Keys to the Kingdom

Dear sexy GFR created a terrific post yesterday on his MyBlinkyCrapSpace blog and I enjoyed it so much I asked permission to share it with our bloggers-in-arms. We just may need to occasionally have this witty male guest blog for us. Therefore, without further ado, here it is for your reading pleasure.

"I changed jobs back in May at the “Little ol’ College” from faculty and webmaster to full time IT staff. In the IT department there are many projects which involve me going from building to building and room to room working on switches, computers, ITV equipment and anything else faculty/staff can dream up. Plus, as a bonus, I get to convert our existing website from an information site to a portal.

As a faculty member I had three keys, two master keys and a computer lab key. I never used the master keys for anything other than my office and the outside door to the building I was in. I could have used the master keys for just about every building on campus but had no need to since all I did was taught and hang out in one building. At the “Little ol’ College” there are four master keys (which many people have) that will let you into 90% of the buildings and rooms. The 10% that the masters won’t let you into are special rooms with either dangerous chemicals or rooms with expensive equipment.

In May when my job description changed I had to turn in my faculty keys for staff keys. I figured staff keys would consist of the four master keys and the audio/video room keys since my new duties would consist of me going into a lot of different buildings and rooms. Man, was I wrong!

Now I have 13 keys (yes you read that correctly) and I can hardly get into my own office. I have six; count them six keys to get into my current office. One key is to enter the building, a key for the east IT department door, another key for the west IT department door, a key for the stairway door, a key for my office door and another key for the IT closet door. The key to enter the building is the best key in this set, as it will not open the outside door coming into the building from the parking lot (that would make too much sense) it opens the one closest to the IT department which is halfway around the building from the parking lot.

The other seven keys have no use whatsoever unless the building and/or room are already open. I have a key for an audio/video room in a large conference room. Not a key for the building of or the actual conference room, just the audio/video room. I also have individual keys for ITV rooms but not the ones used most or that have the most trouble. To round out this set is keys to two computer labs. Why they are not keyed the same is beyond me? They are literally right across the hall from one another. The best key in this set would have to be to an ITV classroom that does not exist any longer. Why this key is even being issued is a mystery!?

The reason for all these keys can be summed up as pure “politics”. Actually pure might be too good of an adjective I think it is more impure…To conclude, if you are reading this and work with me, make sure to unlock your building and office if you need my help!

Note: The “Lone Ranger”, down the hall from me, never leaves his office and he has the four master keys! Life is wonderful, try not to close your eyes, something funny might happen..."