Twist of Fate

Something I’ve been meaning to discuss is the ongoing problem of countless accidents we rural people encounter from morons who fail to negotiate obvious and clearly posted turns on the country roads leading to and from the boonies. What seems to be the problem, people? It’s not like the signs are hidden just to trick you and then all of the sudden, SURPRISE! an unexpected bend jumps out causing untold grief as you lose control and swerve wildly to avoid smacking into the fence just waiting to mangle your precious car (and sometimes you) all to bits.

There are several choices of road I can take to work and yesterday sis was in the lead by a few miles as we made our way to our respective employers. As we yakked on the cell, she informed me there were skid marks and a lone car grill stuck in a large bale of hale at the first sharp curve. Sure enough, some idiot had missed the turn completely and his vehicle became one with Straw City. Mr Excellent Driver managed to make it five miles further up the road before abandoning his dented POS pickup and hoofing it to the main highway. There it sat, abandoned, forlorn and grill-less as responsible working people of the world discussed his predicament on their morning commute. By the return trip home, no trace could be found of either one. I mentioned this incident to TBC last night and we compared notes. Apparently this accident had occurred on Sunday afternoon in broad daylight not long before TBC observed a skinny, unkempt individual swiftly walking away from said vehicle. My guess is this upstanding member of society had been high and/or drunk and could easily have found his sorry ass in jail had the cops been called. It doesn’t help that country roads are fine places to drink and drive while blithely tossing empty bottles out of the window with reckless regularity. We even offer a neighboring drug dealer to meet your hallucinogenic needs. (Our motto: you bring the booze, we’ll front the pharmaceuticals). Needless to say, this adds to the plethora of wrecks that may be found on our crafty corners.

There are two specific areas that tend to trip up the majority of visitors: 1) At what I affectionately call 'the zigzag' in the middle of my road and 2) the “Y” where two nearby lanes break off and head in perpendicular directions. The homeowners near either of these hot spots have long given up keeping their fences intact as they can count on having them run through on a regular basis. For the most part, the accidents haven’t been fatal with one exception. One pleasant early fall day two years ago, four joyriding teenagers traveling at a high rate of speed crashed into the large tree on the Y owner’s property and two were killed. As much as we like to poke fun at stupid, overindulging adults missing the turns, this was a sad, tragic crash that shouldn’t have happened. This hazardous area now posts more signs than ever in an effort to avert further tragedies. In conclusion, please drive carefully when traipsing through my neck of the woods as you may become the topic of local gossip and blog fodder.