Perplexing Pairings

From MSN Movies, we review wild disparity in supposed cozy couplings. Agree or disagree? You be the judge…

“Love is not only a battlefield but also a puzzle. Why do we so often experience an involuntary surge of romantic feelings for someone so utterly unsuitable? Here are 10 strikingly mismatched pairings found on film":

“Howard the Duck” (1986) with Lea Thompson and well, quick frankly, a king-sized duck.

"A scientific experiment unknowingly brings extraterrestrial life forms to the Earth through a laser beam. First is the cigar smoking drake Howard from the duck's planet. A few kids try to keep him from the greedy scientists and help him back to his planet. But then a much less friendly being arrives through the beam."

I did see this one and I have to admit how creepy it felt to watch Ms. Thompson get hot and bothered over a giant quacker. I refuse to mention what city this clunker is set in.

“Swamp Thing” (1982) with Ray Wise and Adrienne Barbeau.

"Dr. Alec Holland, hidden away in the depths of a murky swamp, is trying to create a new species - a combination of animal and plant capable of adapting and thriving in the harshest conditions. Unfortunately he becomes subject of his own creation and is transformed .Arcane, desperate for the formula attempts to capture the Swamp Thing. An explosive chase ensues that ultimately ends with a confrontation between Holland and a changed Arcane."

Oh brother.

“Edward Scissorhands” (1990) with Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder.

"A modern day fairy tale which tells the story of Edward, the man created by an inventor, who died before finishing him and left Edward with scissors where he should have hands. One day when the local Avon representative calls at the historic mansion where Edward has been living alone, she takes him home to stay with her family. He has to adapt to the new life and environment that he isn't used to. Soon he shows a talent in cutting hair and hedges, and wins every body's heart. But life isn't always so sweet."

Yes, it’s off-the-wall but I liked this unusual story.

"Six Days, Seven Nights" (1998) with Harrison Ford and Anne Heche.

"Taking a romantic tropical island week off with her boyfriend, an ambitious, decisive New York girl agrees to help her magazine out by covering a story on a neighboring island. The only plane available is piloted by a laid-back heavy drinker with whom she shares a mutual dislike. But she has no choice and he can't refuse the money. When the plane crash-lands on an uninhabited island with little chance of rescue they both wish they had made other arrangements - at least to start with."

I liked this one but mostly because Han Solo was the male lead. The chasm-like age gap and Anne’s mercurial gender choice made for viewer’s suspense of disbelief when viewing this flick.

"Frankie and Johnny"(1991) with Al Pacino and Michele Pfeiffer.

"Johnny has just been released from prison, and gets a job in a cafe beside waitress Frankie. Frankie is a bit of a loner, but Johnny is determined their romance will blossom."

Never saw it.

"As Good as It Gets"(1997) with Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt.

"Melvin Udall, a cranky, bigoted, obsessive-compulsive writer, finds his life turned upside down when neighboring gay artist Simon is hospitalized and his dog is entrusted to Melvin. In addition, Carol, the only waitress who will tolerate him must leave work to care for her sick son, making it impossible for Melvin to eat breakfast."

Greg Kinnear was terrific but Jack and Helen as a couple was completely unbelievable.

"White Palace" (1990) with James Spader and Susan Sarandon.

"Max Baron (James Spader) is a 27-year-old high flying advertising executive still recovering from the death of his wife. One night he is in a bar when he meets Nora Baker (Susan Sarandon) a 43-year-old waitress with a fixation on Marilyn Monroe. The couple gradually fall in love, though age and social differences mean that the path of true love is strewn with problems."

Never saw it, but loved him in "Pretty in Pink" as the spoiled rich boy.

"Harold and Maude"(1971) with Bud Cort and Ruth Gordon.

"Harold is a depressed, death-obsessed 20-year-old man-child who spends his free time attending funerals and committing suicide in front of his mother, but he does not die. At a funeral, Harold befriends Maude, a 79-year-old woman who has a zest for life. She and Harold spend much time together during which she exposes him to the wonders and possibilities of life. After rejecting his mother's three attempts to set him up with a potential wife, and committing fake suicide in front of all of them, Harold announces that he is to be married to Maude. However, Maude has a surprise for Harold that is to change his life forever."

Never heard of him. Didn’t see this, but apparently it received good reviews. Pairing a 20-year old and an almost 80-year old is pushing the envelope.

"Monster’s Ball" (2001) with Billy Bob Thornton and Halle Berry.

"Set in the Southern United States, 'Monster's Ball' is a tale of a racist white man, Hank (played by Billy Bob Thornton), who falls in love with a black woman named Leticia (Halle Berry). Ironically Hank is a prison guard working on Death Row who executed Leticia's husband (Sean Combs). Hank and Leticia's interracial affair leads to confusion and new ideas for the two unlikely lovers."

Didn’t see this but Billy Bob doesn’t strike me as a good match for the lovely Ms. Berry.

"Beauty and the Beast" (1946) with two people no one’s ever heard of.

"A half-ruined merchant lives in the country with his son Ludovic and his three daughters. Two of the daughters, Felicie and Adelaide, are real shrews, selfish, pretentious, evil. They exploit the third daughter, Belle, as a servant. One day, the merchant gets lost in the forest and enters a strange castle. He picks up a rose for Belle and the castle's owner appear. He is a monster, half-human, half-beast, and possesses magic powers. He sentences the merchant to death, unless he give up one of his daughters. Belle sacrifices herself for her father and goes to the castle, discovering that the Beast is not so wild and inhuman as it seems."

There is also the 1991 animated version.

I sort of remember the fairy tale but plead innocent on having ever caught this flick.

I’m sure many others could be added to this list, but there you have it—incongruous couples on film.

Tis the Season for Kleenex

Today is day 2 of P's flu. Actually, I guess it could be day 3.... but I really wasnt counting sunday because we didn't stay in or anything. We ran around with him sick, not realizing how sick he was.

P is never sick. That kid is tough as nails and shakes off every snotty sneezing thing that comes his way but sunday I should have paid more attention. I woke up to him fully dressed in jeans and a sweater. This is the kid that strips at the front door.... chooses nudity over chocolate!

Sunday night he had a temp of 101, so I knew that it was highly possible that we might not be going to work/school on Monday. Sure enough. He was feverish, eyes all red, chest rattling, labored breathing, etc. I tried to get in to see his doctor but after 15 minutes of being on hold I said 'ahhhh screw it!' and we took off for the Urgent Care Center.

We nestled down in our chairs to wait for our names to be called, I chatted with a guy waiting and P dozed off to sleep. It wasnt but a few minutes later he sat straight up and said 'I think i'm going to throw up'. My pointer finger reacted and I very urgently commanded 'get to the bathroom!' He took off running for the door. *wheew, he made it* I heard the gut wrenching hurls and in a few minutes he opened the door.... and I spotted it. chunks all over the floor. He walked up to the nurses desk and told them he needed a cleanup on isle 5 *blah*

He said down (said he felt better... of course) and I asked him if he 'made it'. He said, 'not really. I got most of it on the floor and some in the sink'. My stomach churned. I don't do vomit. I'll be right along beside him if I have to go in there. I checked with the receptionist and she said they would clean it up and she tried to explain to me that it was 'ok'... that's why he's here. True.....

They got us in very quickly after that. lol He has Type A flu. I have no idea what that means... there is type A and type B... both are the flu. So, he has the flu.

On the way home, I called Richard to give him the results and I said 'he threw up his cookies in the doctors office!'. P looked at me and said 'no I didnt mom, it was bacon. I had bacon for breakfast.... not cookies'.

HAHAHAH that kid is so cute!

Amour Angst

Yes my darlings, we’ve come to that specific segment of time again. *audible sigh* I promise not to subject you to an entire week of anti-love verses penned by famous poets like I did last year but I just couldn’t resist sharing this article from MSN.

“When you're not in love, everyone else appears to be. No matter where you go, mushy couples scorch your corneas with their public displays of affection and cram their sweet nothings into your adjacent ears. And maybe you'd like to think it's lovely, but the truth is that you'd rather not be forced to remember. You don't want to think about how happy you once were, or how happy you could be again if only, or, especially, how happy you might never be again. And you definitely don't want to think about the possibility that your cat might be your longest-running relationship, like George Clooney and his pig (RIP, Max) because you're probably not one of the "sexiest people alive," and you can't afford to live high-on-the-hog in Italy.

Nothing epitomizes the single person's challenge quite like Valentine's Day—the one day each year that seems defined solely by gestures of romance: the delivery of red roses, thoughtful cards and phone calls, candlelight dinners, etc., ad nauseum. So this year, here's a suggestion: You can simply choose to hate love. I mean, really despise the sucker. Wear black. Spit on flowers. Fill your ears not with the sweet nothings of others but with the wails, moans and cries of musicians who have the decency to remind us of love's disastrous qualities."

You may read the specifics regarding each song at MSN Music’s URL, but here are their picks for the top “I Hate Love” songs of all time.

1. The J. Geils Band: “Love Stinks”

2. Def Leppard: “Love Bites”

3. Nazareth: “Love Hurts”

4. Kelly Clarkson: “The Trouble With Love Is”

5. Alanis Morissette: “You Oughta Know”

6. Maria McKee: “If Love is a Red Dress (Hang Me in Rags)”
7. Michael Buble with Holly Palmer: “Down With Love"

Tied for 8:

John Mayer: “I’m Gonna Find Another You”
Beyonce: “Irreplaceable”

9. The Dixie Chicks: “Hole in My Head”

10. Adam Sandler: "Somebody Kill Me"

To recap, love stinks, bites, and hurts. Sounds painful! :P

It's Not Special K

Apparently, I have a severe addiction problem.

To Strawberry Cheerios.

This weekend C and I had gone to the mall to do some shopping and afterwards we ran by Target to get a few things. On our list was milk and I ran down the cereal isle to get cereal. Specifically Cheerios. C said "mom! you have a serious problem! We already have cheerios" That is true, but we go through about 4 boxes a week and its stupid to buy one box at a time.

So I grabbed two.

C said "can't we get something different this time?"

No. We all like it... and I think we're all addicted. Cept C.... obviously.

I got home and opened up the pantry to 3 existing boxes of Cheerios (one Vanilla and two Strawberry)...I added the two new boxes.

If you need me, I'll be at my Cheerios anonymous meeting.

Jury Duty is Over!

I never did share the results of my Tour of Duty (Jury Duty).

I'm not sure how deep into details I can, or should get, but in the end 12 of us determined that this particular time this person was not guilty. We were pretty sure that he was up to no good and probably fixing to be in trouble, but at that particular time... he was not guilty of what he was being accused of - possession of drugs. Evidence did not prove his guilt beyond a shadow of a doubt.

So, after spending one whole year in jail awaiting a court date, he finally walked free. It was the hardest thing to not consider his previous felonies and choice of lifestyle and friends... but all we could consider was the evidence provided us. Boy, it sure it a little nerveracking to think that maybe, we were letting some major criminal go free simply due to lack of evidence on the prosecutors side.... but still, that's all we could go with. We felt, and still feel, confident in our decision.

I made some good contacts though... and a couple of new friends!

Now.... on to working on my taxes. blah!

Friday Foo Foo

Gratuitous kitty pics:



Did I just hear that contraption start up?


Waiting...

Finally!

It is good to be a woman:

1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

Gimme the Chocolate

I came home from work tonight and Richard had set a bowl of M&M's on the side of the Jacuzzi tub in our bathroom. I reached in the bowl to grab me a few and I noticed that they had sayings on them. I thought it was like those confection candy hearts that you get as a kid (and as big kids) in the little boxes... you know the ones that have all those different little love lines. But... after closer inspection I saw my name! He had the M&M's specially made for me!!! He is the sweetest thing ever!

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

I'm a Dodge Viper!

You're all about raw power. You're tough, you're loud, and you don't take crap from anyone. Leave finesse to the other cars, the ones eating your dust.

Take the test here

Hells Bells

Two weekends ago, I went to a relative's wedding in town. I might as well get into the marriage mode as this is shaping up to be the Year of Relative Weddings. Three more are planned before the summer gasps its final fiery breath so this is just the initial kickoff for nuptial revelry. Yes, there were last minute hassles and typical stress, but the marriage came off without a hitch. During the music-filled reception, each different clan showed off their particular dance specialty and it was entertaining watching them strut their stuff.


I won’t bore you with dreary specifics, but here for your viewing pleasure is a shot of the groom’s cake. He’s in the landscaping business so this makes complete sense.

Is this cute or what?

Changes are afoot at Chaos College as glimmers of the promised expansion process on our selected building begin to take shape. Already we have orange mesh fencing surrounding the designated future work zones and yes, the nervous trees on this side will be spared. Our regular readers may recall the elation we office drones experienced last summer (The Floor Show) with the oogling construction workers and I’m anticipating a similar interaction when this new bunch of hard hats arrive. A little bird told me they begin next week and we can expect limited access to our structure along with all the other noises and aggravations associated with renovation procedures. This should be an interesting spring...

Turn Turn Turn

I’ve mentioned before the situation with our country roads and about the sort of people that traverse them. Often when a strange vehicle passes by, particularly on the weekends, they aren’t necessarily out to enjoy the scenery. More often than not it means their occupants are knocking back brewskies (and blithely tossing them out the window) or making vital purchases from our friendly neighborhood drug dealer. (Yeah, he lives a few houses down. Ain’t we speshul?) We have a very sharp turn about midway down our road and on more occasions that I can count, some clueless moron has overlooked/ignored/missed the very clearly marked road signs and sailed right through the hapless homeowner’s property plowing into his vulnerable fence. I shudder to think how often that poor guy has had to repair that sucker. It’s pretty much an inside joke for the dwellers up and down our lane as we continually view the repeated demolition. Lowe’s must wiggle with delight every time he shows up.

Monday night, TBC and I were talking to his cousin’s visiting relative about yet another accident. His cousin currently resides at the beginning of our road which is perpendicular to the busy main highway. Apparently sometime late Friday night, a drunken fool lacking intimate knowledge of our tricky terrain on this particular stretch of asphalt thought it wise and prudent to fly across it at an alarming rate of speed thus coming to an abrupt and unexpected halt when he ran out of road. While most of the nearby streets do indeed cross this busy thoroughfare, ours is the exception and the inebriated gentleman found that out the hard way. Cops were called, a hospital trip ensued, wrecker services were employed, and no doubt hefty DUI charges resulted from this “little mishap.” Living in the country. There’s rarely a dull moment. *sigh*

I'm Stylin'

Doesn’t this make an attractive accessory for my black sweater? Yes, I do realize it's backasswards but we are all proficient at deciphering mirror-speak, right? A gal in the financial aid office asked me to wear this sticker today and again tomorrow and I agreeably complied, but it just doesn’t do much for my ensemble.

And here is a pic of the startling object I found on the printer desk my plant perches on. Did I miss a vicious knife fight between rival gangs while I was blissfully walking the treadmill at lunch? At least it looked clean and ick-free.

To file in memory banks for next year’s blowout…

The Topfive.com’s 16 Signs You're at a Lame Super Bowl Party

16> Your friends cheer for the Budweiser Clydesdales and
groan at the Coors twins.

15> Your host serves plenty of crab cakes and Chesapeake
Lager,blissfully unaware that the Colts no longer play in
Baltimore.

14> Tough to hear the commentary over all the knitting.

13> Your host's homemade giant plasma screen TV is leaking
all over the carpet and he wants to know if you're type A
positive.

12> For the 250,000th time, some moron says, "Da Bearz!"

11> Your boss says, "As long as you're going to the break
room, why don't you make 20 copies of the Whittaker proposal."

10> Your drunken buddy casually mentions how much better the
game would be if offensive lineman wore only thongs.

9> You miss the opening kickoff when your host insists on
watching the last five minutes of a "Will & Grace" rerun.

8> No one is allowed to do a Jell-O shot without first
hearing the host's Bill Cosby impression.

7> The guy who organized it refers to fondue as "FUNdue."

6> TV's broken, game's on the radio and Earl and Danny are
reenacting the action using marionettes.

5> "Like those Tofurkey nachos, Bob? The Tupperware bowl
they're in comes in six attractive colors for only $6.99."

4> Who knew Costco even *made* beer?!

3> After every botched play, your host, a former pro football
star, insists on showing you how he would have done it--if
he had done it.

2> "Okay, everyone: Whenever that Peyton guy throws a
touchdown, we each do a sudoku!"

1> The only wardrobe malfunction involves too much Zima and
your own man-boob.

Deranged entities stumbled their way to our preshus blog thanks to these recently-searched phrases. Though not nearly as entertaining, bizarre and gutbustingly funny as Kranki’s, this list it is nevertheless quite the eye-opener.

-spitting cobra fountain

-sagittarius female alcohol

-cold cut trio happy Gilmore

-eye of newt hangover

-cooties bug pictures

-the witches prosthetics photos

-guy sat on his face

-cats with broken tails

-a voice so husky she could pull a sled with it

-crotch itch after consuming alcohol

-braless fun

-blogging to find companionship

That last one is kind of sweet actually, but I’m very concerned about the party looking for witches with photogenic prosthetics. ;)

Tour of Duty

Day one of Jury Duty has finally come to a close!

I have only lived in this county for less than one year and already i've been summons for Jury Duty. Today, while doing mindless chitchat with one of the 400 other people crammed like sardines in a court room, I learned that he had somehow escaped the call of duty for 20 years! I have been summons at least 10 times in the past 15 years! How does this happen. What is it that i'm doing wrong.... to get drawn so many times in this duty drawing!?

I arrived at the courthouse early enough to get a front row parking spot in the parking garage. I gathered my things: gum, water, laptop and juror ID, and headed into the court house. When I got to the 5th floor, there was a line forming so I dashed in the bathroom.... tinkled.... and dashed out to find the line had grown by about 30 people. We stood for about 30 minutes and then one by one they filed us in the room, scanned our badges and had us take a seat. To wait.

We waited and waited. I watched the girl across the isle from me fall asleep, and when awoken by the guy next to her, she slung slobber all over her neck and dribbled it down her chin. Another man became irritable when he learned he would not be 'out of here' by noon. The Deputy in the room explained (as kindly as he could) that the little guy just had to be patient and wait for his name to be called to a court room... there was no other way around it.

After hours of sitting, I pulled out my laptop to do some surfing and email. However, there was no internet access available! ugh. ugh UGH! I text'd Richard and begged him to come pick me up for lunch. He and Eric made the trek across town (thank you guys.... you're both so precious!!!) to take me somewhere... anywhere.... to grab some grub. They had instructed us to not move our vehicles or we'd not be able to find a parking place when returning and we'd have to pay parking again.

At 1:30pm, I began my tour of sitting again. I nestled into my church pew and turned to look behind me only to see a man digging for the most stubborn booger i'd ever seen. I almost tossed my lunch. He dug and dug.... blah!!! This morning I had a guy coughing in my hair... so I moved... and now I have booger digger!

I partnered up with another laptop user and we swapped computer stories and played solitaire... which is how I spent the rest of the day! Finally, my name was called and I've been assigned to some jury selection and I'll be returning. Oh the Joy.

Bowl Me Over

It came as no shock that the Colts galloped past the lumbering Bears, and though the first touchdown certainly got everyone’s attention, the game itself proved to be quite a bore. However, Billy Joel’s straightforward rendition of the National Anthem was most appreciated considering how many others insist upon adding superfluous notes. And Prince did a decent job as half time entertainment despite concern for the safety of his frantically twirling backup dancers and potential electrocution of his royal highness during the persistent (purple) rain. And speaking of precipitation, I wondered how those doofuses shelling out big bucks to take up space at the stadium felt about their soggy accommodations? Fox Sports enlightened us.

Officially, less than a half-inch of rain fell on Dolphin Stadium throughout the day. Yet the persistent drizzle, combined with northeast winds that gusted to 21 mph, made the Super Bowl soggy and sloppy. Virtually everyone on both sidelines wore raincoats or jackets. Players sometimes slipped on the turf. Uniforms were soaked through by halftime and there were large pockets of empty seats - a most unusual occurrence at a Super Bowl, where face value seats cost at least $600 apiece. Jordan Gardner, 20, paid more than $5,000 for two seats in Section 416, near midfield along the Indianapolis sideline in the top deck of Dolphin Stadium. He and companion Katie Lee of New Canaan, Conn. skipped the halftime show with Prince - who won a Grammy for "Purple Rain," which he performed in what seemed like a fitting touch.

I’m going to have to side with Slate on the status of this year’s pricey, over-hyped commercial offering. “With minor exceptions, the ads this year were disappointingly small and instantly forgettable.” None could really be called exceptional but here are the few I felt were mildly amusing along with comments from Fox.

Bud Light, “Mind of Mencia”

Comedy Central's Carlos Mencia teaches a classroom full of people of various cultures of ethnicity how to ask for a Bud Light in various dialects and ethnic speak. Punchline is, if you get asked for your Bud Light, you don't speak English.

Chevy, “All-male Car Wash”

While this one would appear to be Chevy throwing a bone to the female viewers, I think it was actually a way to make all the fat men watching the Super Bowl feel better about their own bodies. Shout-out to the naked, guitar-playing cowboy who pops in at the end. Did they have to fly him in from Times Square?

GM, "Robot Unemployment"

A robot gets laid off at GM, looks for other work, has no luck, and goes to a bridge, looking to end it all. It was pretty funny up until this point, and you were waiting for some humorous payoff. But then the robot jumped ... then woke up from a dream sequence and found itself back at work. Not just a creepy ending, but unintentionally representative of the actual state of the American automaking industry.

Emerald Nuts, “Low Blood Sugar”

The Super Bowl is legendary for bringing extremely old-school stars back from wherever they've been hiding for the last decade (in most cases either Vegas or Branson, Mo.) and allowing them to star in very expensive commercials. And this year is no exception, as Robert Goulet is wreaking office havoc. Now while I normally don't approve of bringing former stars back from the dead in Super Bowl ads, the notion of Goulet causing trouble while the office is suffering from low blood sugar is pretty funny.

Chevy, “All-male Car Wash:

While this one would appear to be Chevy throwing a bone to the female viewers, I think it was actually a way to make all the fat men watching the Super Bowl feel better about their own bodies. Shout-out to the naked, guitar-playing cowboy who pops in at the end. Did they have to fly him in from Times Square?

And finally, one we could have all done without seeing:

Flomax, "Here's to Guys"

Here's to guys who want to spend more time watching the game and less time in the men's room." It's like they're talking to the FOXSports.com newsroom. But I digress. It's really long past time where advertisers are permitted to shill drugs for men's health problems on sporting events. Legislation is necessary. Please call your congressman.

All in all, a mediocre showing...

Super Duper

The excitement is building for our revered annual Superbowl extravaganza as all America gears up for the most pervasive nationwide football party ever. And I’m snuggled up right smack in the middle of these enthusiastic throngs. My dilemma is that I don’t much mind which team wins the championship as I have no strong pull toward or against either one. Normally I take into consideration the geographical location in reference to home base but in this case, both are out of Midwestern states and there really isn’t much difference. Therefore, the organizer that I am felt the need to tally up the pros and cons in order to make an informed decision. These somewhat lame, personal considerations came into play while reflecting on my choices.

Colts

1. Peyton Manning has been my FFB QB for the last several years and I really can’t lay the blame on him for my FFB failings.

2. Indiana is my state’s next door neighbor which can make for close, fuzzy ties or aggressive sibling rivalry. *glares at Pittsburgh*

3. I’ve driven through Indianapolis on I-70 on NE trips.

4. TBC and bro-in-law are rooting for the Colts and I love playing devil’s advocate.

Bears

1. They are also perched next to a Great Lake.

2. My mom was born there.

3. One of their team colors is orange and being a Browns fan, I have much in the way of citrus-hued accessories and clothing.

4. Several of my cousins reside in Chicago.

And yet, none of these enumerated facts were of much help in picking the all-important preference. Next, I googled “Who is Cleveland rooting for in the Superbowl?” and came across some savvy hometown perspective. Mike from God Hates Cleveland Sports had this to say:

CHICAGO BEARS

Pros: A kick-ass defense is what football is all about. Chicago is almost a sister city to Cleveland. Or at least a parent city, cuz it's the city we want to grow up to be. And though the Bears is one of the NFL's storied franchises, they've been fairly downtrodden over the last 10 years or so for their 1985 Super Bowl championship.

Cons: The Bears are still living off of that 1985 Super Bowl championship. Then there's the White Sox, Michael Jordan, and the World's Largest Tavern a.k.a Wrigley Field, where the Cubs perennially disappoint. They got plenty in Chicago, they don't need another Super Bowl title.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

Pros: Peyton Manning is one of the NFL's good guys, even if he does throw his offensive line or defense or idiot kicker under the bus every now and then. Tony Dungy is a class act. And they've been a fun offense to watch for years.

Cons: It's the Colts fault the Browns moved to Baltimore to begin with. First, they drafted John Elway, then didn't want to pay him enough money, so he held out and went to Denver. While there, he crushed Browns fans dreams. Then the Colts snuck out of Baltimore, leaving a gaping hole that Art Modell eventually filled.

After much soul-searching deliberation, I have decided to throw my support to the Chicago Bears (sorry TC!) and dug through my closet to find appropriately-hued attire. Glued to the TV, I’ll be resplendent in bright orange jeans and a navy Rip Curl surf shirt complemented by numerous orange accessories (see above) as I once again play hostess with the mostest to our regular posse. A panoramic spread of gastronomic delights washed down with a steady flow of Genesee beer will grace the groaning table. Pictures are promised as we pay homage to this most glorious of all national holidays, Superbowl Sunday. In conclusion, GO BEARS!!!

Love Is In the Air

My preshus honey bunny hubby pooh can't remember jack squat when we are out and meeting new people. I have to remind him of their names or where they work, etc. He's just out enjoying himself and trying not to busy his mind with minor details like your name. That's my job. Always has been and I thought, always will be. Until tonight.

We headed to our weekly Power class, loaded up on weights and proceeded to get started. Some new girl was heading up our hour of intense muscle use and she introduced herself (I didn't catch her name) and said she was substituting for our regular instructor and would also be covering for her in a couple of weeks and its likely that she will take over either our class or the Monday night class on a permanent basis. That's cool.

Anyways, we get started and by the second song I realize this is 'Richards kind of music'. Kind of dark.... ok, wait. No... it was German or something. Something that he'd listen to. I looked at him and he was just lifting away with no a care in the world... it was like he'd died and gone to heaven. He smiled and turned his attention right back to the new little sub.

All of the instructors we have for this class are thick. Not fat, but thick. They are muscular and can lift massive amounts of weights and with ungodly amounts of reps. This little girl was slender and about, ohh... a size one. I tried to find some muscle tone, but she was just thin (not like anorexic girl, who by the way was a noshow tonight). This instructor is a hard-ass! She worked us harder than any of the 'muscular' instructors and is a damn slave-driver during abs. I love her!

I watched Richard during our class... I watched him, watch her... more than any other instructor. He even got his form perfected, which he refused to do in any other class. But little new sub got him to do it. I thought, 'if he wasn't with me... this girl would be one he'd want to hook up with'.

After class she came over and introduced herself again (I still didn't catch her name) and asked if we were new. She said she hadn't seen us around before... (but we hadn't seen her around either). I told her we'd been members for quite some time but we'd just never been in a class of hers. She went on to talk to us about how she's a school teacher and is going to start teaching more of these classes and hopes we enjoyed it and yadda yadda. I told her we did.... and thank you... and see you next time.... and all that good stuff.

We stopped at the clipboard on the way out so we could sign-in for the class (kind of backwards way to do it, but we always sign-in afterwards) and I noticed her name at the top of the form. As we walked out, Richard said 'her name is Crystal'. I think that's what he said... i've completely forgotten now what her name is/was. We got our keys and headed to the car. He plopped down in his seat (with his new-found energy... that he rarely has when we leave the gym!) and says "I really like her!" (may I interject my 'no shit Sherlock' here?)

I like her too. She's hardcore and makes me hurt! I love that!!!

I said, 'you know... she's your type of girl'. He says, 'yeah, she is! I was loving that music she was playing. She's got great taste and blah blah blah blah' (I totally spaced out about here). I follow with ' I had a thought while we were exercising and I was watching you watch her. If I wasnt' in the picture... you'd so be all over her!' He confirms that she's his type and follows with all kinds of information like... she's a teacher (he never remembers where people work or their position) and that she's thin but has muscle tone. I had commented earlier that she was so thin and not too muscular however he informed me that I was mistaken. She had muscle tone because while she was instructing and lifting with us, her muscles were popping out and he could see that she had blah blah blah (whatever).

I would not be surprised if we suddenly get interested in more classes and it just by chance is being taught by Crystal. I won't have to drag Richard, kicking and screaming, to the gym. He'll meet me at the car when I get home from work.... all dressed and bottled water in hand... kind of like a kid getting to go to the candy store.

MEN! But I guess if it works.... I'll go with it and let her heavy German music loving thin blonde butt suck him into being a gym rat. That's what i've wanted all along... *giggle*

Dial Trials

Our “favourite” (hehe) Canuckian chick recently blogged about misdialed numbers and I just had to relate a few personal tales to our readers. One that really sticks out in my mind was the adamant male caller who persistently argued that I had paged him. This was years before Caller ID or even cell phones. It was 11 pm on a Sunday night and though I had not quite drifted off to sleep, the jolting ring at my bedside most definitely scared off the sandman. Not satisfied with my denial, he called me back. Several times. He didn’t believe me! Fully awake and now employing the kitchen phone so as not to disturb TBC, I continued my futile attempts to get through his thick skull that there was no way on God’s green earth I was the guilty party that did this dastardly deed. In the ensuing conversation, it was established that a) it was now almost midnight, I resided in Oklahoma and most importantly, my sleep time had been greatly depleted for someone who had to get up for work the next day, and b) he was in Boston with what suspiciously sounded like raucous, background bar noises and there was no earthly way the culpability rested with moi. After further interrogation, it was ascertained that while I indeed possessed the correct digits, either he or the person paging him (I forget which it was now) had foolishly transposed the area code for LOUISIANA thus getting an increasingly miffed me in OKLAHOMA. Thanks for the memories buddy and never argue with a sleepy, disgruntled Mz Circe.

TBC and I have had the same land line number for ages and fortunately the amount of wrong numbers is not excessive though it does occasionally happen. If it occurs it tends to be someone transposing the numerals of a local convenience store. The biggest headache has been TBC’s recent cell phone acquisition. I have seriously speculated the possibility that some eminent drug dealer was the previous owner. TBC must receive five wrong calls a day (and going far into the night) and the name requested is rarely the same. Since I pay for cell phone usage and he likes his apparently popular number, I finally recorded a firmly worded message clearly enunciating precisely whom they were reaching in the hopes of cutting down persist misdirected calls.

“Attention Head-Firmly-Wedged-Up-Your-Ass Callers Who Obviously Don’t Give a Rat’s Toenail if You Actually Reach the Party You Intended as You Just Keep Calling This One Again and Again Even When Clearly Told the Person You Want is NOT at This Number. Here are the facts:

"Lisa/Brett/Tom/Melanie/Rick/Chester/Jennifer is NOT at this number. Please make a mental note to refrain from redialing this number 3 seconds later in hopes the person in question will now miraculously answer. I will assume this person is someone you know personally as most of the wrong calls originate from our particular town. May I suggest that the next time you see them you question the possibility of a change in their cell phone affilation or designation and request that you be given the updated information? Of course, it is within the realm of possibility that your friendship status has altered and it is with malice aforethought that you are not in possession of their current number. This is not my problem. Nurturing new, preferably substance-free acquaintances might be something to consider. Have a nice day.”

Muscle Madness

Anorexic girl is back on the prowl. Actually, she's never been off... but this week she's really driving me crazy so I have to write about it. I've blogged about her before (i'll find the post) but here lately she's taken a new look.

Let me briefly refresh memories...
She is at the gym 'working out' regardless of what time I make it in, so that means she's there all the time. I never see her crack a sweat yet she clocks hours on the treadmill or eliptical trainer, lifts baby weights, etc. She selects the same treadmill every time because it is directly in front of a mirror and she can spend the next hour or two staring at herself and periodically checking her phone to see if she missed a call even though it never rang. In our weight training class she places herself in the very front and spends the next hour looking herself up and down - regardless of what position we are in, she's looking in that mirror. Oh! and.... she's a complete biatch!

She won't speak. I guess she's afraid she'll crack her makeup if she smiles or speaks. A few days ago, I had a soft moment and I passed her on the floor... I smiled and said 'hi'. She just looked at me... then away... and walked on. Biatch! Her scrawny undernourished cellulite arse has issues!

One of which I can't quite figure out. She looks pregnant. She's deathly thin but has this protruding stomach. Of course it could be distended because she's starving, but it appears as if she's got a bun in the oven. She stands around with it sticking out and doesnt try to suck it in. It doesn't seem to be growing though.... well, it has somewhat because the first time I noticed it was about 4 months ago but by this time it should be huge! I'm not sure what's going on there... but with all the admiring she does of herself and how she thinks she's perfect, you'd think she'd noticed the roundness in the middle.

Last night she was 'training' another girl. Now, that was a sight to see. Anorexic girl, who curls a whopping 7.5lbs each arm, training another person. I noticed she was even loaded up on some drink... those that athletes mix for energy and muscle building. She'd filled an entire gallon of water with it and was carrying the gallon around sipping on it. Good grief. That girl needs a hamburger or a big shot of protein supplements. Something with substance! An attitude adjustment wouldn't hurt either!

Wilde Childe

Back in junior high, there was an extremely attractive gal with a very tawdry reputation. (Doesn’t that sound like the beginning of a fantasy fable?) Lovely Linda was notoriously known for her flagrant bed-hopping and brazen thievery. We must have shared one class together as I recall overhearing many sordid tales of her wild exploits and narrow escapes. Sporting lavish face paint applied with her trusty trowel, she possessed pretty cornflower blue eyes, a substantial amount of bleached blonde hair, and a flawless, angelic face that belied the fact she was in reality, one wild teenage hellion. Two specific incidents come to mind as I nostalgically muse about days gone by. One was the widespread knowledge of her having posed for nudie pix and the extensive circulation of said photos throughout our hormonally-fueled campus. She was fully aware of them and quite proud of their existence and though I never saw the actual evidence, I assume they truly existed and were not a figment of overactive imaginations. Secondly, I remember her boastful bragging regarding her controversial skills at shoplifting. To this day I recall her telling an enthralled female audience about the time she swiped an entire ensemble right out from under the store’s oblivious nose (pre-clothes tagging) by wearing it under her outfit. Nowadays, her exploits would hardly raise an eyebrow but back then, she was considered quite the radical renegade. She dropped out of high school after an unplanned pregnancy overshadowed her educational endeavors and her further forays through life remain unknown. Though she made for a lot of gossip fodder at the time, I honestly hope she found that elusive happiness that seemed to have evaded her troubled youth.

When Worlds Collide

You can be anywhere where when your life begins. You meet the right person and anything is possible.

Carlos: You're crazy...
Nicole: ...and you're beautiful.

“When fate steps in and brings together two high school seniors from opposite sides of the track, it's something crazy/beautiful in this sexy, fun and energetic story of first love. Nicole (Kirsten Dunst) is the 17-year-old troubled daughter of a wealthy congressman who never met a rule she didn't break. Carlos (Jay Hernandez) is a grade A student with big dreams who endures a two-hour bus ride every morning to attend high school in an upscale L.A. neighborhood. Their innocent flirtations quickly develop into passionate love, but Nicole's self-destructive behavior threatens their relationship and puts Carlos' promising future in jeopardy. Will their intense passion keep them together despite the objections of their families or will Carlos be forced to plan his future without Nicole? Surprises lie at every turn in this wildly seductive and critically acclaimed drama.”

A few weeks ago I rented Crazy/Beautiful and found myself rooting for this diametrically opposite couple. I’m all about reversing the usual stereotypes and she plays the spoiled, bored, substance-abusing, rich gal who initiates the romance while he’s the wrong-side-of-the-tracks, ambitious, serious, feet-firmly-planted-on-terra-firma guy. Though never having set foot in a plane, he yearns to be a naval pilot and she just wants to live it up and get high with her like-minded, hell-raising buddy, Maddy. Braless Nicole in her cropped tops, low-riding jeans and overt, in-your-face sexuality juxtaposes Carlos’ reserve and understandable wariness of any extraneous attachments. He has a well-planned out life and given the opportunity to make something of it, has no intention of wasting it. On the other hand, she doesn’t look past her nose or care what people think and lives her life on the edge. As their involvement deepens and his responsibilities go by the wayside, big brother is compelled to read him the riot act. Carlos disentangles himself from her sensuous web but gallops to her rescue when she incoherently answers her cell while attending a raucous party. Together, the viewer and Carlos discover what prompts her undisciplined behavior and though it doesn’t excuse it, insight and sympathy are obtained. Her Latino knight in shining armor whisks her away before she can be sent to a Betty Ford-like clinic as they spend time alone mulling their future. Seeing the error of her ways, they return, giving her the opportunity to make amends and come to terms with her family. In the end, he ships off to boot camp to embark on his exciting military future and this newfound, responsible member of society is anticipating her first reunion with him. Love conquers all...

Potty Break

In our continuing commitment to get unpacked, moved in and decorated, we gave our bathroom a splash of sparkling personality this weekend. I liked the brightness of the white walls, however it lacked some flare. With the master bath being an extention of the master bedroom - and we are working on the decor on the bedroom - the bathroom needed something to make it more attractive - Eye-catching!
Our bath before:
The blue tape was used for painting purposes only.

Our bath after we painted.

We chose to leave the walls around the vanity area white so that there wouldnt be a red/pink cast on your skin. The red and white looks sharp and gives the bathroom much needed spark! Its bright, yet homey.... comfortable. However, I hope my guys don't get to comfortable in there and start camping out! lol

Quote of the Day

QUOTE OF THE DAY


"I don't mind coming to work,
but that eight hour wait to
go home is a bitch."

(thanks Anita)

Once Upon A Time

Now that the holidays are over with i've got some time to get back to unpacking (no... i'm not finished) and doing some much needed decorating. In the past few weeks Richard and I have been busy digging through our pictures and decor and deciding what to keep and what to use and making our what we need to go out and buy list. Our windows have remained bare with the exception of the shutters added by the builder, but other than that we've not done any window treatments.

Remember the icey snowy slush post... well that was when we searched out curtain patterns and fabrics. We've decided on the fabrics and a few days ago I called one of the women given to me by a girl in a fabric shop and made an appointment to visit with her. She gave me her address and directions to her place... which is on the south side of the metro area. A place I typically don't go. The South Side.

Yesterday, I left work and headed her way. I gave myself a few extra minutes to get lost (always a good plan here) but it was pretty easy. One turn off the highway and a long jaunt down the road. The homes were really nice and all placed on huge lots... acres! I got to where her house should be and I saw this castle thing. I thought 'why is there a restaurant or something like that out here!?' It was in the place where her house should be, but I drove right past it because surely that wasnt it. At the next house, the address was too big. The castle house is where i'm going.

I turned around, grabbed my phone - because I've gotta take a picture so I can blog it! Here is the house where the lady lives that is making my curtains.

I went up to the front door and she greeted me. She was extremely personable and friendly. We chatted up a storm... laughed and carried on like kids. I think we'll be friends. Her house is really nice... kind of horseshoe shaped with a pool in the middle courtyard. Inside it's decorated all castle-like (I wanted to snap pictures there too but I think she would have clued in).

Musical Chairs

I get the weirdest requests when I sit at S’s desk or as I like to call it, “play S.” I have worn this alternate hat for most of this week and Wed, an assistant came in asking if Water Buffalo could reserve the faculty lounge for some disability meeting next Monday, at 2pm!!!I looked at her like she had sprouted three heads as I couldn’t remember any time in the past we have ever closed down the lounge for a meeting held smack dab in the middle of the day. I told her I had no knowledge concerning this and maybe it would be better if she checked into another conference area more conducive to her needs.

Yesterday morning I beat WB to the 'think tank' and being in a humorous mood, she proceeded to bang on the door and "pssst" at me the whole time I was in there. When I finally emerged she slapped in on the butt and told me I was being ornery! (Does that qualify for sexual harrassment?)

But even more bizarre was yesterday's mind boggling phone call. Though D was slated to play S, I briefly filled in from 10:30 to noon while she left for a prior commitment. At straight up twelve, the phone rings. I debated whether to let it go to voicemail or dutifully answer the damn thing since I hadn’t left for lunch yet. Like an idiot I picked up the receiver to hear an extremely ridiculous solution to a seemingly minor problem. It seems the bigwigs at a large medical facility were meeting at our offsite lake facilities and did not realize a key was needed to gain entrance to enter the premises. Imagine that! A KEY. Their logical answer to this little wrinkle in the plan was to employ BOLT CLIPPERS to enter and as the gal cheerfully informed me, they would “be happy to pay for any damages incurred.” This seemed a totally rational solution to this pesky little matter so I agreeably retorted, “Go ahead! Feel free to flagrantly violate school property and slice up any damn thing you need to gain entry. No problem!" Ok, that is NOT what I said. Totally flabbergasted and dumbfounded, what actually came out of my mouth was, “I think you need to talk to the finance office about this,” and I transferred them. So I come back from lunch very curious to know how things turned out. It is imperative I make sure someone knows what went down in everyone's absence so I flew into our dean of campus construction's office and poured out my unbelieveable tale. Fortunately he thought it was kinda funny and felt a lack of communication lay behind this strange state of affairs. Dutifully he strolled down to the finance office to get a status report and discovered the med center contact had indeed spoken to finance and was firmly informed under no circumstances would destruction of said properly be excused or sanctioned and to COME PICK UP THE KEY. Though not happy, they did as instructed and completely unnecessary vandalism was thus avoided. (Who the hell do they think they are anyway??) An unnecessary brouhaha was peacefully settled. Whew!

It's a new day today and I play 'S' ALL day. I shudder to think what unexpected predicaments may finish off this peculiar workweek............ *shakes head*

Texas Poll

The latest telephone poll taken by the office of the Governor of Texas asked whether people who live in Texas think illegal immigration is a serious problem:

A) 35% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."
B) 65% of respondents answered: "No es una problema serio."

HAHAHA

Flower Child

TBC has tons of relatives and one of the fam’s more recent acquisitions is his cousin’s second wife, P. They met and married in Arizona but it wasn’t until their move to Oklahoma that I have gotten to know her better. She has held several jobs in our fair town but she is currently working as a beauty consultant for a well-known company and this has resulted in more frequent contact. Unique P is the quintessential hippie. She’s all about health food and respect for the earth as she expounds on her view of life with her clipped Northern (obviously not from AZ) accent. We seem to have really hit it off and though she’s a little dingy and quite vocal with her opinions, I am watching a developing friendship.

In other news, I am currently paying for my outdoor exuberance in our snowy landscape as I valiantly fight off a determined cold. I’ve come to work armed with anything and everything I can think of to battle the stinkin virus; Dayquil (liquid after my last choking incident with a tablet), green tea, chicken bouillon cubes, water, aspirin, lozenges with zinc, Echinacea and Vitamin C, Vitamin C, and Zicam swabs! Though I don’t feel up to snuff, I’m not feeling as bad as I could be so I just might be winning for a change. We won’t even discuss the many leg (and derriere) bruises I’m sporting thanks to the ass over teakettle jolt I received from the sled-pulling incident. ;)

It's an Epidemic!

This morning I stopped by a coworkers office for some small talk and he said 'I dreamed about you last night'.

WHAT!!?!??!

He laughed 'yep, I dreamed about you...'

Me: Like the dream I had the night before about *Derek*? What happened?

Him: No, nothing like that but I dreamed you quit. You just up and quit like effective at noon. Someone called you out of the clear blue sky and offered you a job and you took it... and quit.

Me: Was it a good job?

Him: I dont know... but you took it!

What if this is a premonition? Or, could be job stress... or he thought my dream about *Derek* was hilarious and he'd been thinking about it and so I was on his mind.

Pillow Talk

All day I have been debating with myself over whether I should blog this or not....

Seriously, why do we dream some of the things we dream and why do we put some people in those dreams?!

I woke up this morning feeling very guilty. My alarm went off and I hopped out of bed. I took a little peek at Richard who was sleeping so peacefully and rolled up all nice and warm in the bed. He's so sweet, so loving, such a wonderful husband...

And I spent last night dreaming something...

The details are sketchy, but here's what I remember. I was sleeping over at someones house and I saw myself walk out of the bedroom in my polka dot sleeping pants. They are really cute! White with turqoise dots and a hot pink sash that ties them up. They are really loose and ride low on the hips. Really hot sleeping gear if you ask me! I also had on a white tank that was loose and hung really low in the front (you know where i'm going with that so I wont elaborate). I walked out to greet *Derek* who was also sleeping over. I have no idea what he had on and I have no idea why he was there or where we were, but the important thing was that he was sleeping in my room and we were just laughing and carrying on like it was a slumber party. I remember he kept looking at my um.... shirt area ;) and we talked about them, etc.

In real life, *Derek* works with me! He sits not 20 feet away from me all day long, Monday thru Friday. We get along well, we both have sparkling (and sometimes sick) personalities and can kind of be little smartasses. I have never had thoughts at all except work thoughts! Why did I dream this!!!? In the dream we knew we worked together and we worked here! Good grief! I'm his supervisor... why would we be in a situation like this!?

Am I having work anxieties? Could it have been the 5 different types of wine and hit of rum that I drank earlier in the night coupled with a diet pill I might have tossed down my throat earlier? Was I just super tired and I became delirious in my sleep? I don't see these guys at all after work hours and I typically don't talk to them on weekends unless there is a problem at the office... so why?

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent (or not so innocent)*

Multiple Personality Snowperson

Here are pics of the diminutive snowman I created yesterday. Torso construction turned out to be the easiest part as I suffered a lot of frustration making his edible features stick to his slippery face.

Browns fan with carrot nose and chocolate candy mouth.

Browns fan with chocolate candy mouth and lump of coal nose. The coal made his whole face look dirty giving him a striking resemblance to a disheveled, homeless derelict warming himself next to a makeshift barrel fire.

Straw-hatted cowboy minus the sunglasses. Chocolate eyes, carrot nose and I can't tell if his spindly twig mouth just isn't visible or frankly, fell off.

My feverish efforts will be fleeting and transitory as serious thawing was occurring even as I built him. Nevertheless, practice makes perfect and I certainly hope he won't be my last inspired effort of the season. :)

Slip Slidding Away

The weatherman was a bit off in forecasting this weekend weather blast. As of yesterday we were supposed to start getting snow about 10pm last night (didn't) and by noon today it was going to change to sleet/snow combo (didn't) and then get accumulations of 4-10 inches (haven't yet).

At 11am when we headed out the door to grab breakfast at Jimmy's Egg and do some shopping, it was raining... a nice steady rain. Not downpours... just gentle steady rain. There was sleet on the ground from earlier in the morning. About 4pm-ish we noticed that some snow was starting to fall and the rain had ended. So far, nothing major has accumulated, however it is a watery, slushy mess outside and tonight it's going to be well below freezing which means snotty slick roads again.

Speaking of the watery slushy mess.... today Richard and I headed out to do some shopping for the house. We needed to pick out fabric for window treatments, paint for the bathroom, a wine cabinet, and decor for the fireplace. We spent hours upon hours dashing in and out of stores scoping out our options... and found ourselves in the heart of the city on The Mile of Furniture. It's not really a mile, but close enough. Its an area of the city where there are tons of furniture stores... one right after another.

I was jabbering on the phone to my mom about whether I should hire a seamstress to sew the curtains or should we attempt to do it when I realized that the parking lot we were turning around in.... wasn't letting us out. We were stuck. Richard looked at me... I looked at him... I told mom "gotta go... I think i'm going to have to drive and Richard is going to have to push". It wasnt ice or snow, but we were stuck in deep watery slushy mess. The car wouldn't go forward nor would it go backwards (we probably should have taken the MM cause it will pull thru all that mess... but who woulda thought!)

I tried to go in reverse - it made sense because we'd just pulled in that way and knew we could get out that far and I had no idea what was ahead of me or if I could get through it... but the car would not budge. Richard was about to pop a vein trying to push with everything he had. I have to say he looked so sexy pushing the car in the cold rain and his muscles buldging and me going about 35mph but sitting still, and nestled safely in the warm (and dry) inside... smelling rubber and seeing smoke from the tires and then only picturing $$$ because i'm probably shortening the tire life by about ohhhh..... a year. lol

I tried to go forward, no cigar... I tried reverse again, nothing. Back in drive he pushed me from behind. One inch at a time (really it was about that much movement at a time) we finally got the car out of the parking lot and I pulled onto the street. This is where I gave the 'stay on the cleared streets and don't try to drive through the crap anymore' speech.

We finished our shopping and a few hours later we head home. We pulled down our street at a snails pace because it's still watery slushy too and its really easy to slide around. Richard turned to pull in the driveway and got about half way in when the car just stopped. He gave it more gas and the all too familiar rubber aroma filled the car. Dammit, we're stuck again. He put it in reverse and we couldnt even back down the driveway. We're stuck half way up our driveway! We knew the routine. He got out, I climbed over, threw the car in reverse and he pushed me back into the street. We have to park the little car in the street for now. He's going to have to get a faster running start to get up over the ice and slush to park the car in the driveway.

I can't wait til all this crap is gone.

This was a long post! I don't normally write this much.... !

Snow Time

Happy camper

Patio view


Got pulled on the sled attached to this rope.

Winter Wonderland

It’s been another busy week and I am once again guilty of blog neglect. Hope there isn’t a severe penalty for that. Fifty lashings with a frozen, sleet-encrusted noodle perhaps? ;)

Wednesday found me battling the downstairs vending machine. Those large, blinking rectangular behemoths rarely cooperate with me as they sense my timidity and hesitation. Nevertheless, tasty Nacho Doritos called my name that afternoon and zombielike I descended the stairs to the area where the goodies reside. Rummaging through my change, I inserted the correct amount of nickels and dimes only to have the bag crawl to the very edge of the precipice and stop. Resignedly I once again dug through my purse and repeated the process. Much to my astonishment, both bags chose to obstinately remain with their fellow snacks and refused to budge. Given no choice but to briskly backside butt the machine, I finally released the first one but Bag 2 ignored my invitation and remained hooked in position. Miffed at my audacity, the machine immediately lost power and shut down. Oops! Though the finance office now owes me money, I haven’t mentioned the human vs machine showdown seeing as I’m the guilty party who assaulted the willful contraption. :)

Last Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, we received quite a bit of white stuff covering the ground and it has tenaciously hung in there as we eagerly wait in expectation of the next predicted wet and white round. I wasn’t crazy about the frozen pellets that piled up and resembled snow as neither hefty humans nor weighty vehicles could make a dent in the mixture. It made for treacherous treading and precarious driving. However, I positively relish the thought of plentiful, fluffy flakes. *happy dance* At this point, we are expecting 5 to 7 inches and I have promised myself at least one outdoor recess where snow is used to its best advantage. Most here are complaining but not this transplanted Buckeye. I’m thrilled to pieces and trying very hard not to let my jubilation express itself on my smiling countenance and considering I have a very transparent face, I’m doing a lousy job hiding it. Ker and I will keep you posted on deteriorating conditions in Okieville.

Snowfall Circe

Icecycle Pop

A friend of mine from the eastern part of the state sent me this picture from her hometown. She is one of the lucky ones... they got their power turned back on after hours... most of the town has been without power for days! The ice is breaking power lines, trees, caving in roofs, etc. Although it was the same storm system, they got more ice than we did. Ours was a combo snow/sleet. This weekend its in the forecast to get more snow/sleet and even more intense than this last storm.

Be safe Kristen!

This is Just Slickening!

Another day gone by with very little ice disappearing...
You can see from the pictures that the snow/ice is pretty tough (and slick). With all of us trampling the stuff.... there are very few foot prints to show for it! We've given in and dug out our sleds...

Here are a few of the neighbor kids sliding down our front lawn into the street... across the street... and back up into the neighbors yard. It's that slick.

And it's very cold.

Ice Ice Baby

Ok. I'm sick of the ice.

Today is way worse than yesterday. The highways are clear, but the side roads are total hell. What kind of melted yesterday and sat as water on top of the existing ice/snow, turned into a solid sheet of snotty looking ice and is slicker than snot! It took me 25 minutes to get out of our residential area and get on a major highway to get to work this morning. It normally takes me 5-10 minutes depending on traffic. The maximum speed was about 10mph which absolutely drives me nuts, but there is no way you dare go over that... you'd wind up in the ditch just like the little Pathfinder, Mustang, some sort of little 4-door sedan and truck that I saw.

Rumor has it that we're getting another dump from dear ol Mother Nature this weekend. Hopefully the temperatures will get high enough to melt some of this off!