Officious Offerings

MSN has just been very helpful with VD-related articles so to help those romantic souls out there in Blogland, here are the 10 worst V-Day gifts. For further discussion, their URL gives the reasons why, and some alternate gift-giving solutions. Enjoy! Personally, I prefer this site. :)

”Choosing the right gift can be quite a challenge: Too many frazzled sweethearts reach into the Valentine’s void for gift ideas and come up with something that’s just plain wrong. To help you avoid joining their ranks, we present the ten worst presents possible—and what to give your sweetie instead.”

1. Ye olde bouquet of red roses and baby’s breath
2. A box of assorted chocolates
3. Jewelry in a ring-sized box
4. Something girlie and decorative like a sachet, a candle holder, a silver
wishing stone
5. A cute stuffed animal bearing a message of love
6. Racy lingerie
7. Anything that could be considered a small appliance
8. A nice bottle of cologne or perfume
9. A tie
10. A gift certificate

Some Topfive.com’s Things Overheard on Valentine's Day

"A stuffed teddy bear, holding a heart? How utterly original."

"I now stand corrected -- there is *one* gift a woman does
*not* prefer to come in a small package."

“The jeweler said you'd never notice. Of course, he also
said he needed to move to another street corner because the
cops were closing in."

"How did you find a stuffed animal that looks exactly like
the neighbor's cat?"

"Troop levels aren't the only thing surging, baby."

"It's like a cosmic convergence -- Valentines Day and
Hump Day occurring simultaneously!"

"Everyone *else* gives chocolate hearts for Valentine's Day,
but I love you so much I went out and got you the real
thing. It's not easy finding a cow heart, you know."

"I *did* get you roses. I just skipped the middleman and
 sent them to your divorce lawyer."

"Technically, the lingerie doesn't make your ass look fat--the
chocolate hearts do that."

"Charles, I want you to take off *all* my clothes. You really
  don't look that good in lace."

"I don't understand it either, honey. It was smokin' hot on
the Victoria's Secret model."

"I said send it *FTD* -- not STD!"

"You had me at 'a dozen red roses will get you oral.'"

"No, not exactly... but I really, really LUST you."

"Sweetheart, guess what? I may be the father of Anna Nicole's 
  daughter!"

Aw what the heck, happy Victory/Viceroy/Vanquish Day, darlings! :)