Spider Skirmish

Nothing went right yesterday and the cold and windy weather didn't help matters. I showed up for work with my attractive bloody left eye (broken blood vessel) and wearing a lovely ripped lavender sweater. And then things really plummeted downhill. Now I know I’m not the only one who occasionally comes unglued at work and unsheathes her sharpened claws but yesterday featured a Circe Meltdown of epic proportions. The first order of the day was the ongoing power struggle with the Spider right at the stroke of 8. As I have expounded upon in an earlier post, the Gossip Queen arrives promptly at 7 am, parks her rather plump posterior on one of our vacant chairs adjacent to my desk and eagerly awaits the arrivals of her cronies to trail in and join her in the morning gabfest. Chaos College’s workday commences at 8 am and in the perfect world, she would be seated at her desk in her building across campus ready to hit the ground running. Alas, this is not a perfect world. Chatting on the cell phone with sis, I rounded the corner to find the bull session in full swing. I threw my bag and purse on the desk and informed sis I wasn’t going to be able to hear her and flounced out in a huff as Gabby Bitch loudly declared, “well she’s pissed.” No shit, Sherlock! We go through this every week and you know very well how thrilled I am to see you first thing in the morning acting like this office is your personal domain. When I returned she was gone but the skirmish was far from over.

Indian Tacos were sold in the lounge and I knew she’d be over to gobble her quota. Sure enough, before noon I glimpsed her ambling down the hall in anticipation of consuming these gastronomic delicacies. I left for the gym and upon returning found her coat still slung over the rack waiting for its lazy owner to retrieve it. At 2:20 pm she finally decided it might be time to end her prolonged 2 ½ hour lunch and wandered in. By this time, I was feeling ashamed of my unprofessional hissy fit, decided to let bygones be bygones, smiled pleasantly and greeted her. And what was her reaction? I got a glare and silence for my efforts. Fine! Around 4 pm I was proofreading a document when my peripheral vision glimpsed her again entering my area in search of the Grand Poobah’s signature for her timesheet. (Oh, the irony). Never looking up, I squelched questioning her on her honesty regarding her lengthy noon break. Knowing precisely where boss lady had headed, I vowed to not offer the info without being asked and the inquiry never came.

I haven’t seen her today and doubt she’s even here as she is strictly part time. Her friends are glaring at me today so I know my "unfair overreaction' has made the rounds. Fortunately we have a three-day workweek coming up and I think it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say we all long for this much needed break from our work playmates. The saga continues...