Adios Adjunct!

The most cantankerous, complaining, difficult, (bewhiskered) adjunct instructor in the world quit last week. Woot! I wrote about her pissy ways, demanding attitude, and insistence on immediate resolution to any snag she encountered back in March when she first came on board. Several factors refuted her self-proclaimed special status and I shall enumerate them now.
1. She was here on a grant. 2. She was not a mainstream instructor but rather came under the heading community service. And C. She was adjunct for godssakes! For those of you not familiar with the educational system, let me provide a helpful definition. (crucial words bolded by moi):

ad·junct /ˈædʒŋkt/ Pronunciation Key - [aj-uhngkt] –noun

1.	something added to another thing but not essential to it.

2.	a person associated with lesser status, rank, authority, etc., in some duty or service; assistant.

3.	a person working at an institution, as a college or university, without having full or permanent status: My lawyer works two nights a week as an adjunct, teaching business law at the college.

4.	Grammar. a modifying form, word, or phrase depending on some other form, word, or phrase, esp. an element of clause structure with adverbial function.

–adjective

5.	joined or associated, esp. in an auxiliary or subordinate relationship.

6.	attached or belonging without full or permanent status: an adjunct surgeon on the hospital staff.

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[Origin: 1580–90; <>adjunctus joined to (ptp. of adjungere), equiv. to ad- ad- + jung- (nasal var. of jug- yoke¹) + -tus ptp. suffix]

As you can see, Mz. Pain-in-the Arse had no reason in the world to throw her pseudo weight around and assume long-term staff would instantly jump at her bossy commands. Nosireebob! Here’s the scoop. Apparently she was informed her grant was not renewed for this upcoming semester and though she could have continued on a part-time basis, she threw a colossal hissy fit, loudly demanding to be made full time. When told this was not possible, she immediately quit. Arriving in our area toting her school loaner laptop, she cryptically proclaimed she had “had it” and she wouldn’t “be fooled anymore,” (whatever that means), handed it back, ordered the erasure of its hard drive, blew kisses to GFR and flounced out the door. We got off easy. We later heard threw the college grapevine that she inflicted her displeasure on the finance office by refusing to turn over her keys, insisting her office first be inspected and when a higher up acquiesced, proclaimed they were not to enter her inner sanctum under after work hours. Who is running the show here??? At any rate, those of us whiling away the last few minutes of the workday in my reception area last Tuesday discussed the days events while a blizzard of confetti rained from the ceiling, party hats and noisemakers magically appeared, and celebratory bubbly flowed from stashed, clandestine bottles in joyful observance of the surprise departure of the Adjunct Bitch from Hell. (Remember gang, she possessed the fitting extension of 666. Really.) Lady, hope the door didn’t hit yer ass on the way out. Good riddance to bad rubbish!