A Great Ending to this Beautiful Friday!

I don't talk about people that I work with (much) but I think today is a day I need to mention one man in particular.

For starters, i've been blessed with a job where I'm surrounded by Testosterone all day. Its me... and all these men. I'm the only chick in our area and it makes for me being a little spoiled (I know it and i'll accept it). They are all such good guys and I love working with them. They make work so, ummmm.... interesting. haha

Anyways, one of the guys in particular is an older gentleman from Ireland. He has a heart of gold and is most precious. However, for the past year he's been sick off and on and the doctors have not been able to find exactly what's going on with him. This last episode occured Labor Day weekend and he fell deathly ill which landed himself in the hospital.... in surgery.

They finally found the culprit to the stomach problems and why he was requiring so many pints (gallons almost) of blood - for no apparent reason. He has a growth that had to come out.... plus it had lymph nodes attached. Things did not look good at the time. He spent several weeks in the hospital where he had one major setback that scared us all.... God saved that boy! He was seriously sick! An infection had set in and they packed him in ice and wheeled him off for emergency procedures (not clear on details).

For weeks he's been trying to bounce back, and today he called me to give me an update. He was chipper and full of energy! He sounded like our guy! He'd gotten a clean bill of health from one physician and meets with another one this week to be checked out. It appears as if they got all the growth out and so no more procedures will need to be done and possibly no treatments at all! We're so excited for him and so ready to have him back at work! We're all jumping for joy.

It's hard when one of your coworkers is out for so long. Not only do we miss him because he have to make adjustments in the office, but we miss him. We miss his sparkling personality and the flavor he adds to our people mix. I'm hoping he gets back to us in a couple of weeks!!! I'm so excited I had to share!

You guys have a great weekend!!!

Random Burp in the Universe

A coworker was overheard announcing his cog status in the scheme of things as he walked by my office Thursday morning. :)


Topfive.com's Quotes from an Animal Romance Novel

"'The muscular ram grabbed her by the wooly tuft on the back of her neck and with a sinful gleam in his eye said, "You've been a very baa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aad girl.'"

"Squeezing his octopus companion tightly with his tentacles, Oliver felt shame as he prematurely released his ink."

"Polly's new man was like all the others. He never seemed to ask what she really wanted, choosing instead to insistently repeat his offer of a cracker."

"He didn't need the love of a female. He didn't need a male, either, for that matter. He was a worm. He had it all."

"Every antenna went up when she entered the burrow. She was one millipede with legs that wouldn't quit."

"'Heartbroken at Rex's departure, Fifi threw herself to the ground next to their special tree. Suddenly, she smelled the most beautiful love letter she'd ever received. 'Be of good cheer, my love,' said Rex's urine."

Well gang, tomorrow is the long-awaited, much-anticipated Oktoberfest, and the weather looks to be downright spectacular (if not a tad on the warm side with a slight chance of t-storms). I can't quite explain why I feel compelled to be there, but it has something to do with the proper kickoff to fall frolics. Here’s hoping I manage to stay upright for the duration and incur no further embarrassment, but just to be on the safe side, K needs to bring her sketch pad. Stay tuned for pics and in conclusion, Prost!

Mooch Madness

I am so disgusted with moochers that take advantage of their other peoples good nature and generosity. Though TBC has many faults, he lends his clean, well-maintained shirt off his back and gives freely of his time and assets, usually to his detriment. I’m not quite that soft of a touch and though kind and considerate, exhibit more of a wary, reserved nature. In my opinion, if a person consistently makes piss-poor decisions and squanders resources, it is doing them no favor to forever pull them out of jams of their own making. Needless to say, the true solution would be that they learn to prioritize their funds rather than constantly be rescued by expected hand-outs.


Anywho, I cannot enumerate all the times TBC has lent equipment, tools, etc. to any friends or family that request it. Just last Saturday, he lent his trailer thingy (its correct name escapes me) to our bro-in-law to haul a vehicle to a drag race and practically before its wheels lurched to a halt in our yard was once again borrowed on Sunday by his Nutjob cousin! (It is still MIA.) Most of the time, our possessions come back broken or on empty, if and when borrowers bother to return them at all. Usually TBC has to spend needless time and effort in retrieving them himself. I guess the moral here is if you buy any equipment, others will figure its open season for borrowing because they surely aren’t going to spend the bucks themselves when they know you are the Lending Library of T(F)ools. We need to have a big bulletin board or something showing the culprit’s name and date borrowed complete with a legal document listing the somber consequences and severe ramifications should said item return in anything less than mint condition. Or better yet, once again employ the wise adage: “Just Say NO.”

An Ill Note

I'm suffering from the most brutal stomach virus. It kept Richard and I up all night long...with me running to and from the bathroom. With each drink of water I'd make two trips to the bathroom to 'get it out'. And it wasnt pretty. What went in... came out in one way or another.

So, first thing this morning we headed to the hospital. Yesterday my OBGYN told me to head straight to the hospital if things turned worse because dehydration is going to cause me lots of problems being preggers and all. After a night of craps and a morning of throwing up my heels... we decided it's time.

I was only slightly dehydrated but they monitered me for hours and gave me some good drugs to help keep food down and control exiting liquids. We also watched as I had some pretty big contractions! Wowza!

I feel better as far as the stomach virus is concerned. I'm now extremely tired and hot! Gotta go hit the couch again.... tah-tah!

Ach Toe Burr

Our son, BW, managed to misplace his flea collar and as he’s been in dire need of a regular version, I bought him a handsome black one festooned with rhinestones for his fuzzy, nekkid neck. He looks magnificent if not a trifle effeminate. I do hope he didn’t have to endure a lot of feline heckling later in the day when he made his outdoor appearance sporting this new fou-fou accessory. I could have sworn I heard Stubbly snickering behind his massive paws. Course, this is the guy wearing a rugged, he-cat, Harley collar so I suppose he has valid reason to chuckle.

In yet another salute to autumn, I bring you my list of Ten Things I Adore about Fabulous, Fantastic Fall.

Warm sweaters
Apple cider
Spiced wine
Oktoberbest
Bonfires
Colorful leaves
Candy corn
Toasted marshmallows
Cool, crisp days
Hot cocoa

And here is a list of recent searches that led hapless minions to our helpful, informative, and apparently penis-savvy site. :)

peniss
ohio state fans are insane
spanking fun 2007
blog rules of engagement for comments
shirtless vincent spano
penis fun
will ferrell glamour shot
deep impact wow
penis's- superbad
gym rat
wedding ring chick magnet
after basketball scratchy throat
dr. jason diamond
ou shoes
diminutive dictator chocolate
roses have thorn

Coolio!

Some People Just Should Not Speak

Some people are so rude.

This afternoon I was headed to P's soccer game and one of my friends hollered at me so I stopped to talk to her. She asked about Lil November and rubbed on my belly and we got to chatting about baby things. She's going to give me some of her baby's toys and play pen! Well anyways, the lady sitting next to her (who was not invited into this conversation, but joined on her own) asked "oh! Is this your first baby!?" I said 'no, it's my third'.

She responds with "oh! That weight won't come off." Just as stone cold as she possibly could... she said that to me.

So, I respond with "it will one way or another!"

Meanass lady, "with my first one it just fell off, but the second one I struggled with, of course I was 30 when I had him/her, but that third one probably won't come off"
I was ready to rip into her psycho meanass but I didnt... I just said "I'm not too concerned about it. I know how to get the baby fat off".

UGH. MEAN MEAN MEAN! I dismissed myself and stomped on down to the end of spectators where Richard and another little friend were sitting and proceeded to tell them about meanass lady. Appalled! They were simply appalled at the nerve of her! They both agreed that it was uncalled for.. and of course 'dont worry about it Kerry, you will be fine'. But still! How mean is that!?!?

Triple Play

Today is a gorgeous, temperate, end of September day, and Friday and payday. You just can’t beat that combo with a stick! I don’t want to ruin this heady feeling by discussing what a quick pit stop the moola makes in my checkbook before it’s off and running in the Bill Paying 500. I hear the whoosh, change the tires and it’s outty...


Yesterday I attend a CPR class to bring me up to speed on the latest lifesaving methods. The class was small but jovial and the instructor, though a pup, was very easy on the eyes. We had a lively and informative two hours but the highlight of the session occurred when the little head popped off the ‘infant’ of a gal in the last row feverishly working to resuscitate it. Though we cracked up laughing, I truly think that action launched a whole new set of problems for the tyke. Anyway, I’m prepared to take offensive action should the need arise but it would help tremendously if you’d secure your noggin first.


With the exception of reveling in the sunshine, the only thing planned for this weekend is possibly boating on Sunday and that may not happen as thunderbloomers are forecast. Saturday looks perfect but K is working on one of her perennial side jobs and won’t be available then. Soooooo, I may end up being a slug which would give me a much needed respite. Next weekend—Oktoberfest! Now that should be a trip (literally).

UGH

F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have got to be kidding me!!!!

IE locked up and lost my post. I had this really nice LONG post and hit PUBLISH and dang if it didnt' lock up!

I'm not rewriting.

Just TGIF

That's not what my post was about... but TGIF.

Chump Change

An instructor friend of mine was relating a sordid tale of an experience she had a few weeks ago with a current student of hers. Having a rough time making ends meet what with increasing gas prices and living off her Pell grant funds, this twenty-something mother of three has hit up my friend for cash several times in the past and generously been given a few bucks each time. L’s widowed mom has been living next door but as she is now unable to care for herself, she recently moved in with L. L plans to sell most of her mom’s unused belongings and this female con artist offered to help clean the house. L promised to pay her for services rendered but with the stipulation that payment would be on the following Wednesday. As promised, the student came to help and was even given freebies that would have gone in the sale including a microwave, sheets, a down comforter and more. That Monday, the gal called and emailed L demanding her money! L reminded her that payment would be on Wednesday as previously stated as she had not had time to visit the bank. The pushy conniver had the gall to offer to go with L to the bank but was informed that the bank is situated in a different town. On Tuesday, the cajone-owning bitch shows up on L’s doorstep insisting on immediate payment as "her cable bill was due." (And this is L’s problem, how??) Wednesday dawns and L tapes the cash-filled envelope to her door in hopes of avoiding this confrontational, mentally unbalanced nutcase. Ms Psycho knocked at her door anyway and lamely apologized for her bizarre behavior by giving some flimsy excuse about getting chewed out by another instructor which upset her, blahblahblah. Huh? Needless to say, that gal has now burned any future dollar bill bridges from my soft-hearted friend, but odds are this won’t be the last L hears from her. Beotch. Greedy, Scheming Beotch.

Fabulous Fall

It was with mixed emotions this past weekend that I bid adieu to sumptuous summer and graciously extended my welcoming hand to fantastic fall. It seemed only fitting that on the last day of summer, I don my mowing apparel and hop on the ole Guillotine of Death for its possible final spin around the property. And yes, in keeping with my scything requirements, I downed a couple of chilling brewskies. Unfortunately they weren’t Genesee but, oh well. It had been three weeks since the lawn’s last trim and I dejectedly noticed a grievous lack of ground morning glories yet an alarming rise in jumpy grasshoppers. This past weekend’s weather was the picture of loveliness and the choices of events to attend were varied and plentiful. Though I was unable to attend Kerbear’s babygirl shower, I had an enjoyable time selecting a gift for little Miss November and merrily sent it south via mutual friends. Also on Saturday’s "To Do" list was the annual Chili Cookoff here in Podunkville and the final day of drag racing across the state line. I made neither. TBC didn’t feel well and informed me too late to make alternate arrangements. *sigh*


I was sick yesterday and spend the rainy day catching up on Netflix selections as I ODed on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice two-disk series from 1995. While I've read the novel many, many times, not so much because it's a thrill-a-minute page-turner, but because it works better than a sleeping pill for snooze inducement. At any rate, this rendition featured one huge plus that Ms Austen's stuffy missive lacked--Colin Firth. I wouldn't say his extensive acting skills were much in evidence, but boy is he ever good at staring! He pretty much gawked at the leading lady during the entire five-hour miniseries which in turn caused alot of excessive staring (and drooling) at his attractive visage on my part. And could he wear a taller hat? Good lord that was some elevated headgear! I'm madly in love. Colin = eye candy. :)

In other news, I have had my fuzzy Teddybear ass handed to me on a shiny FFB platter for three weeks in a row and this week ain’t looking so good either. The Sneaky Snakes mean serious business as here’s what I found in my inbox this morning…Wish me luck!

I'm Desperate, I Tell Ya!

As we recall, Richard got an Xbox 360 for his birthday.... and he's been so excited about it and has tried so hard to get me excited about having it. I am not... nor will I probably never ever be.

Today, we got Halo 3. Yeah. (with a bit of sarcasm). Yep, I'm the one that purchased the card for us to get the game... i did it all because they wanted it. Not me. I was being unselfish for a brief moment. *giggle*

Today in the mail came a little gift to me... from Richard. He's trying so hard to get me involved in their gaming. He gets an "A" for effort for sure. He got me the Desperate Housewives game! Now I can design my own housewife and family, shop for clothes, and decorate the perfect home. I can seduce, snoop, flirt, outwit and share my dirty laundry with all the girls PLUS I can even cook and garden!

First thing i'm doing is lovin' up to Carlos. Then I might move on to the plumber...

November Showers

Ok... more baby stuff I have to share.

Today my sister and friend, Fachaitte had a baby shower for our little jewel and we had such a good time! We got a ton of neat things plus loads of cute cute little clothes! We got a bicycle trailer and a gymnasium for her to play in/on/with, plus diapers and wipes and booger suckers, and blankets and toys and pacifiers. We got quite a bit to help take care of our new little joy.

The centerpiece for the snack table was a diaper cake (non-edible). How cute is this!?!??


You can never have too many diapers and wipes! THANK YOU!!!


Such fun times...


Circe sent a pink camo outfit!!! *kisses* Circe! Thank you!! That was so sweet!!!


My friend Tanya and her sister along with Lisa. I worked with them (minus Tanya's sister who is here visiting from Russia) at Chaos College.


Kitchen table chit-chat


Everyone had a onsie to decorate for the baby to have to remember her shower.


I gave each of the hostesses pink fluffy slippers, glitter lipgloss and jewelry. Check out the diva shoes!


The hostesses with me.


Me trying on one of the onsies for size...


Another one of the onsies... design by Dawna


Thank you everybody!!!

Return to Sender

A woman finds a romantic letter in a bottle washed ashore and tracks down the author, a widowed shipbuilder whose wife died tragically early. As a deep and mutual attraction blossoms, the man struggles to make peace with his past so that he can move on and find happiness.

I rented the sappy tearjerker, Message in a Bottle, a few weeks ago. For starters, I think Kevin Costner is a puss (IMHO) so that made for Strike One. I realize there are legions of Costner fans walking the earth, but I’m not one of them. Secondly, the characters didn’t even bother attempting realism by speaking with a southern accent. This dreadful tale is supposedly set in Wilmington, NC, and having lived in North Carolina for several years, I can attest to the fact that true Tarheels do indeed talk with a pronounced drawl. And that brings me to Strike Three—it’s supposed location. As I watched the movie, I looked in vain for any familiar beach shots that vaguely resembled the Outer Banks. HA! For whatever reason, the powers that be chose deception over truth by saying this drivel took place on my special coast when in actuality, it was Maine’s seashore used for the setting. Guess they figured no one would notice. At any rate, I almost had to restrain myself from applauding at the end when Kevin’s character met his untimely demise. *said in loud umpirish voice,* “Yer out!”

Birthday Party Pics

I've finally had a chance to sit down and get the pictures from Richard's birthday off my camera. I made him a German Chocolate cake (his request) and drowned it in icing. Yummy!



He spit on it for us to get the fire out.


I told him it was going to be the best birthday ever ever! He was shocked.... a happy shocked. He got an Xbox 360... the one thing I did NOT want in my house because its only breeding grounds for trouble. I bought it.


The happy birthday boy with a hot party girl.

Picture Perfect

Another ‘happening’ this past weekend was the family photo shoot. In all honesty we have never ever had a fam pic so this was quite an extraordinary event. My talented niece flew out from NC to visit and while she was out here, picked up a few bucks on the side by putting one of her many skills to good use. Sis and gang opted for the white shirt/bluejeans look while the Circe menagerie went with the more GQ black polo/khaki visage. We occasionally let the pure silliness shine through resulting in joyful merriment rather than tedious chore. Afterwards we all enjoyed a relative-intense cookout featuring grilled chicken, baked potatoes, veggies, salad, and a hefty bottle of Merlot. As we toasted marshmallows by the crackling bonfire and turned them into gooey S’mores, leftover fireworks burst above the appreciative crowd.

TBC finally broke down yesterday and had me call AT&T ("the new Cingular") regarding his notoriously popular cell number. If you recall the story, a certain female in town has a vast collection of unsavory friends who are forever either in dire need of a. some sort of ‘package,’ or b. assistance in detention springing as they frantically employ the get-out-of-jail collect call. Alrighty then. In the months he has had these mobile digits, the calls have never lessened as her buddies apparently cannot distinguish between the numbers “6” and “8” when they are higher than a kite. At any rate, he’s now the proud owner of a brand spanking new number that the rep promised had no previous owners or dubious history. The irony was not lost when he informed me this morning that his phone jarred him awake at 2:30 am by someone named “private.” WTF?

Shake a Tail Feather

I’m sure I’ll be feeling some residual aches and pains this week as I recover from our lively Latino dance party last night. Though our gathering was small and intimate, we managed to rattle the walls as we twisted and twirled to the music. Mischief, the only male (kitty) allowed to remain, was terrified and hid out in the bedroom when he wasn’t playing soccer with the whipped cream cap. After chowing down on chips, dip, root beer floats, and brownie sundaes, the festivities got under way with a loving and painstakingly compiled multimedia slide show of “S’s” personal six-month DR experience. Thanks to “S’s” patience, I can now say with confidence that I have danced the Bachata, Cumbia, Salsa, and my personal favorite, the Merengue. I had to be reminded that I had already received lessons for the Salsa when we stayed at the tropical resort. Um, I've slept since then... As yet, I cannot distinguish among the differing melodies for the first three, but by golly if my feet cannot stop tapping and my hips rhythmically undulate on their own accord to an irresistible, catchy beat, I know it’s the Merengue! We worked up a lot of sweat, laughed ourselves silly and hopefully burned off mucho calories. Of course, we each had to bust our own unique American moves occasionally, but all in all, we threw our heart and soul into the seductive swaying. (I tossed in a few energetic pirouettes for good measure!) The party was still in full swing when I bid my goodbyes (some of us have to work on Monday), but the evening was a resounding success. Whose up for big band swing dance lessons? :)

Let There Be Light

Today was Richards birthday... here's how we've spent it...

In the dark.

Our electricity has been off more than its been on. We fixed lunch (electricity had already been off and back on once), then started in on cake and ice cream and the electricity started in... off, on, off, on, etc. Finally, it came on and stayed for about an hour. We opened his gifts - which i'd love to share pictures of, but I cant get to my computer without electricity! All the boys sat down to hook up the new XBox 360, I headed out for my pedicure... and my phone rang. They announced the power had gone out again, so they were going shopping. HOURS later, we all return home to find no power yet... and the house is hot.... the air is still... and our entire neighborhood has set up camp in their driveways.

We opted to go see a movie. Mr Bean... and in my opinion not very funny. Everyone else laughed, but I wasn't seeing the humor. Anyways ... we headed back to the house to find a completely dark neighborhood. UGH! So, here we are sittiing at my sister's place while kids do homework and I surf the net and Richard celebratets the last moments of his birthday day, watching Attack of Mars or something like that.

Apparently, there are about 775 customers without power and they dont have an explanation why. Oh the joy.

Guilty Pleasures

I know you all remember me telling you about my secret shame of watching Dr. 90210, but I stoop even lower than that. My guiltiest pleasure is watching Hef’s GFs in all their bosomy glory strut their very well-endowed stuff in the fluffy reality show, The Girls Next Door. You'll recognize them by the dollar signs they greedily exchanged for irises. Yes, I know it glorifies shallow, superficial appearances without a speck of tangible substance and yes, I feel the need to take a long, cleansing shower after each viewing, and yes, I sense my IQ plummeting much like a meteor hurtling toward earth, but there is something so crassly entertaining about watching this trio of young, nubile bleached-blondes parading around in scanty costumes readying themselves for the next glitzy blowout bash or trying to decide what to buy their 80-something coddled, codger “boyfriend” for Valentine’s Day/his geriatric birthday/Bastille Day. And lest I forget, the Valentine's Day episode featured the dogs, Winnie (a black something or other) and Duke (chihuahua) being squired around the grounds by chauffeur Holly for their 'romantic carriage ride.' Ummm, ok....In my opinion, Holly is the prettiest, Bridget the dumbest (and supposedly the smartest), and though Kendra glams up beautifully with the application of makeup, she's not all that spectacular facewise sans warpaint. The show pretty much flip flops along between these two “intellectual” premises. And though a mindless diversion and though I involuntarily shudder every time the feather-brained bimb, I mean smart, savvy ingénues give the geezer a peck on his leathery, withered lips, I continue to stare transfixed at the screen as I voyeuristically ponder the unspoken possibilities. Shaggingly speaking, do they do threesomes? Foursomes? Does it go by rotation? Drawing straws? Rock-paper-scissors? Picking a number out of the party hat? Do they occasionally indulge in strictly girl-on-girl action and gleefully lock the aged perv out of the Pleasuredome? And then I wonder what they’ve been willed/gifted/promised to willingly bump uglies with the decrepit King of Hedonism? Pardon me while I switch to the History Channel...

That Time of Year Again

This weekend is a big event at our house! Richard's birthday!

Happy pre-Birthday, babydoll! I can't wait to see you Saturday! You see, Richard has been working all kinds of OT at work and has stayed buried in code all week. I'm hoping to drag him out for a bit on Saturday ;)

We went to our baby-birthin' class last night and we discovered that the breathing techniques are probably not going to work for us because a) Richard says he feels stupid and b) we get to laughing. The different labor positions probably aren't going to work much because a) I feel like a dork and b) we get to laughing. We may not be laughing much when those real contractions hit and if he even cracks a little laugh i'll hit him so hard that i'll knock that little giggle right out of him! Just bring on the epidural!

Obstruction Zone

The obstinate post I was working on for today unexpectedly departed for Microsoft Word 2007 heaven so hopefully my revised version fills the bill. Minor, petty things have been accumulating all this week and yes, I realize it’s only Wednesday. Already I’m in dire need of a serious attitude adjustment. Or a drink. Or both. The ladies upstairs bathroom has been out of commission for a week and a half now and there is no plumber in sight. I have called maintenance and even reminded the Exalted Poobah’s assistant to no avail. It isn’t that I mind traipsing down the stairs to the communal stalls (more exercise), but it’s the fact they keep the downstairs potties less than pristine and our "genteel scholars" have a heck of a time remembering to flush let alone place their used towels in the trash.

"Attention Ladies, and I'm using that term loosely here:
Please turn around and flush the toilet when you are through. Or reach back and hit the handle. Either way. Ok? Thank you."

But no, they would rather be dirty, little pigs. That don’t care. They are dirty, little pigs that don’t care. One never knows what eyeball-searing scene will greet ones peepers as one fearfully opens a stall door. It is positively vile. The faucet water reaches the sizzling temperature of “tepid” so after washing ones hands, doubt lingers while wondering if this heat is sufficient to kill those throngs of copulating germs.

Also, we just received a memo that starting tomorrow, yet another entrance will be blocked off. Why don’t they just get it over with and entomb staff in here like a body in a coffin forgodssakes?! Or better yet, just lock us out completely. I am really tired of trying to figure out new ways to enter or exit the premises with all this construction going on. Did they have to work on everything at once? Aren’t we violating stringent fire codes or something by now? And to top it off, I missed seeing Naked Guy on the Side of the Highway waving at passerby on Monday afternoon as he was long gone by 5 pm. Dang it!!!