Thursday, February 26, 2009


Because I have considerably more time on my hands, some of these hours are spent/wasted watching TV. I’m not a talk show fan, I dislike soaps, and I’ve really gotten out of watching any sort of prime time drivel but there are some shows out there (even several judge shows; I adore Judge Judy, she's such saucy bitch!) I’ve become addicted to. I can hear the groaning already and you know you are more than welcome to disagree. : ) There is no accounting for taste, eh? We have Dish satellite here on the outskirts of Podunkville and I have found I’m partial to HGTV and the TLC channels. In no particular order I am mesmerized by these offerings:

What Not to Wear. Totally hooked on this one. Young or old, these female walking fashion disasters get well-heeled makeovers thanks to our fashion experts and some high priced NY boutiques. Some are pleasantly surprised, eager, and willing, but a few balk like a government mule and stubbornly refuse to follow the required guidelines. There are several I would personally bitch-slap but most come around to appreciating their new visage. One tall nanny with hideous taste flat out refused to have her beyond waist length tresses even trimmed by Nick though she did submit to Carmindy’s brushes. Needless to say, it detracted from her polished new look but that was her loss. Another favorite episode was the 23-year old wild child from Austin, Texas whose clothing taste was so bizarre that her signature look was a raccoon’s (?) tail attached to her derriere!!! She dressed beyond trampy and fought tooth and nail to keep her ‘look’. I really thought Mz Stacy and Mr Clinton were going to have a double coronary with her but reason prevailed and the tail was retired along with the rest of her hoochie getups. After the transformation, she looked lovely and sophisticated and our fav fashionistas did not turn her into a matronly frump as she feared. Nick’s wizardy with the scissors and Carmindy’s expert makeup application are just as essential to make this show work and their enthusiastic expertise is much appreciated. In conclusion, I love you Stacy and Clinton! Please come to Chez Circe and work your marvelous magic!

Property Ladder (and others like it). If it has anything to do with fixing up a house, I’m there. I love how the attractive yet snooty “veteran flipper” Kirsten comes to check on the first-timer’s progress. Her expressions are priceless when she hears their impractical, convoluted plans for the property. She always has wise advice which is rarely taken as the couple blissfully plunge headlong into their money pit abyss. The result is either going over budget, extra weeks spent in the renovation, not focusing on what Mz Expert advised to concentrate on or all of the above. The end result is occasionally a house that sits on the market for weeks or months on end with no recoup of investment. No doubt an undisclosed fallout has been divorces or breakups. My personal favorite was the female space cadet who calmly informed Kirsten that her house let it be known what it wanted done and what color to paint it. Apparently this chatty abode possessed a champagne appetite as the kitchen insisted on custom cabinets! This lunatic went waaaaaaay over budget and thanks to an overinflated asking price, failed to sell the house. A blurb across the screen did say she was listening for another communicative property to makeover. Ya can’t make these things up folks.

Myles of Style (Kim Myles), Color Splash (David Bromstad), Deserving Design (Vern Yip), etc.

Design Star 2 winner Kim Myles challenges homeowners to unlock their creativity as she helps them turn rooms from drab to fab in Myles of Style. With her signature creativity, talent for design and budget brilliance, Kim works her makeover magic to transform ordinary spaces into design masterpieces.

Totally love the room makeovers and I get all excited and motivated and think of a million things I’d like changed to jazz up my own nest. Doubt my plans ever come to fruition but it sure is fun to dream. Kim Myles does a terrific job on a shoestring budget, and David Bromstad from Color Splash is a very talented guy. I like Vern Yip from Deserving Design too. Heck, they are all good.

The Girls Next Door. I never thought I’d say I’d be this depressed to be losing Holly, Bridget, and Kendra’s profound thoughts and cerebral witticisms expounded on TV but frankly, I’ve come to enjoy watching them cavort about the mansion and throw parties for their dogs and pick out hooker costumes for whatever bashes are being held that week. You know, just what every American gal does on a daily basis. But honestly, I’m crushed that they are moving on and I won’t get to tune in and cringe and shudder every time any of them kiss those geriatric, wrinkled, pruned up lips (Hefs, ya goose) Blah! I guess it’s been seven years or so for Holly and possibly Bridget too, and it was time to start an actual life instead of being kept like a cosseted rare hothouse flower by a decrepit octogenarian. I realize it’s early in the game, but his new twin fluffheads didn’t strike me as having much of a personality and I don’t recall who the third flaxen-haired gold digger, er, replacement is. I haven’t heard if this show will continue with the new cast but my curiosity will get the better of me and I’ll be compelled to tune in at least a few times to check out the newbies. The season finale is March 1 so you where you can find me. Holly, Bridget, Kendra—I’ll miss you! *sniff*

Sober House. (It’s positively addictive!) This is a spin-off of Celebrity Rehab and I have TBC to thank for getting me completely hooked. I only caught part of its last season, CR2, but I’m front and center for each new SH episode. Not all of the cast from CR2 (Jeff, Tawny, Gary, Sean) chose to enter Sober House, but there have been a few additions so we have a nice selection of “former” junkies to watch screw up, and screw up they do. This really should be renamed “Who Falls off the Wagon This Week?” as that has pretty much been the premise so far. Week 1 featured Steven Adler who had the balls to show up on the first day higher than a kite not to mention attempting to smuggle drugs in. He was caught red-handed and spent the first night at one of the burly male staff’s home. As if this wasn’t enough, a few evenings later, he got his grubby hands on more drugs at a pool party thrown at the residence. This time the house mom, Jen, was forced to call the police as smiley Steve got darn belligerent and positively violent. He spent the night in lockup and went for more rehab before once again returning to the house. Week 2 showcased Amber, the lovely pill-popping model, who went to some private party with a hockey player and got seriously sozzled and shagged though she claims not to remember much of the evening in question. Week 3 had Seth going on a three-day drug-fueled bender and worrying his addiction-prone colleagues to distraction. Honestly, he has my vote for Mostly Likely to OD and Croak in a Trash Strewn Alley. Steve Adler runs a close second. I truly feel for them both but they have seriously got to want sobriety and I just don't get the feeling they are trying that hard. On the other hand, Rodney King seems to be the most dedicated to staying sober and just may make it. This Thursday, tonight! (9pm Central) we’ll see Mary the porn star (Cleveland native) next up to bat for falling from sobriety grace. Stay tuned…


TC said...

I guess it’s been seven years or so for Holly and possibly Bridget too, and it was time to start an actual life instead of being kept like a cosseted rare hothouse flower by a decrepit octogenarian.


This is why we've missed you :)

Grant said...

Boredom leads to more posting, so I approve. I generally hate TV, but since I've been ill I enjoy falling asleep in front of NCIS. I have yet to watch a full episode, but the women are pretty. I only wish my cable channel would carry an Asian network.

Kerry said...

I love to watch Girls Next Door too! It's been a little heart breaking these last few episodes because you can see the distance and they all "moved out" before they really moved out. I hate to see it end but eventually I guess it has to. Kendra was my favorite. Although she's a little rough around the edges... thats why I liked her! ha I absolutely adore Bridget! Her smile and personality is addictive.

BTW... I dont' like the twins. They are clueless idiots.

Have you watched BBC at all? The british channel. I LOVE to watch How Clean Is Your House. OMG the crap those ladies have to walk thru.. I can't believe people live in such nasty trash *barfing*. The show will make you laugh ;)

Bone said...

Ah yes, TLC. The channel I am coerced into watching when I'm dating someone.

Fortunately, I've not been dating anyone for several months now. You know, I never thought I'd say this, but I kinda miss John & Kate Plus Eight.

Kerry said...

speaking of Jon and Kate... did they get a new big house? I watched an episode last week when they got new puppies and they were in a huge house!

Kerry said...

speaking of Jon and Kate... did they get a new big house? I watched an episode last week when they got new puppies and they were in a huge house!