Party Central

The honoree holding the tape I bestowed upon him. He always "borrowed" my tape so I thought I'd send him off with his very own. (Too bad I didn't throw in a dispenser hehehe)



The site of the bash replete with a very droopy fern.



Best wishes, dear Will. It won't be the same here without you!

hugs,
circe

Will Week

As I’ve mentioned in an earlier post, a dear sweet tech leaves us at the end of this week and his going away party is this afternoon. Throwing on the ole apron last night, I whipped up a delicious homemade Italian Cream Cake in his honor. It was all I could do not to discreetly slice off a piece for “testing purposes” but willpower prevailed and it remained untouched and unmolested. Grand Poobah purchased two large cheesecakes so between that and the forthcoming balloons and departmentally-signed card, we are good to go. So help me if the Food Mooch comes within a country mile of that specially-made confection, I will bitch slap him into next week. His drool and germs are hereby verboten and that rule shall be harshly enforced. Also, after two glorious, carefree, halcyon days, Water Buffalo is back wandering our hallways, poking her unwanted nose into Admin’s business and chatting with her buds. Her office has been relocated back to its original building and with the exception of picking up her mail, has no business annoying coworkers stationed in my compound. I have no doubt her meddlesome snout will be shoved into the foodstuffs as she forages for tasty sustenance during the celebratory repast. Such is life.

My Humps

Today is my one year Anniversary.

One year ago today, Richard and I got married.... whooohooo!

Little did he realize that exactly one year later he'd be sitting in the doctor's office listening to the heartbeat of his first baby.

Yep. I'm preggers. We're not sure of a due date yet. The best I can come up with is December 3rd, but the doctor seems to think it's sooner than that. She's doing more tests to try to determine the date.

Richard is so excited! I doubt he gets much work done this afternoon. He was all grins as we left the doctors office and even bigger grins all through lunch. He was going to get to tell Eric that he heard the baby's heartbeat. He said at first he thought he was hearing mine... but then Misty clarified with "well, one heartbeat... that's good!"

*wiping sweat from brow* yes.... that is very good!

Wanderlust

I had a rough time falling asleep last night as vacation destinations tripped merrily though my spinning head. It was about this time last year that we visited the DR and I just loved it. Another Caribbean adventure is most definitely on the back burner and most likely happening early next year. TBC and I haven’t road tripped in awhile so that will be next up on the getaway agenda. It’s been entirely too long since our last Wine & Sex tour and I think we plan on making up for that come the end of June. I like to keep a journal of each day’s activities and I had fun tripping down memory lane last night as I reread my thoughts from vacations gone by. Sis and I had a lively conversation regarding what year we went where as we’ve done OBX together twice and Cali once. It’s always a toss-up whether we point the vehicle east or west as both have their advantages but so far Wagons East is winning the holiday lottery. After all, both hometowns are in that direction and he yearns for the nearness of NY while I perceive Cleveland’s plaintive call. Repeat after me: “There’s no place like home.”

You Just Never Know

I've had a great birthday weekend, but with a sad note.

This morning, my VP (there are several in the company, but the one I report to) called... and I should have known something was amiss. Bill wouldnt just call me on a Sunday morning, Easter morning at that... AND through the call center. We chatted for a minute about our weekend and then he hit me with I have some bad news.

My immediate boss, the one who hired me a year ago... the one I have thoroughly enjoyed working with... the one who is easy going and supportive... passed away suddenly last night while on an Easter egg hunt. I was shocked. Stunned. Sick to my stomache. He was only in his mid-forties. Friday I sat in his office for an hour while we chatted up a storm. We made short term and long range plans for our department and employees. We talked about our goals and projects. He was in a great mood... he looked like he felt good and looked rested. I (nor anyone else) even thought this was going to be the last time we saw him.

I'm sick about the whole thing. I finally get the opportunity to have a manager that is hands down the best... and it's short lived. At Chaos College.... that one just wouldnt go away! She was mean and destroyed everything that crossed her path.... and she's still there! Yet, the one that is so good to his employees, and any of us would have bent over backwards for him... he's gone.

My heart goes out to his wife and son.

Happy Easter... don't eat too much chocolate.

Bikinis & Snowboots

Yes gang, the calendar shows the date of April 6 today and the rebellious sky is spitting out frozen drops of white here in Okieland! And it’s expected to continue off and on throughout the afternoon. After hitting dizzying heights of 70-80 degrees, the erratic pendulum has swung the other way. The latest snowfall I remember was on April 2 so a new record may have been broken. Guess I’ll dig out my arctic gear again from the depths of the cavernous cardboard box.

Tomorrow will mark the one year Sadaversary since my Esteemed Colleague deserted me for greener pastures. I miss her terribly but the one thing we can say for an absolute certainty is things forever change and never say never. Cryptic, but true. ;)

And though these conditions are not in the immediate forecast (so far) for this week, I thought it would do us all good to review our handy dandy Tornado Tips during our spring storm season:

Tornado Safety
Spring is tornado season. The National Weather Service recommends taking these safety measures:

1. In the event of a tornado, lie down in a ditch. If you are already lying in a ditch, do not attempt to sit up.
2. The most important thing is to stay calm. This will be difficult, since you are almost certainly going to die.
3. Tornadoes spook easily. Firing a few warning shots into the air is usually enough to scare them off.
4. Live a little for once: Strap yourself to the roof of your house and rage at the heavens.
5. Prevent tornadoes before they happen: Make sure that warm, moist air fronts do not converge with cool, dry ones.
6. During a tornado, the only safe place is in my loving arms. Come here, baby.
7. If a tornado strikes your home, even your basement could be dangerous, so construct a basement for your basement.
8. If you spot a tornado, always remember to point at it, yell “tornado!,” and run like hell.

Call the Fire Department

Men are so transparent. They think they are being sneaky or 'pulling one over on ya' but little do they know that you know. It cracks me up to watch them try to be so smart. HAHAHA They think they are getting away with something. HAHAHA
That's all i'm going to say about that....

Tomorrow is my birthday! As Circe pointed out, the day also marks the one year anniversary of my last day at Chaos College. Although I miss her dearly, I have not one time missed that place. I loved my job and I miss my friends, but my headaches and stomache ache and general depressed feeling has been gone for a year now. *happy dance* This blog has been good for us... we've been able to keep in touch and be our evil little selves via technology. *bigger happy dance*.

Tonite my parents are taking me out for my birthday, and tomorrow has been declared Kerry Day, so we get to do whatever I want. Which means, soccer games. haha Richard is taking me out to dinner and I've announced I want to go see Blades of Glory with Will Ferrel. I also want to see I Think I love My Wife and Richard wants to see 300, so maybe we'll just make it a movie night.

It's also supposed to be pretty chilly tomorrow... high's in the 40's and a chance of snow! So its a perfect day/night for 'movie night'.

Happy Birthday to me!

Soccer Woes

We're big soccer fans and all week long we practice, then every weekend we're consumed with game after game after game. Last weekend was perfect weather. I sat and watched C play, chatted with other parents and worked on some tannage. It's been nice weather... til today. It's only in the 50's and the forecast is even suggesting maybe snow possibilites for saturday... the high's in the 40's. We have soccer games scheduled!

There is nothing worse than attending a soccer game in the freezing cold... PLUS the wind chill makes it feel like 30 below. When you're out on soccer fields there are no trees or buildings to block the Oklahoma winds. This is so gonna suck.

Zombies & Hookers

Yesterday our hallowed halls hosted the annual academic contest and once again our campus swarmed with scholarly children in anxious pursuit of that coveted mass-produced certificate I kick out from my trusty printer. Or maybe they actually hope to garner first or second prize in their area of expertise and snag a scholarship to our worthy institution. Though failing to obtain our usual conference room thanks to the shake-ups in workplace locales, we hunkered down in my reception area and did processing duty. Things went quite smoothly and the kiddos departed by late afternoon.

A soon-to-be-departing faculty member enjoys passing by my desk daily and razzing me about my intent, prissy typing and how my evil red VM button is forever lit revealing to one and all my gross dereliction of duties! (Whatever, T!) Anyway, when he popped his head in this morning he asked if I’d like a part in his new movie and I had the choice of zombie or hooker. Hmm, wonder which character I am more suitable for…

It’s funny how things work out sometimes. Doors open and close with wild abandon and without warning, loudly slam tightly shut and lock behind you. And though fully aware of the reason, it still deeply and painfully breaks your heart and echoes in your soul. And the agonizingly slow mourning process begins. Sometimes all we can do is hope and pray our essence will live on in the special secret place nestled deep in a friend’s heart. Till our paths cross again, “ciao bella.” *blows kiss to the north wind*

Vegas Recreation

Richard and I, along with a few more friends, are heading out to Vegas in May and I've been trying to figure out which show(s) I want to take him to. I've seen Blue Man Group, Fantasy, Stomp, and Stars on Ice. We both love comedy, and and hypnotists always sound like fun but I don't want to be one of the people that get sucked out of the audience and put onstage.... so that kinda makes me skiddish. I think he'd enjoy Stripper 101, Bite, Crazy Girls (I'm trying to talk him into Thunder From Down Under... *giggle*).

I just can't decide. There are so many choices!

Bright Lights, Big City

I had a very busy weekend with R & R not being any part of the equation. Saturday, sis and I went to T-Town for a scrumptious Italian cooking class using gallons of butter and wine (definitely not for the diet-conscious). This place has a store out front which sells cooking implements and an enormous utensil-laden kitchen for holding classes. Our instructor was entertaining and knowledgeable and the approximately 20 in attendance had an enjoyable afternoon watching and eating her delicious creations. The time flew and before we knew it, our gastronomic journey ended. I purchased her cookbook, had it personally signed, and sis and I have definite plans to recreate this heavenly repast for the men.

We also picked up some fledgling trees from sis’ sis-in-law and I got to meet her mentally-challenged cat, Tabitha. She reminded me so much of Spikey what with her attractive looks and pissy demeanor. Home Depot was also on the agenda and we had fun wandering its home improvement aisles. I am always drawn to the twinkling lights and had several gorgeous chandeliers picked out for my wish list before we vacated the premises.

Unable to pass up a visit to the appealing mall, I had my list ready for items I adore but am unable to find in Podunkville. We zipped around the place as I hit the stores scooping up my needed (ok, wanted) articles. One window display that stopped us in our tracks was the most gorgeous, sexy, fairy tale vision of enchanting feminine loveliness in the guise of a white prom dress. Barbie dolls should wear this exquisite creation. It was the most beautiful outfit I have ever seen and I just wish I had whipped out the phone and snapped it’s pic for your nodding approval. *deep sigh* Skipping the arousing lingerie, I found my beloved, sweet-scented body cream in VS and grabbed a bottle of my all-time favorite silky skin lotion at The Body Shop. Checking the sales at Dillards (yes Ker, I used the bathroom and it wasn’t particularly clean) I came up empty but found the perfect shoes to go with my khaki skirt in Payless. The highlight of our adventure occurred in this store when sis received an unexpected text message from an unknown number that simply said, “boobies.” I could hear her laughing her butt off in the other aisle but had no idea what had caused this fit of hilarity. When I found her she showed me the message and said she had texted back, “wrong number!” and had received a sheepish reply of “k.” I told her I would more likely have come back with the sassy retort of “cooters!” ;)

Sometimes We Get Screwed

This just irritates me.

It's true...

At one of my previous employers I was told (by the next dog in line) that women were paid according to what their husbands made. That just pissed me off. Its none of their business what your hubby makes AND he's not doing your job!

But here's what the article says to do:

1. Research the going rates in your field, by checking out salary ranges in want ads and on Web sites like salary.com. Then ask for the high end of the spectrum. It's easier to negotiate down than up.

2. "No" often means "Not now." Even if a pay hike just isn't in the budget at the moment, that doesn't mean it never will be. Don't get discouraged.

3. Negotiate more than plain dollars and cents. Your total compensation might include other items you may want more of, like performance bonuses, profit sharing, paid time off, flexible work hours, tuition reimbursement, and club memberships.

4. Act confident (even if you don't feel it). Communicate with authority. "Perceived confidence has a big impact," Stanny says.

5. Remember, the best time to negotiate is when you have other offers.

6. Have points prepared and build a case around your value and what you bring to the company.

Regardless of who I work for now and in the future.. I will never discuss my husbands job or pay. Ever. Not all men pay women unfairly, but I'm not taking that chance.

We Got It Done!

We saw Larry The Cable Guy.

Despite torrential.... and I mean torrential... downpours, we met Bren and Wayne at the Brewery for dinner and drinks and then headed over to catch the act. Larry (is that his real name? We had a big discussion about that because Ron White is Ron White's name and he uses it... so is Larry's name - Larry?) had an opening act and I wish I could remember the guys name because he was really funny! I'll snoop around and see if I can find out who it was, he's worth watching if you ever have the chance.

He introduced Larry TCG and the crowd went nuts! Our seats were directly in front of the stage, but in the stadium seats (not on the floor), so he looked a little tiny to us. However they had two big screen's you could also look at - which is what I watched most of the time. He was hilarious. He came waltzing out in his plaid shirt with cut off sleeves and jeans, baseball cap and bottle of water. Bren and I were screaming with everyone else... Richard was just looking at me (like i'm crazy) and Wayne was, well i'm not sure what Wayne was doing.

I've seen lots of concerts and a couple of famous people, but it was different when he came out. It was like we were finally seeing Larry The Cable Guy!!! This giant, huge, famous movie star who is unreachable, untouchable, almost a figment of our imagination and now he's here! He's real! and we're with him!!!

He has a new baby.... so you know where some of the jokes went. hahahaha. I think he might have gained some empathy weight. Not sure... just a hunch. He seemed tubbier than in the movie or DVD i've watched of him. *giggle*

The Freak Show

Even though we are a short four weeks away from wrapping up yet another semester, we have recently hired a new adjunct instructor. To say this gal is annoying to the max is a grievous understatement. She’s bossy, temperamental, and extremely demanding and by god we had all better quickly acquiesce to her orders! And did I mention she has what looks like a dark, stubbly beard? (WTF??) Ms Circe is far from alone in this accurate assessment of her. I’ve heard other complaints from coworkers about her lack of tact and patience. She stormed into my office yesterday to restate in a loud and huffy manner her dissatisfaction in regards to computer and phone issues she’s been experiencing. She also informed me she was not vacating my office until she spoke to someone about this. Now I had already turned in her problems via our work order system the day before but as no action had been taken she figured her physical presence would speed things along. With loud sighs of impatience, she glared at me from across the carpet and mentioned that it looked like no one cleaned my office either. Um, thanks for the compliment, lady! I kinda shrugged and ignored her rudeness. As part of the office relocation free-for-all, she reported that she had called maintenance and informed them she would not budge until her new digs (which she called a dungeon several times) were spit-shined. Not ones to succumb to veiled threats or leap off their large, lazy asses in a spurt of energy, they demonstrated their air of complete indifference by leaving a rag and vacuum cleaner for her personal use in her office!!! LMAO! Go maintenance! :)

Though Grand Poobah was yakking in the hallway, I could tell she had no intention of hurriedly entering our inner sanctum to appease Mz Bossy Boots. In quiet desperation I scuttled into GFR’s office and apprised him of the hostile takeover of our reception area. Helpful GFR offered to take matters in his own capable hands as he emerged from his cubbyhole and spoke in soft, soothing tones of placation in response to her loud, unhappy vocalizing, even promising to make a personal housecall and see if there was anything he could fix. What a gem! After she left, I expressed deep and sincere gratitude to our sweet, gentle IT angel. Sooner than she knows, this tantrum-riddled Problem Child will learn that the wheels of progress at Chaos College rarely veer off the redtape-riddled, weedy track.

Git R Done!

I'm so glad it's the weekend! My friend Bren and I have waited for this day.... for months. We're taking our stud-muffin hubbies to see Larry The Cable Guy. We're so not Redneck... but we (I think all of us minus Richard) crack up at this guy! I had tickets to see him a few years ago, but I gave them away to my sis and bro-n-law... they said its a good show.

The storms got us good last night. A couple of tornadoes were spotted in the metro area and one touched down about 8 miles from my house. This morning my weatherman said we're in for another round of severe storms this afternoon! I'm bout ready for this nasty stuff to be over. They cancelled all of our soccer games for this weekend due to the massive amounts of water. We went from being packed schedule... to nothing! I guess I'll have to clean my house or something....

Svetlana

First of all let me concur with Kerbear that monsoon season is upon us. I took advantage of a break in the raindrops to hit the gym and ponder life in all her glory. Plus I felt the urgent need to work off all those fattening calories I consumed at S’s luncheon yesterday. I must admit the repast was above par and most delicious. And they served four (count ‘em, four!) kinds of cheesecake forcing me to narrow the selection down to the tasty Turtle goodness.

Anyway, we have new employee in ITville and all I can say is she bears a striking resemblance to an East German shot-putter. It’s not that she has a bulky, muscular torso but rather her face that screams ‘eastern bloc national.’ She will henceforth be dubbed Svetlana for all intents and purposes. Up until this week she served as a student worker in another area but apparently the Grand Poobah has spirited her away to our nefarious lair thus replacing Psycho who is hunkered down in an adjacent part of the asylum. This will prove quite interesting as with the exception of GP and me, we staunchly remain a guy-infested department. Svetlana seems nice enough but she’s awfully quiet and she continuously steals discreet, nervous glances in my direction every time she passes my desk. It’s like she’s afraid I’m going to jump up and take a chunk out of her! I’m very puzzled by this as I was unaware of my rep as a biter. ; ) Only time will tell if our little ragtag gang of IT dorks bonds together in symbiotic teamplayerness.

Noah and the Ark

Today I have tons to talk about and I can't mention hardly any of it! I'm kinda sworn to secrecy.... for the time being. I'm busting at the seams too!

One tasty little secret is... there have been changes in Richard's office. Good changes too! That's all I will mention.... no names.... no details... but yipppeee!

Some of the other goods will come out in time... we must be patient (this is the hardest test for me!!! Richard failed miserably as his loose lips ran right to Eric!)

It's raining cats and dogs. I think literally. When I left my house this morning it was really nice. It was dark outside and I could vaguely make out where the storm clouds were *pointing way over there*, but then about two or three miles down the road the wind hit and wham-bam the rain hit. It was torrential rains! The normal interstate traffic slowed to 40-45mph... and that was pushing it. It was hard to see the road because of the pelting water. My favorite radio station was talking about the rain and how we're supposed to get 2 inches in an hour.... and then started playing It's Raining Men. hahaha

It felt like it! The rain was hitting that hard! I toyed with the idea of waiting in the MM until the rain subsided, but then I could be waiting for quite a long time too. I grabbed my umbrella and bag... and made a mad dash for the door. The 'mad dash' includes a long trek down a sidewalk where the awning only comes over HALF the sidewalk and has no guttering... so that means the water is dumping off the roof of the building. Plus, there is a big dip in the sidewalk where water sits... so you also wade through. Around a corner, down another long sidewalk (covered), through the smoking area and then a little blip on the sidewalk completely open to the rain (I had umbrella though), I dashed in the employee entrance completely drenched. My shirt was dry, but my shoes and feet were soaked, my pants were wet and somehow I got my hair wet. Must have been the blowing rain.

I'm glad we seeded our lawn last weekend. This rain will help our new baby grass grow!

Esopholopagus

My throat has been feeling funky for the last several weeks and I kept hoping it would just return to normal without medical intervention. This bout of Esopholopagus as I’ve termed it (not to be confused with Ker's recent attack of Strepacocopotomus) has been driving me to distraction but these past few days seemed to worsen so I finally broke down and called the doctor. (Let’s not even discuss what Dr. Kerbear and Patrick diagnosed it as!!! : - O) I have posted before about what a delicately balanced system (DBS) I possess, and I should have known it would be related to that and not the nasty crud that seemed to hit everyone and their dog these last few months. Though unable to clarify further, let’s just say things have been pressure-packed and stressful in both the work and home arena, and when this happens I get overwhelmed and anxious to the max invariably causing internal suffering. At any rate, I made an appointment and went in yesterday to learn that indeed stress was manifesting itself in a way it has done in the past and was prescribed a medication I have taken before. So after shelling out the copay and snagging the meds I arrived home to find the container-filled tablets have morphed into horsepills. Good freaking lord! Um, I’m not already nervous and haven’t had enough bad experiences with smaller pills getting stuck in my uncooperative throat? Right then and there my stress level rocketed skyward as I surveyed the huge oblong cylinders I am supposed to choke down. Deeply sighing, I resorted to chomping them to more palatable pieces and have hopefully put the recovery wheels in motion.

I Had Something, But Now Its Gone

I had the weirdest dream last night and I wanted to post it... but I can't remember any of it now! I hate it when that happens. I remember it being freaky, and I woke up thinking 'I need to post that'. Now I can't share it :(

So... My new laptop came in yesterday and all morning I've been installing programs I want/need and importing bookmarks and tweeking this and that. I love new toys!

Richard brought home the most beautiful flowers for me yesterday. He's such a sweetie. He also wrote a card full of lovely things like 'how important' I am and 'how beautiful', etc. I love you, Richard! xoxoXOxxXoooOXo (Nacho Libre)

One of our friends is getting married - I think quicker than we thought (can I blog this Rich?) They had planned on a long engagement and a trip to Ireland for the honeymoon... but that was abruptly changed this past weekend. We might be hearing little pitter patter of feet in their household soon! Congrats and best wishes!

Queen Bee

Having worked at our institution of higher learning for many years, I’ve seen coworkers come and go. This Friday sees the Most Exalted Poobah’s illustrious assistant retiring and it is with mixed feelings I will bid her adieu. S has been a steadfast fixture in Chaos College’s finely woven fabric since time immemorial and I will deeply miss her. It’s not easy being the sole beacon of class and deportment at that isolated end of the lonely hall. Though you reign supreme above all other assistants and your job duties are light in comparison, you represent the very epitome of regality and class and therefore your close associates are few and far between. Some may think your job is easy and you are nothing more than a glorified lackey, but I of all people know what it’s like to temporarily walk in your fashionable heels. Privy to many higher echelon secrets, your constant motto is 'discretion is the better part of valor' and I have never seen your crown of righteousness slip even once. Relatively few know the real activities that occur on a daily basis from your perspective but I do know and give credit where credit is due. Some may see the standoffish woman who knows her job inside and out but fail to see your occasional humorous inclinations. On the flip side, I’ve most definitely felt your displeasure when I failed in some way to meet your high expectations. Yet nothing is more enjoyable than watching the look of extreme disgust pass over your transparent face when I reveal something that I know will prompt the ‘oh brother’ look. While I feel certain you view me as a responsible backup I hope you also discern a fellow comrade-in-arms. Here is wishing all the best as we part work ways and hoping you look back fondly on your time spent with us. You will be sorely missed.