Friday, March 28, 2008

Lost Lingerie

Did someone misplace their trusty binder? I discovered this on the counter by the sink in the gym, crumpled and despondent, whimpering in the corner. Its owner apparently had dressed in such a rush that this helpless undergarment was overlooked in the frantic scramble. Here’s hoping it was later reclaimed and is once again back in commission.

The federal government is sending each and every one of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs. If we purchase a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in the US. Thank you for your help.


TC said...

Amen sista.

Queen of the Mayhem said...

During my college days....a lonely pair of "granny panties" were left in the laundry room. So much fun was made of said drawers...NO ONE ever claimed them...and they stayed an ode to "big girl panties" everywhere!

Now...if we spend the money on plastic surgery...where would the money go? Just checking!

Angela said...

Or you could go get a massage at the spa.

I could use the extra money