Thursday, July 26, 2007

Copier Conundrum

This morning I decided to update some documents and bopped across the hall to make front and back copies. Now how hard is that? I’ve done it a zillion times and I know what buttons to push, but by golly the copier refused to let me choose that option. Prez’s assistant came in to help and even dug out the dusty manual. No dice. Then another VP’s right-hand (wo)man joined us making for one puzzled little trio pondering the complexities of this confusing apparatus. The contraption kept asking for an “ADU,” (Annoying Diapered Unicorn?) whatever the heck that is. I remarked that it sounded a lot like "IUD" but I really doubted it needed contraceptive protection. I could be wrong. After a meeting of the minds we concluded that this massive, blinking machine was not equipped to handle front/back duties and I/we were SOL. Great! Blonde assistant graciously offered to take my originals back to her copier and complete my request and this is indeed what she did. Mission accomplished!


I’m sure you are all waiting with bated breath to learn about my courtroom experience yesterday and you shall now be rewarded. TBC and I met in the parking lot and entered the ornate halls very much resembling a business-like couple who had possibly just stepped away from their snooty bank jobs prior to enjoying a tasty lunch at some elegant bistro. I wore my ladylike burgundy skirt suit with black heels and carried an impressive black file folder neatly holding paraphernalia deigned to corroborate my story and strengthen my defense. Sitting in the waiting room allowed TBC and I to view the crème de la crème of our fair county adorned in their finest judge-impressing attire. It pretty much consisted of ratty, uncombed hair, slovenly t-shirts, dirty flipflops, big honking tats and grubby little tykes in tow. As I perched front and center I was able to watch my fellow lawbreakers plead their case (sometimes with attorneys) and receive their just desserts. The DUIs were quite entertaining and I especially enjoyed eyeballing the orange-jumpsuited motley bunch who had spent the previous night in the pokey. At any rate, before my turn at bat came I was called aside by the congenial assistant DA and we efficiently hashed things out without ever employing the judge. The gist of it is that another court date has been set and after Mr DA gets in touch with the supertrooper either the case will be dismissed or I go back to Square One to duke it out in person with the HyPo. Oh joy! I should know by the beginning of next week and I’m praying it’s the former and not the latter. Have a great weekend! :)

5 comments:

Kerry said...

Good luck woman!

TC said...

Honestly, I just want to say how much I love your titles :) No one comes up with better ones than you...

CruiserMel said...

I hate it when machines get the upper hand. They're so snooty sometimes.

Gee, I had no idea watching DUIs defend themselves was entertaining. Now I know what I'll do with my next vacation day. Who knew?

But seriously - good luck with your case.

Bone said...

I was going to try and help you out, so I googled "diapered unicorn." No dice, but a picture of the diapered astronaut did come up :)

Good luck with the court thing.

*hugs*

weatherchazer said...

Dismissal is probably the most appropriate action- although they do like to try to make 'examples' out of the good law abiding citizen- and we (family, not hubby) call them pooper troopers or flying pricks- I prefer the latter.