Friday, January 18, 2008

Sticky Fingers

Here is a glimpse of our sweet, innocent new additions. Cami is the mostly black female with a sincere and abiding love of people food who will stop at nothing to obtain said goodies and Frankie (Ole Blue Eyes) is the striking, standoffish male with the more timid demeanor.


One incident I’ve been meaning to mention is a “little” problem the Circe domicile had last month with a certain ethnic family restaurant. Ok, yes it was a Mexican restaurant. (In Podunkville, the choice of eateries beyond fast food pretty much narrows down to Mexican or Chinese.) Now while it’s true TBC was the intended patsy/chump/sap/dupe and I was not physically present, the lack of any remorse whatsoever when confronted greatly concerned me and I decided the BBB needed to be aware of this establishment’s sticky-fingered workers. Therefore, I filed a complaint. With a few minor changes, here is a close facsimile of the transcript I submitted:


A few weeks ago, in the middle of December, TBC and a relative went to the buffet at this establishment to eat lunch. He has always left a generous cash tip, whether eating from the buffet or ordering from the menu. On this day, the buffet bill came to $15.15 and he paid with his check card. The following week he checked his bank statement via his phone and discovered a $20.00 withdrawal from this establishment. Knowing this was incorrect, he drove to our bank and reported the error only to discover an additional $4.85 added as an unauthorized tip to his bill. Yes, they stole $4.85 by applying it as a tip in addition to the cash tip he had left which would make the tip approximately 50% of the actual bill. He returned to “insert name of guilty eatery” upon learning of this outright theft and after asking to speak to the manager, was told he "had just left." He then informed the waitstaff of the problem at which point the lady spoke in Spanish to the boy who opened the cash register and gave my husband back his money. No apologies, no explanation, no nothing. TBC told his regular waitress that he always left a tip in cash and she replied, "I know you do." I carefully went through our past bank statements to see if this had occurred before and it had not. However, I am concerned that other patrons most likely were ripped off that day and the thievery has been an ongoing unreported problem. I am not sure that the manager is aware of this stealing from what I can only assume originates from his relatives running the cash register. A heartfelt apology would be appreciated…We will no longer be patronizing this local business. Thank you for looking into this matter, etc, etc.

Under “Desired Resolution”, I wrote in part: "A heartfelt apology…was the $4.85 worth losing good customer relations and personal integrity?"


These thieves have not yet responded as this is the message at the bottom of my complaint:


*** We are waiting for the business to respond. They have until January 21, 2008 to respond to this complaint.


I’m not holding my breath for their reply but at least I feel I attempted to right a wrong and warn others because there is no way he was the only goober they tried or succeeded in putting the screws to.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Oh my gosh! I'm scared!!! I got the confirmation email today for Boot Camp. It reads:

LOG BOOK:
You will recieve a log book on the first day of the program...you will be required to fill out this log daily and brig it to class for it to be checked. I am including a half book in this email so you my read the intro to our program, please take the time and read it thourghly, if you have time before the program begin to adjust to this new schedule. ...see attached doc.


Are you kidding!? I have to admit that I sneak chocolate chip cookies!?!?

FREQUENCY:
Our program will be running all 5 days a week (Mon - Fri). if you have opted for the 3-day version you are welcome to pick any 3 days that fit your busy schedule....
Winter Schedule:
This means we will be doing 3 days Inside and 2 days outside. Please remember we have a 40 degree rule...if the temp is under 40 we will be inside.


We will discuss the eating program in detail plus do a sample workout. I suggest to begin doing some physical activity if you do not do some already. The first weeks of the program you are usually quite stiff and sore. I reccommend to start drinking plenty of water. (1/2 your body weight in ounces a day, Example: 160 lbs = 80ounces of water a day)


I pray my already very frequent and intense workouts... are good enough to get me in the starter program!

Things to bring:

Cross training shoes
Water
towel


We expect you to dress approiately...this means no short shorts or tube tops. We are professional and expect the same from students. Please wear spandex shorts under your regular shorts. When we are outside, dress for the weather, wear layers, gloves or whatever you may need to stay warm.


I also have to sign a waiver! I havent read it yet, but i'm sure it gives them the right to yell and scream and hurt us and make us use muscles we didn't know existed. yeah!!! What fun this will be! *kinda sceeered*

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Drop and Give Me 10

Kids! Momma's going to Bootcamp!

*cheerleader jump*

I'm so excited! For the month of February I'll be joining a group of temporarily insane fitness fanatics and going to bootcamp hell. I can't wait to be screamed at and degraded and belittled by my leader! Our leader has trained in Martial Arts for over 20 years and holds a 5th dan black belt in Tae Kwon Do and a 4th dan black belt in Kito Ryu Jujitsu.

He was the Hand-to-Hand combatives guest instructor for the 101st airborn in Fort Campbel Kentucky, 2nd batalion, was inducted into the United States Martial Arts Hall of Fame as most Outstanding Martial Artist and he produced 5 world champions in the Native American World Games.

Sounds fun, doesnt it!??! My sweetie pie Richard bought it for me! Thanks babe!!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Tricep Tuesday

It’s about time I checked in on the blogosphere so here I be. I thought it might be an auspicious time for the semester gym update. For starters, a female student had beat me to the punch in securing my fav machine but you’ll be proud to know I restrained myself from knocking her block off and reclaiming my rightful place as Queen of the Expensive Treadmill. Instead, I resignedly headed for the alternate fav which is its exact twin but squeakier. No biggie. Tuesday/Thursdays at noon make for entertaining people-watching as a phys ed class is held at that time and a motley bunch of students walk/run on the indoor track for a solid thirty minutes. And since it’s a brand spanking new semester, there are a lot more students frequenting the gym which aids in whiling away the endless hours (ok, minutes) on said machine.

Cast of Characters:

Napoleon Dynamite is a former Wellness Center student worker who bears an uncanny resemblance to that character and I've written about him in a previous post. He’s always at the front of the pack leading the suffering minions and actually, he’s a very nice guy. Just thought I’d mention him again.


Next came the Giggle Twins. This duo consisted of one petite adorable Asian gal and her taller American friend. Her pal must have be quite the comedienne as her little buddy burst into fits of annoying laughter during every lap. The giggle is actually more like a jarring gasp as if she was struggling for breath in a most irritating manner. (Yes, she’s jogging so therefore she very likely is gasping for breath, but I really don’t think that totally explains the racket). Like maybe her buddy reaches over and tries to strangle her every time she made that aggravating noise. I've been mulling this over for some time and I think I'd like turn Asian for a change and display a lovely exotic exterior. “S” swears I cannot pull this feat off but maybe if I dropped a few pounds and got brown contacts and a dark wig it just might work. No?


Then there’s Shelf Ass Gal. Now I don’t mean to sound cruel but just how does one get so grossly out of proportion? I mean, she’s not that large but her butt is massive. I would think the only solution to that perplexing problem would be lipo. Also, the poor dear truly needs to invest in a sports bra as a tremendous amount of boob floppage was going on. Just sayin’.


Another older gal who simply must weigh close to 300 lbs plodded around the perimeter. I heartily applaud her as I know heavier gals have a hard time even showing up at the gym for fear of ridicule, but by golly she enrolled in this class and is making an effort to change her passive habits. Baby steps, ya know? It all begins with baby steps.


And last but far from least, though they were not part of this class, were the Three Amigos strutting around the free weight area like badass Banty roosters. I swear they must have called each other up to coordinate their workout gear as they each sported snug black muscle shirts and humongous black and white athletic shorts that could have held at least one extra guy apiece. Now that is not a lense-searing image I really want to cultivate but it's true. I did a lot of covert eye-rolling watching those three but they must not be newbies to the gym as each sported emerging biceps.


Anywho, this concludes my report on the noon gym crowd and here’s to Tricep Tuesday! :)

Monday, January 14, 2008

British Ways

Lordy, y'all!

Did you see the latest video on Britney Spears!?! She's sporting a new accent. It's really freaky. The girl has gone off the deep end...

It's so sad really.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Speed of Lightning

Baby Z and I went with some friends to the Boat and RV Show this weekend. I fell in love with the Yamaha Waverunner!!!

My dad and I have been looking at boats. We'd like to get out skiing this summer and we've been eyeing a few boats... but then we spotted these! Gosh they are so much fun. I know you can't haul friends out with you and party hard while on the water... but jetting across the lake at 60mph is such a rush! (I see speeding tickets in my future!) I then suggested that maybe we should get a boat designed to haul your little watercraft. We could drive these right up the back of our speed boat! whooohooo what fun!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

North for the Summer

Baby Z's going to Canada and Alaska!

Not alone... my whole entire family is going on a big ultra long family vacation! We're going to start our 9 day trip in Seattle. My mom has a sister there and my sis and I have never gone to visit. So, we're going to stop there first and visit the fam before we head north.

What fun this will be! Baby Z gets a passport too!!!

I hope to get cool (no pun intended... hehe) pics like Chica did!

Monday, January 07, 2008

Crazy Catch Up

Playing catch up is never easy but let me take a stab at it. After not one but two visits to two separate pokeys within a 24-hour period, Crazy Cousin was last known to have landed his looney ass in a pysc hospital several counties over where he most likely will stay for an indeterminate amount of time. I’m not sure what all he pulled before this predicted end result, but I’m certain it would be more than blogworthy if I knew the gory details. Unfortunately, I don’t. The particulars from the first arrest are unknown and the subsequent incarceration almost as sketchy. Something about breaking out windows of his pickup with a baseball bat and being “uncooperative with authorities”. Imagine that! : ) Should further information become available, I promise to share with my fellow bloggers. At any rate, for the time being he is no longer in our immediate vicinity.


Then last night, my brother-in-law made an unplanned trip to the ER when he severely cut his thumb and finger using a table saw. I haven’t heard the extent of the stitches but I’m sure he’s feeling it today and work on their new house will experience yet a further delay.


I’m doing quite well and thank you for asking. So far, I’ve avoided serious illness and will be trying my darndest to continue this wellness streak as TBC and I anticipate an island anniversary trip next month. Ever the anal planner, I’ve had most of my attire picked out waaaaay the heck in advance and hanging in a cozy spot in the closet. I took advantage of last summer’s clearance sales to acquire quite a few items for next to nothing. I’m so looking forward to another international trip, and though it will just be for a week, I’m tingling with excitement. As we get closer to the date, I will let the cat out of the proverbial bag and inform you of our thrilling destination.


And speaking of our fuzzy, feline friends, the cat ratio has tipped alarmingly (5:2) in their furry favor as we adopted (had thrust upon us) two kittens “K” had originally agreed to raise. The two curious crap machines have made for extensive employment of the already overworked litter box but since it was TBC’s decision, he’s the one handling the majority of Kitten Litterbox Patrol Duty. I can’t tell you how many times Cami has been caught on the forbidden counters munching on a. ham and b. meatloaf! She is unrepentant and incorrigible and most likely figures kitty cuteness covers a multitude of unpardonable sins. Pictures of our latest acquisitions will be forthcoming...

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Toasty Tootsies

Today has been flipping awesome!!!
As far as the weather is concerned, anyways.

You wouldn't believe it's January by the look and feel of spring when you step outside. It got up towards 70 degrees today. For the first time in weeks/months, I was able to pull on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and head out to the gym without a hoodie! yippppeeee!

Tonight we're all gritching because it's 'hot' in the house and i've even shimmied out of my jeans and slid into something more comfortable. *giggle*

I mean summer clothes :)

Baby Z is even complaining about the heat. I think she's going to request different jammies for tonight... thinner ones. Not her usual winter fleece.

I've decided that i've got to get out more. Since being on maternity leave, my posts have been either non-existent or about crap like the weather. I need funny and entertaining things to happen to me again! I need to see big people!!!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Tale of Two Boobies

I've learned the hard way that it is not a good idea to eat a mammoth amount of raisins... and breastfeed a baby.

She will shoot poop out her diaper sideways. Not once, but four times in a day. Plus she will destroy an entire outfit (top to bottom) with one single grunt and squirt.

Raisins are off the diet. At least for now.

Mashed Potatoes on the pacifier is a no-go. However, Dr Pepper works wonders!!!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Turn the Page

I totally planned on a witty, succinct, end-of-year post and life threw me unexpected Crazy Cousin Curves as 2007 gasped its last dying breath. Nevertheless, I wish you all a prosperous, cheerful new year replete with joy, love, and laughter. To quote an astute female, wise beyond her tender years:

Don't you just love New Year's?
You can start all over.

(uttered from the mouth of either Luscious Lenore or Cunning Carla in Forrest Gump)

That pretty much sums up my feelings on fresh beginnings, starting anew, turning the page...

Monday, December 31, 2007

2008

Happy New Year!!!

Enjoy and be safe.

We're spending our night safe and sound at home... with baby Z and my sister. We're going to party hard on Benadryl, Childrens Tylenol and diet coke. Richard and baby Z both have colds or something....

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Dr Evil Strikes

Eating a big bowl of Mac & cheese late at night isn't a good idea. It blows up in your stomach and it hurts! The big glass of water probably didn't help matters either. That pasta just absorbs the water and gets bigger.

Eating a big bowl of Mac & Cheese isnt a good idea period. Regardless of the time of day. I think I should mark it off my list of foods I can eat.

It's hecka late at night and I sit here thinking about the next few weeks and how my whole world could change completely. Well, as far as employment goes. I can't say too much because I know that Snoopy McSnooperson and Fatty McFatterson back at work have snooped in my email and checked out websites that I visit... and this blog is one of them. So I know they read it periodically (that's why sometimes i'm very vague). I do like to drop little bombs for them on here... and lead them astray. It's so fun to play with little minds.

Anywhoo... Say a little prayer for me... that things go my way! If they do... then it's very possible that the situation with Fatty at work will be over! OVER I say! O V E R !!!! muaaaahahahahhahahahahahh! *very evil laugh*

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Quick Pics

Since Baby Z wasn't really into Christmas this year, everyone had a good time just being goofy with her gifts. My mom found it comical to get her a new outfit... see picture below.



Her daddy secretly slid a little sumpin' sumpin' into her stocking... tattoo's!!!



Her first tat was on her ankle. A pacifier! lol



Grandma had a fit when she saw that we had "tattoo'd up that baby!" We told her it was a toss up between getting her ears pierced or getting her a tattoo. She's against both. lol

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Greetings

Merry Christmas!

How many 5 year olds can you take on in a fight? I can take 14...

14

Looking for payday loans?

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Slippery When Wet

Today we got our predicted inch of snow and some rain... which froze almost immediately because the high today was only in the 30's. That makes for a nasty night because it dropped below freezing and everything that even started to melt (roads and parking lots) has now frozen into sheets of ice.

Richard went to the grocery store for me and came home to announce how "bad" it was outside and how slow he had to drive, etc. Of course, now I decided I "need" to go to the mall. I talked C into going with me (there was a coat I wanted and I had to get it today. Tomorrow might be too late!!!) and we skated out to the MM and headed off down the road. Sure enough... it's slicker than snot outside!!!

It is solid sheets of ice. Perfect shopping weather!!! The mall was quiet and only those who are dare devils... risk takers... brave and strong... dared to make their way to the mall! Not only did we run into the mall, but we made our way across the street to Old Navy, then we even ventured so far as to get a coke at Wendy's! oh my! When the weather gets nasty and everyone stays in... that's when I go out because you can actually get in and out of places quicker. You don't have to battle the people!

Hope y'all have your shopping done!!!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Home Cookin'

OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What my sis told me just minutes ago... is true!

If it's printed in OK magazine. It's true!

and if Perez says, it's true!

Jamie Lynn Spears is knocked up! She's only 16!!! I really thought she was the one with it 'all together'. Apparently not.

Come Smell the Roses

I ventured to the mall again today... WITH baby in tow. I'm getting gutsy!
I don't mean by taking baby Z out... I mean by going to the mall!

Z is an awesome shopping partner. She seems to love to ride along in her stroller and most likely will nap while I'm pushing her around. She just curls up to the side of her little seat and catches up on her ZZZ's. Today was a bit different.

She napped like usual, but while in Macy's she started stirring. I watched her... trying to anticipate the fit that is building. Is it going to be a blood curdling scream? Will it be just a little yelp? Will she put herself back to sleep? I leaned in to watch her and holy cow.

I smelled the smell.

She'd been working on a little Christmas present of her own!

I knew that she'd probably not put herself back to sleep because this diaper was loaded! I brought her home and to my surprise not only had she left me a gift, but she blew it out the side and coated her cute little pink and white onsie with it!
How does a child pooh out the side? or out the back!?!? I've never figured that out. How can something so precious and tiny do so much damage out the backend. And the smell! How do they produce such odor!!! She's keeping up with the boys!

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Sandman Cometh

Are you exhausted and weary? Can’t quite seem to catch enough of those forty winks in the comfort of your own home on your off hours? Then why don’t you just relax, stretch out, and catch a few much-needed zzzs whenever and wherever that drowsy mood strikes!


Now I realize people are worn-out and stressed around this time of year but I’m not sure even that qualifies for a valid excuse for this unprofessional behavior at 3 pm. In the main lobby by the Information Desk. In our Admin building. In front of gawking collegians, startled faculty, dismayed staff, wide-eyed prospective students and crafty employees with cell phone picture capabilities. Like me. ;)

I can't tell if he has the butt-crack thing going on or not in this pic but I believe this was just his light shirt peeking through his dark jacket. And I love how his busy-beaver colleague just keeps plugging away oblivious to the possibility of loud snoring wafting his way...



Then he got up and fell asleep on the counter next to the lobby desk. This must have been awkward for the switchboard gals.



Good thing Grand Exalted Poobah was gone yesterday. Tsk! Several others were snapping away with their own cameras so I have a feeling someone will be called on the carpet (so to speak) today. Yes, I do realize this could be the result of narcolepsy but this is simply not the wisest place to let it get the better of you.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Found a Peanut

I know a lot of fellow Okies are having a rough time of it with the beautiful but very destructive ice storm they recently endured. My neck of the woods managed to dodge that sparkly bullet but the winter is just firing up so there’s no telling what wave of nasty stuff will have our name on it. It’s a toss-up as to whether the white flakes they are predicting will blow in Friday (Weatherbug) or Saturday (Weather Channel) but odds are in our favor will be blessed with a lovely wintry mix as we head into the weekend. I, of course, am heartily employing my ever-popular Snow Dance, sporting my snowflake earrings, and shaking my booty, er, Snow Globe Snowman for all he’s worth hoping for copious amounts of frozen manna from heaven. Yes, I adore snow. :)


Last night as I was happily munching on pistachios that I planned to save for next week (such resolve), I thought of that old song I used to sing with my comrades while we were zipping down the road heading for some educational fieldtrip. I wonder if kiddos still repeat that old chestnut? At any rate, I did find the lyrics online and sure enough, it was unearthed on a website called BusSongs.com. The only difference I found was that my fellow scholars inserted the “went to heaven” line instead of being reincarnated, but other than that, it’s exactly the same.


Found a peanut
Found a peanut
Found a peanut just now
Just now I found a peanut
Found a peanut just now.