Tuesday Tidbits

TOYS YOU WON'T FIND SOLD IN STORES

In National News Highlights:

IRVINE, CA—Local house cat Tibbles woke up, arched his back, took five steps, fell asleep, woke up, shat in a box, brushed up against the television, fell asleep, woke up, killed a small thing, and fell asleep.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

You'll be torn a new asshole this week by some of the top reconstructive surgeons in the country.