I'm Stylin'

Doesn’t this make an attractive accessory for my black sweater? Yes, I do realize it's backasswards but we are all proficient at deciphering mirror-speak, right? A gal in the financial aid office asked me to wear this sticker today and again tomorrow and I agreeably complied, but it just doesn’t do much for my ensemble.

And here is a pic of the startling object I found on the printer desk my plant perches on. Did I miss a vicious knife fight between rival gangs while I was blissfully walking the treadmill at lunch? At least it looked clean and ick-free.

To file in memory banks for next year’s blowout…

The Topfive.com’s 16 Signs You're at a Lame Super Bowl Party

16> Your friends cheer for the Budweiser Clydesdales and
groan at the Coors twins.

15> Your host serves plenty of crab cakes and Chesapeake
Lager,blissfully unaware that the Colts no longer play in
Baltimore.

14> Tough to hear the commentary over all the knitting.

13> Your host's homemade giant plasma screen TV is leaking
all over the carpet and he wants to know if you're type A
positive.

12> For the 250,000th time, some moron says, "Da Bearz!"

11> Your boss says, "As long as you're going to the break
room, why don't you make 20 copies of the Whittaker proposal."

10> Your drunken buddy casually mentions how much better the
game would be if offensive lineman wore only thongs.

9> You miss the opening kickoff when your host insists on
watching the last five minutes of a "Will & Grace" rerun.

8> No one is allowed to do a Jell-O shot without first
hearing the host's Bill Cosby impression.

7> The guy who organized it refers to fondue as "FUNdue."

6> TV's broken, game's on the radio and Earl and Danny are
reenacting the action using marionettes.

5> "Like those Tofurkey nachos, Bob? The Tupperware bowl
they're in comes in six attractive colors for only $6.99."

4> Who knew Costco even *made* beer?!

3> After every botched play, your host, a former pro football
star, insists on showing you how he would have done it--if
he had done it.

2> "Okay, everyone: Whenever that Peyton guy throws a
touchdown, we each do a sudoku!"

1> The only wardrobe malfunction involves too much Zima and
your own man-boob.

Deranged entities stumbled their way to our preshus blog thanks to these recently-searched phrases. Though not nearly as entertaining, bizarre and gutbustingly funny as Kranki’s, this list it is nevertheless quite the eye-opener.

-spitting cobra fountain

-sagittarius female alcohol

-cold cut trio happy Gilmore

-eye of newt hangover

-cooties bug pictures

-the witches prosthetics photos

-guy sat on his face

-cats with broken tails

-a voice so husky she could pull a sled with it

-crotch itch after consuming alcohol

-braless fun

-blogging to find companionship

That last one is kind of sweet actually, but I’m very concerned about the party looking for witches with photogenic prosthetics. ;)