Bikinis & Snowboots

Yes gang, the calendar shows the date of April 6 today and the rebellious sky is spitting out frozen drops of white here in Okieland! And it’s expected to continue off and on throughout the afternoon. After hitting dizzying heights of 70-80 degrees, the erratic pendulum has swung the other way. The latest snowfall I remember was on April 2 so a new record may have been broken. Guess I’ll dig out my arctic gear again from the depths of the cavernous cardboard box.

Tomorrow will mark the one year Sadaversary since my Esteemed Colleague deserted me for greener pastures. I miss her terribly but the one thing we can say for an absolute certainty is things forever change and never say never. Cryptic, but true. ;)

And though these conditions are not in the immediate forecast (so far) for this week, I thought it would do us all good to review our handy dandy Tornado Tips during our spring storm season:

Tornado Safety
Spring is tornado season. The National Weather Service recommends taking these safety measures:

1. In the event of a tornado, lie down in a ditch. If you are already lying in a ditch, do not attempt to sit up.
2. The most important thing is to stay calm. This will be difficult, since you are almost certainly going to die.
3. Tornadoes spook easily. Firing a few warning shots into the air is usually enough to scare them off.
4. Live a little for once: Strap yourself to the roof of your house and rage at the heavens.
5. Prevent tornadoes before they happen: Make sure that warm, moist air fronts do not converge with cool, dry ones.
6. During a tornado, the only safe place is in my loving arms. Come here, baby.
7. If a tornado strikes your home, even your basement could be dangerous, so construct a basement for your basement.
8. If you spot a tornado, always remember to point at it, yell “tornado!,” and run like hell.

Call the Fire Department

Men are so transparent. They think they are being sneaky or 'pulling one over on ya' but little do they know that you know. It cracks me up to watch them try to be so smart. HAHAHA They think they are getting away with something. HAHAHA
That's all i'm going to say about that....

Tomorrow is my birthday! As Circe pointed out, the day also marks the one year anniversary of my last day at Chaos College. Although I miss her dearly, I have not one time missed that place. I loved my job and I miss my friends, but my headaches and stomache ache and general depressed feeling has been gone for a year now. *happy dance* This blog has been good for us... we've been able to keep in touch and be our evil little selves via technology. *bigger happy dance*.

Tonite my parents are taking me out for my birthday, and tomorrow has been declared Kerry Day, so we get to do whatever I want. Which means, soccer games. haha Richard is taking me out to dinner and I've announced I want to go see Blades of Glory with Will Ferrel. I also want to see I Think I love My Wife and Richard wants to see 300, so maybe we'll just make it a movie night.

It's also supposed to be pretty chilly tomorrow... high's in the 40's and a chance of snow! So its a perfect day/night for 'movie night'.

Happy Birthday to me!

Soccer Woes

We're big soccer fans and all week long we practice, then every weekend we're consumed with game after game after game. Last weekend was perfect weather. I sat and watched C play, chatted with other parents and worked on some tannage. It's been nice weather... til today. It's only in the 50's and the forecast is even suggesting maybe snow possibilites for saturday... the high's in the 40's. We have soccer games scheduled!

There is nothing worse than attending a soccer game in the freezing cold... PLUS the wind chill makes it feel like 30 below. When you're out on soccer fields there are no trees or buildings to block the Oklahoma winds. This is so gonna suck.

Zombies & Hookers

Yesterday our hallowed halls hosted the annual academic contest and once again our campus swarmed with scholarly children in anxious pursuit of that coveted mass-produced certificate I kick out from my trusty printer. Or maybe they actually hope to garner first or second prize in their area of expertise and snag a scholarship to our worthy institution. Though failing to obtain our usual conference room thanks to the shake-ups in workplace locales, we hunkered down in my reception area and did processing duty. Things went quite smoothly and the kiddos departed by late afternoon.

A soon-to-be-departing faculty member enjoys passing by my desk daily and razzing me about my intent, prissy typing and how my evil red VM button is forever lit revealing to one and all my gross dereliction of duties! (Whatever, T!) Anyway, when he popped his head in this morning he asked if I’d like a part in his new movie and I had the choice of zombie or hooker. Hmm, wonder which character I am more suitable for…

It’s funny how things work out sometimes. Doors open and close with wild abandon and without warning, loudly slam tightly shut and lock behind you. And though fully aware of the reason, it still deeply and painfully breaks your heart and echoes in your soul. And the agonizingly slow mourning process begins. Sometimes all we can do is hope and pray our essence will live on in the special secret place nestled deep in a friend’s heart. Till our paths cross again, “ciao bella.” *blows kiss to the north wind*

Vegas Recreation

Richard and I, along with a few more friends, are heading out to Vegas in May and I've been trying to figure out which show(s) I want to take him to. I've seen Blue Man Group, Fantasy, Stomp, and Stars on Ice. We both love comedy, and and hypnotists always sound like fun but I don't want to be one of the people that get sucked out of the audience and put onstage.... so that kinda makes me skiddish. I think he'd enjoy Stripper 101, Bite, Crazy Girls (I'm trying to talk him into Thunder From Down Under... *giggle*).

I just can't decide. There are so many choices!

Bright Lights, Big City

I had a very busy weekend with R & R not being any part of the equation. Saturday, sis and I went to T-Town for a scrumptious Italian cooking class using gallons of butter and wine (definitely not for the diet-conscious). This place has a store out front which sells cooking implements and an enormous utensil-laden kitchen for holding classes. Our instructor was entertaining and knowledgeable and the approximately 20 in attendance had an enjoyable afternoon watching and eating her delicious creations. The time flew and before we knew it, our gastronomic journey ended. I purchased her cookbook, had it personally signed, and sis and I have definite plans to recreate this heavenly repast for the men.

We also picked up some fledgling trees from sis’ sis-in-law and I got to meet her mentally-challenged cat, Tabitha. She reminded me so much of Spikey what with her attractive looks and pissy demeanor. Home Depot was also on the agenda and we had fun wandering its home improvement aisles. I am always drawn to the twinkling lights and had several gorgeous chandeliers picked out for my wish list before we vacated the premises.

Unable to pass up a visit to the appealing mall, I had my list ready for items I adore but am unable to find in Podunkville. We zipped around the place as I hit the stores scooping up my needed (ok, wanted) articles. One window display that stopped us in our tracks was the most gorgeous, sexy, fairy tale vision of enchanting feminine loveliness in the guise of a white prom dress. Barbie dolls should wear this exquisite creation. It was the most beautiful outfit I have ever seen and I just wish I had whipped out the phone and snapped it’s pic for your nodding approval. *deep sigh* Skipping the arousing lingerie, I found my beloved, sweet-scented body cream in VS and grabbed a bottle of my all-time favorite silky skin lotion at The Body Shop. Checking the sales at Dillards (yes Ker, I used the bathroom and it wasn’t particularly clean) I came up empty but found the perfect shoes to go with my khaki skirt in Payless. The highlight of our adventure occurred in this store when sis received an unexpected text message from an unknown number that simply said, “boobies.” I could hear her laughing her butt off in the other aisle but had no idea what had caused this fit of hilarity. When I found her she showed me the message and said she had texted back, “wrong number!” and had received a sheepish reply of “k.” I told her I would more likely have come back with the sassy retort of “cooters!” ;)

Sometimes We Get Screwed

This just irritates me.

It's true...

At one of my previous employers I was told (by the next dog in line) that women were paid according to what their husbands made. That just pissed me off. Its none of their business what your hubby makes AND he's not doing your job!

But here's what the article says to do:

1. Research the going rates in your field, by checking out salary ranges in want ads and on Web sites like salary.com. Then ask for the high end of the spectrum. It's easier to negotiate down than up.

2. "No" often means "Not now." Even if a pay hike just isn't in the budget at the moment, that doesn't mean it never will be. Don't get discouraged.

3. Negotiate more than plain dollars and cents. Your total compensation might include other items you may want more of, like performance bonuses, profit sharing, paid time off, flexible work hours, tuition reimbursement, and club memberships.

4. Act confident (even if you don't feel it). Communicate with authority. "Perceived confidence has a big impact," Stanny says.

5. Remember, the best time to negotiate is when you have other offers.

6. Have points prepared and build a case around your value and what you bring to the company.

Regardless of who I work for now and in the future.. I will never discuss my husbands job or pay. Ever. Not all men pay women unfairly, but I'm not taking that chance.

We Got It Done!

We saw Larry The Cable Guy.

Despite torrential.... and I mean torrential... downpours, we met Bren and Wayne at the Brewery for dinner and drinks and then headed over to catch the act. Larry (is that his real name? We had a big discussion about that because Ron White is Ron White's name and he uses it... so is Larry's name - Larry?) had an opening act and I wish I could remember the guys name because he was really funny! I'll snoop around and see if I can find out who it was, he's worth watching if you ever have the chance.

He introduced Larry TCG and the crowd went nuts! Our seats were directly in front of the stage, but in the stadium seats (not on the floor), so he looked a little tiny to us. However they had two big screen's you could also look at - which is what I watched most of the time. He was hilarious. He came waltzing out in his plaid shirt with cut off sleeves and jeans, baseball cap and bottle of water. Bren and I were screaming with everyone else... Richard was just looking at me (like i'm crazy) and Wayne was, well i'm not sure what Wayne was doing.

I've seen lots of concerts and a couple of famous people, but it was different when he came out. It was like we were finally seeing Larry The Cable Guy!!! This giant, huge, famous movie star who is unreachable, untouchable, almost a figment of our imagination and now he's here! He's real! and we're with him!!!

He has a new baby.... so you know where some of the jokes went. hahahaha. I think he might have gained some empathy weight. Not sure... just a hunch. He seemed tubbier than in the movie or DVD i've watched of him. *giggle*

The Freak Show

Even though we are a short four weeks away from wrapping up yet another semester, we have recently hired a new adjunct instructor. To say this gal is annoying to the max is a grievous understatement. She’s bossy, temperamental, and extremely demanding and by god we had all better quickly acquiesce to her orders! And did I mention she has what looks like a dark, stubbly beard? (WTF??) Ms Circe is far from alone in this accurate assessment of her. I’ve heard other complaints from coworkers about her lack of tact and patience. She stormed into my office yesterday to restate in a loud and huffy manner her dissatisfaction in regards to computer and phone issues she’s been experiencing. She also informed me she was not vacating my office until she spoke to someone about this. Now I had already turned in her problems via our work order system the day before but as no action had been taken she figured her physical presence would speed things along. With loud sighs of impatience, she glared at me from across the carpet and mentioned that it looked like no one cleaned my office either. Um, thanks for the compliment, lady! I kinda shrugged and ignored her rudeness. As part of the office relocation free-for-all, she reported that she had called maintenance and informed them she would not budge until her new digs (which she called a dungeon several times) were spit-shined. Not ones to succumb to veiled threats or leap off their large, lazy asses in a spurt of energy, they demonstrated their air of complete indifference by leaving a rag and vacuum cleaner for her personal use in her office!!! LMAO! Go maintenance! :)

Though Grand Poobah was yakking in the hallway, I could tell she had no intention of hurriedly entering our inner sanctum to appease Mz Bossy Boots. In quiet desperation I scuttled into GFR’s office and apprised him of the hostile takeover of our reception area. Helpful GFR offered to take matters in his own capable hands as he emerged from his cubbyhole and spoke in soft, soothing tones of placation in response to her loud, unhappy vocalizing, even promising to make a personal housecall and see if there was anything he could fix. What a gem! After she left, I expressed deep and sincere gratitude to our sweet, gentle IT angel. Sooner than she knows, this tantrum-riddled Problem Child will learn that the wheels of progress at Chaos College rarely veer off the redtape-riddled, weedy track.

Git R Done!

I'm so glad it's the weekend! My friend Bren and I have waited for this day.... for months. We're taking our stud-muffin hubbies to see Larry The Cable Guy. We're so not Redneck... but we (I think all of us minus Richard) crack up at this guy! I had tickets to see him a few years ago, but I gave them away to my sis and bro-n-law... they said its a good show.

The storms got us good last night. A couple of tornadoes were spotted in the metro area and one touched down about 8 miles from my house. This morning my weatherman said we're in for another round of severe storms this afternoon! I'm bout ready for this nasty stuff to be over. They cancelled all of our soccer games for this weekend due to the massive amounts of water. We went from being packed schedule... to nothing! I guess I'll have to clean my house or something....

Svetlana

First of all let me concur with Kerbear that monsoon season is upon us. I took advantage of a break in the raindrops to hit the gym and ponder life in all her glory. Plus I felt the urgent need to work off all those fattening calories I consumed at S’s luncheon yesterday. I must admit the repast was above par and most delicious. And they served four (count ‘em, four!) kinds of cheesecake forcing me to narrow the selection down to the tasty Turtle goodness.

Anyway, we have new employee in ITville and all I can say is she bears a striking resemblance to an East German shot-putter. It’s not that she has a bulky, muscular torso but rather her face that screams ‘eastern bloc national.’ She will henceforth be dubbed Svetlana for all intents and purposes. Up until this week she served as a student worker in another area but apparently the Grand Poobah has spirited her away to our nefarious lair thus replacing Psycho who is hunkered down in an adjacent part of the asylum. This will prove quite interesting as with the exception of GP and me, we staunchly remain a guy-infested department. Svetlana seems nice enough but she’s awfully quiet and she continuously steals discreet, nervous glances in my direction every time she passes my desk. It’s like she’s afraid I’m going to jump up and take a chunk out of her! I’m very puzzled by this as I was unaware of my rep as a biter. ; ) Only time will tell if our little ragtag gang of IT dorks bonds together in symbiotic teamplayerness.

Noah and the Ark

Today I have tons to talk about and I can't mention hardly any of it! I'm kinda sworn to secrecy.... for the time being. I'm busting at the seams too!

One tasty little secret is... there have been changes in Richard's office. Good changes too! That's all I will mention.... no names.... no details... but yipppeee!

Some of the other goods will come out in time... we must be patient (this is the hardest test for me!!! Richard failed miserably as his loose lips ran right to Eric!)

It's raining cats and dogs. I think literally. When I left my house this morning it was really nice. It was dark outside and I could vaguely make out where the storm clouds were *pointing way over there*, but then about two or three miles down the road the wind hit and wham-bam the rain hit. It was torrential rains! The normal interstate traffic slowed to 40-45mph... and that was pushing it. It was hard to see the road because of the pelting water. My favorite radio station was talking about the rain and how we're supposed to get 2 inches in an hour.... and then started playing It's Raining Men. hahaha

It felt like it! The rain was hitting that hard! I toyed with the idea of waiting in the MM until the rain subsided, but then I could be waiting for quite a long time too. I grabbed my umbrella and bag... and made a mad dash for the door. The 'mad dash' includes a long trek down a sidewalk where the awning only comes over HALF the sidewalk and has no guttering... so that means the water is dumping off the roof of the building. Plus, there is a big dip in the sidewalk where water sits... so you also wade through. Around a corner, down another long sidewalk (covered), through the smoking area and then a little blip on the sidewalk completely open to the rain (I had umbrella though), I dashed in the employee entrance completely drenched. My shirt was dry, but my shoes and feet were soaked, my pants were wet and somehow I got my hair wet. Must have been the blowing rain.

I'm glad we seeded our lawn last weekend. This rain will help our new baby grass grow!

Esopholopagus

My throat has been feeling funky for the last several weeks and I kept hoping it would just return to normal without medical intervention. This bout of Esopholopagus as I’ve termed it (not to be confused with Ker's recent attack of Strepacocopotomus) has been driving me to distraction but these past few days seemed to worsen so I finally broke down and called the doctor. (Let’s not even discuss what Dr. Kerbear and Patrick diagnosed it as!!! : - O) I have posted before about what a delicately balanced system (DBS) I possess, and I should have known it would be related to that and not the nasty crud that seemed to hit everyone and their dog these last few months. Though unable to clarify further, let’s just say things have been pressure-packed and stressful in both the work and home arena, and when this happens I get overwhelmed and anxious to the max invariably causing internal suffering. At any rate, I made an appointment and went in yesterday to learn that indeed stress was manifesting itself in a way it has done in the past and was prescribed a medication I have taken before. So after shelling out the copay and snagging the meds I arrived home to find the container-filled tablets have morphed into horsepills. Good freaking lord! Um, I’m not already nervous and haven’t had enough bad experiences with smaller pills getting stuck in my uncooperative throat? Right then and there my stress level rocketed skyward as I surveyed the huge oblong cylinders I am supposed to choke down. Deeply sighing, I resorted to chomping them to more palatable pieces and have hopefully put the recovery wheels in motion.

I Had Something, But Now Its Gone

I had the weirdest dream last night and I wanted to post it... but I can't remember any of it now! I hate it when that happens. I remember it being freaky, and I woke up thinking 'I need to post that'. Now I can't share it :(

So... My new laptop came in yesterday and all morning I've been installing programs I want/need and importing bookmarks and tweeking this and that. I love new toys!

Richard brought home the most beautiful flowers for me yesterday. He's such a sweetie. He also wrote a card full of lovely things like 'how important' I am and 'how beautiful', etc. I love you, Richard! xoxoXOxxXoooOXo (Nacho Libre)

One of our friends is getting married - I think quicker than we thought (can I blog this Rich?) They had planned on a long engagement and a trip to Ireland for the honeymoon... but that was abruptly changed this past weekend. We might be hearing little pitter patter of feet in their household soon! Congrats and best wishes!

Queen Bee

Having worked at our institution of higher learning for many years, I’ve seen coworkers come and go. This Friday sees the Most Exalted Poobah’s illustrious assistant retiring and it is with mixed feelings I will bid her adieu. S has been a steadfast fixture in Chaos College’s finely woven fabric since time immemorial and I will deeply miss her. It’s not easy being the sole beacon of class and deportment at that isolated end of the lonely hall. Though you reign supreme above all other assistants and your job duties are light in comparison, you represent the very epitome of regality and class and therefore your close associates are few and far between. Some may think your job is easy and you are nothing more than a glorified lackey, but I of all people know what it’s like to temporarily walk in your fashionable heels. Privy to many higher echelon secrets, your constant motto is 'discretion is the better part of valor' and I have never seen your crown of righteousness slip even once. Relatively few know the real activities that occur on a daily basis from your perspective but I do know and give credit where credit is due. Some may see the standoffish woman who knows her job inside and out but fail to see your occasional humorous inclinations. On the flip side, I’ve most definitely felt your displeasure when I failed in some way to meet your high expectations. Yet nothing is more enjoyable than watching the look of extreme disgust pass over your transparent face when I reveal something that I know will prompt the ‘oh brother’ look. While I feel certain you view me as a responsible backup I hope you also discern a fellow comrade-in-arms. Here is wishing all the best as we part work ways and hoping you look back fondly on your time spent with us. You will be sorely missed.

Another Way to Do Squats

In public restrooms you always use the toilet seat covers and if there aren't any available, you improvise and line the seat with toilet paper. Sometimes, you have to just hover. (Use the leg muscles to hold yourself up while you pee... so you dont touch the nastiness on the seat).

There are some restrooms where you cover the seat with the liner and hover anyways. It was just that nasty.

Dillards Department Store.

I HATE WALMART

Note: lots of graphic language in this one.

I will never go there again! I f'ing hate that place! Besides the fact they hire the nasty of the nasties and their checkers are never checking.... they have the most idiotic register program for self-checkout!

I never do self checkout because it never works. Ever. EVER! But today I was just getting some gum so I thought surely, it could handle one little item.

I scanned my gum and hit the button to pay. I had a gift card (whole other f'ing walmart story. I did a return and instead of giving me my money back, they insisted on doing a flipping giftcard!), so I chose that little button for Wal-Mart gift cards. It said 'swipe your card', so I swiped.

THEN it said 'this card not recognized' and went back to the 'please swipe your card' screen. I double checked the card. Yep... definately a Wal-Mart gift card (thought maybe i'd grabbed my Express card instead or something). I swiped again. Nothing. So I waved over the old geezer working the 'Self-Checker - because all of our crap is just a POS - helper counter' and told him that I swiped the gift card but it said it wasn't recognized. He asked "is it a Wal-Mart gift card?" Well.... its SAYS Wal-Mart on it! I said... yes...

He then starts this shit:
Geezer: How many times did you swipe?
Me: twice
Geezer: Well, lets look at what this little lady is doing.

He shifted our attention to the wal-mart scanner screen... NOT the paypad where you scan your card and complete your transaction... which is where all of this crap had been taking place.

Me: why do I care? I just want to use that card
Geezer: Well, what is she doing? Lets watch her and see what she does.
Me: No. It says my card is not recognizable.
Geezer: If you watch, you will see that she is doing this *takes hand and waves it over the scanner*

Yea, i'm totally not seeing that AND since I can read English, i'm reading the card reader machine and doing what it tells me. IT's not taking the card.

Geezer: Just watch and you tell me what she is doing.

I'm so totally pissed at this moment that I'm fixing to pop the old goat in the jaw. I look around to see if a manager happens to be walking by so I can get this old shit in trouble.
I'm not paying attention, and it's obvious to him that he's fixing to die because i'm going to choke the ever loving shit out of him.

Geezer: Let me show you.

He takes my card and swipes it over the scanner and then the little lady in the picture changes back to the opening screen as if to start scanning again.

Geezer: See, you needed to scan it.
Me: The card reader said to SWIPE the card again.
Geezer: You need to watch the picture and she will show you what to do. It said scan.
Me: No. I know what it said and it said SWIPE THE CARD AGAIN.

I ripped my receipt out of his hand and headed to the door.

Geezer: I'm sorry to embarrass you!

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned around to tell him 'oh, I am NOT embarrassed!' I was so pissed off at the highest point of pisstivity it wasnt even funny! He was two seconds away from getting the crap beat out of him.

OBVIOUSLY from his desire to give lessons, they have problems with their little POS system. Why in the world would anyone swipe their card to pay and go BACK to watch the little girl to see what she did when on the keypad it SAID to swipe the card again!? There is a difference between swipe and scan.

I will Never go to Wal-Mart again.

Target it where it's at.

Little Puffs of Air

The last few weeks I've been going to yoga class. I was hesitant in the beginning, because of all the pretzel-like positions I was afraid i'd hurt my lower back even more than the car wreck did, but i've found that it's helped. I'm guessing all the stretching is a good thing because for the first time in months I havent battled daily lower back aches and pains.

My sis and I had discussed heading out to the Hornets game last night, but that meant we'd miss our new-found love. Yoga. Seeing the Hornets play meant, money spent and fattening food... Yoga meant stretching and strengthening and relaxation. We went to Yoga.

The class was almost a complete 50/50 male/female class. My sis was in front of me and Richard behind me. Next to Sheri and I were two men, and next to Richard was an older woman. We twisted and stretched for a good half hour when we headed for the floor for some ab work. We reached and crunched and raised and lowered legs and then heard 'ppfffffttttttttttttttt'

Someone farted!

Sheri and I, being the fun-loving girls that we are, looked at each other and busted up laughing. We laughed as quietly as we could but we rolled... it was uncontrollable! I knew for sure the teacher lady was going to seperate us. Richard gave us dirty stares as if to say 'shut the hell up!' Which made us laugh even harder. I'd get all settled down and dang it if I didnt look at Sheri and she's silently laughing with her face buried in the mat. I could see her body bouncing as if on a trampoline. I'd crack up again. I leaned over and said 'if you dont stop... you're gonna make me laugh so hard I'll fart!'

She laughed even more.... and clinched her butt to make sure she didn't rip one.

We kind of got it under control when it was time to roll over on our tummies to do lower back. We reached back to grab our ankles and bow our backs and directly in front of me was the culprit. My face was directly in the line of fire and I could see his butt cheeks clinched. I busted up laughing. Sheri laughed. We settled down... then I looked at Richard and saw that he was faced the same way we were (all serious and deeply into his stretch), however the ONE and ONLY person in the room that chose to face the opposite way was the lady next to him and she was holding her ankles with her back bowed.... looking directly at him with her boobs hanging out all over the place! They were all up in Richard's face. He could have latched on and nursed those suckers. I busted up laughing. He was trying to look down. I looked at Sheri, she was looking and busted up laughing.

*couple more of Richard's 'shut the hell up' looks inserted here*

After class, Richard grabbed his mat and walked past us out the door! Sheri said 'whats wrong with him!?' I had no idea. We walked out and he was gone. She said 'where did Richard go!?' I told her he must have gone to the bathroom... and complete silence between the two of us. She looked at me and said 'you don't think maybe it was Richard that farted, do you!?!?!?'

We cracked up laughing! Laughed all the way to the front door... got outside and Richard asked us 'what the heck is going on!?!?' We asked him if he ripped one... he said NO! So we told him the whole story...

He said he was trying so hard not to look at the lady with the jugs and was staring at the floor because she was 'right there'. He could have reached out and touched her. She was staring right into his eyes the entire time we were in that position.

He said.... 'you two are crazy!!!' muuuuahahahhaha THEN he adds that we're like Beavis and Butthead. Sheri is Butthead. lol

Next class, I bet Sheri and I get seperated. Just like in school.

Ego Annie

Isn’t it funny how an unexpected phone call can bring memories flooding back? Last week I was left a voicemail from a name I most definitely knew from the distant, fog-shrouded past. Ah yes, Annie. Our youthful, spoiled, blonde minion who thought she was better than all the rest of us combined. Back in the stone age, my office was across the hallway as I assisted a different department and Ms. Annie briefly played the role of switchboard operator. Several operators have come and gone during my employment here and I’ve experienced amicable relations with one and all, until her... Lovely though she was, her lowly rank failed to squelch her lofty opinion of herself as she felt she deserved all the amenities due those of lengthier employment and more complex duties. Hence the clash. No, it wasn’t overt, but it was subtly felt and completely discerned nevertheless. I recall two specific occasions when we went toe-to-toe on this difference of opinion. Switchboard chicks usually took their lunch hour later than the majority of employees as a fill-in was required to relieve them. Ms. Wonderful insisted on a noon lunch hour to coincide with her darling husband’s schedule. My spineless boss meekly caved in to her demands and had us alternate the coveted hour. Demerits for him. On another occasion, a beloved coworker passed away and though the princess’ employment had been very brief and her passing acquaintance with this colleague extremely suspect, our precocious child petulantly begged to attend the funeral and once again my jellyfish superior capitulated and asked me to stay behind. These and other instances kept a cordial relationship from developing but one day I discovered a closely-guarded secret she had kept from everyone and my whole attitude changed. After her daily noon visit to a local diner accompanied by her better half, she made a speedy pit-stop into the ‘think tank’ before returning to her afternoon duties. I happened to be the next visitor and my horrified eyes discovered the undisclosed mystery behind her weight maintenance program. There to my wondrous eyes was obvious evidence of undigested food that had stubbornly refused to flush. I felt shock followed by deep sadness. How could I dislike this troubled soul after stumbling upon this closely-guarded skeleton? My dislike for her evaporated like the morning mist and it wasn’t long after that she moved on to greener pastures. I hope she slew those inner demons and that her life has since followed smoother pathways.

hugs,

circe

Morning Drive

It's no secret that i'm not a big fan of Julia Roberts but it always seems i'm the only one that has such disinterest in her or her acting. Her starring in a movie is not going to draw me closer to seeing it. Chances are, i'll skip it.

BUT this morning while listening to my beloved Rock 100.5 THE KATT, Rick and Brad were discussing Hollywood's hottest moms (of course Angelina Jolie Pitt came first) and in the lineup was Julia Roberts. One of them was listing the momma's... and when it came to Julia, the other one said 'no! She grosses me out. She is not hot!'

Thank you! Thank you very much. Someone finally sees it my way! She isn't 'Pretty Woman' and should not have been cast in that movie. She has the same dorky screaming loud laugh in every movie which I remember first being in Pretty Woman. It seems like she plays the same charcter, different movie title.

They continued on with the list: Angelina, Reese Witherspoon, Gwenyth Paltrow, Demi Moore, and then got to talking about Demi Moore's oldest daughter, Rumer.

You know how Brad Pitt and Angelina had Shiloh and she's the prettiest little baby!? She has two gorgeous parents and they made a beautiful child. Well here's a case where two good looking people did not create beautiful offspring. This oldest daughter got the worst traits of each parent and it's not pretty. She looks like a Mr Potato Head with all the wrong parts.

I never did think she was attractive either.