Dial Trials

Our “favourite” (hehe) Canuckian chick recently blogged about misdialed numbers and I just had to relate a few personal tales to our readers. One that really sticks out in my mind was the adamant male caller who persistently argued that I had paged him. This was years before Caller ID or even cell phones. It was 11 pm on a Sunday night and though I had not quite drifted off to sleep, the jolting ring at my bedside most definitely scared off the sandman. Not satisfied with my denial, he called me back. Several times. He didn’t believe me! Fully awake and now employing the kitchen phone so as not to disturb TBC, I continued my futile attempts to get through his thick skull that there was no way on God’s green earth I was the guilty party that did this dastardly deed. In the ensuing conversation, it was established that a) it was now almost midnight, I resided in Oklahoma and most importantly, my sleep time had been greatly depleted for someone who had to get up for work the next day, and b) he was in Boston with what suspiciously sounded like raucous, background bar noises and there was no earthly way the culpability rested with moi. After further interrogation, it was ascertained that while I indeed possessed the correct digits, either he or the person paging him (I forget which it was now) had foolishly transposed the area code for LOUISIANA thus getting an increasingly miffed me in OKLAHOMA. Thanks for the memories buddy and never argue with a sleepy, disgruntled Mz Circe.

TBC and I have had the same land line number for ages and fortunately the amount of wrong numbers is not excessive though it does occasionally happen. If it occurs it tends to be someone transposing the numerals of a local convenience store. The biggest headache has been TBC’s recent cell phone acquisition. I have seriously speculated the possibility that some eminent drug dealer was the previous owner. TBC must receive five wrong calls a day (and going far into the night) and the name requested is rarely the same. Since I pay for cell phone usage and he likes his apparently popular number, I finally recorded a firmly worded message clearly enunciating precisely whom they were reaching in the hopes of cutting down persist misdirected calls.

“Attention Head-Firmly-Wedged-Up-Your-Ass Callers Who Obviously Don’t Give a Rat’s Toenail if You Actually Reach the Party You Intended as You Just Keep Calling This One Again and Again Even When Clearly Told the Person You Want is NOT at This Number. Here are the facts:

"Lisa/Brett/Tom/Melanie/Rick/Chester/Jennifer is NOT at this number. Please make a mental note to refrain from redialing this number 3 seconds later in hopes the person in question will now miraculously answer. I will assume this person is someone you know personally as most of the wrong calls originate from our particular town. May I suggest that the next time you see them you question the possibility of a change in their cell phone affilation or designation and request that you be given the updated information? Of course, it is within the realm of possibility that your friendship status has altered and it is with malice aforethought that you are not in possession of their current number. This is not my problem. Nurturing new, preferably substance-free acquaintances might be something to consider. Have a nice day.”