Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Insomniac


Greetings gang and welcome to Wishful Wednesday. I don’t know how many of you are like me but I suffer from a degree of chronic insomnia and have for as long as I can remember. Lately it’s gotten worse. Ever since carefree childhood, that selective sandman has eluded me for 30 minutes minimum and more often than not, a prolonged, interminable hour. Many are the nights I toss and turn for lengthier increments as I vainly try to locate the 'off switch' to my busy brain. Yes, I’m an avid and relentless deliberator and have frequently been informed I ‘think too much’ (and you know who you are :P). Unfortunately, bedtime is usually my first chance to review/mull/ruminate over the current day/future plans/thorny problems and my mind starts furiously clicking away at the most inopportune moments. Boring reading occasionally proves helpful and I have found Jane Austen’s collection of works to be the most snooze-friendly (sorry Jane). But the more usual method resorted to is medicating myself, reluctantly traveling that precarious pill route. Guess one has to do what one has to do…

Our favorite unkempt, scraggly-haired electrician is on campus today in preparation for a city-wide power outage arranged for tonight. He popped his head around the corner and proceeded to regale Grand Poobah and me with totally inappropriate humorous answers to a factual questionnaire. He is a total mess but we like him. When Esteemed Colleague was employed here, Mr. GQ had quite the crush on her and would vainly entice her to his dating lair. She stubbornly resisted those unsolicited attempts much to his chagrin. Ah well, a better man was in store for our lovely KerrBear. :)

And finally, klutzy Circe managed to send her full cup of wakeup juice flying across her peripheral computer desk thus giving various objects an early morning invigorating shower. It could have been much worse as the keyboard and preshus pricey cellphone were spared the caffeine drenching. GFR then proceeded to imitate your humble IT frontwoman in a show of empathetic solidarity. Thanks babe!

The Topfive.com’s 15 "Star Wars" Euphemisms for Masturbation

15> Shooting Womprats in Beggar's Canyon

14> Grooming the Wookie

13> Making the Kessel Run

12> Polishing Vader's Helmet

11> Evacuating Tatooine

10> Unsheathing the Meatsaber

9> Releasing the Special Edition

8> Jumping to Delight Speed

7> Communicating with Red Leader One

6> Lightsaber Practice with Captain Solo

5> Tinkering With the R2 Unit

4> Manually Targeting the Rebel Base

3> Performing the Jedi Hand Trick

2> Scratching Yoda Behind the Ears

1> Test Firing the Death Star

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Of all the tricks perpetrated on humans, that whole sheep-counting malarky has to be the most egregious.

I mean, come ON! Sheep? How about counting llamas? Now there's a REAL snorer. Or tapirs. Llamas or tapirs.

Sheep. Ppfft.


Wombat

Kerry said...

Just so you know... NyQuil doesnt help you go to sleep either. Been there, done that!

Tell our favorite electrician Hello for me ;)

Grant said...

This sounds like a job for...Maker's Mark.

Circe said...

Wombat-I agree. Sheep?! It might work if it were sheep with reading glasses on poring over Jane Austen novels... ;)

Ker-If I see him on campus I'll be sure to do that. Should I tell him he's 'HOT?' lmao

Grant-maybe I'm stupid but what is Maker's Mark? *scratches head*

Circe said...
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