickers pasted on their cars. They are interested in preserving mankind, which is admirable. But they are not necessarily interested in preserving you, or themselves, for that matter. They have more important things to think about.
Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.
Double-park in the North End of Boston, unless triple-parking is available.
Always look both ways when running a red light.
While it is possible to fit a 15-foot car into a 15-foot parking space, it is seldom possible to fit a 16-foot car into a 15-foot parking space. Sad but true.
There is no such thing as a short cut during rush-hour traffic in Boston.
It is traditional in Boston to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.
Never put your faith in signs that purport to provide directions. They are put there to confuse people who don't know their way around the city.
Use extreme caution when pulling into breakdown lanes. Breakdown lanes are not for breaking down, but for speeding, especially during rush hour.
Never use directional signals, since they only confound and distract other Boston drivers, who are not used to them.
Similarly, never attempt to give hand signals, Boston drivers, unused to such courtesies, will think you are waving them on to pass you.
The yellow light is not, as commonly supposed outside the Boston area, a signal to slow down. It is a warning to speed up and get through the intersection before the light turns red.
Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
In making a left turn from the right lane, employ the element of surprise. That is, do it as suddenly as possible, so as to stun other drivers.
Speed limits are arbitrary figures posted only to make you feel guilty.
Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to insure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible.
Remember that the goal of every Boston driver is to get there first by whatever means necessary.
Above all, keep moving.

And good luck. You'll need it.


It's all so true!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Return of the Bostonians

Have you ever had SO much on your mind and so many posts going through your head... that you can't write about any of it? I think its mental overload... and i'm having it.

We just got back from Boston. Or, Bahston as they say, and it was amazing! The traffic is treacherous. Once we made it to our newly kabillion dollar remodeled hotel, we had the valet take the car and told him we didn't want to see it again until we left for the airport! We'll walk. It is a "walking city", isnt it!? We walked all the way from the North to the South and walked figure 8's from East to West. What i'm saying is... we covered it all. Twice!

My favorite part was the Boston Common. Absolutely beautiful! People were out for a run or walking the dog, painting pictures, taking the school kids on outings. Everyone is so laid back and relaxed. Loved it!

I also had a great time at the RedSox game. Now that is a ballpark! What you don't see from looking at the grandstands, is the city underneath. It is literally like a whole other world taking place at your feet. Food and drink stands, vendors selling shirts and hats and any other kind of souvenir you can think of. It's crazy! Fun kind of crazy though.











Monday, May 11, 2009

Scentsational

After looking high and low, I found some Asian-inspired spa treatment items called Ming Palace (on clearance) at Pier One and after adding some river pebbles and an exotic Asian basket, put together a lovely decorative bathroom accessory shown here. This is strictly for looks but I’m now wishing I had bought duplicates because the temptation to use them is driving me crazy! (Ok, temptation got the better of me and I tried the salt scrub last night; yes, it felt wonderful). Things are coming together slowly in my quest for Oriental items but I’m taking it in stride. I even have a second decorating project soon to start. Our ‘blue’ bathroom is being totally redone and I’m thinking a beach theme would look stunning in there. Can you tell I’m not a native Okie? *lol* I practically have a shrine to Cape Hatteras lighthouse in the living room, my study is even more so, and now the blue bathroom will change to beach scenes, preferably OBX, with shell accessories. The guest bedroom is mostly nautical and swerving in a diametrically opposite direction is the master bedroom—a serene Asian hideaway meant to replenish and restore the soul.

To save a little cash, I recently purchased my depleted scented smoothing requirements at Wally World. They actually have a pretty decent selection from which I added these to my collection: Warm Sunshine body creme, Vanilla Buttercream body creme, Vanilla Raspberry body lotion (a bigger version; the last one was purse size.) Ah Vanilla and I, a match made in heaven! Also, Sweet Petals body creme, and a potent trio (kinda like the Charlie’s Angels of the smelly potion set) consisting of body wash, body lotion, body mist, and a handy dandy cute little yellow net sponge smelling of Papaya and Orange Blossom. Can’t wait till TBC gets a whiff of that one. I should be set for a few months now. ; )

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Pink Sucks Donkey Balls

HAHAHAHAHA Some people are just idiots. HAHAHAHA

Monday, May 04, 2009

Lo(wes) & Behold

Besides busily organizing my vast eclectic collection of personally burned fav music CDs, these past few weeks I've spent sprucing up the great outdoors, particularly the patio area and I have spent an inordinate amount of time at our friendly neighborhood Lowes. Having never had the time to take much of an interest in yard work, I've really made up for it by picking out a few things to make the place prettier. In no particular order of purchase there are now Azalea bushes in several colors adjacent to a wood fence near the patio, four more rose bushes displaying the colors of yellow, medium pink, and two lovely pale pinks. We won’t even get into how I’ve neglected my original three (a climbing red, a climbing pink, and a peachy-coral stunner) what with my never bothering to prune, water or take basic rose care needs. I’m a notoriously bad rosebush mother. However, I attempted some much needed trimming and am hoping for a rallying in their thorny ranks. TBC fixed the decrepit twin flower beds in the front yard and I purchased gorgeous Butterfly Blue Pincushion perennials to add a pop of much needed color. Sis gave me a diminutive walnut tree and I promptly plopped him in one the many new planters I bought. He joins several baby maple trees also enjoying potted glory. Lord knows I need yet another maple tree. I have one in the bedroom which I am reaaaally hoping is a red maple and not another silver maple that we have all over the freeking place. Did I tell you TBC surprised me with two real palms which now grace the back entryway next to the sliding glass doors and in front of a window in the bedroom? They are doing great! I had planned to purchase two fake trees but the price was prohibitive. These twin babies set us back a whopping 12 bucks apiece. Quite a difference as the pseudo palms were over $65. I thought our tree shopping was over for this season but thanks to all the rain we’ve had this week and the generous gardening gods, TBC surprised me and brought home a Globe Willow tree yesterday. It was originally $23 and he got it for $6. Alrighty then. We remain unsure as to its outdoor placement so for the moment it's patiently perched near the entrance. I dare not forget to mention the herbs and assorted plants that join our growing leafy family—a small Schefflera, a tasteful mix of exotic plants in an Asian looking (couldn't resist) planter, sage, chives and parsley. TBC has several others he transplanted to the garden but mine are playing lookout on the kitchen windowsill and bistro table.

In addition to living green goodness, I’m a sucker for solar lights and we moved the four ground ones from standing point around the patio to lighting the short brick walkway TBC built leading to the wine/storm cellar. I also wanted some tall ones so I purchased a shepherds rod with three arms and another four ground luminary set from which I snagged three to hang on the patio rod and transformed the short poles into one long pole and hung the last light on it and stuck it next to a maple tree in front much to the Butterfly Blue Pincushions delight. To make all the lovely changes even closer to perfection, I still require a firepit, gazing ball, Japanese lanterns and new patio furniture. Yeah, I’ve been busy. ;)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

100 Unintentionally Hilarious Spam Subject Lines | Cracked.com

If you want a perfect demonstration of the '1,000 typing monkeys accidentally creating a masterpiece' phenomenon, look no further than your spam subject lines.



The jumbled mash of nonsense spam...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

shhhhh....

Today... I have a secret!!! I can't share it until later but C is gonna be so excited!!!

Monday, April 13, 2009

And Baby Makes 19... 20....21...

I guess it was only a matter of time...

The Duggar's are going to become grandparents plus it seems the new parents-to-be are adopting the ol "leave the birthin babies up to God" attitude.

Oh good grief. I'm sure they are all such very nice people... but enough is enough! God gave us brains for a reason and he gave us medical intervention for a reason. To be used! Pop a pill girl. Tell new hubby 3 or 4 is your max! Kids need their parents, not a buddy system where you're raised primarily by an older sibling. Thats just wrong.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Steve-Omania!

I am so impressed with Steve-O on Dancing with the Stars. Have y'all been watching? He and Lacey haven't scored big, but he's been sticking with it and really trying. Tonights dance... well I would have never guessed he had THAT in him! It was not goofy or stupid like Jackass. He was graceful and precise and all those things a ballroom dancer must be. He cleans up pretty good!!!

I hope they go far...

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Not Billy, but Holly

What the heck is up with Holly Madison!?!?

It's no big secret that I think Shawn Johnson is as cute as they come... so for the first time ever I've been watching Dancing with the Stars. Holly is also on this seasons show... complete with her hallow head and zero personality.

I watched her in Girls Next Door and she seemed more intelligent and aware. Until the last few episodes (months) of their run. You could tell when she mentally had checked out of her relationship with Hef and really wanted the show just to hurry and end. She never smiled and rarely spoke. She had this bitchy empty look.

I see now.. that's her! On DWTS last night she took stabs at herself and talked about how she deserved nothing and thought her score was too high (high!??! you got like 12 out of 30!!) She never smiled and seemed on the edge of tears each time the camera even swung her way. Her dance was less than enthusiastic. You can obviously tell she's never exercised a day in her life. She acted like it might kill her if she moved too quickly or broke a sweat. What is her deal!? I dont remember this Holly a few years back. Old age creeping in or what?!?! She's only like 28 or something. With that sparkling personality...she's going to starve.

Now, Bridget and Kendra on the other hand... those girls got sparkle! hehehe

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Skank College

At least seven commercials for various alternates to pursuing a traditional college career are run during the daytime TV judge shows. One of the most annoying is Everett Institute where the young gangbanger looking guy tries to shame the viewer into getting his/her lazy arse off the couch, showing some initiative dammit, and making that call! Rather than dashing to the phone, I just want to throw a frosty beverage at him as the commercial ends and he disgustedly walks away. He knows deep down in his heart that we stubborn sloths ain't gonna take his advice...

But the one I most enjoy making fun of is what I affectionately refer to as Skank College aka Career Point Institute. Their commercials run ALL the frickin time and their biggest selling point is their daycare facilities. This place seems to cater to the single gals with multiple children thanks to what I can only assume was their former wild hussy ways. Let’s discuss the gals they use to sell their school. My personal favs were a few earlier ones that ran where the very pretty fluffhead sweetly informed us she had two kids and was fresh out of high school. Say that again? How did this airhead ever manage to attend classes let alone graduate what with morning sickness, swollen feet, and endless hospital stays while popping kids out every semester? Another freshfaced, befreckled pup with messy, long reddish hair who didn’t look a day over 12 also blithely informed us she had children (plural) and couldn’t exactly haul them to a regular college, could she? She was thrilled beyond words that this joint offered daycare. They quit running these ads but the newer ones aren’t much better. They have slightly upgraded the females used to showcase their institute but they just had to keep one scuzzball to appeal to their target audience. She has messy blonde hair, obvious chin zits (all the others have had clear skin, by golly) and two adorable kiddos shown having a blast at the daycare center. Geez. Now I’ll all for learning skills that will help one make a better life for themselves and their children but IMHO they need to feature some gals that put forth a more positive personal image and turn the skank level down a few notches. Just sayin.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Come HIther

Well, I was feeling a little sassy tonight and had (still do) alot of pinned up energy. I haven't been able to hit the gym in a week because i've been hackin up lungs with this bronchitis! Anyways, the phone rang and some sweet, come F me voice ask for Mr. Kerry. uh huh...

Me: He's unavailable right now. Can I take a message?

Come F me: Is this Mrs Kerry? Can I talk with you instead.

Me thinking: Well hell ya! You better start talking you sweet little come F me voice!

Come F me: This is Suzie Q with blah blah college (his alma mater) and we're doing annual tuition donation drive for new students trying to help new enrollees with expenses and we see that Mr Kerry has donated in the past and we'd like to see if he would like to give this year.

Me: HE HAS!?!? I didn't know we were donating!?!?

I can hear the silence. lol She pauses, obviously not sure if she is in trouble or if Mr Kerry is in trouble or how to approach this.

Come F me: Yes, um would YOU like to donate?

Me: I really think its best if we talk to Mr Kerry first and see how he'd like to handle this. I wasn't aware of any donations but that doesn't mean anything and so I'd like to talk to him first.

She's still using her sexy Come F me voice but in a much more cautious tone.

Come F me: I can do this for you. I can send you a donation postcard and there is absolutely no obligation. You can talk to him about it and make a donation if you'd like. There is no obligation (got it the first time) and if you choose not to donate then simply throw it away. Would that be ok?

Of course its ok. *giggle* I seriously didn't know he'd donated and for all I know it was eons ago and unless it dipped into my shopping fund, I really don't care. UNLESS he didn't turn it in as a deduction on our taxes. THEN he's in trubble!

She sounded about 14.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Poor Little Guy

Prayers for Stellan


A friend of mine sent me the link to this blog and I got to reading. She has the most precious baby... who is so sick. He's a cutie patootie and if I could have one wish come true... I'd wish that all children were sick-free! It's just so sad when such a little tyke has to suffer.

*kisses* to him

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

MeMeMe

Borrowed from Bone’s blog who borrowed it from someone else:

I am...trying to stay optimistic and positive though it’s not always easy.
I think...entirely too much and tie myself up in knots.
I know...all the characters in the Star Wars novels but some better than others. Sad, isn’t it? I love Grand Admiral Thrawn. Something about intelligence, immense power, and unusual blue skin makes for a complete turn-on.
I want...to feel normal again and I’m getting there.
I have...friends, family and a shared blog. Sounds good to me.
I wish...All of us got three do-overs in life. The changes I would make! If wishes were horses…
I hate...mooches, users, conflict, deceit.
I miss...traveling. Hopefully this is a temporary situation because I am not finished visiting resorts on tropical beaches, OBX, or my hometown.
I fear...pain and suffering.
I feel...hope mixed with a humbling dose of reality.
I hear...my laptop humming, an occasional car go by and wishing I’d hear the train whistle in the distance. Have I told you lately how much I love trains? Short of an actual train running through my backyard, I’d settle for real train tracks just for the illusion.
I smell...like Skunk’s Ass. Well, I have been using Mango Mandarin on my hands tonight and I’m trying to remember which body wash I used last.
I regret...quite a bit from the past. Foolish things I’ve done. Being more passive than I should have been. Not taking enough chances. How long do you want this list?
I love...organizing things. Have you seen my closet? Totally organized with clothes in rotation so items aren’t overlooked or worn repeatedly. And let’s not forget the toenail polish colors I have lined up for each month of the year. Seriously. I’m a tad compulsive about a few things and I do get caught up in minutia but I love details and working things out in advance so life runs ohsomuch smoother.
I care...about a lot of things. I’m a softie inside and I truly hate hurting anyone’s feelings though you can’t always tell it in my posts. And I’m an excellent empathizer.
I always...make lists and write in my planner.
I am not...a fly by the seat of the pants person. I want planning and organization thank you! And I’m not creative and I wish I thought out of the box more.
I believe...in being thankful for each day of life.
I dance...in the privacy of my room when a song is playing that compels me to jump up and boogie. And I’m a constant toe-tapper. If there is a song on anywhere with a compelling beat, I’m wriggling in my chair.
I sing...along with songs but though I can carry a tune I have very little range.
I write...because I enjoy it. The downside to blogging is a lot that happens becomes possible blog fodder. I’m forever thinking of topics in my head for future use. Few are exempt so beware all who cross our paths. :)
I win...at spelling. And writing essays.
I lose...my temper quickly but I’m over it just as quickly.
I never...take bubble baths anymore as I prefer hot showers.
I listen...fairly well though there is room for improvement.
I can usually be found...with my nose in a book. Or on the computer.
I am scared of...mice, not that I’ve seen any in the house lately. And tornados. We just had a tornado watch again last night till midnight.
I read...all the time. I have at least two or three books going at once. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a large pile of books lined up for future perusal.
I forget...a lot. Sometimes that’s a good thing.
I just...sneezed. It’s that time of year.
I am happy about...warmer weather (minus tornados) though I really did want a nice big snowstorm this winter and didn’t get it. Our blog buddies. You are all very special to us and we love you.

smooches,
circe

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Deep Thoughts

Women are like phones:
They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.
But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Skunk Butt

I always have a ton of hand creams/body lotions/body washes to choose from and in a dazzling array of smells. I know I've previously mentioned the heady feeling I experience entering the 'Heavenly Smells' store (Bath & Body Works). Anyway, some of my current scents purchased at various stores are Japanese Cherry Blossom, Winter Candy Apple (almost gone), Milk & Honey, Vanilla Raspberry, Vanilla Peach, Vanilla Honey (I'm detecting a pattern here), and last but not least Mango Mandarin. TBC has singled out this particularly pungent one and dubbed it Skunk's Ass. Yes, he feels this scent is extremely offensive and though it was a gift, I like it just fine and will continue to apply it when needed. Ha! How he knows what a skunk's behind smells like is beyond me but apparently it's quite unpleasant. Fortunately it's about 3/4ths gone and since most bottles are getting low, I'm feeling a strong urge to pop into our local B&BW and snag a few spring scents!

TBC's brother and wife drove up from Texas and spent this past weekend with us. I'm always at ease when they stay with us as we are so comfortable with them. "B" is a funny, congenial guy who loves to gently poke fun at me and I give it right back in return. "R" is my very chatty sis-in-law and though listening to nonstop talking and minute details ad nauseam is hard on the ears, I love her dearly and wouldn't change her for all the tea in China. Their youngest daughter lives up here and her and her lazy ass husband have just moved back in with his parents as he lost his job and they couldn't afford their cute little apt. Now don't get me wrong, I love my niece and he's a nice enough guy but that whole fam is well-known for their laid back ways so back on the teat it is. They also spent Friday night with us and this worked out perfectly as mom and daughter had a marathon chatfest while I retired to the bedroom to rest (play computer Solitaire and listen to music). We had quite a bit of company for dinner both nights and if you know me, I abhor playing hostess to hordes of guests, fam or not. Fortunately, I was totally laid back about it and TBC did the brunt of the culinary (spaghetti, salad, garlic bread, and for dessert, Girl Scout cookies!) chores. Ok, he did it all Friday night and Saturday night was a nice mix of food and drink brought by the guests making for a delicious buffet. Sis brought a bottle of tasty Merlot and her and I pretty much polished that off as it was "too dry" for the rest of the peasants. Usually B and R stay until Monday morning but they hightailed it back across the border on Sunday and though I washed alot of bedding that day, the nicest part is that they are always welcome to grace Chez Circe whenever we get the call announcing they are heading out for a little trip back north.

Yesterday I hit a few stores as I was feeling pretty good and the weather was so accommodating. First up was Hobby Lobby to check out picture frames. I know for a second there you were thinking I have morphed into Mz Arts & Crafts but you are so wrong, my pet. I don't have a crafty bone in my body and doubt I ever will. I really wish I had some decorating sense and style but I tend to be overwhelmed and clueless though I am hoping all those tips and tricks on shows I watch on TV will eventually sink in. And a gay male friend wouldn't hurt. Craft and decorating impaired am I. Anywho, I have several paintings that are in dire need of frames and have been for ages. I am finally going to take matters in hand and just DO IT. The most needed are 2 Japanese prints whose glass cracked during some move in the distant past. I am hoping to turn Boudoir Circe into a tasteful hideaway of supreme Asian serenity. (And no Grant, this is not due to your Bunny Obsession). I also have a beautiful picture of my particular fixation; Cape Hatteras lighthouse. I bought this back on one our many trips to OBX and have yet to hang it. Finally, there is a canvas-backed tropical beach scene purchased in the DR back in '05 that nags me to display him forgodssakes! I ended up not buying anything yet as they all need customizing but at least its in the works. Walgreens was next as I was not up for Wallyworld and I grabbed a few cosmetic items and cards. After a quick bite to eat at Wendys, (have you tried their fish sandwich? I LOVE IT!) I headed to another fav sanctuary of mine, the LIBRARY. Once a bookworm, always a bookworm. Of course I had forgot my card but they let me borrow four tomes instead of the six I started with and I happily traipsed back to the car. Good times!

Luck O' the Leprechaun

Happy St Patty's Day!

I was sitting here thinking about a quiz I took a few weeks ago. It was one of those email things I think... and one of the questions was 'whats your favorite holiday'. I had the hardest time deciding on my favorite holiday because it used to be Christmas... until the past few years and now I hate Christmas. I hate how stressful it is and the demands that people put on you to give and gift and party and donate, and get here and get there, etc etc. Its too much and too long and following Thanksgiving and New Years is shortly thereafter.

I don't think I have a favorite holiday. Until today. I realized that I really love St Patty's Day. It's just a fun little day where we sport something green. If you're a beer lover, you can join the festivities downtown or any sports bar really, and drink the green beer. How fun! It's just a fun, lighthearted, holiday. Love it! How about an appletini. That's green. Margarita's can be green. I guess we can make anything green. We should have had green eggs and ham for breakfast!

Green is my favorite color, so I'm declaring St Patty's Day my favorite holiday!

Did you know:
The leprechaun is related to the clurichaun and the far darrig in that he is a solitary creature. Some writers even go as far as to substitute these second two less well-known spirits for the leprechaun in stories or tales to reach a wider audience. The clurichaun is considered by some to be merely a leprechaun on a drinking spree

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Randomosity

I totally forgot to watch Sober House last Thursday night but I caught up when it ran again on Friday evening. It looks like I guessed incorrectly and Mary managed to dodge the alcohol bullet at Swingfest, however, previews for the season finale appear to show our fav smiling repeater Steve as blowing it once again to finish things off on a 'high' note. Hehehe

Yes, I cried for the season finale of The Girls Next Door. While I didn’t burst into uncontrolled sobs, I did get teary-eyed when they were all in the room together saying how much they’d miss each other. I still haven’t figured out who Girl No. 3 is. I need to research that. And didn’t you think the twins were less than congratulatory in the episode where the gals got their scuba diving certificates and everyone on the boat was smiling but one twin had an insincere half-smile on her face and the other just looked poker-faced and downright snotty? Beotches..

Another tearful moment recently experienced was reading this headline regarding John C. Odom’s death. I just felt so bad for all the flack he must have caught for this ridiculous trade and we have to imagine that though he put on a brave face, this cut him to the core and terribly hurt his feelings. I hope all the guilty parties that made fun and never let him forget this embarrassment are experiencing more than a twinge of conscience. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we bestowed on our fellowman the dignity we all deserve and not play a possible part in their sad demise? After all, when you get right down to it, be it mental or physical (or both) we are all "walking wounded" whether others are aware of our trials on not. *group hug*

Yet another addiction. I am madly in love with Yoplait Whips. Their sweet, moussey, fluffy yogurty goodness just drives me wild with gastronomic desire. And all the flavors are divine. I was partial to Key Lime Pie but damn if they aren’t all wonderful! They even offer a chocolate one. And there is just no way to eat one at a time. I always wolf down two, and later in the day I’ll grab yet another. Good for you and delicious; can't beat that with a stick.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Peace, Love and Dance

I think i've developed a crush on Shawn Johnson! You know her... the cutest little U.S. Gymnastics Olympian ever! She never stops smiling. All during the olympics I tuned in to watch her faithfully. Before the games, i didnt know who she was. This is where I met and fell into deep like with her. Her smile is addictive and contagious. She's the cutest thing ever and I told C that he could bring her home to mom. I approve! She'd be a great girlfriend. She seems so happy and so appreciative and good-natured. Obviously a hard worker.

Last night I saw her dance on Dancing with the Stars and she rocked! Her legs are awesome and again her smile just kept beaming. I want C to hook up with her. I think she's the greatest thing since french toast!

Speaking of French Toast... what the heck happened to Farrah on Rock of Love!? She's gone!!! She'd say "what the French!?" and then it became "what the French Toast!?" lol

Friday, March 06, 2009

Cuz That's How We Roll

Yeah, we may not be one of his J-bunnies, but we love the Grantster anyway. ; )

I Sensed It!!

I KNEW IT!!! Did I NOT just post a few days ago about how crappy she looked and how she turns away from Jon in the show.??? There IS trouble. I sensed it!! It was obvious... and now Perez Hilton blogs it! Read on..


In case you haven't head of Jon and Kate Gosselin, they're the stars of TLC's most popular "reality" show, Jon & Kate Plus 8. The couple has one set of twins and one set of sextuplets.

John is the laid-back, quiet, pushover husband, while Kate is the bitchy, controlling, pain-in-the-ass wife. And that's putting it nicely.

Although the couple seem to have a "loving" relationship on the show, that might not really be the case when the cameras are off.

Jon said about filming the show that, “We’re having a good time — a blast," however it looks like he might have been embellishing a bit.

In Touch Weekly is reporting that Jon is spending increasing amounts of time in Huntingdon, Pa., near where his mom lives, three hours away from the home he shares with Kate and their eight children.

And, on February 6th, Jon showed up to a Juniata College house party.

WTF??????

“He walked in with two girls he met at Mimi’s bar,” senior Evan Heisman tells In Touch. “It was so cool.” According to witnesses, Jon played beer pong with some girls on the volleyball team and then joined a group of students who headed to Memories bar for a nightcap. “We were talking and chilling,” reveals Heisman. Jon returned to Memories the next evening. “He was obliterated,” says Pott. “Juniata girls were flirting with him and he was loving it and having a great time.” “We might be getting a divorce,” Chloe Pott, a junior at Juniata College, heard Jon tell her friend at Memories bar on February 7.

Kate is gonna lose her shit!

Wonder if they'll mention any of this on their "reality" show, soon to be titled Jon Plus 8 Minus Kate.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Let's Twist Again

I found this priceless game several posts back on Monty’s The Daily Bitch site and laughed my head off. I still remember the time I was driving home from work a few years ago and there were storm spotters at regular intervals stopped all along the highway gazing eastward. I nervously thought, “This can’t be good.” The kicker was when I arrived home and there was a spotter truck right in front of my house!!! We would be hosting a small dinner party that evening and this turn of events made for some anxious dinner conversation around the table. Though I periodically ran outside to check the sky and was standing in the front yard when the wall cloud passed right over us, we never did have to head for the cellar and the evening concluded without injury.

Before we let the games begin, I must preface this by saying I am unable to receive Oklahoma City TV stations on our satellite dish because I live across a county line that divides us as to what are considered “local stations” thus throwing us into the Tulsa viewing area. While I like Tulsa just fine, I detest their screwed up idea of a weather map in the lower right hand corner of the screen. It is the funkiest shape ever (I need to get a pic of that and show you--it is worthless) and only shows preshus Tulsa and a few surrounding counties. This leaves my unnamed town stranded in the far left corner oblivious to vicious, bulging, reddish-hued fronts baring down on poor, pitiful us much like this massive dick threatening my home state and part of PA.

In honor of this twister intensive state, let’s prepare to break out the annual GARY ENGLAND DRINKING GAME! If you have ever lived in Oklahoma this game will make perfect sense to you or even if you’ve paid us a visit especially in April, May, or June, this will make perfect sense. Have fun!

Pregame


1. Everyone selects a storm chaser other than Val Castor. (Val lives in Stillwater and Gary talks to him CONSTANTLY.) Every time Gary talks to your storm chaser, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your storm chaser. Take four drinks if your storm chaser says "tornado on the ground!"

2. Everyone selects a county other than Pottawatomie County. (Because we are always hearing about Pottawatomie County.) Every time Gary mentions your county, you take one drink. Take two drinks every time we see footage from your county. Take four drinks if a tornado touches down in your county.

One drink

1. Take one drink every time Gary says the following: Hook Echo | Updraft | Metro | Doppler radar | Wall cloud |Ranger 9 | Underground | Mobile home

2. When Gary gives a list of counties, take one drink for every county in the list. (Oklahoma has 77 counties but somehow they all get mentioned at some point.)

3. Take one drink every time Gary interrupts a program. Take one drink if Gary says "You’re not missing any of [program name]." (This is a major concern dammit!) Take one drink when Gary says "We’ll keep you advised." (Like we had any doubt he wouldn’t.)

Two drinks

1. Take two drinks every time Gary says the following: Baseball-sized hail |Waterloo Road | Pottawatomie County | Deer Creek High School (How many times has that high school been hit anyway?!?)

2. Take two drinks every time Gary mentions the following towns: Altus | Burns Flat | Dill City | Gotebo | Hydro | Lookeba | Meeker | Mulhall | Oktaha | Olustee | Shattuck | Slaughterville | Tryon | Vici |Waukomis | Wayne (or Payne) | Weleetka | Wetumkah (The only one that is even slightly big is Altus.) (C note: Amazingly, my county isn’t mentioned but believe me, it gets plenty of action.)

3. Take two drinks every time Gary talks to Val Castor. (Now we are gonna get really drunk!)

Three drinks

1. Take three drinks if we see footage from Val Castor.

2. Take three drinks if we see footage from Pottawatomie County.

3. Take three drinks if Gary mentions the following: Immediate tornado precautions | National Weather Service | Mesocyclone | Portable Radio | Take shelter | Tornado warning in effect until ...

Four drinks

1. Take four drinks if Ranger 9 must land to refuel. (Notice it doesn't say when it lands to take cover, we don't land our aircraft in a tornado around here, we fly AROUND them.)

2. Take four drinks if Gary issues his own tornado warning, not recognized by the NWS (He's a renegade that way) or says the following: "Will someone please answer that phone?" (He takes this stuff seriously damn it, answer the phone.) or "Do you see the power flashes?"

3. Take four drinks if a shirtless tornado victim is interviewed. (Redneck land, yo. There is a reason I get dressed and put on shoes when a storm is in the vicinity.) (C note: I do too before I head to our wine, er, storm cellar.)

Finish your drink

1. Finish your drink if someone uses the word tornado as a verb or if Gary mentions the cross streets nearest to you.

2. If Gary says "We’ve lost Val," pour a little out for your homies and finish your drink. (Poor Val…)

If THAT won't get you drunk, it can't be done.

Welcome to my world…

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

House of 8

I was trying to catch up on some Jon and Kate plus 8 last week and I noticed the episode where they got 2 new puppies... they were in a different house. Obviously I haven't watched in a few months because I didn't know they'd moved. Then Bone commented on Tubular (by Circe) and mentioned them. It made me investigate.

Yes! They got a new house. You can see it here

While I was searching, I found this article. For quite a while, my family and I have commented about how bitchy she is. Kate really treats Jon like shiznit (we think). Well apparently, alot (at least one more) think the same way. I don't think it should be taken off the air, but I do think she needs an attitude adjustment. I also noticed that she turns away from him in the interview chair, now, more than ever! She's also dropped a truckload of weight and seemed super boney. Has anyone else seen all this?

Don't get me wrong. I've enjoyed watching their show for years but here lately, it seems maybe Kate just isn't that into it. Maybe she's tapped out. Dunno

More house

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Tubular

Because I have considerably more time on my hands, some of these hours are spent/wasted watching TV. I’m not a talk show fan, I dislike soaps, and I’ve really gotten out of watching any sort of prime time drivel but there are some shows out there (even several judge shows; I adore Judge Judy, she's such saucy bitch!) I’ve become addicted to. I can hear the groaning already and you know you are more than welcome to disagree. : ) There is no accounting for taste, eh? We have Dish satellite here on the outskirts of Podunkville and I have found I’m partial to HGTV and the TLC channels. In no particular order I am mesmerized by these offerings:

What Not to Wear. Totally hooked on this one. Young or old, these female walking fashion disasters get well-heeled makeovers thanks to our fashion experts and some high priced NY boutiques. Some are pleasantly surprised, eager, and willing, but a few balk like a government mule and stubbornly refuse to follow the required guidelines. There are several I would personally bitch-slap but most come around to appreciating their new visage. One tall nanny with hideous taste flat out refused to have her beyond waist length tresses even trimmed by Nick though she did submit to Carmindy’s brushes. Needless to say, it detracted from her polished new look but that was her loss. Another favorite episode was the 23-year old wild child from Austin, Texas whose clothing taste was so bizarre that her signature look was a raccoon’s (?) tail attached to her derriere!!! She dressed beyond trampy and fought tooth and nail to keep her ‘look’. I really thought Mz Stacy and Mr Clinton were going to have a double coronary with her but reason prevailed and the tail was retired along with the rest of her hoochie getups. After the transformation, she looked lovely and sophisticated and our fav fashionistas did not turn her into a matronly frump as she feared. Nick’s wizardy with the scissors and Carmindy’s expert makeup application are just as essential to make this show work and their enthusiastic expertise is much appreciated. In conclusion, I love you Stacy and Clinton! Please come to Chez Circe and work your marvelous magic!

Property Ladder (and others like it). If it has anything to do with fixing up a house, I’m there. I love how the attractive yet snooty “veteran flipper” Kirsten comes to check on the first-timer’s progress. Her expressions are priceless when she hears their impractical, convoluted plans for the property. She always has wise advice which is rarely taken as the couple blissfully plunge headlong into their money pit abyss. The result is either going over budget, extra weeks spent in the renovation, not focusing on what Mz Expert advised to concentrate on or all of the above. The end result is occasionally a house that sits on the market for weeks or months on end with no recoup of investment. No doubt an undisclosed fallout has been divorces or breakups. My personal favorite was the female space cadet who calmly informed Kirsten that her house let it be known what it wanted done and what color to paint it. Apparently this chatty abode possessed a champagne appetite as the kitchen insisted on custom cabinets! This lunatic went waaaaaaay over budget and thanks to an overinflated asking price, failed to sell the house. A blurb across the screen did say she was listening for another communicative property to makeover. Ya can’t make these things up folks.

Myles of Style (Kim Myles), Color Splash (David Bromstad), Deserving Design (Vern Yip), etc.

Design Star 2 winner Kim Myles challenges homeowners to unlock their creativity as she helps them turn rooms from drab to fab in Myles of Style. With her signature creativity, talent for design and budget brilliance, Kim works her makeover magic to transform ordinary spaces into design masterpieces.

Totally love the room makeovers and I get all excited and motivated and think of a million things I’d like changed to jazz up my own nest. Doubt my plans ever come to fruition but it sure is fun to dream. Kim Myles does a terrific job on a shoestring budget, and David Bromstad from Color Splash is a very talented guy. I like Vern Yip from Deserving Design too. Heck, they are all good.

The Girls Next Door. I never thought I’d say I’d be this depressed to be losing Holly, Bridget, and Kendra’s profound thoughts and cerebral witticisms expounded on TV but frankly, I’ve come to enjoy watching them cavort about the mansion and throw parties for their dogs and pick out hooker costumes for whatever bashes are being held that week. You know, just what every American gal does on a daily basis. But honestly, I’m crushed that they are moving on and I won’t get to tune in and cringe and shudder every time any of them kiss those geriatric, wrinkled, pruned up lips (Hefs, ya goose) Blah! I guess it’s been seven years or so for Holly and possibly Bridget too, and it was time to start an actual life instead of being kept like a cosseted rare hothouse flower by a decrepit octogenarian. I realize it’s early in the game, but his new twin fluffheads didn’t strike me as having much of a personality and I don’t recall who the third flaxen-haired gold digger, er, replacement is. I haven’t heard if this show will continue with the new cast but my curiosity will get the better of me and I’ll be compelled to tune in at least a few times to check out the newbies. The season finale is March 1 so you where you can find me. Holly, Bridget, Kendra—I’ll miss you! *sniff*

Sober House. (It’s positively addictive!) This is a spin-off of Celebrity Rehab and I have TBC to thank for getting me completely hooked. I only caught part of its last season, CR2, but I’m front and center for each new SH episode. Not all of the cast from CR2 (Jeff, Tawny, Gary, Sean) chose to enter Sober House, but there have been a few additions so we have a nice selection of “former” junkies to watch screw up, and screw up they do. This really should be renamed “Who Falls off the Wagon This Week?” as that has pretty much been the premise so far. Week 1 featured Steven Adler who had the balls to show up on the first day higher than a kite not to mention attempting to smuggle drugs in. He was caught red-handed and spent the first night at one of the burly male staff’s home. As if this wasn’t enough, a few evenings later, he got his grubby hands on more drugs at a pool party thrown at the residence. This time the house mom, Jen, was forced to call the police as smiley Steve got darn belligerent and positively violent. He spent the night in lockup and went for more rehab before once again returning to the house. Week 2 showcased Amber, the lovely pill-popping model, who went to some private party with a hockey player and got seriously sozzled and shagged though she claims not to remember much of the evening in question. Week 3 had Seth going on a three-day drug-fueled bender and worrying his addiction-prone colleagues to distraction. Honestly, he has my vote for Mostly Likely to OD and Croak in a Trash Strewn Alley. Steve Adler runs a close second. I truly feel for them both but they have seriously got to want sobriety and I just don't get the feeling they are trying that hard. On the other hand, Rodney King seems to be the most dedicated to staying sober and just may make it. This Thursday, tonight! (9pm Central) we’ll see Mary the porn star (Cleveland native) next up to bat for falling from sobriety grace. Stay tuned…